TresSugar

Do Tell: Have You Ever Had an Experience With a Woman?

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Tyra dedicated yesterday's show to straight women who have the hots for lesbians, and lesbians who have the hots for straight women - confusing, I know! Though her guests say they typically date men, many of them admitted to having relationships with other women, and loving it!

I think we're all incredibly lucky to live in a time where exploring your sexuality is accepted, so tell me, have you ever had an experience with a woman, even if you consider yourself to be straight?

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Experimented With the Back Door?

DearSugar — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Since sex can be somewhat embarrassing to talk about, I gave you all an opportunity to ask whatever burning questions you had over the weekend, anonymously of course. A lot of you were curious about the booty, and I wasn't all that surprised - anal sex isn't the easiest or most PC topic to discuss! Since it was top of mind for many, I'm curious to know if you've ever experimented with anal sex before, so tell me . . .

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Have You Ever Made a Sex Tape?

DearSugar — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Thank you all for participating in Maxim magazine's sex survey so far - I'm sure their male readers have learned quite a bit about what women want and expect from them! To finish off this fun series, I have one more question for you to answer before taking the rest of their survey here.

As we all know, some couples like to experiment in the bedroom, and since your secrets are safe with us, tell me, have you ever made a sex tape?

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A Do or a Don't: Food in the Bedroom

DearSugar — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700

The texture and taste of food is often a sensual experience on its own, so you can see how it could spice things up in the bedroom as well. I’m talking about sexy foods like strawberries, whipped cream, honey, and chocolate! But then again, food is also messy, sticky, and sometimes just downright dirty, which are the parts of sex most people like least. I’m torn on this one, so let me ask you this: Do you think using food as foreplay is sexy? Or is it one of those things that’s a whole lot better in theory than in practice?

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The Dos and Don'ts of Dirty Talk

DearSugar — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Many of you admitted to enjoying talking dirty, but I'm sure there are just as many of you who have yet to give it a go. It's true that dirty talk done wrong can be fairly awkward, but when you do it right, it can be a total turn-on for both you and your man. So if you're ready to try something new, here's my crash course in talking dirty.

Fortunately, dirty talk is more about attitude than what you're actually saying. So no matter what you say, just make sure you use your tone of voice to really sell it.
Try reading some erotica beforehand. Not only will it get you in the mood, but it might just give you something to talk about.
If you're noisy in the bedroom, use that sound to your advantage. Moans and gasps can give way to the most natural dirty talk!
Take baby steps. Start by throwing in a few sexual and arousing words during your usual lovemaking routine, and as you get more comfortable, amp it up. The more you get into it, the more he will, too.

To see the rest and add your own tips, read more.

If you're shy at first, don't feel like you have to shout; it's just as sexy to whisper into his ears.
Though I'm positive your man is going to be more than excited once he hears your dirty talk, if you want to get him more directly involved, start by asking him questions. He's sure to offer his own sexy response.
Once you've gotten more comfortable, use dirty talk as a way of expressing your wants and needs in the heat of the moment. It's a great way to open communication in bed without it getting awkward or too technical.

For those dirty-talk veterans out there, what are your tips for the newbies?

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Dear Poll: Do You Have Special Occasion Sex?

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Sometimes I think it's silly how we wait until Valentine’s Day to justify buying flirty and totally impractical lingerie or that we don’t plan a night away until we have a good excuse - like someone else's wedding. Then again, life is busy and expensive so it makes sense that we only want to splurge on special occasions. But what about when it comes to sex? I’ve noticed that people often wait for a “special” night to try something new in the bedroom, but doesn't that ruin the spontaneity? Of course, we all like having something to look forward too so ladies, when it comes to sex, do you wait for a special occasion to pull out all the stops?

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365 Days to Sexual Satisfaction?

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Even the most sexually-inclined couple is unlikely to fathom having sex every day for a year straight, but a recent article in the Style section of the New York Times discusses one couple who did just that. Charla Muller decided to celebrate her husband Brad's 40th birthday by giving him the gift that keeps on giving: sex, once a day for a year. And she followed through, too!

