TresSugar

Five Common Causes For Late Periods

DearSugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

A late period is one of the scariest experiences if you're not planning on being a mom anytime soon. It's actually pretty normal for women's periods to be delayed for several reasons, and you shouldn't just assume it's because you're pregnant. Here are a few to keep in mind.

Your cycle might be irregular from month to month. This means that last month your cycle might have been 24 days long, and this month it could be 32 days long. When your period doesn't show up when it's expected, it could be because your body hasn't finished its cycle yet.
Stress caused you to ovulate later than usual. Your body releases an egg from your ovary with the intention of becoming pregnant and if you were worried or upset about something at that specific time, your body will wait until it feels you are emotionally ready. That means you could ovulate up to a week or more later than usual or you could even skip your period altogether.
You are sick or injured. If your body is not well, then you aren't equipped to handle a pregnancy. Your body will ovulate when it feels you are healthy again. This could delay your period or stop it altogether.
You're not getting enough to eat or are exercising too intensely. This again will affect your overall health. If your body is working too hard to keep you well, then there's no way a pregnancy can occur. Your period may be late, irregular, or it may disappear altogether until your body feels that your health is in order.
You're taking new medication. Taking certain prescriptions or changing your meds can affect your cycle, so talk to your doctor if you skip your period.

Dear's Advice: If your cycle is consistently regular and your period happens to be unusually late, worrying about whether you're pregnant isn't going to make you get it any faster so take a pregnancy test to help ease your mind. Whatever the results are, you'll be able to decide what step to take from there.

Palin: AP Did "Opposition Research" on Going Rogue

TresSugar — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:00:25 -0800

Sarah Palin blasted the Associated Press yesterday for doing "opposition research," more commonly known as fact-checking, on her new book Going Rogue.

"Amazingly, but not surprisingly, the AP somehow nabbed a copy of the book before it was released," she said. "They're now erroneously reporting on the book's contents and are repeating many of the same things they spewed during the campaign and afterwards."

She wrote this on her Facebook page, which doesn't help her cause, but she is onto something. Going Rogue is embargoed, meaning her publisher will not release advance copies to the press before its on-sale date (tomorrow), and the press, even if it were to happen upon a copy early, is not to review it.

So what did the "opposition researchers" find? Find out after the jump.

Ask Two Guys About Guys: Why the Incessant Package-Adjusting?

TresSugar — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:00:32 -0800

Colin Nissan and Sean Farrell of Don't Be That Guy fame have graciously agreed to answer some burning questions we women folk have about men. You guys were not loving their answer to a woman's question "Why isn't he calling me?" but this week they head into less controversial territory. Check it out!

This week's question: "Why do men need to adjust their packages so much?"

To hear what the Two Guys have to say, read more.

What’s simply written off as a lewd display of machismo is often a great deal more complex.

Climate plays a critical role in male package adjustment. In the humidity of summer months many guys experience what the medical community refers to as Swamp Balls or Jungle Johnson. Shifting things around is often our only hope for relieving this dreaded, Amazonian discomfort. Scientifically speaking, when the crotch heats up, the ball sac loosens, thinning the skin and causing temperatures to rise. Our balls begin to slide haphazardly against one another, not unlike two Jell-O-lubed wrestlers jockeying for position in the ring. It’s our job to step in and separate the two to give them time to cool off.

Underwear physics are also worth discussing. In the world of briefs, sometimes we simply need to push the curious old turtle back into its shell, if you know what we mean (the turtle is our penis.) With boxers, it’s very common for the fabric to ride up into the crevices of our inner thighs and to drag an excruciating pube or two with it. Rolling the fabric down must be done very carefully to minimize the pain, which explains why our hands are actually inside our pants a lot.

Hopefully the next time you see a guy fiddling publicly with his privates, you’ll be able to temper your disgust with a little empathy. It’s no picnic going through life with a penis, balls and a code of decency all at the same time.

