TresSugar

Relationship Protocol: How Often Do You Fantasize About Others?

DearSugar — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

When you're in a committed relationship, it's not uncommon to fantasize about other men during those intimate times with your significant other. We often feel guilty about it, but let's be honest, men do it too! So ladies, tell me, how often do you fantasize about other people while getting it on with your special someone?

Source

What Celebrity Would You Want to Kiss at Midnight?

DearSugar — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

The holiday season usually goes hand-in-hand with big blockbuster movies, and this year, there's no shortage of eye candy on the silver screen! Since New Year's Eve is just one day away, I thought it'd be fun to play a little game of fantasy. If you could pick one of these leading men to kiss when the clock strikes midnight tomorrow night, which actor would you want to smooch as you ring in the New Year?

Source

Relationship Protocol: Do You Know What His Number One Fantasy Is?

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

The great thing about a sexual fantasy is that it can be whatever we want it to be. The problem is that if a fantasy isn't in the realm of reality, it can be hard to act on, which is why many of our wild, crazy, whimsical, or just impossible ideas end up staying in the realm of make believe. And that's OK, but what I want to know is: Do you know what your man's number one fantasy is? And have you ever tried it to make it a reality?

Source

You Asked: He's Into S&M

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm usually OK with porn. I watch it myself and have watched it with former boyfriends however, my current boyfriend has always refused to let me watch his porn with him, and recently I learned why. The porn he watches is full of incredibly disturbing sado-masochistic porn, which I had no idea he was even slightly into. We've been together for almost two years! I'm definitely not into this kind of thing, and it makes me uncomfortable that he is. Can I approach him about this? And if so, what should I say? I don't want to ban him from porn that would be hypocritical, I'm just so shocked, and I feel like I need to know what about this turns him on.

- Doesn't Do Dominance Dee

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Doesn't Do Dominance Dee,

When it comes to a couple's sex life, I think communication should always be open, honest, and direct so don't turn this into a secret you carry around or a beat around the bush conversation. Just let him know that you're aware of the particular kind of porn that he's into, and while you don't want him to stop watching it, you'd like to learn more about it. Ask him gentle questions, and avoid any kind of statements that might imply that you think something is wrong with him - if he's been trying to hide this from you, he's probably scared of being judged.

There are many misconceptions about S&M so don't let the stereotypes many of us inevitably carry around steer the conversation; instead, just hear what he has to say. Together you might want to determine how this particular sexual interest will or will not play a role in your own bedroom. And no matter what, know that it's OK if you don't feel comfortable with participating in such sexual play. Now that you've learned about his fantasies, it may take some time to adjust to, so be patient with him and yourself.

Source

You Asked: I'm Fantasizing About My Ex

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating the most amazing guy for almost a year now. We are compatible on every level and our sex life is wonderful. Things are going so well that we plan to move in together at the end of the Summer and are considering marriage in the future. The only problem is I can't stop fantasizing about a guy I used to see off and on. He was out of the picture for a while but now he's back. He's not at all stable boyfriend material, but we have the most intense conversations.

I know intellectually that my boyfriend is "Mr. Right" and that this guy is "Mr. Wrong," but why do I feel so incredibly attracted to him when I see him? I am not a cheater - so that's not the issue. I just want to know why I feel this way and whether it's a sign that something isn't quite right between me and my current guy. Or am I just afraid of commitment?

- Hooked on Mr. Wrong Mandy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Hooked on Mr. Wrong Mandy,

If you know your ex is trouble and you recognize that your attraction to him is potentially harming your current relationship, then I can't help but wonder why you continue to see him or participate in "intimate conversations" with him. While I can't say if it's a fear of commitment or a mismatch with your boyfriend that's causing these fantasies, one thing I do know is that you can't continue to have a close relationship with both.

It's time to cut off all ties with your ex for good and focus your energy back into your current relationship. If you continue to carry deep feelings for your ex or anyone else then I would take some time before moving in with your guy to determine if you are in fact ready to make that commitment. Even if you and your boyfriend are compatible on every level, it's possible that the deeper attraction and connection just isn't there. But you'll never know if you don't put your ex out of your mind and find out for yourself.

