TresSugar

Awkward! Destination Wedding Invitee Wants to Invite Friend

TresSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:30:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario for you that she needs you to weigh in on.

"I have been invited to a destination wedding in Mexico. The bride has graciously invited me plus a guest. The problem is that I am not currently dating anyone and I am not really comfortable inviting any of my male friends. I may know some of the other guests, as I went to college with the bride, but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't. While I'm not opposed to traveling alone, I feel the whole trip would be more enjoyable if I had someone with me. Can I bring a platonic girlfriend to the wedding or is that misusing the privilege of being invited with a guest? Is it appropriate to ask the bride?"

Source: IMDB

DearSugar Needs Your Help: My Sisters Are Unsupportive

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

DearSugar and Feeling Alone Faith need your help. She's planning her dream wedding, and her sisters are too jealous to support her. She's feeling terribly alone during this happy time in her life and doesn't know how to make things better. Do you have any tips for her?
Dear Sugar,

I'm having a destination wedding soon, and while I'm extremely excited, I'm also upset and let down. To make a long story short, I have two very jealous, very self-centered sisters. My one sister thinks that the sun rises and falls with her, and she is a self-proclaimed "princess." My other sister is jealous too and I've never trusted her.

I helped both of my sisters immensely during their wedding planning, but now that it's my turn, they can't be bothered. They've even decided not to come. Instead of supporting me, all they do is sit around and talk badly about me. Sometimes my mother calls and tells me the hurtful things they are saying and it breaks my heart. For the first time in my life I'm in a good relationship and am incredibly happy, but they are too begrudging to be a part of it. I am a single mom who has struggled my entire life up until meeting my fiance, and it seems like the better I do personally, the less family support I have.

I don't want their behavior to overshadow my special day, so how do I deal with my sisters who feel too threatened to come to my wedding? And, what type of relationship should I expect to have with them after the wedding? My friends say I should be happy they are not coming, but they are my family and I'm incredibly hurt. - Feeling Alone Faith

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Dear Sugar Needs Your Help: Do We Have to Go to This Destination Wedding?

DearSugar — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar and Not Into it Isabelle need your help. Is she obligated to go to this outrageously expensive destination wedding?

Dear Sugar,

Recently my fiancé got in touch with a childhood friend. In the three and a half years I've known him, I never once heard him mention this guy. Well it turns out this friend is getting married in a year, three weeks after us. It's a destination wedding to Jamaica, and it will probably be at least $2,500 for the both of us!

I'm all for weddings, but I feel really awkward about going to this one, for many reasons. I've never met the guy so how close can they be? Also, this wedding is going to be really small and intimate, so I would feel really uncomfortable sharing this special day when I've never even met any of these people. Plus we're taking two weeks off for our wedding and honeymoon, so how can I take another week off three weeks later? We're also trying to save for a house, and $2,500 is a lot of money to spend for a couple I don't even know!

What do you think? Should I quit being such a stick in the mud and agree to go and make a vacation out of it? Or should I put my foot down and tell my fiancé that it's just not in our budget?

-Not Into it Isabelle

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Do Tell: Where Would You Hold a Destination Wedding?

TresSugar — Tue, 19 May 2009 09:00:00 -0700

I'm heading to Paris later this year to be a bridesmaid in my good friend's wedding. Anywhere they chose was bound to be a faraway destination for many guests, considering she's from Chicago, her fiancé is from Australia, and they live together in England. They chose Paris for the wedding, since they got engaged there, and well, it's très romantique!

While a destination wedding can be inconvenient for guests, and extra planning for the bride and groom, it's also a great way to mix your wedding celebration with travel. Since it's hard to get hundreds of people to attend, a destination wedding can also be more intimate than traditional hometown weddings.

If you were going to organize a destination wedding, where would it be?

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Group Therapy: How much is too much for guests to pay to attend a destination wedding?

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:00:00 -0700

I am in a destination wedding this summer. My partner and I are going, and it is costing us over 1100 for airfare and the rooms are 800 per night (all inclusive). I tried to look at this as a vacation, but the more I think about it the more I know I would never choose this location as a vacation spot and am not excited about where it is and what we are spending the money on. Yes, I am excited my friend is getting married (not her first wedding), but I am not excited about the high expense. Do we still spend money on a gift? What about the added expense of helping throw her a bachelorette party/girls night since I am a BM? How much $ is too much? Am I being completely irrational? Please tell me your thoughts on this.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

You Asked: Am I Being Bridezilla?

