TresSugar

Stressed at Work? Get Organized

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 11:00:00 -0700

When it comes to your job, deadlines, annoying co-workers, and barking bosses can make us totally tense. Did you know that a cluttered workspace could also add to your stress levels? If your desk is a total mess, not only is it difficult to find what you're looking for, but it can make your mind feel totally bombarded.

Tidying up your work space will bring calmness and order to your life, which we can all use. Here are some great desk organizers I found that I wanted to share with you.

Self-Help: De-Stress at Work

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Work can totally stress a person out because of a whole combination of things - deadlines, annoying distractions, noise, skipped or unhealthy meals, orders from the boss, time constraints, and the commute.

Here are some tips to help your work day run a little more smoothly:

Organize your workspace - Sometimes de-cluttering your desk is a way to de-clutter your mind. Make sure all your stuff has a special "home" on your desk. Pick up some cute storage containers to put things in. It won't take long to tidy up your space, and it can make a world of difference. Plus knowing where everything is will save you time.
Organize your day - Make a to-do list of all the things you want to get done and how long you think each task will take -- I guarantee this list will help you feel less overwhelmed.
Jot down ideas - It's important to start a project and finish it, so if you get another idea for something else while working on a project, write it in a notebook or on a post-it note so you don't lose your train of thought.

To hear more helpful hints, read more

Listen to relaxing music - Calming tunes can ease your mood and make you happy, which will make you more productive at work. When you're more productive, you get your work done and feel less stressed. Headphones in your ears can also tune out annoying distractions like chatty co-workers and other office noise.
Make sure you eat! - Forgetting to eat breakfast or lunch is just going to put you in a cranky and irritable mood. Plus you won't have the energy or brain power to get your work done. Plan ahead and pack yourself a lunch so it'll be ready for you the next day. Also keep a stock of healthy snacks at work just in case you need a little pick-me-up. Keeping healthy options near by will prevent the temptation to reach for a Snickers bar out of the vending machine.
Don't take on TOO much - If your boss asks you to take on another project and you're already bogged down with an avalanche of work, don't try to be Super Woman. Doing a normal amount of work brilliantly will impress your boss more than doing a ton of mediocre work.
Take a break - Make sure that at least once during your day you take some time for yourself. You don't have to eat lunch during that time (since you most likely eat at your desk anyway), but you can make a phone call to a friend, take a walk, do an errand, grab a cup of tea, read in the break room, do some online shopping - whatever will stop you from working for at least 20-30 minutes.

Got any other suggestions? Share your ideas below.

Source

Say What? Runner Caster Semenya on Her New Life

TresSugar — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:00:13 -0800

"I know who I am. I can't change what [people] say. . . I am a fighter. I never give up. And I knew I was going to get better."

- South African sprinter Caster Semenya has opened up to the media, after officials at the International Association of Athletic Federations (IAAF) publicly called her sex into question this past August. The controversial sex test reportedly revealed that Caster is intersex, and next Friday the IAAF is set to rule on Caster's case. The organization could either ban Caster from competing, require her to undergo surgery, or allow her to compete as she is.

HIV Is the Top Killer of Women Worldwide

TresSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0800

According to the World Health Organization, HIV is the number one killer of women age 15-49. Heart disease kills older women, especially in rich countries, but of the 30.8 million HIV-positive adults in 2007, 15.5 million were women.

A staggering 26.1 percent of the population in Swaziland are infected with HIV - and half of women age 25-29 there are HIV positive.

Women are especially vulnerable to HIV, WHO says, because of biology and gender inequality. WHO Director General Dr. Margaret Chan said, "It's time to pay girls and women back, to make sure that they get the care and support they need to enjoy a fundamental human right at every moment of their lives, that is their right to health."

Adrageous: Organ Donation PSA Gets Raunchy

TresSugar — Wed, 20 May 2009 11:30:00 -0700

Becoming a donor is probably your only chance of getting inside her.

Some organizations in support of worthy causes seem to think that it's OK to create sexist ads to get their message across. (Yes, PETA, I'm referring to you, too.) Take this Dutch (?) ad in support of organ donation. Is it really OK to use this sprawled woman as sexual enticement? The ends don't justify the means, if you ask me. This is just lazy and lame.

Source and Source

Hump Day: I'm Self-Conscious About Receiving Oral Sex

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I'm very self-conscious about my body, and that extends to receiving oral sex. I like to give blow jobs to my boyfriend, but I worry about smelling and tasting good so I rarely let him reciprocate. I wonder if I never get satisfaction when I let him go downtown (he has to practically beg!) because I can't relax enough to enjoy it. Any advice?"

To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more

First off, the vagina is self-cleaning, as long as it's healthy. I mention that because I want to make sure that it's very clear that all of the myths about the vagina being dirty have more to do with sexism and sex-negativity than anything else. That was a bit different in the past, when women's medical needs weren't really addressed and things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis went untreated. At the same time, if you ever suspect that your scent has changed, that can be a sign of these or other conditions and it's worth getting checked out by a medical professional.