Hump Day: I Have Little Desire to Have Sex Anymore

TresSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“When my husband and I first got married, I was so in love with him that we had sex what (for me) seemed like a lot (a few times a week). But now, three years into it, I feel like my baseline libido, which never was much in the first place, has flatlined. I simply have no interest in sex mentally or physically. My husband keeps asking me if there’s someone else, but in reality, I don’t want sex at all - with anyone. I’m worried he’s going to leave me, this is causing so many problems between us. Any advice?”

To see the answer, read more

It’s pretty common for sexual frequency for couples to lessen after a couple of years. It’s not always just the stereotypical “things are becoming routine” situation. Shifts in hormones can occur as time goes by and those shifts can affect sexual desire. Lots of people have a low interest in sex for any of a number of reasons. It’s not necessarily a sign of any kind of problem and if that has been your pattern for a long time; that may be simply how your sexuality is.

Do you consider your lack of interest in sex a problem? If you do, you might want to see if there are any medical issues causing it. You could have low testosterone for example. While we generally only think of it as a male hormone, women also have some testosterone in their systems and it’s often related to interest in sex. Sexual desire is quite complex and sometimes, the answers aren’t as easy as that, but it could be worth exploring.

Whether you think that your low desire is a problem or not, it sounds like your concerns center on how you and your husband talk about it and what his and your expectations are. Differences in desire can be one of the more tricky relationship challenges and almost all couples face it at some point or another. When you consider how much we (as a culture) equate sexual desire with relationship health, it’s no wonder that many of us feel a lot of pressure around it.

While I would NEVER suggest to anyone that they engage in sex that they don’t want, the two of you might want to explore other ways to connect physically. After all, it doesn’t have to be sex or intercourse. For example, would it work if you gave him backrubs? What if he masturbated while you help him or ran your hands across him? And are there ways that you would like to receive physical contact? As another possibility, are there ways in which the two of you could make room for him to get his sexual needs met, such as giving him solo time at home for some self-pleasure?

Whether you find your low desire a problem or not, you could also find a sex-positive therapist. One of the most helpful things that a therapist can offer is tools for talking about tricky topics and a safe space to do it in. Plus, sometimes an outside perspective can be really helpful. There are plenty of great people who know about sexuality issues and lots of them can be found on the website for the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Anyone in their directory has passed a rigorous certification process, which gives them the foundation to be as helpful with sexuality topics as possible.

Ultimately, the best advice I can offer you is to be honest with each other about what’s going on for you and how you each feel about it. With that as the foundation, the two of you can start looking for new ways to be together that work for both of you.

UK Report Calls Date-Rape Drug a Myth

TresSugar — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Well this is depressing. A UK Daily Mail article titled Date-Rape Drug? No Dear, You Just Had Too Much to Drink claims that date-rape drugs are mostly an urban myth. The paper quotes academic research, recently published in the British Journal of Criminology, to argue that women are "willing to 'hide behind' the idea that a stranger poured poison in their drink - rather than face up to the fact that they had simply been binge drinking."

The original report claims that women often confuse binge-drinking induced blackouts and dizziness with drink-spiking, and researchers worry that this could cause women to be less careful about more common factors that put them at risk for rape - like heavy drinking. Unfortunately, this attitude suggests that because women are responsible for their binge drinking, they're also responsible for any assault they might endure. (What about the rapist?)

In addition, the authors say that "despite popular beliefs, police have found no evidence rape victims are commonly drugged with substances such as rohypnol." It seems like quite a leap to say that women getting drugged and then raped is an urban myth just because it might not be as common as a drunk woman getting raped.

It's troubling that some experts and the media cannot find a way to remind people about the dangers associated with binge drinking without discrediting women who have been victims of sexual abuse.