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I recently got engaged, and my fiancé and I are planning a small destination wedding. We both come from fairly large families and them alone is already 50 guests, which leaves very little room for friends.

I am curious to see what the general opinion is about having a small destination wedding (50 or so) and then having another party, say in my hometown, where all of our family, friends, and extended family could attend. I know a destination wedding might be too pricey for some of our guests so I want to be able to accommodate everyone. I know etiquette dictates that if you invite someone to an engagement party or shower you should also invite them to the wedding, but is asking certain guests to attend one wedding and not the other in poor taste? And is asking other guests to attend both selfish? I don't want to be looked at as a Bridezilla! - Planning My Wedding Miranda

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Planning My Wedding Miranda,

There are millions of etiquette books out there that dictate all sorts of rules about weddings, but when it comes down to it, your wedding day is all about how you and your fiancé want to celebrate your love. If you wish to have a destination wedding (perhaps it'd be best if you only invited immediate family) and then have a larger party for those guests that couldn't travel with you, by all means do it! If you have some overlapping guests, be mindful that they might not be able to commit to both celebrations. If that's the case, don't take the decision of those who decline personally.

Of course no one aims to be a Bridezilla, so just be mindful of your big day: remember that it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Though your wedding will no doubt be one of the most memorable days of your life, if you keep everything in perspective, I'm sure you'll be an even-keeled bride! Good luck to you.

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It's Just Like Voting! Take the CitizenSugar Reader Survey

CitizenSugar — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:46:26 -0800

To those of you who've completed the CitizenSugar survey, thanks so much for taking the time to share your likes and dislikes. And to those of you who haven't had a spare moment, or are hearing about the survey for the first time - we'd love to hear from you!

Your survey will help us make CitizenSugar an even more enjoyable and informative destination to fill you news junkie cravings! If you have few minutes, we'd love to get to know a little more about you. Click here to begin the survey! Thanks for your feedback!

The How-To Lounge: Save the Date Etiquette

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Now that you're engaged, it's time to spread the word! Since wedding venues book up so quickly during wedding season, it's time to get planning. First things first - pick your date and secure your location. Once that's checked off your list, you'll need to alert your friends and family of your special day by sending a save the date. There's no right or wrong way to send a save the date, but there are some key points to remember.

Click here to read more.

Before you send the save the date, hammer out your guest list. There's no turning back after someone has been invited, so be certain that you won't be making any adjustments to your list.
Regardless of the size of your wedding, save the dates should be sent out 6-12 months prior to your wedding day. If you're having a destination wedding, the sooner you send them out the better.
Save the dates are meant to be much less formal than the wedding invitations, but they should be informative. Include your names, the date, time, and location. Some feel the save the date should match the wedding invitation, but that is completely discretionary so if you want to have fun with it, go for it!
If you're having a destination wedding, the save the dates should be much more revealing. Include hotel and airline information including phone numbers and any special rates or packages if applicable, rental car companies, a schedule of events (so guests know how long to book their travel), and the location of your wedding site.
If your guests are invited with a date, be sure to address the envelope properly so they can save the date, too.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

As I slammed down the phone I could feel my face flush with pure anger I can't believe she had the nerve to set her wedding date on the same day as mine! If I had the nerve I would've knocked her out! I could feel the tears coming so I took a few deep breaths and said my social security number backwards. I had to focus on work right now. So I turned to my computer, opened my e-mail, and saw a message from my boss. She said, "I know that this is short notice, but I need to see you in my office ASAP. There are several things that we need to discuss."

I grabbed my yellow legal pad and blue pen, and went in to her office. Why was I sweating profusely all of a sudden? "Please close the door," she said. I sat down in the chair across from her desk. What I wouldn't give for this view, I thought. "What's up?" I said casually?

"Emily," my boss said looking me straight in the eyes, "you have been doing such an amazing job lately that we have decided to give you a promotion! Congratulations!" "Really?" I said, "That's great, but, uh, isn't that job stationed in London?" "yes," my boss said "is that a problem?" "Of course not. It's amazing. Thank you." Emily said but what she was really thinking was, "A destination wedding in London will top them all, especially hers."

