TresSugar

Dear Poll: Are You Prone to Drunk Dialing?

DearSugar — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:00:00 -0700

When you're crushing on someone, sometimes a little liquid courage is all you need to get things moving in the right direction. But when you reach for the phone after having a few too many, that momentary fearlessness could easily lead to total humiliation the next day. Nowadays we not only have to worry about drunk dialing, but we also need to keep drunk texting and drunk emailing in mind, which could do even more embarrassing damage than a simple missed call.

So even if you didn't fall victim to drunk dialing this weekend, tell me, are you prone to it?

Source

Do Tell: What Was Your Most Embarrassing Holiday Party Experience?

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

A few days ago I gave you some suggestions on what to remember when attending a holiday party and your comments made me realize that some of you have experienced a few party disasters in your time! The stress of the holiday season, combined with alcohol, can make for a pretty interesting night on the town so ladies, do tell, what was your most embarrassing experience while drinking eggnog under the mistletoe?

Do Tell: What Are Your Embarrassing Birth Control Stories?

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 09:00:00 -0700

If you have sex, you have to deal with birth control. It may not be the funnest part about being sexual, but it's definitely necessary if you want to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of STIs. You've got to have talks with your partner about it, you have to go to the gynecologist or pharmacy to get birth control, and then of course you have to master how to use it.

So during that trial and error period, do you have any embarrassing stories? Maybe your mom found condoms in your purse or perhaps your NuvaRing popped out during sex. Whatever happened may have been traumatic at that moment, but I'm sure you're laughing about it now (at least I hope you are!). Since it's happened to the best of us, do tell ladies, what is your most embarrassing birth control story?

Source

Do Tell: What's Your Most Embarrassing Walk of Shame Story?

TresSugar — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:30:00 -0700

Apparently, the "walk of shame" wasn't as shameful in the '70s, back when they sold special pantsuits for the occasion. But nowadays, we women aren't quite as enthused to drag ourselves home in the harsh light of day still dressed up for a night out. But don't worry: there's a kit for that.

I had a friend in college who dressed up as a Catholic school girl for Halloween, stayed over at a guy's place, and had to walk home in her skirt and knee socks the next morning. What's the most embarrassing walk home you've had from a previous night's hookup? Were you wearing a ridiculous getup or did you run into someone you'd rather not run into? Share your best stories below - and don't forget to log out if you want to comment anonymously.

Awkward! How Do I Tell My Friend We're Too Close?

TresSugar — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario requiring your advice. (Have some awkward tales of your own? Join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

"I think my friend and I are too close. We have been friends since we were really young and we also walk really close to each other and shove each other jokingly. It was fine when we were little but now that I'm getting older it makes me uncomfortable. If I talk to her straight on about it our friendship would become extremely uncomfortable and I'd get embarrassed around her. I don't think I'm willing to do that to our relationship."

http://www.racialicious.com/2009/06/03/new-words-for-mixed-race-people-of-colour-with-or-without-white-ancestry/

Hump Day: My Boyfriend Is a One-Minute Man

TresSugar — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"My boyfriend has premature ejaculation problems, and it's a little frustrating for me. As far as I know, he doesn't have any health problems. Is this psychological? Can I help him fix this?" To hear Dr. Glickman's response, read more

One of the challenges when talking about premature ejaculation is coming up with a common definition for it. Masters & Johnson defined it as when a man ejaculates before his (female) partner at least half of the time. Others have tried to define it as when he orgasms within two minutes of starting to have intercourse. That kind of definition works better in some ways, especially since many women don’t orgasm from intercourse. Ultimately, the “problem” of premature ejaculation rests on whether it causes concern for either person and since you’ve said that you’re finding it frustrating, that’s good enough for me.

There are a lot of potential causes of premature ejaculation, from the physical to the psychological. It can be caused by anxiety and stress, hormonal imbalances, prostate health issues, and relationship difficulties. With all of these possible reasons, some of which need a medical exam to detect, there’s no way for me to tell you what’s causing it for him. Having said that, there are some tips that I can offer you. Bear in mind that these assume that there aren’t any medical factors complicating the situation.

First off, anxiety is a common cause of both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Unfortunately, worrying about whether it’ll happen can make it happen, creating a self-fulfilling prediction. One of the best ways to address that is to widen your definition of what you consider sex and pleasure to be. If you can let go of the focus on intercourse and enjoy the buffet of sexual options, the worry tends to decrease. It can be really helpful to talk about how you might make that happen when you’re not having sex or just afterwards. If he’s feeling embarrassed about the situation, it’s probably going to be a lot easier to have the conversation when the clothes are still on.

Another factor that can influence when a guy ejaculates is what position he’s in. For many men, being on top seems to make him orgasm more quickly, while lying back and being straddled can make things last longer. While I’m not aware of any actual research on this, I’ve heard stories from enough men to suggest that you give it a try and see what happens.

