TresSugar

What to Bring to an Engagement Party

TresSugar — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:30:00 -0700

xlarger" height="400" width="266">So you got invited to an engagement party. Fun! But what should you bring?

First things first: you are almost never required to bring a present to an engagement party. In fact, bringing something too extravagant could be considered poor taste. The couple will get plenty of gifts at the wedding, so you don't want to overdo it at the more informal gathering.

But, if you're like me, you probably want to share your excitement for the couple by offering them a thoughtful gift. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Lighten up: Depending on the couple's sense of humor they may get a chuckle out of a book like Honeymooners Forever: Twelve Step Marriage Survival Guide.
DIY: You could team up with friends to make a photo memory book of good times shared among the couple and your group of friends. Or you could put together a book of well-wishes from the guests and present it to the couple.
Keep it simple: a nice bottle of wine or a fancy box of chocolates shows that you're in the mood to celebrate.
Stick with the planning theme: Planning a Wedding to Remember: The Perfect Wedding Planner would be thoughtful and useful.
Be sincere: A heartfelt card might make the best gift of all.

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Do Tell: How Many Pre-Wedding Parties Are Too Many?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Being a part of someone's wedding is a huge honor, but it's also very time-consuming and expensive. It seems that everyone's free time is getting more and more limited, so when you add wedding requirements to the mix, they can feel like more of a burden than an event to look forward to. Typically brides have one engagement party, one bridal shower, and one bachelorette party, but some have many more. Now I love a good party, don't get me wrong, but I know how monotonous these kind of parties can be. So ladies, do tell, how many pre-wedding parties are too many?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Choosing Your Wedding Party

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

There’s something really special about having your closest friends and family members stand by your side as you take your wedding vows, but oftentimes the task of picking who can be downright draining. To get some quick tips on making this particular wedding task less stressful, read more.

Sit down with your fiancé and decide how many each of you would like to have in your party - consider the practicals like standing room and whether or not you intend to compensate their wedding outfits. Keep in mind that it’s very common to have a mismatched number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but if you want things to be symmetrical, decide now.
It may sound cheesy, but you truly are supposed to be choosing the people you want nearest to you while you take this next step, so choose people you really care about. Don’t feel obligated to ask someone just because they asked you or because your parents are pressuring you.
When it comes to choosing the lucky few, think about your expectations for your bridal party, and if the people you have in mind are up to the challenge. For example, if one of your closest friends lives across the country, she won’t be able to do as much as one of your friends who lives in the same city. Also, if your best friend is completely unorganized and unfocused, it might be best to ask your sister to help with the maid of honor duties instead.
Since you're asking the people in your life who are nearest to your heart, it’s likely that they’ll be thrilled at the occasion, but don’t make that your assumption. You’re asking them to do this as a favor to you, not them, so don’t be upset if they say no. Keep in mind that people have busy lives - some might not have the time or money to participate. Give your friends the out, so when they say yes you’ll know that they are 100 percent committed.

Remember, if you’re worried about leaving someone out or hurting feelings, there are plenty of other ways they can be involved in your wedding - you can even note them in the program or on your engagement website.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Product of the Day: Bachelorette Party Invitations

GiggleSugar — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:02:00 -0700

Bachelor and bachelorette parties are so odd to me. Some of them seem to undermine the symbolism of the romantic gesture of getting married. Like, how does having a stripper grind on you during a lap dance signify that you're ready to walk down the aisle with your sweetie? And how does telling your friends you finally picked a pr*ck bode well for your upcoming nuptials? (Yeah, I know. I need to lighten up.)

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Do, Dump, or Marry? Vince Vaughn

TresSugar — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Perennial party boy Vince Vaughn may be done with his bad-boy ways. In a recent interview he was quoted saying that for the first time in his life, he wants to be married and have kids.

Seeing as the Couples Retreat star is engaged, the following question is purely in the realm of fantasy, but how do you feel about this hunk of a man?

Awkward! Cut From the Wedding Guest List!

TresSugar — Wed, 27 May 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Beware. Bad behavior can get you cut from a wedding guest list. At least it happened to a friend of mine last year.

The bride in question was throwing an engagement party. Without any warning, my friend pulled a no show. The bride later found out that instead of going to the long-planned party, she spent the day with a new crush! And the bride was particularly hurt because my friend (also her good friend) never even followed up to apologize.

So when it came time to send the official invitations, the flaky friend didn't get one in the mail. Since the wedding, the two have remained friendly, but more distant than before.

If a friend seemed flippant about your wedding festivities would you bump her from the guest list and invite someone else who hadn't been so disrespectful? Or do you think the bride overreacted?

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Ask a Librarian: Tomboy Has Never Been on a Date

TresSugar — Mon, 25 May 2009 09:59:08 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a librarian will offer some common sense advice. You can submit questions here.
Today's Question:
After turning 23 a few weeks ago, I started to wonder what was holding me back from finding Mr. Right. It's not that I haven't been on a date for a few weeks, or that I just keep dating a string of loser guys, it's that I have never been on a date. I didn't even have dates to high school dances. I've never even been told I was pretty/cute by a guy so that may have something to do with it. At a time in life where the majority of my friends are in relationships and are getting engaged/married, I'm all alone.

