TresSugar

Awkward! My Friend Keeps Oversharing Her Sex Life

TresSugar — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario requiring your advice. (Have some awkward tales of your own? Join our Awkward! group to get etiquette advice from other readers - that's where we got this gem!)

"I have this really good friend. I love her to death, but she tends to overshare with me, and it's pretty uncomfortable at times. Every time she has sex, I get a text. "Just had amazing sex!" "He's soo great in bed . . . just had the best sex ever!" (Just some of the examples that come to mind.) I get one of these texts almost daily, and it really drives me nuts. I'm afraid that if I say this to her she'll think she can't tell me anything. (She tends to react dramatically.) We are really close and do share a lot, but I don't need an update everytime she gets it on. I don't know what to do!"

News Flash: Women Have a Hard Time Keeping Secrets

TresSugar — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

A new British study finds that about four in 10 women cannot keep a secret no matter how confidential the subject. What really surprised the researchers was the speed with which the confidantes spilled the beans: in less than 48 hours!

The study, which was commissioned by the UK Director of Wines of Chile (?!), involved 3,000 women between the ages of 18 and 65. The most common recipients of their secrets? Boyfriends, husbands, best friends, and their mothers.

I think there may be something to this last bit of information. I recently told a friend a secret, and she said, "I won't even tell my husband," which made me pause. I wonder if women tell themselves that those people don't count, whereas telling a co-worker, for example, would count. Do you have a hard time keeping secrets? If you're curious about some of the research's other fascinating (if not surprising) findings on women and secrets, read more.

Women hear an average of three items of gossip a week.
Three in 10 women have "the urge" to reveal secrets.
Two-thirds of women felt guilty after revealing a secret.
More than four in 10 women think it's OK to tell a friend's secret with someone who doesn't know them.
83 percent of women consider themselves 100 percent trustworthy.

Awkward! Not Inviting a Friend's Husband to the Wedding

TresSugar — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:00:00 -0700

A friend told me about a majorly awkward wedding situation. She's getting married soon, but one of her good friends has a husband who is trouble with a capital "T." He's belligerent, provocative and just basically socially inept. Since this friend is having a small family gathering, she can't chance having this guy ruin her reception by pissing off her guests or picking fights.

What's she worried about? Oh, you know . . .chronic drug use, sudden outbursts, and a violent temper. I wouldn't have qualms about 86ing this guy from my wedding, but I imagine that would probably mean the friend wouldn't be able to come. I hear stories like this all the time - having to choose between two friends, one who hates the other one, family members who can't stand each other, and so on.

Have you ever had to face a similar quandary? What advice would you give to this bride-to-be?

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Sunday Confessional: His Female Friends Infuriate Me

TresSugar — Sun, 10 May 2009 03:00:00 -0700

We're scouring the juicy (but anonymous!) secrets posted on Truu Confessions and letting you dole out the forgiveness - or not. Here's what one confessor had to say about her true feelings on those platonic girl friends:

I always say I'm not a jealous person. . . . but I HATE all of your female friends. For no other reason than, I hate that they get attention from you. Even though I know they are just friends . . . I still hate them.

So check out this true confession and tell us: do you think it's forgivable?

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Group Therapy: Last Minute Cancellations Are Totally Bumming Me Out

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I woke up this morning to a text message from my sister telling me she that she had to cancel our plans for tonight, and for some reason, I can't shake the disappointment I feel.

Recently I've noticed that I'm becoming more and more sensitive to last minute cancellations. Last week when an old girlfriend who I hadn't seen in over a month called to cancel our same-day plans, and I was so disappointed I almost cried! While I understand that people get busy and things come up, I can't help but feel bummed out when my friends bail on me. How can I deal with the balls life throws at me without feeling so down? Am I being too sensitive? Does this mean I'm lonely?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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Where Do You Stand? Receiving Compliments

DearSugar — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

The other day a friend of mine complimented me, telling me that I looked good in the shade of pink I was wearing, and she caught me so off guard that I actually blushed! I've never considered myself shy, but I have to admit, receiving that accolade out of left field made me slightly uncomfortable. I know that a lot of people share my sentiment, so tell me where you stand on receiving compliments. Do they make you feel uncomfortable or do you easily accept praise?