Hump Day: My Boyfriend Is a One-Minute Man

TresSugar — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Today's Question:

"My boyfriend has premature ejaculation problems, and it's a little frustrating for me. As far as I know, he doesn't have any health problems. Is this psychological? Can I help him fix this?" To hear Dr. Glickman's response, read more

One of the challenges when talking about premature ejaculation is coming up with a common definition for it. Masters & Johnson defined it as when a man ejaculates before his (female) partner at least half of the time. Others have tried to define it as when he orgasms within two minutes of starting to have intercourse. That kind of definition works better in some ways, especially since many women don’t orgasm from intercourse. Ultimately, the “problem” of premature ejaculation rests on whether it causes concern for either person and since you’ve said that you’re finding it frustrating, that’s good enough for me.

There are a lot of potential causes of premature ejaculation, from the physical to the psychological. It can be caused by anxiety and stress, hormonal imbalances, prostate health issues, and relationship difficulties. With all of these possible reasons, some of which need a medical exam to detect, there’s no way for me to tell you what’s causing it for him. Having said that, there are some tips that I can offer you. Bear in mind that these assume that there aren’t any medical factors complicating the situation.

First off, anxiety is a common cause of both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Unfortunately, worrying about whether it’ll happen can make it happen, creating a self-fulfilling prediction. One of the best ways to address that is to widen your definition of what you consider sex and pleasure to be. If you can let go of the focus on intercourse and enjoy the buffet of sexual options, the worry tends to decrease. It can be really helpful to talk about how you might make that happen when you’re not having sex or just afterwards. If he’s feeling embarrassed about the situation, it’s probably going to be a lot easier to have the conversation when the clothes are still on.

Another factor that can influence when a guy ejaculates is what position he’s in. For many men, being on top seems to make him orgasm more quickly, while lying back and being straddled can make things last longer. While I’m not aware of any actual research on this, I’ve heard stories from enough men to suggest that you give it a try and see what happens.

Still another reason that some men ejaculate more quickly than they or their partners might like is that they don’t know how to work with their sexual energy. Modern tantra and other similar practices offer many men a lot of useful tools and tips for lasting longer. While this approach might not be everyone’s cup of tea, I think it’s worth looking into. Check out Mantak Chia’s book The Multi-Orgasmic Man for a really interesting and easy-to-read take on this. He also has a book for women and one for couples.

Also, some men report that one of the best ways to last longer is to be on the receiving end of a little more foreplay. Actually, I dislike the word “foreplay” since it implies that everything else is just a lead-up to “real sex.” But leaving that aside, many of us are familiar with the idea that lots of women prefer/enjoy/need some warm-up before intercourse. What you might not know is that a slower approach can be a great thing for lots of guys, too. Men’s sexual arousal isn’t just about getting an erection; ramping up can increase how much sexual energy he can maintain. Or to put it another way, just because some guys can hit the ground running doesn’t change the fact that a little warm-up makes it a lot easier. So try extending how much time you give oral sex, hand-jobs, kissing, whatever. It can help him relax and increase his arousal, both of which reduce anxiety and can make it easier for him to last longer.

To get to the last question that you ask, there are some things you can do to help him but he needs to be willing to deal with this situation in the first place. A lot of men feel ashamed of early ejaculation, even though a lot of men experience it, at least sometimes. One of the best things you can do is to talk about it with him at a time when you’re not having sex. Right after it happens is probably not ideal since he’s having whatever feelings this brings up for him. And yes, men have feelings, even when (or especially when) they don’t know how to show them!

Italy OKs Abortion Pill, Vatican to Excommunicate Doctors

TresSugar — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:51:13 -0700

Over the objections of the Vatican, Italy recently approved the use of RU486, commonly known as the abortion pill.

The pill, which can only be taken up to the seventh week of pregnancy, will not be sold in Italian pharmacies - only doctors will be allowed to administer it. The Vatican has made its opposition clear, promising that any doctor who does administer it will be excommunicated (along with the women who take it). According to the Italian health ministry, 70 percent of Italian doctors refuse to carry out abortions in the predominately Catholic country.