While it might be more exciting to say that the Muller's year of sex led to a level of sexual satisfaction neither had ever dreamed of, the results were actually a bit more subtle. Charla refers to it as "a really meaningful lesson," which according to the sex experts is to be expected. The article notes:

Shoshana Bulow, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist in Manhattan, pointed out that sex is a lot more complicated than frequency. “There’s all sorts of reasons people lose interest in sex with their partner - disappointments, life cycles, financial issues,” she said. “Just having it isn’t going to resolve those.” Nonetheless, sex every day seems to have worked for the Mullers. Charla said:

It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don’t think either of us had experienced before.

Though the Mullers gained a new perspective, for some, 365 days of sex might be a deterrent to emotional connection, but what do you think? Is a sexual marathon brilliant for a couple in need of a relationship revamp? Are there any circumstances under which you would you be willing to give it a go?

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Good Idea or Bad Idea: Sex in the Shower

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

It can be a total turn on to enjoy some sexy time outside of the bedroom. And there’s nothing quite as steamy as a soapy lather and two naked bods in a hot shower. But having sex in water is not without its negatives, and the confining and slippery walls of the shower can be especially hard to maneuver. Sometimes it ends up being more awkward and frustrating than heart-pounding and sexy. But I suppose it all depends on your idea of a good time, so in that case, do you think sex in the shower is a good idea or a bad idea?

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Sunday Confessional: I Won't Experiment in Bed With Him

DearSugar — Sun, 18 May 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I have been in my current relationship for about a year, but I have known my boyfriend for four years. We were friends before getting together, and I actually knew him throughout my last relationship. During the time before we were together and after my last relationship, I jokingly, and perhaps teasingly, made references to the sex life with my ex, who was always convincing me to try something new.

Once we got together I stopped discussing my sexual past; however, if he flat out asked me if I had done a particular sexual deed or position, I would tell him if I had. Basically, he knows more about my sexual history than I would like. We have a good sex life, but recently, he has been putting a lot of pressure on me to experiment with him in the bedroom because he knows that I've tried certain things before. I am happy to oblige with some of his requests, but others I am not interested in trying again.

He assumes that since I was a willing participant with my last boyfriend, I should also be with him. I have tried to make it clear to him that just because I've done things before doesn't mean that I want to do them again, but he's really struggling with this. He is more hurt than angry; he feels like I must be less into him than my previous boyfriend. I feel terrible for making him think he's inadequate. I want to move past this, but I'm just not willing to try some of these things again. Can I be forgiven if I stand my ground on this or am I being selfish?

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You Asked: Our Sex Life Is Missing Something

DearSugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm 27 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together for four years. He and I are in the process of purchasing a home and moving in together with his 7-year-old son of whom he has primary custody. We have a great relationship, operate a successful business, and are building a nice family.

The problem is that for the past few months I've been feeling like something is missing sexually. We've always had a good sex life, and nothing has changed, but I think that I might be the problem. I long for the feeling you get when you hook up with someone new for the first time. I've been having dreams lately about getting together with other men, and I always wake up longing for something else. This feeling has been distracting me and leading me to dwell on the smallest little things.

When I was younger, I caved to my desires and cheated on two of my former boyfriends. However, I truly have zero desire to cheat on my current boyfriend. I love him dearly, can't imagine being with anyone else, and would never hurt him, but it's difficult to just pretend my feelings don't exist. Should I talk to him about it? Is this something that everyone goes through?

- Bored in the Bedroom Beth

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Dear Bored in the Bedroom Beth,

After a few years in a relationship and the impending move, it's completely normal to feel that desire for something new or different. While I'm happy to hear that you have no plans to cheat on your boyfriend, I don't think you should just ignore these feelings. Although I don't recommend telling your boyfriend that you're having desires to hook up with other men, I think it's perfectly OK to let him know that you need some changes in the bedroom.

Try experimenting with new positions and styles - ask your boyfriend to take you by surprise! Or try adding some spice to your usual routine; go out on the town and replicate some of that first date excitement. Even such a small change in the everyday can make what's old feel new. If you still continue to feel this way and remain sure of your feelings towards your boyfriend, try speaking with a therapist. Perhaps there's a deeper emotional issue that has lead to this pattern of desire.

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