I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I am too shy to find a guy to like me, or if once I get over my shyness that my tomboyish nature forces me into the "friend zone" all of the time. (I was an only child raised by her father who treated me like a son.)

I've been told that I'm funny and smart, but I think my love of sporting events and rock concerts, knowledge of cars, and love of all things nerdy scares guys away. Do you have any advice for me so I can stop being seen as the sisterly type, and start being seen as dateable? I'd really like to find a nice guy soon. Thanks a lot for your help.

- Undateable Tomboy

To read a librarian's advice, read more.

Dear Undateable Tomboy,

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “tomboy” as “a girl who behaves like a spirited or boisterous boy.” You are 23, and it’s time to start acting like a woman, not a girl. Don’t worry right now about meeting Mr. Right; you just want to meet some misters. People have told you that you are smart and funny, but guys can’t get to know the real you because they don’t see you as date material.

Let’s talk about your outward appearance, which is what attracts a man in the first place. The first thing you should do is find a good stylist and get a great haircut. Sounds superficial? Sorry, just do it. A haircut that suits you can do more than anything to improve your appearance. Next go to the makeup counter in a department store, do a mini-makeover, and buy some products. I’m talking at least a modicum of eye makeup and some lip gloss. Accent your best facial features.

Look at your wardrobe. Anything that appears oversized, place it in the back of your closet for one month. Go to the store and buy some items that are slightly trendy, and get shoes to go with the clothes. If you don’t have a clue, ask the sales people to help you; it’s fun for them. By the way, I am a feminist who does not buy into the “beauty myth,” but consider this an experiment. (Do you want a date or not?) There is strength in looking your best, and it will give you the confidence boost that you need more than anything else. And smile, a friendly welcoming smile. That is the most attractive thing you can put on your face.

Be up front and tell your friends you are ready to meet some men. Be persistent, remind them - and, that goes for your male friends. Ask them if they know anybody to fix you up with. It might even put the idea into the head of one of your old buddies to ask you out. What about you suggesting a casual movie date to a new acquaintance, someone you meet at a party or work?

You like sports. Join a coed softball, volleyball, or kickball team. There is a lot of camaraderie on these teams, more men than women, and they tend to socialize after the games or on the weekends. Please do not wear baggy sweats.

And no more excuses about how an interest in cars and sports scares away guys. In reality, many men would love to share their interests with their girlfriends. That would definitely be a value added that you would bring to the relationship.

You sound like a very lovely young woman who does not deserve to be lonely. You will find someone who will be thrilled to have you in his life and in his arms. The challenge is to have men notice you, so that they can get to know the real you. As a librarian, I can attest that people do judge a book by its cover. I remind you that you are very young, and have plenty of time. So while you are waiting for your dating life to kick in, go to the library, check out a copy of Emma or Something Blue, make a cup of tea, and curl up on the couch.

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Do Tell: Your Craziest Bachelorette Party Story?

TresSugar — Fri, 08 May 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Bachelorette parties can be crazy - of course, that's sort of the point. With all the penis-shaped whistles, questionably named shots of liquor, and male strippers, it's hardly a shock when something shocking happens.

I once found myself at a bachelorette bash complete with a cake shaped like a naked man and decorated with a frozen banana. At the goading of her guests, the normally mild-mannered bride-to-be ended up - ahem - pleasuring the banana, which would have been funny, except that her mom was sitting right there. Things really got uncomfortable when someone let slip that the bachelorette and her future husband had been having sex since high school. Until that point, her mom had thought they'd waited until getting engaged. Awkward!

I'm sure you have an even better bachelorette story, so tell me: what's the craziest thing you've ever witnessed at a bachelorette party? (Sign out of your TeamSugar account to comment anonymously.)

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Does a Ring on That Finger Only Mean One Thing?

TresSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:06:33 -0700

Since I'm neither married nor engaged, I've never thought twice about wearing a ring on my left-hand ring finger, especially a big, chunky ring that's a far cry from a solitaire diamond. But a few weeks ago, I was at a party, and some dude spotted one of the big, chunky rings in question and asked, "Are you engaged?" I wanted to answer, "um, yeah . . . to a clown."

Wedding rings are super-traditional, but they are a handy way to tell if people are attached or not. However, until you're betrothed, I say wear any ol' ring you want. Do you agree, or do you prefer to leave that finger blank until it's loaded with something symbolic?

Awkward! Being Booted From a Bridal Party

TresSugar — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:02:10 -0700

Hey, it happened to me, and with all the high drama going on, I had no problem with it. I wasn't even booted as much as downgraded from maid of honor to bridesmaid. And, honestly, with an already-too-tight-dress, I didn't want to be anywhere closer to the center of attention. Having to be socially prim for one night made it hard enough to breathe; I was relieved to escape the responsibility.

The Sugar network is flush with engagements this week, but for those of us not getting a ring, we're likely to be asked to say "I do" to a whole lot of things, such as being a bridesmaid. Have you ever been asked to walk down the aisle only to get the boot? Or perhaps you've been demoted in the bridal party hierarchy? I imagine most of you wouldn't feel as good about getting booted from a bridal party as I did - so what would you do?

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