Still another reason that some men ejaculate more quickly than they or their partners might like is that they don’t know how to work with their sexual energy. Modern tantra and other similar practices offer many men a lot of useful tools and tips for lasting longer. While this approach might not be everyone’s cup of tea, I think it’s worth looking into. Check out Mantak Chia’s book The Multi-Orgasmic Man for a really interesting and easy-to-read take on this. He also has a book for women and one for couples.

Also, some men report that one of the best ways to last longer is to be on the receiving end of a little more foreplay. Actually, I dislike the word “foreplay” since it implies that everything else is just a lead-up to “real sex.” But leaving that aside, many of us are familiar with the idea that lots of women prefer/enjoy/need some warm-up before intercourse. What you might not know is that a slower approach can be a great thing for lots of guys, too. Men’s sexual arousal isn’t just about getting an erection; ramping up can increase how much sexual energy he can maintain. Or to put it another way, just because some guys can hit the ground running doesn’t change the fact that a little warm-up makes it a lot easier. So try extending how much time you give oral sex, hand-jobs, kissing, whatever. It can help him relax and increase his arousal, both of which reduce anxiety and can make it easier for him to last longer.

To get to the last question that you ask, there are some things you can do to help him but he needs to be willing to deal with this situation in the first place. A lot of men feel ashamed of early ejaculation, even though a lot of men experience it, at least sometimes. One of the best things you can do is to talk about it with him at a time when you’re not having sex. Right after it happens is probably not ideal since he’s having whatever feelings this brings up for him. And yes, men have feelings, even when (or especially when) they don’t know how to show them!

Al Franken Sends Love Letter to Wife - and to Constituents

TresSugar — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:00:00 -0700

This past Saturday was the 40th anniversary of the night Al Franken met his wife Franni. Did he send her a box of chocolates and take her out to dinner? I hope so - but the Senator from Minnesota went one better. He sent an email to his supporters honoring the occasion, describing how he met Franni, and saying that he wouldn't be where he is today without her. Here's an excerpt:

"That night - the first night of the best thing that has ever happened to me - was exactly 40 years ago today. When I was running for the Senate, I used to tell people, 'Franni and I are running for the Senate. If we win, I get to be the Senator.' Well, we won. And what I said proved true - I get to be the Senator. Another thing that’s true is that I wouldn’t be where I am today without the love and support of the most amazing woman in the world."

He ended this message by asking his readers to "take a moment today, remember a funny story about someone you love, smile, and be thankful." All together now . . . awwww! I wonder if Franni is embarrassed.

Website du Jour: When Love Breaks Down

TresSugar — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 02:00:00 -0700

"Before there were blogs, there were zines," writes the blogger behind When Love Breaks Down, a bitter but hilarious breakup blog with a twist. The breakup happened more than 10 years ago, and the blog is based on pages ripped from a zine the writer published back in 1998.

Each post features a page from the zine in all its cringe-inducing glory, complete with modern-day commentary, like this annotation on the entry above:

I really thought once you had a kid, you would grow up. Or at least have a conversation about leaving your family, at least a conversation, before you just up and do it. Before you just cheat and leave. I mean, that’s Lifetime movie plot, not real life.

Zines were totally the blogs of the 1990s; everyone was doing it! To learn more about the back story, keep reading.

Bad For Women? Online Name-Calling and Lawsuits

TresSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:30:00 -0700

This is one of the most childish stories I've read in a while.

Rosemary Port, who used to blog anonymously for "Skanks in NYC," riled up a fellow fashionista, model Liskula Cohen, by calling her an "old hag," a "ho," a "skank," and a "lying psychotic whore." (You can't say Port doesn't know how to hurl insults!)

Why is there bad blood between the women? They hang out in the same fashion circles - Port is a Fashion Institute of Technology student, Liskula a model - and apparently Liskula badmouthed Port to an ex-boyfriend once. (How old are these people, you ask? Port is 29 and Liskula is 37.)

Cohen claims the site hurt her reputation and pressured Google to reveal the "Skanks in NYC" writer. (Now, Port is suing Google for $15 million for invasion of privacy.) "By going to the press," says Port, "she defamed herself. Before her suit, there were probably two hits on my Web site: One from me looking at it, and one from her looking at it."

I'm pretty embarrassed for both of them and order a time out during which they both should retreat to a corner and sit until they can behave. What do you think - are these two too old for this nonsense?

Stranger Than Fiction! Teacher Sends Kids Home With Sex Tape

TresSugar — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0700

We've discussed the pros and cons of filming yourself having sex, but here's a story to add to the list of reasons to never make a sex tape: a 29-year-old teacher in California accidentally sent her own sex tape home with all her fifth grade students on the last day of school!

The DVD was supposed to commemorate this past school year, but instead the students got a bonus sex-ed session. The embarrassed teacher called each household and asked the parents to throw away the DVD.

Just goes to show: you never know who could get their (little) hands on your sex tape!