But assuming that there isn't anything like that going on for you, you definitely have my sympathies. Worries about our bodies and how our partners perceive us is a serious mood-killer. And the irony is that our partners often either don't mind or actively admire exactly those parts of our bodies that we're worrying about!

From what you've written, it sounds like your boyfriend has no problem going down on you. After all, if he's begging for it, it's probably something that he's into. How does he describe your scent or taste? If he's just as enthusiastic about that, maybe that can help you reframe how you feel about it. As the saying goes, we each have our own tastes (sorry for the bad pun, but I couldn't resist).

Try taking a shower before having sex. If you do it together, then it becomes part of the warm-up instead of a chore. While it may not be strictly necessary, if it helps you relax, there's no reason not to. Just don't overdo it with the soap. The vulva (the exterior female sex organs) is covered with sensitive skin and some women find that washing too much can be irritating. And don't get soap inside the vagina - it can be irritating or even set off a yeast infection if you're sensitive.

It might also help if the two of you approach oral sex as a pleasure in itself, rather than worrying about whether you'll have an orgasm from it. Set the bar a little lower for a while and aim for discovering ways that it can feel good for you, even if you don't have an orgasm. Make it a science experiment and have him try different techniques so you can discover how they feel. One great way to do that is for him to do two different things, such as sucking your clitoris or making circles with his tongue for a little bit. Then you decide whether you liked A or B more. It's a fun way to explore new sensations and keep your focus on what you're feeling, rather than worrying about your scent. If he needs some ideas for things to try, Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex is a great DVD on the topic. Or check out Violet Blue's book Ultimate Guide To Cunnilingus for a fun read.

It could also be helpful if you ask your boyfriend for some positive reinforcement afterwards. After all, you're moving into an edge of your comfort zone and you deserve some hugs for that. When you're ready to move on from the oral experimentation, you'll probably feel better about it if he tells you how much he enjoyed it and that he's glad that the two of you are trying it out. If he goes too far and starts seeming pushy about it, that could backfire, so a light touch is better. But that's a really good way to make sure that you end on a positive note.

I hope that this helps. I know that it can be really hard when exploring out things that feel uncomfortable. It's a good idea to stretch enough to give it a serious try without going so far that it's too much. Take it slowly and remember - you want it to be fun!

The How-To Lounge: Getting Organized

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Even if you’re more clean than messy, it’s still easy to end up with more than a few disorganized piles of stuff lying around the house, office, car, or even in the depths of your purse. Most of us function better in an organized environment, so if you have some clutter getting you down, see my tips and read more.

Determine where your serious problem areas are. The closet is a big one for most people, as are desk drawers and any other nooks or crannies where it might be easy to stuff things out of sight.
Don’t try to get everything done in one sitting. It’ll seem much more manageable if you do it over time, so choose one spot, and start sorting until it’s completely organized before moving on to another area.
Don’t be afraid to throw away (or recycle) things - you really don’t need to keep everything. My ongoing rule is that if I haven’t used it in the last year, then it must not be a necessity. Salvation Army or Goodwill stations are great alternatives for clothing and other items that you don’t want to take to the dump, but can’t sell.
Once you’ve sorted the keepers from everything else, it's time to come up with an organization solution. Buy extra bins to store winter clothes instead of the floor of your closet or move loose papers off of counter-tops by getting file folders for holding your bill stubs and other important documents.
I’ve always found that maintaining a semblance of organization is far more difficult than going through and organizing things every once and a while so try to de-clutter your life as much as possible on a daily basis. Throw away the silly knick knacks you’ll never use. And if you see a pile growing, go through it before it gets to that overwhelming point. You'll thank yourself later!

Source

The How-To Lounge: Getting Your Life Organized

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Even if it doesn’t feel like it in your part of the country, Spring has officially sprung. This year, in addition to dusting the cobwebs from your ceiling and cleaning out your closet, it’s time to start Spring cleaning your mind. Getting your emotions organized will only serve to make everything else easier - from the little things like saving for a possible Summer vacation, to the bigger things like being more optimistic. To check out some tips for getting your life in gear, read more.

I’m all about to-do lists, and you should be, too! Not only are they a great way to see what needs to be done on any given day or for any specific occasion, they’re also a wonderful motivator. As silly as it sounds, seeing what you’ve crossed off already can give a great sense of accomplishment and it'll keep you focused, too!
Get the big things out of the way first thing in the morning. Make that pesky gyno appointment and drop off that package at the post office before you even get to work. The longer you wait, the more excuses you’ll find to keep putting it off - over time these annoying things can transform into mentally burdensome worries.
Set small goals, things that you can actually accomplish without a lot of difficulty. They’ll motivate you to finish the bigger ones. Try cleaning out your purse, organizing your personal email or taking that growing pile of clothes to a consignment store. It really is the little things that make the biggest difference!
Do something relaxing for yourself. Not only can you use the down time to get your thoughts organized, but destressing is half the battle when it comes to getting your life in order. If you can’t do a spa day, take a long walk somewhere beautiful or grab a book and head to your favorite cafe.
Work on being a little more positive each day, both in relation to yourself and others. It may take constant reminders, but a little optimism can go a long way for your physical and emotional health.

