TresSugar

Dear Poll: Which Type of Date Takes the Cake?

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Sometimes the best date is the one least expected, like when you meet an amazing guy and spend the entire night gallivanting through the streets. Then again, there’s nothing like your possible future beau planning a wonderful evening down to the smallest detail just to impress you. OK, I’ve never experienced either of these dream dates, but I'd have to go with the totally spontaneous date as my pick. What about you?

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Do Tell: Your Dream Date

DearSugar — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:30:00 -0700

You all have had some pretty funny dating disasters, but in retrospect, weren't all those terrible nights out worth it so you could swap and share horror stories with your girlfriends? Typically, the guy plans the first date, but if you took the reins, do tell, what would your dream date entail?

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Do Tell: What's Your Dream Date Night?

TresSugar — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Couples who have been together for a while might find themselves penciling in a regular "date night." Eating at a favorite restaurant or heading to the nearby movie theater are usual favorites for those who try to carve out couple-time from their busy schedules.

A recent study based on brain science revealed that keeping a dating schedule might not be enough to stop a slow decline in romantic love. Couples need to do new things together. Using date night to take a cooking class, dine at a new restaurant, or see a special performance that's come to town, might be the perfect way to bring back butterflies!

Would you rather try something new, or have you found the perfect romance routine? What does your dream date night look like?

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10 Movie Characters We'd Like to Date

TresSugar — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

A few weeks ago, I asked you all which movie characters you consider to be potential dream men: the fictional guys whose looks and charm would make them totally dateable, if only they actually existed. Your answers were spot-on, but now I'm pining for a bunch of make-believe men. Here are the 10 movie characters we'd most like to date.

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Do Tell: What Movie Character Is Your Dream Man?

TresSugar — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:00:21 -0700

Westley in The Princess Bride. Blane in Pretty in Pink. Edward Cullen from Twilight, if you're into the whole vampire thing. And of course, Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything, the fictional character who inspired this postcard.

The movies are full of fictional men I'd love to date or just spend an evening with (hello, "blouse man" from A Walk on the Moon!). Sure, they don't exist in real life, but a girl can dream, right? So tell me, which fictional movie character - the character, not the actor - would you most want to date? Or marry? Or have a fling with?

Vampire Falls: From Horror Tale to Love Story

TresSugar — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0700

What kind of vampire wanders about in daylight, sports no fangs, and politely declines glasses of lukewarm blood? The most popular one in the world! Edward Cullen, played by our favorite floppy-haired boy du jour Robert Pattinson.

For a genre born out of the dark side, it's become awfully lighthearted. So much that Slate article "Vampires Suck" warns we're setting boys and girls up for two very different first dates. While girls dream about Edward "let's-save-ourselves-for-marriage-even-though-I'm-90" Cullen, boys are online watching porn, expecting sex on the first date and a threesome by the third.

I say that might be going a touch far, since we're pretty sure teenage girls aren't living in Twilight-encrusted vacuums . . . well, we're mostly sure! But the concern does raise another pressing question: when did this blood-sucking villain go soft?

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Women Can Be More Choosy With Dates Than Men

TresSugar — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 01:00:00 -0700

Single women, I have good news and bad news for you. The good news: there's less competition in the dating pool for the man of your dreams than you probably thought. The bad? There's more choices for them since men are more likely to prefer one type of woman. A thin, seductive type.

Researchers at Wake Forest University classified photos of men and women, ages 18-25, as seductive, confident, thin, sensitive, stylish, curvaceous (women), muscular (men), traditional, masculine/feminine, classy, well-groomed, or upbeat in appearance. A subjective method for sure, but it was necessary to identify the common characteristics that appealed to men and women.

Overall, women showed a small preference for thin, muscular men; however, many women rated those same men as extremely unattractive. There was a great disparity among what women found attractive and unattractive. Men were much more consistent, choosing candidates who were classified as thin, seductive, and confident.

So if you have a type, know there are fewer women vying for him than you probably think. The downside, of course, is that men are more tunnel-visioned when it comes to women, adding another drop in the bucket of reasons women feel the need to conform to a societal standard of beauty. Oh, well. Maybe next study!

Photo by Flickr User BostonBill

You Asked: Why Am I So Suspicious?

DearSugar — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. For the past two months I have had dreams of catching him cheating on me and it's driving me to snoop on him. I look in his email, his Facebook account, and phone whenever I get a chance. But there's no reason for me to do this; I know he would never cheat on me. Honestly it is the most amazing relationship I could ever ask for. So what's wrong with me? Why do I keep dreaming these horrible things? Am I losing my mind? - Mistrustful Megan

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Mistrustful Megan,

The expression of insecurities through dreams is no new thing, but avoid taking your dreams at face value. I'd guess that this dream is an indication of things you might have on your mind regarding the future of your relationship or your own personal stresses. The image of catching your boyfriend cheating is only a manifestation of these other concerns. It's normal for a vivid dream to leave you feeling uneasy, but there's no excuse for continually checking up on your boyfriend, especially without reason. He has a right to his privacy, and you're violating it. Plus, the more you play into this paranoia, the more likely it is to keep showing up in your dreams.

Start writing in a journal and see if you can't let some of your insecurities escape more consciously. You can write down your dreams too and see if you notice a pattern. I'm sure they will subside on their own soon, but in the meantime, try to examine your relationship and see if there's something that may have you feeling worried. But whatever you do, try not to let your dreams affect your waking life so deeply.

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Group Therapy: Torn Between the Future and Now

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I'm 21 and have been dating my boyfriend for four years. Our families know each other and know that we're serious about our relationship. His family is traditional and conservative so they hope that we take things slow until we're married. Although it's against our faith, we do have premarital relations, and I found it to be justifying that we do plan to get married - we're not just sleeping around. From my parents' divorce, I know not to marry young and that things don't always go as planned. My friends and family know that I am very serious about my education and know that nothing will stop me from finishing with my Masters degree, even marriage. I dream about my future with my boyfriend and see it to be attainable, and that notion keeps me motivated in school and smarter with my time and finances.

Very recently, however, my boyfriend told me that I'm too much of a dreamer and I need a hit of reality, especially when it comes to our future. But I think I'm grounded with dreams that keep me motivated. Now I'm torn between my beliefs, our conservative families, his bubble bursting comments, and my dream-driven goals. Can I still be grounded with dreams of a wedding, husband, and family? Is it wrong to keep these dreams? And if I do keep them, do I keep them to myself to prevent them from being shot down?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]
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You Asked: We Have Different Dreams

DearSugar — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months and things are starting to get serious. We've moved in together and are happy that we did. She's finishing her degree in a month and is thinking of joining the armed forces so she can travel around the world - she wants me to go with her. It's always been her dream to go abroad and try out new places but I, on the other hand, am content with my life here and moving to a new place is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. I don't want her to give up her dream for me, but she doesn't want to leave without me. What should I do? - Rock and a Hard Place Richard

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Rock and a Hard Place Richard,

This is certainly a tough position to be in, but if picking up and leaving to travel the world isn't something you're interested in, don't do it. If your girlfriend says she won't leave without you, that's her decision to make. The thing that makes this situation so tricky is that resentment could easily rear its ugly head for both of you. If she puts you before her dream, she could hold you responsible, but if you leave your life to follow a dream that you can't relate to, you could in turn resent her for making you walk away from your life as you knew it.

You're talking about a major life decision here, so be sure to talk to your girlfriend about all your options. It's important for each of you to follow your dreams, so if you're not on the same page, hopefully you work together to come to a happy meeting place. Good luck and remember communication is key!

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