Unlike the morning after pill (Plan B), which prevents a pregnancy that hasn't happened yet, RU-486 causes the termination of an existing pregnancy. Italian law permits surgical abortion "on demand" within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy and until the 24th week if the fetus has genetic defects or if the mother's health is in danger. Now women will have legal access to a chemically induced abortion as an alternative to the surgical procedure.

When a Girl Becomes a Woman: Menstruation Genes Found

TresSugar — Mon, 18 May 2009 11:30:00 -0700

"You're a woman, now." That sentence probably wouldn't make much sense to a young girl - sometimes as young as 7 years old - who has begun to menstruate. A new study suggests that genes, in combination with other factors, determine when a girl will reach the moment commonly referred to as the first sign of womanhood.

According to the study, genes that direct the onset of menstruation sit next to DNA controlling height and weight. This may explain why shorter and heavier girls get their periods at a younger age. In addition to the newly discovered genes, we know that factors like nutrition and exercise influence the onset of puberty.

Scientists hope that finding out what causes early menstruation will eventually improve women's health. The age of first menstruation has been dropping in the West (some girls get their first periods at the age of seven), especially among girls with higher BMIs. This is of concern to the health community, because early menstruation is associated with depression, aggression, substance abuse, low self-esteem, and a higher risk of disease as an adult.

How old were you when you got your first period? Were you thrilled, traumatized or just expecting it?

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Kenyan Man Sues Group For Telling His Wife: No Sex

TresSugar — Sun, 10 May 2009 02:00:00 -0700

A Kenyan man is suing activists who urged women to deny their partners sex for a week in protest against their country's political impasse.

In a move that echoed Aristophanes' Greek comedy Lysistrata, a group calling themselves the Women's Development Organization called for the boycott to get political leaders to end their rivalry and work, as the wife of Kenya's prime minister, Raila Odinga, described it, for "the common person."

James Kimondo told reporters outside a Nairobi courthouse that his wife's refusal to have sex with him caused him "anxiety and sleepless nights." (Who can I sue for a similar problem?) He continued, "I have been suffering mental anguish, stress, backaches, lack of concentration." He is seeking general damages against the Women's Development Organization.

Lysistrata, performed in Athens in 411 BC, was a play by Aristophanes about a woman's mission to end the Peloponnesian War by convincing the women of Greece that the only way their men would negotiate peace is if they stopped having sex with them.

I'm trying to imagine if such withholding would affect women as much. Is your sex drive high enough that you'd be able to be blackmailed into changing your ways in exchange for the return of sex from your significant other?
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High Blood Pressure's Effect on Your Sex Life

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 07:30:00 -0800

High blood pressure (also called hypertension) is really common. It can be caused by stress, a diet high in saturated fat and sodium, and it can also be a result of genetics. High blood pressure comes with a risk for heart problems, so if you suffer from hypertension, you may be wondering if it's still safe to get it on. Since sex (like all cardio activity) can get your heart pumping, the concern is that the physical exertion will put too much stress on your heart which could cause a heart attack. You'll be happy to know that according to the American Heart Association, fewer than one percent of heart attacks have occurred while getting busy in the bedroom. So for those that have their blood pressure under control, sex gets a thumbs up! Hypertension can make sex less enjoyable though, and if you're wondering how, just read more.

For guys, hypertension can cause erectile dysfunction, since blood flow to the penis may be slow. Having this problem even once can cause a guy to be really nervous and self-conscious about sex, which could affect the relationship and his performance.

For ladies, blood flow to the lady parts is also reduced, which can cause vaginal dryness, difficulty getting aroused, and issues with reaching orgasm. Also, if stress is the cause of her hypertension, she'll be too uneasy to allow herself to let go, so chances are her sex drive will suffer the consequences.

The bottom line here, ladies and gentlemen, is that high blood pressure is no joke. It can begin in your 20s and continue throughout your lifetime. Aside from it affecting your overall health, you don't want it to put a damper on your sex life either, so get checked by your doctor and begin treatment if necessary. Your orgasms depend on it!

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