Source

Group Therapy: I Can't Stop Fantasizing About a New Guy

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I recently met a guy who is a great catch - honest, nice, cute, just an absolute love. I've chatted with him a few times on separate occasions, and all of a sudden I can't get him out of my head! I keep fantasizing about him - not in a sexual way. I think about us being in a relationship, doing all that cute couple stuff and holding hands, and even being married! I just met this guy, and I'm freaking out that fantasizing about all this ridiculous stuff is going to affect my behavior toward him.

He's a really attractive guy, and his line of work puts him in the public eye, so women tend to throw themselves at him. As a result, he's a little shy and I think he's uncomfortable with new women because he can't tell who is interested in him solely for his looks and work, rather than who he is as a person. He is very polite, and I feel like he would rather continue a conversation and appear interested even if he really wasn't. How can I stop thinking all these radical thoughts about being with him so I don't let myself down in the likely case he isn't interested in me?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Source

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Fantasized About Someone Else?

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

It’s always been assumed that every once and a while, men fantasize about another woman while having sex. But for women, fantasizing about someone else often leads to feelings of guilt and relationship insecurity. However, truth be told, just as a small crush is perfectly normal, so is fantasizing about someone else while doing the deed. Taking it to an extreme is never good, but a casual appearance by Javier Bardem is fine by me! So ladies, tell me, have you ever fantasized about someone else while having sex with your significant other?

Source

You Asked: How Do I Shake This Fantasy?

DearSugar — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

Ever since I was little girl, I've really been caught up in the idea of meeting a Prince Charming, having a great love story, and getting that storybook happy ending. Growing up I always had crushes, but I never had a real relationship. I figured that I just needed to mature in order to find my perfect love. I recently turned 20, and my best friend mentioned how I had never been in a relationship. Now all of sudden I'm completely terrified that I'm never going to meet anyone really special. I'm terrified of ending up alone, but at the same time I don't want to rush into a relationship that won't be perfect.

I know that I'm pretty picky. I have a certain idea of how my boyfriend should look, and when I meet a guy and he doesn't look like that, I immediately decide that he's not the right one. I also get turned off if a guy is interested in me. I don't know what it is, but I guess I just feel like I should fall for him first. I realize I'm relying too much on this childhood fantasy, but I don't know how to fix that. What can I do?

- Head in the Clouds Cameron

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Head in the Clouds Cameron,

It really sounds like you're struggling with the divide between the fantasy of perfect love that you built as a child and the reality of life and being an adult. While it does seem that you're closing yourself off from many wonderful people and possibilities, 20 is not old! There is plenty of time to date for a while, meet the right guy, and have a great life, so stop worrying about it and start focusing on breaking free from that constricting love story!

First of all, no one is perfect - in appearance or personality - but flaws are what make us who we are. Instead of worrying if a guy lives up to your ideal, try getting to know him for who he is. Don't even think about where it might go; just learn to enjoy the moment.

I think it's great that you don't want to rush into a relationship just for the sake of having a boyfriend, but at the same time, losing interest the second a guy has feelings for you isn't a good choice either. While you can't make yourself fall in love with someone, you can train yourself to be open to the possibility. Keep in mind that if a guy has a crush on you, that means he thinks you're special, and to me, that's the foundation for a great love story!

Source

What's Your Favorite Fantasy? The Results

DearSugar — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:00:00 -0700

The results are in, and I can't say that I'm too surprised that being dominated surpassed all the other choices with a whopping 53 percent victory. Though I must say that almost famous's fantasy, hot sex in Summer rain, certainly doesn't sound bad either! Perhaps we ladies are just more creative! To check out the ranking in Men's Health, read more.

Stimulating yourself while he watches
Being dominated
Having sex in public
Making a sex video
Threesome with another woman

I find it really fascinating that Men's Health number one was our very last choice, coming in below "other" with only three percent of votes. I guess we prefer it when he's in control - at least when it comes to sex. According to the article, being dominated allows women to act out the forbidden fantasy of becoming an object of desire. Do you agree? For those of you who voted it as your fave, what is it about domination that's such a turn on?

Source

Dear Poll: What's Your Favorite Fantasy?

DearSugar — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0700

In the March issue, Men's Health shares the top five female sexual fantasies as determined by a pretty hefty poll of 10,000 people. According to the results, the top female fantasies are actually the same as the top male fantasies - how convenient! While I'm thrilled that the article helps men figure out how to please their partners, it's hard to believe that we share the same fantasies. Let's see if DearSugar readers match the stats. Vote below and tell me which one of these, if any, is your number one fantasy and I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how you measured up!

Source