I went on the Evite website and did a mass invite to my wedding explaining that I would be sending the real invitations later. Perhaps if I got mine out before her more people would go to mine. In the midst of my anger, I even sent one out to her. The next day I got a call from her. "Hi Emily," she said, with so much fake sweetness it could give you diabetes. "Just got your evite, sweetie. 'Course I can't come, you know... Jared and I are so busy with wedding planning and all that. Can't wait till our honeymoon in Milan... Jarad rented out an entire villa! Did he ever take you to a villa, Emily, hmm?" Emily cringed, thinking back to the days of her and Jarad's tumultuous relationship if she only knew what we did before they got engaged. I wish I could just rub it in her face how he thinks I am a better lover than she is. The ignited passion between us that stemmed from the mutual contempt we had towards each other. I guess what they say is true: there's a thin line between love and hate. "Haha, no he never took me to a villa, but we had a most amazingly hot weekend together in Paris, Dans le Ritz" I said, using my most excellent french accent. "In fact, it was him not me who ended up begging for more. Anyways, Matt is a much more generous lover and our wedding is taking place in London..."

I tried not to smile but it was all too true. I could hear her breathing, she was angry. I could tell things were going to get competitive and ugly. It was going to be a battle of the weddings. I was almost ashamed of myself for being this determined to make my wedding better! Besides, she had no idea that I had already hired her sister, who was a personal trainer, to help me look and feel amazing on my wedding day. Which reminds me, I have to go meet her soon to discuss my pre-wedding workout program plan. "Listen hun, I actually have to run. Gotta look super skinny for the wedding," she said. "Yeah you could lose a pound or two or ten," I said as b*tchy as I could before she hung up. I then began thinking to myself about the weight I have been gaining lately. I have been trying to lose weight, and unable to. I have already cancelled four of my morning classes due to feeling sick. Wait could I...no...I can't be pregnant can I? I better not be! I can't have my fabulous London wedding looking like a blimp! Amanda would surely love to see my wedding fail and all the rumors she'll spread! Oh dear god. hopefully it's just pre-wedding weight due to the stress of planning this.

I can't handle the fact that my future mother-in-law is wanting me to wear her old wedding dress! It's the most hideous dress ever and probably won't even fit me since his mother is larger. What am I going to do I thought to myself. Problems are already arising out of nowhere. I took a breath, laid down on my bed, and completely passed out! I awoke to the intoxicating smell of my fiancee cooking dinner. I couldn't shake the dream I just had, well, if you could call it a dream, more like a sleep panic attack. Flashes of me, in a hideous wedding gown, half of my guests not showing because London is crazy far, and my 'friend' laughing her holier than thou ass off at my misguided attempt at being 'better'. I got up and tipped toed over to the kitchen. I wanted to catch of glimpse of my fiance cooking without him knowing I was watching. I couldn't control my laughter as I saw him dancing around the kitchen to a popular Michael Jackson song. It was in that moment that everything came together -- he is definitely the love of my life. How could I ever doubt that he was the one for me. When he proposed I took a week to give him an answer. He proposed over cell phone while he was on tour. I didn't think he was serious at first. I told him I need a ring and a bended knee and he had the nerve to say I wasn't special enough! Luckily he was joking. God, how amazing will our life be together? After he noticed I was watching he laughed and motioned for me to sit at the table.

After eating, I told him about London. He was ecstatic! But I had to make sure of one thing: I wasn't pregnant. I told my love I was going out to Walgreen's and would be right back. I didn't want to alarm him. When I got back, before I could get the door fully shut I dashed into the bathroom. After 15 minutes of waiting the test read... Pregnant. OMG I AM PREGNANT. Well, maybe now by the time of the wedding, I will have to wear my mother-in-laws dress after all. I decided to tell Matt right then and there. I stormed out of the bathroom and up to Matt.

"What's wrong luv?" "I'm pregnant." He looked at me and just stared. Literally, just stared! I don't think he even blinked!!! "Well?" I asked. Then Matt said,"Well if its a girl I've always been partial to the name Chauntelle, and if it's a boy Liam." I couldn't believe it!!! "What about your band?" I asked. "I can be a rock star Dad." Matt then dashed off to write a song about the baby. I couldn't believe it! A man not freaking out over becoming a Dad so young? He came out of his studio room an hour later. He had wrote a song called Baby Wedding. I screamed out of frustration. This can't be right, those stupid sticks always can make mistakes so I'll just go to the doctor! I told Matt, and grabbed the car keys.

