TresSugar

Do Tell: Who Would You Call If You Got Arrested?

DearSugar — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Though I’ve never had a particularly negative run-in with the law, I’ve often wondered who I would call were I ever thrown in the slammer. When I was younger, I was sure that I’d never call my parents, but as an adult, they do seem like the best people to phone if I were in a jam. Now, I know we’re all law-abiding citizens here, but hypothetically speaking, do tell: Who would you call if you were arrested?

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The How-To Lounge: Emergency Situations

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

It's scary to think about, but emergency situations do present themselves in our lives from time to time. And knowing how to handle them calmly and efficiently is extremely important and can even mean the difference between life and death. Though no one can guarantee how they’ll respond to a situation until they find themselves there, I’ve come up with a few tips should something arise. To see them just read more.

Don’t panic. (I know, I know; it’s an obvious suggestion that’s a lot easier said than done.) The sensation of panic is one of a physical nature - heart racing, sweaty palms, rapid breathing - but instead of focusing on your body like you might naturally be inclined to do, draw all your attention to the scene around you. Think first, and react later.
Once you’ve pulled yourself together, start listing off what needs to be done in order of urgency. Does someone need medical attention? If so, is it necessary to call 911 or can you just drive them to the hospital? Making a quick assessment will keep the chaos to a minimum and again, help you to avoid panicking.
Use teamwork. It’s likely that the people around you have experience you don’t, so pull all that knowledge together to come up with a solution.
On that note, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. The support of another person can really make a difference.
Make every effort to act as quickly as possible. While taking a few minutes to come up with a solution or plan is important, dilly-dallying over a serious decision is not an option. You’ll never have a right answer, so just make a choice and stick with it.
Remove the people who aren’t handling things well, even if that requires physically sending them away. They’ll only make the situation that much worse.

If you can manage to keep your cool, you might be surprised at how quickly a situation can change from emergency to managed.

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Dear Poll: Who's Your Guy in an Emergency?

DearSugar — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:01:00 -0800

No matter where you live in the world, natural disasters are always a possibility. Even if you know what to do in an emergency, chances are you'll be surprised or ill-prepared for the intensity of the situation.

So, if you were to be trapped somewhere, during a disaster, who would you want by your side? Someone who doesn't crack under pressure? Someone who's crafty and clever, or someone who can relieve the pressure with a little humor?

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The Dark Side of Cute

TresSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Kittens in casts. Babies nudged to laugh every five seconds. Stuffed teddy bears left at killing-spree sites. We are so surrounded by the tyranny of cute that even multibillion-dollar corporations have cute names like "Google" and "Twitter," and the uncute business of insurance is represented in ads by a cute lizard with an English accent. (And yes, I too am guilty of spreading cuteness.)

What's up with the cute? Writer Jim Windolf has had enough and decided to try to get to the bottom of what he calls the "self-infantalization" of Americans. His conclusion? There's a dark, manipulative side to cute. If you want to know what it is, read more.

In Daniel Harris's book Cute, Quaint, Hungry, and Romantic, he says that there's a hidden sadism to our love of cute, citing the barrage of images of cats falling, puppies slamming into mirrors, and even babies trapped in high chairs being prodded to laugh.

"The process of conveying cuteness to the viewer disempowers its objects," he writes, "forcing them into ridiculous situations and making them appear more ignorant and vulnerable than they really are. Adorable things are often most adorable in the middle of a pratfall or a blunder." In other words, they are cute insofar as they are helpless, and we, conferrers of cute, are all-powerful.

Becoming cute, conversely, is one way of disarming opponents or critics. It's not incidental, argues Windolf, that the cult of cute in the US emerged during the Bush years, when "the American image went from that of protector to invader, from defender of human rights to aggressor on the lookout for loopholes in the Geneva Conventions." Cuteness then, according to this theory, "came about as some sort of correction, as a way for us to convince ourselves and our friends that we're not as bad as our recent national actions have made us seem." (It reminds me of smiley emoticons at the end of passive-aggressive email messages and instant messages. In this case, American cute is like a ginormous cultural smiley face emoticon tacked on the end of dubious actions telling our allies we're not all that bad.)

