TresSugar

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Introducing Your Significant Other

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:30:00 -0700

I don't know about you, but when I'm dating someone, and we're in an established relationship, I like to be introduced as what I am - their girlfriend. Often times, though, men don't feel comfortable putting labels on their mate, and Emily Post agrees with this practice:

The English language may contain more words than any other, but it has yet to supply satisfactory designations for people in intimate relationships other than "husband" and "wife" and the French "fiance" and "fiancee." So begin with the introduction basics: a gracious exchange of names. Spelling out relationships in an introduction can be a distraction and may make people uneasy.

I happen to think not explaining the relationship makes things more awkward, especially for the person being introduced, but what do you think? Do you prefer to be introduced with a title that explains your relationship, or are you completely indifferent?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Forgetting Someone's Name

DearSugar — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

If you're forgetful by nature, I'm sure you've goofed an introduction before, or forgotten someone's name after meeting them a few times. If this sounds familiar, you're in luck because Emily Post has some suggestions for the next time you're in a predicament like that!

Don't panic. Embarrassing as it may be to stumble over a name, don't fail to attempt an introduction. If the person is attentive, he may see your hesitation and cover for you by introducing himself. If the person is wearing a name tag, you might take a quick peek. Otherwise, you should apologize quickly and say that you've suddenly forgotten the person's name. Do the same if you aren't sure of someone's last name. ("I'm sorry Aileen, but I don't know your last name.") The person should fill in the blank for you. There's no need to continue apologizing for your lapse.

I like her advice, but in the heat of the moment, you might not be that quick on your feet so tell me, how do you save face when you've forgotten someone's name?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Talking Loudly

DearSugar — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:00:00 -0800

I've always been a loud person - people tell me I'm missing the indoor voice gene - but according to Emily Post, booming pipes in public places isn't the most polite thing:

"Keep your voice to a reasonable volume. Public places are noisy by nature, but don't add to the din by talking louder than you must. Think of keeping your voice volume down as a personal form of public service."

This is easier said than done, especially when you're having fun with friends or family at a common place, but tell me, are you conscious of how loud you are when socializing?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Primping in Public

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 09:00:00 -0800

Many of us take public transportation to and from work, which makes me think you've been witness to women primping on the bus or the train a few times too many. Public grooming has always been a pet peeve of mine, and as it turns out, Emily Post agrees:

"Let your grooming wait. Quickly combing your hair or freshening lipstick won't offend, but peforming your morning grooming routine on public transportation - or, more dangerously, in your car - is something to avoid."

Are you in agreement with us as well, that making yourself presentable should be done behind closed doors?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Cussing in Public

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Emily Post pretty much set the bar for manners, and last week when I quoted one of her echoes of traditional etiquette, most of you agreed with her and like it when a man walks on the curbside.

Below is one example of what Emily calls "Today's Rudest Behaviors" in her book Etiquette. Now I must admit to being guilty of this from time to time, but I agree with Emily, it's not the most charming way to behave in public.

"Using four-letter words and other obscenities in public without any reservations - especially in the presence of children."

Do you watch your mouth amongst strangers or do you have a potty mouth like me?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Men Walking on the Curb Side

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:30:00 -0800

I got an Emily Post's Etiquette book for Christmas this year - fitting, I know! - and while flipping through some of her old-school ideals, I thought it'd be fun to see how your real life behavior and expectations of others stand up to Miss Manners herself! One of her echoes of traditional etiquette is below.

"On the street, a man traditionally walks on the curb side - a custom born of the idea that women needed to be shielded from the potential hazards posed by the passing horse-and-buggy parade."

I've known men who religiously obey this unwritten rule and those that don't even know it exists. Since proper etiquette means something different to everyone, tell me, is this something you'd expect a man to do when he's with you?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Taking It Personally

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

We all have bad days, and I'm sure it's also safe to say that we've all taken our aggression out on people that didn't deserve it. When that happens, it's usually just the anger talking, but it's sometimes hard to decipher logic from feelings. However, Emily Post says:

Don't automatically take it personally. Sometimes the offender has had a terrible day or is simply in a bad mood. Give him the benefit of the doubt by imagining what he might be going through - the string of a recent confrontation with someone, a family problem, trouble at work, the illness of a loved one.

While all those scenarios have the ability to alter someone's mood, tell me, is not taking it personally easier said than done?

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