I rushed to the doctors and took the test and awaited my results. As I flipped through a magazine, well none other then Amanda walks in, pale as a ghost! She didn't see me, and made her way to the desk, where the secretary whispered. "Oh my God, is she pregnant too?" I thought to myself. "NOOOO" Emily screamed. "I can't be pregnant, I'm a bride to be!!" She glanced over and saw me staring. I was trying not to laugh. Then my results were in... "Negative"

YESSSSSSSS!!! Amanda's jaw dropped and I left her like that.

Fast Forward 7 months later.

The weddings of Emily and Amanda was next week. After Emily's pregnancy scare and Amanda's miscarriage, they realized it they are so alike and they should have a joint wedding. Everyone was looking forward to it, however no one expected cousin Billy Bob to show up with his new male partner. Who knew that he was gay???

Emily glanced up and down the hallway of the chapel and pulled her head back into the dressing room. Why had she agreed to wear matching dresses? That was a seriously emotional decision. Regrettably, she puffed the skirt as she stared in the mirror she was sharing with Amanda. Thankfully they had at least opted for separate hairstyles. Emily's was red and pulled up half way and had a feeling of summer about it, while Amanda had her blond hair pulled into a chic chignon. They looked at each other and opened their mouths to speak. Embarrassed, Emily conceded, "You first" "It looks better on you," Emily snorted, suddenly bursting into tears while pulling a bottle of mace from her Lulu Guinness pink leather purse. Amanda screamed and ran behind the mirror. Peeking out she saw Emily poised and ready to attack. "Are you serious? I mean are you actually seriously pointing MACE at me?" She barked. "No," Amanda replied cooly "I'm just...going to... I can't do this! i can't marry Jared! I am in love with Matt, yes, YOUR Matt, he belongs to me!" "He does not! He's mine!" Emily grabbed at Amanda's perfect chignon and yanked it out. "I knew I couldn't trust you!" She gave her a hard shove then another one until she was backed up against a wall. " I knew I couldn't trust you the moment I met you when you..." *BAM!* a loud noise was heard outside their dressing room's door. Amanda and Emily stopped what they were doing and stared at each other in shock.

Jared and Mat walked into the room, Matt grabbed Emily and said, let's get the hell out of here, your friend Emily is a whack job, I have a car waiting outside, we are eloping, I can't wait anymore to be your husband, I love you I love you I love you!

Emily, grinning ear to ear, basically left tracks not even thinking about the fact that she won after all!

You Asked: We're Engaged But Where Should We Get Married?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm recently engaged (yay!), and my fiance and I are currently planning our wedding. We met in college and moved to a city where neither one of us has family. We've since made a ton of friends and feel that we have found our new home. Although we love where we live, we've both always dreamed about having a destination wedding. I know attending weddings is expensive, but since we don't have family where we live, most everyone will have to travel no matter where we get married since we don't want to do it in either one of our hometowns. I know this is our personal decision to make, but I wanted to see if you had any pointers. - Engaged Emily

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Engaged Emily,

Since you're the ones getting married, the location is ultimately up to you and your fiance; however, the farther you ask people to travel, the smaller the turnout will most probably be. Like you said, attending weddings is incredibly expensive, so if you want everyone on your list to attend, I advise you to pick a venue close to where most of your guests live. If you don't care how big your wedding is, by all means shoot for the stars!

I've been to my fair share of destination weddings and they've all been a blast, but I felt the financial hangover for months. If you do go that route, most hotels offer discounted rates if you block off a certain number of rooms. I would also recommend sending out your save the date notices, along with travel information (phone numbers, hotel options, rental car options, and flight options) as soon as you have the date set. The farther in advance your guests can reserve, the cheaper it will be.

Your wedding day is your special day to share with your loved ones, so even though you want to be accommodating to everyone, you need to do what you've always wanted. With that said, keep in mind that you will have some people decline your invitation, so keep a thick skin and realize that this may not necessarily be about you, but more about their pocketbooks.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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