TresSugar

Money and Relationships

DearSugar — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:18:46 -0700

Meeting someone and becoming a couple is a wonderful feeling. You begin sharing your time together and your love for each other, and as your relationship grows closer, you may move in together, which means sharing expenses.

Sure, it's nice when a guy asks you out on a date and offers to pay for dinner, but when it comes to being in a committed relationship, I'm a firm believer in sharing all the costs. While every couple is different, I don't think one person should be in charge of bringing home the bacon while the other one slacks at home.

So how can you make dealing with money as fair and painless as possible? Here are some tips:

No one said you had to merge all your money. And I hate to say it, but in this day and age, with so much divorce, that's just not a smart idea. But you could open a joint checking or savings accounts to pay for joint expenses such as rent, mortgage, groceries, electricity, etc. If one of you makes more money than the other, you may want to split the bills accordingly. So instead of spitting the bills 50/50, you may split them 60/40. As long as you are in agreement about your plan, that's all that matters
If you decide to go this route, you should use your personal bank account to pay for things that are solely for you like clothes, gym memberships, hair and nail appointments, gifts, etc.

Want to hear the rest? Then read more

It's not uncommon for one person be in charge of managing the finances. This person should deal with all of the paperwork, the bills, and the credit cards. (It doesn't have to be the guy. Growing up, this job was always my mother's.)
Decide what days bills are paid, the 1st, the 15th, etc. of every month. Whether one person is dealing with the bills or you're doing it together, this will ensure that it gets done on time and with no late fees.
When it comes to big purchases, like furniture, a pet, or a house, you must consult the other person before making any major decisions. Make sure to communicate openly about your wants and your concerns when it comes to spending large sums of money. This is good for your finances and for your relationship.

These are just a few tips that you may find helpful, but if you have a plan already in place that works for you, stick with it. Money problems can tear relationships apart, so just make sure you two are upfront and equally responsible when it comes to your expenses.

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Do Tell: What Are the Worst Male Fashion Offenses?

TresSugar — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:00:28 -0800

A popular nightclub in Australia has decided to ban "metrosexuals" in an attempt to curb violence. Apparently a certain style of dress is enough to start a bar fight.

On the list of forbidden clothing items you will find low-cut v-neck t-shirts, skinny jeans, pointy white shoes, popped collars, and Ed Hardy tops. I think many of us would be happy to go to a bar with this type of restrictive dress code.

When trying out fashion trends, men can come off as trying a little too hard. The power jeans trend - the tendency to pair expensive-looking jeans with a blazer for an "I'm hip!" vibe - is another example. Which male fashion fad would you like to ban?

Grab Bag: Do Men Check Each Other's Packages Out?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:20:00 -0800

Burning question du jour: do men look at other men's penises? - Em & Lo
If at first you don't succeed..." - Lemondrop
"I am haunted by my boyfriend's exes." - The Frisky
Ugh. Her husband checks out other women. - Your Tango
Why separate is not equal: It's more expensive to be a gay couple. - New York Times
Sending naked pics to guys: let's discuss. - Glamour
Why not just call Nidal Hasan an American? - Double X
Are colleges discriminating against women? - Jezebel

Group Therapy: How much is too much for guests to pay to attend a destination wedding?

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:00:00 -0700

I am in a destination wedding this summer. My partner and I are going, and it is costing us over 1100 for airfare and the rooms are 800 per night (all inclusive). I tried to look at this as a vacation, but the more I think about it the more I know I would never choose this location as a vacation spot and am not excited about where it is and what we are spending the money on. Yes, I am excited my friend is getting married (not her first wedding), but I am not excited about the high expense. Do we still spend money on a gift? What about the added expense of helping throw her a bachelorette party/girls night since I am a BM? How much $ is too much? Am I being completely irrational? Please tell me your thoughts on this.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

DIY Burials: Less Expensive, More Intimate?

TresSugar — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Due to the recession, most of us focus on how much we spend going about our daily lives, but we don't often budget for death, which can be very pricey. An increasing number of people are finding ways to decrease the cost of burying a loved one - they're holding DIY funerals.

Compared to the average cost of a funeral, which runs about $6,000, taking over part or all of the burial preparations can cost family members as little as $250. In states where a funeral director is required, home funerals are still less expensive. And loved ones say it seems like "the natural, loving way to do things." It also sounds a little creepy. The New York Times explained the home burial process for 92-year-old Nathaniel Roe:

They washed Mr. Roe’s body, dressed him in his favorite Harrods tweed jacket and red Brooks Brothers tie and laid him on a bed so family members could privately say their last goodbyes.