Source

Hump Day: Why Do I Get Dry Sometimes?

TresSugar — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Today's Question:

"I get really dry sometimes when my boyfriend and I are having sex. I know all about lubricants, but I'm having trouble guessing when I might need help." To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more

There are a lot of reasons why women experience fluctuations in how much they lubricate. For some, it’s just part of the menstrual cycle. Some women lubricate more at ovulation, while others say that’s when they’re driest. Lots of women also report that their vaginal lubrication changed when they got pregnant and again, some say that they became much wetter and others say that they got drier. So while we know that changes in hormones can influence it, there’s a lot of variation in how much and in what direction. It’s also worth mentioning that menopause generally reduces how much lubrication your body will produce.

Lots of medications and drugs also affect vaginal lubrication, even if it’s rarely listed on the bottle or box. For example, allergy medications are formulated to dry the mucous membranes in your sinuses, but they can do the same to the vagina. Anti-depressants, antihistamines, anxiety medications, smoking cigarettes or marijuana, and drinking alcohol can do the same. In general, if a medication or drug makes your mouth or sinuses dry, it could also reduce vaginal lubrication. Unfortunately, most doctors are unaware of these effects or they don’t feel comfortable talking to their patients about it.

I think it’s really unfortunate that we have this cultural myth that vaginal lubrication is proportional to arousal. Many women find that they can be totally turned on while being pretty dry and others might be quite wet while barely aroused. The best thing we can do is learn to separate the two things in our minds.

You say that you know about lubricants, but for the folks who don’t, here’s a little info.

There are pros and cons to the lubricants on the market, and it can take a little experimenting to find one that will work for you. You might also find that a lube that worked great for a long time isn’t working so well anymore. It’s kind of like shampoo or skin lotion - after a while, you might need to change brands as your individual chemistry changes.

Water-based lubricants can be thin and slippery, or they can be thicker gels. They rinse away really easily, making cleanup a snap, but they do dry out after a while. The glycerin-based lubes last a bit longer, but they tend to get sticky when they dry out. You can add a little water or saliva to freshen them up. While glycerin doesn’t cause yeast infections, it can make one worse if you get one for some other reason, so if you’re prone to yeast infections, avoid these lubes. The glycerin-free lubricants don’t get sticky, but they usually don’t quite last as long. They soak in like hand lotion, so adding water doesn’t work; you need to add some more.

Silicone lubricants don’t dry out (so if you spill some on the kitchen floor, be sure to wipe it up) and are hypoallergenic. They’re also waterproof, which is a plus if you want to have sex in the shower but it can make them a bit trickier to clean up and they sometimes stain sheets. They’re also hypoallergenic and have no taste or scent.

Some people like to use oils as sexual lubricants. If you want to give them a try, use something organic and vegetable-based, such as coconut or almond oils. Mineral oils like baby oil or Vaseline actually dry the skin since the body can’t absorb them or break them down. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature, so it doesn’t go rancid. Keep almond oil in the fridge. And never use oils with latex condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps. Oils will make them dissolve: a condom will break in about 30 seconds if it comes into contact with oil.

A few tips for using lubricants. First, keep the bottle near the bed. You’ll want to be able to grab it when you need it. Second, pump bottles make it a lot easier to add more without fumbling to get the bottle open. Third, if you accidentally get too much lube out of the bottle, don’t put the extra back in. You don’t want to contaminate the bottle with anything that might be on your hand. And lastly, many lube makers offer single-use packets or small bottles. While they cost more per ounce than larger bottles, you can stick them in a pocket or purse pretty easily, not to mention your carry-on bag.

So I think that the best thing for you to do is to keep lube handy and use it when you need it. It takes about 5 seconds to apply and it’ll make sex a lot more fun. And don’t stress about whether it means anything that you sometimes need a little extra slipperiness.

Don't forget to send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman will offer his sound advice!

Do Tell: What Do You Envy About Your Mate?

TresSugar — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

When a relationship works, it often has a lot to do with how the partners complement each other's personalities. If you're super organized, your easy-going mate might balance out the stress you typically feel.

These differences could leave you (lovingly) envying the qualities of your partner. Whether it's his or her cooking skills, tech savvy, or ability to remember everyone's name, what's the quality that gets you green with envy?

Windsor Unifier Desk Organizer	Morgan Desk Caddy
Desktop Organizer	Cubi Desk Bookcase
Claremont Unifier Desk Organizer	Victorious Station Mail Organizer
Bomber Jacket Leather Desk Organizer	Paper Organizer
Storage Box	Claremont Mail Sorter