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Are Your Friends a Reflection of Who You Are?

DearSugar — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:00:00 -0800

Last night's episode of The City proved to be as dramatic as ever, and in true reality fashion, everyone was intertwined in each other's business. The jury is still out as to whether or not Adam cheated on Allie, and while Whitney and Jay have nothing to do with it, their differing views are starting to affect their relationship. Of course, being there for your friends is important, but holding innocent bystanders accountable for their friends' actions might be taking things a bit far.

While I think it's important to surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better person, tell me, do you agree with Whitney when she says that your friends are a reflection of who you are?

To get all the fashion from last night's episode, check out our new site, CelebStyle.

Photo courtesy of MTV

Do You Compare Your Relationships to Your Friends'?

DearSugar — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:30:00 -0800

Whitney and Erin are both smitten by the men in their life, and since their relationships began around the same time, I wasn't shocked to see Whitney comparing the two on last night's episode of The City. Erin and Duncan have already exchanged I love yous, but Jay still isn't comfortable putting the BF/GF label on his relationship with Whitney, and it's clearly starting to weigh on her. Of course we all progress at different paces, and we all have different bonds with our significant others, but tell me, do you ever compare your relationships to your friends'?

To get all the fashion from last night's episode, check out our new site, CelebStyle.

Photo courtesy of MTV

You Asked: I'm Insensitive and Want to Change

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I grew up with a verbally abusive mother. She swore, screamed, and said nasty things when she was upset, and she still doesn't understand the impact that her cruel words had on my feelings. As an adult, I'm learning to accept her for who she is but unfortunately, I've also become conscious of the fact that I've inherited her out-of-control mouth; and I don't like it. I've been called "harsh" and "blunt" since I was a preteen, but only now have I realized that those terms are just euphemisms for "mean"! I've begun to catch myself making mean jokes at others' expense, swearing like a sailor, making judgments, and being rude in social situations. The worst part is that I can only seem to catch myself five seconds after the horrible words escape my mouth. I have many friends and a loving boyfriend, but I'm afraid I will drive them all away with my insensitive and harsh words. I'm a good person and I want to change, but I'm not sure I can. Is it too late? - Potty Mouth Patsy

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Potty Mouth Patsy,

Your concerns are valid and I'm glad you're willing to change your ways - admitting your wrongdoings is the first step. It sounds like you have a classic case of not thinking before speaking, but it's not too late, Patsy. First off, try to process your words before saying them out loud and see if that changes anything; I bet it will. Since re-training yourself might take a while, be sure to acknowledge your mean statements and apologize if you fear you've hurt someone's feelings. We all say stupid things every now and then, but it's important to take action and make amends if necessary.

Since you've been clearly hurt by your mother's behavior, you should consider talking to a therapist to work out how her actions affected you and why you're repeating history. You can change this behavior in yourself if you set your mind to it so be patient with yourself and use that fear of being abandoned by your loved ones as motivation. Good luck.

How Much Do Your Online Relationships Matter to You?

DearSugar — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

As reported in the The New York Times, a new study reveals that men are just as attached to their online communities as they are to their real world relationships. Women, on the other hand, reported having a deeper connection to their real life encounters. The article didn't offer explanation for these varying viewpoints, but I'm sure there are many reasons why men and women are different in this respect.

There is something important about a physical relationship - a lot is said through someone's tone and body language - but I have to assume that even if it seems strange to some, online friendships and communities can be just as significant to a woman as her real world ones. But surely it depends on the woman, so since I know you're all active online, I'll ask you: Do you have any online relationships that you value just as much as those in your real life? Or do the connections you create online always come second?

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