There are countless organizations and individuals (called "death midwives") who help families with things like setting up cremation, moving the body to a cemetery, or securing a burial permit (if available) when a family decides to bury their loved one on their property. Would you ever consider this?

Source: Flickr User KaCey97007

Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I think we can all agree that the worst part of being in a wedding is the expense. Though traditionally wedding attendants pay for their own attire and travel expenses, that particular rule has never made much sense to me. Obviously in some cases, especially when it’s a large wedding party, expecting the bride and groom to pay seems unrealistic, but I just don’t know how I feel about this one. Proper etiquette aside, who do you think should pay for the bridesmaid expenses?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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All War Is Costly-Do You Know Which Is the Most Expensive?

CitizenSugar — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 09:00:33 -0700

WIth President Bush signing the $162 billion war funding bill yesterday combined with the news that the US spends $720 million a day in Iraq, it seems like this war has to be the spendiest ever by a long way.

Well, not yet it's not, and it's got a long way to go before it eclipses the most expensive war the US has ever waged. The brilliant Libertarian-pegged mag Reason (which I just picked up and cannot put down) has the cost of every major US conflict, translated to modern dollars. Think you know how much of the treasury we blew through in the Civil War? Which was more expensive, the Korean War or Vietnam? The answers are fascinating, go test your mettle.

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Bailed-Out Companies Expensing Perks to the Taxpayer?

LibertySugar — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:15:00 -0700

Apparently there's a lot of cash to go around at insurance company AIG, which makes a lot of sense considering the US government cut the failing giant an $85 billion bailout check. In fact, since Sept. 16, AIG has received $123 billion in loans from the Federal Reserve.

This week, news broke that top executives expensed $86,000 for an English hunting trip, explaining later that it was an "annual event . . . planned months before" the federal bailout. In September, AIG spent $440,000 for a week-long retreat for top-performing agents at a lavish California resort, only days after the first $85 billion loan was announced.

Cutting back on the over-the-top perks seems respectful to the taxpayer, but some politicians want the bailed-out institutions to go further. To see how, read more.

On Monday, Barack Obama proposed that lenders participating in the federal bailout should freeze foreclosures temporarily for families making good-faith efforts to make their payments. Does that sounds fair to you?

CEOs and politicians should figure out a way to acknowledge and assist the average American taxpayer, who has helped save the jobs of employees at companies at AIG, while many themselves lose their jobs or retirement savings. In the meantime, you taxpayers can purchase shirts that say: "My Government Handed Out $700,000,000,000 to Wall Street Bankers and All I Got Is This Lousy T-Shirt."

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Group Therapy: Sharing the Expenses

Fri, 02 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and we've lived together for all but one month. (Yes, we moved quickly.) We have an amazing relationship, and we are very happy together, but I feel like I have always supported both of us. When I first met him, he was living off of ramen noodles and tap water. He had a job, but they had cut his hours, and he was having a rough time finding a different one despite all of his searching. I moved in with him, and I was working full time and making pretty good money, so I took care of most expenses.

About four months after moving in together, I pretty much told him he had to do something about his part of the bills because spending all of my money was unfair. He got lucky and ended up getting a great job. He's had the job now for almost a year and makes way more money than I do, yet I feel like I still support us.

I bought a car recently, and I'm still making monthly payments. He uses it too, almost on a daily basis, but doesn't help pay for it at all. In fact, he doesn't bother paying for gas, and if he has to, he expects me to pay him back. He told me that I should pay the cable bill because I am the one that watches it, not him. I'm not sure how to even begin to bring this up to him. I tried a while ago and he got really angry with me. What can I do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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E-Health Records Raise Privacy Concerns About Sexual Health

TresSugar — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

In February, the US government mandated that doctors and healthcare providers create an Electronic Health Record (EHR) for every American by 2014. This new system, which healthcare providers and government officials can access when authorized, promises to make health care more efficient and less expensive. But there's a growing concern that the adoption of a central, online system could compromise patient privacy.

Some people worry that private information, such as someone's sexual health history, could get in the hands of the wrong people if health information becomes too centralized. One congressman, Rep. Patrick Kennedy, was recently asked specifically if information about STDs and abortion would be included in a person's record. He said that patients would be able to opt out of including such personal information in the electronic file.

Life is always easier when you swap out a paper-intensive system for searchable, sortable electronic databases. But when it comes to health records, there are risks to consider. Would you choose not to include sensitive information about your sexual health in your official e-file?