Windolf traces American cute back to Japan's kawaii culture, which got huge 10 years ago but actually emerged at the end of WWII after it was "humiliated and emasculated." If you're interested in political and cultural psychoanalysis, I suggest reading this long essay. But whatever you do, remember - ~~sometimes a cigar is just a cigar~~ sometimes a cute kitten isn't just a cute kitten.

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The How-To Lounge: Deciphering an Abusive Relationship

DearSugar — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Throughout October, I will be bringing you very important information about domestic violence and how you can protect yourself and the people around you. As we all know, abuse does not belong in any relationship so if your friend or someone you know is in an unhealthy situation, or if you're noticing a change in a friend's behavior - she's feeling ashamed, hopeless, or frightened - be sure to check out my tips on how to help.

Click here to read more

If you think, but aren't sure that your friend is in an abusive relationship, start off by asking her these tough questions: Are you ever afraid of your partner? Has he ever threatened to harm you? Has he ever hit you? Forced you to have sex with him? Does he control you or purposely put you down? If she answers yes to any of these, her well-bring could be in danger.
If you are worried about her safety, do not hesitate to call the police.
To avoid a dangerous situation, advise your friend to seek a trusted confidant or spiritual advisor for advice. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is also a great recourse for general information and guidance, and they can help find a shelter in her area if she needs a safe place to stay. They are available to help 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
If your friend has to flee from an abusive relationship, make sure she has an emergency plan - a place to go, an escape route, and someone she can call.
She should also keep an emergency kit packed and easily accessible with the necessities: an ID, money, social security card, passport, an extra set of keys and any prescription medication.
If your friend's abuser does not live with her, she should immediately change her locks, install a security system and obtain a restraining order. If she has children, she needs to alert her kids' school and their friends' parents so they can be protected and kept out of harm's way.

Domestic abuse happens in every culture, affects every race and every religion, and it may be happening to someone you love as we speak. Be sure to educate yourself so you can not only be there for a friend in need, but know what to look for in your own relationships.

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Is it Possible to Be President and Not Lie to Americans?

CitizenSugar — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:00:39 -0700

Who's a liar, liar pants-on-fire? Neither candidate apparently, according to answers given to Katie Couric as part of her "Presidential Questions" series. Couric asked last night, "Describe a situation when you think it's appropriate to lie to the American people." Here's what the candidates had to say:

Obama said of his truthiness policy, "You can put together a hypothetical where there is a national security emergency that is imminent, and you don't want to provide, for example, the location of our troops. You don't have to lie in those situations, you simply say, 'we're not answering questions.' I don't think it's appropriate to lie." He goes on to say he wants to change the "fudging" and the soft lies culture in Washington. Do you think the above description counts in this category?

McCain says he can't think of any real or logical scenario where he would feel compelled to lie to the American people, and when probed on the national security hypothetical, he says, "But if you deceive the American people and you want their support and you want them to beat back this national security challenge and you don't tell them the truth about it, then I think they become disillusioned. That's happened in the past." Hmm. I wonder how far "past?" It sounds so familiar. . .

The segment did reveal one critical detail - to see what it is, read more.

The follow up question is about movies, and the candidates do have one crucial thing in common: their favorite movies both star Marlon Brando. Want to see Obama do a Marlon Brando impersonation? Check out 4:24.

Both candidates seemed firm on their respective "no fibbing" policies - but do you buy it? Do you think it's possible to be president and not stretch the truth?

US to Stop Terrorism With Working Professionals

LibertySugar — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 10:00:01 -0700

If you're an American engineer, city planner, law enforcement official, public health worker, economist, or judge, Uncle Sam wants YOU to move to dangerous and "failing" countries and help keep these places from completely collapsing into the death grips of eager terrorists.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has announced the Civilian Response Corps, a program Congress allotted $75 million in June. A response to September 11, the professional Peace Corps hopes to pro-actively prevent countries in turmoil from going to the dark side. The goal can also be described as hoping to avoid another post-invasion-Iraq disaster. The volunteers from the private sector and state and local governments will be trained to deploy rapidly (along with other federal employees) to countries in crisis or emerging from crisis in order to provide reconstruction and stabilization assistance.

Since the group will usually deploy with or after US troops, critics argue that the CRC is a thinly veiled plan for imperial expansion, or an effort to impose government institutions according to a model familiar, or friendly, to the US.

Arguments of nation-building can probably best be assessed in specific situations, so on the surface this plan sounds like a creative way to develop America's power beyond guns and bombs. What do you think?

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Italians Outraged Over Indifference to Drowned Girls' Bodies

CitizenSugar — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:00:54 -0700

Photographs published yesterday showing Italian sunbathers going about their sun soaking despite the nearby corpses of two drowned Roma children are causing a splash across all of Italy. The two girls, both younger than 15, drowned Saturday in strong currents despite rescue efforts, and the bodies were laid in the sun awaiting emergency services.

One of the ambulance drivers said, "we picked up the bodies amid total indifference." An Italian newspaper says, "while the lifeless bodies of the girls were still on the sand, there were those who carried on sunbathing or having lunch just a few meters away." Lunch.

The incident is a graphic pictorial display of tension between the ethnic Romas (also called Gypsies), and other locals. Recent crackdowns on the population, combined with the controversy surrounding the current census, has led to a visit by a European human rights group who heard of the plan to fingerprint all Roma, including children. Some have compared this idea (which is on hold for now) to the Nazi treatment of the Jews.

What's behind the tension? To find out, read more.

An estimated 150,000 Roma live in encampments on the edges of Italian cities. Though they're a distinct ethnic group with origins in northern India, just over 40 percent of modern Roma are legal Italians, possessing Italian passports. When Romania joined the EU last year, the population grew and questions regarding the new arrivals' lifestyle spark problems and hostility.

Many Italians are openly aggressive toward the population, accusing them of refusing to work in favor of stealing and shunning their seclusion in squalid, illegal camps. Pro-Roma critics say that Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has exploited anti-Roma feeling for political gain.

The situation Italy faces, depicted graphically in these photos, with the Roma sounds similar to other nations facing immigration struggles. Is there a Roma equivalent in most nations - do recent immigrants always face discrimination and exploitation? Or does behavior, rather than immigrant status, count more?

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Experts: Justified That Witnesses Didn't Stop Toddler's Murder

LibertySugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:00:44 -0700

Police and psychologists say that the inaction of those who witnessed a 27-year-old California man beat his 2-year-old son to death on the side of the road was justified. The savage incident in which the grocery store working father pulled over to stomp and beat the innocent boy occurred Saturday night. None of the people at the scene, including a volunteer firefighter, intervened to stop the fatal beating.

Experts say that violent emergencies can result in shock, and thus inaction, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. Witnesses say they called 911 immediately but were afraid to physically stop the man, as they did not know if he had a weapon on him. The father only stopped after police and a helicopter intervened, shooting him to death. According to experts, the witnesses lacked the experience to respond with force.

The violent nature of this tragedy sort of helps me differentiate it from the video of bystanders failing to help an elderly man who was hit by a car and left in the street. Maybe human instinct prevents us from acting how we wish we could in shocking circumstances.

Can you wish the witnesses did something to stop him, without judging them for their inability to do so? Can anyone know how one would act if confronted with this horrific situation?

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Wounded Soldiers' Barracks Located Right in the Line of Fire

CitizenSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 08:00:58 -0700

At Fort Benning, GA, recovering soldiers housed in the newly constructed "warrior transition" barracks have an additional challenge piercing recovery. Many of the soldiers suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the real estate adage about location applies here in full force - the recovery barracks are situated 200 yards from one of the Army infantry's main firing ranges.

Gun fire hails morning and night, hampering recovery for those afflicted. One such soldier who spent a year with an infantry platoon in Iraq and emerged with a diagnosis of PTSD said, "You hear a lot of shots, it puts you in a defensive mode. My heart starts racing and I get all excited and irritable [it] puts me back in that mind frame that I am actually there." Another said, "it makes me crazy. It makes me jump and I get flashbacks." To see what the Army says, read more.

The Army defends the positioning of the housing as convenient to amenities like the hospital, and maintains that if a soldier had a severe problem with the proximity, they would know. The commander of the Warrior Transition Battalion (an excellent name) said, "No soldier has talked with me about the ranges," noting that if it's an issue, "we will address it."

About 175 soldiers live in the gunfire-adjacent barracks, and 10 to 15 percent of them have PTSD. The total number who receive diagnoses of chronic PTSD rose by nearly 50 percent last year. One psychologist who treats veterans with PTSD says of the neighbors, "charitably put, it's very untherapeutic."

Is this a problem that should be addressed? What more could we be doing to ease a soldier's return from battle?

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