TresSugar

Do Tell: What Mantras Do You Live By?

DearSugar — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Although cliches are, well, cliche, some of them ring true! I actually live my life by one particularly important one: treating others how I'd like to be treated - it's sort of like my mantra. Do you have any mantras that hold strong and true to you and your personal life? If so, do tell, what helps you be the person you are, or what enables you to make sense of it all?

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Ten Cliches That Actually Ring True

DearSugar — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I'm a fan of cliches - when it comes to phrases, not movies! They may be overused, but I appreciate how easily they manage to sum something up that can feel impossible to verbalize otherwise. And though some are incredibly silly, others seem scarily applicable in everyday life. So in honor of cliches, I've decided to list some of the phrases that ring the most true to me. Check them out and see if you agree.

Love is blind.
It takes two to tango.
Misery loves company.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Too little, too late.

To see the rest, read more.

Actions speak louder than words.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Never say never.
Laughter is the best medicine.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Feel free to add your own below!

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"I'm Not Here to Make Friends"

GiggleSugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0700

It's the reality television cliché of the century, and this clip makes you wonder who said it first. Best variation: "I ain't here to make no friends." Runner up: "This isn't America's Next Top . . . Best Friend." Clever! Honestly, I think these folks say "I'm not here to make friends" as a preemptive strike against their radical charmlessness.

Link Time!!

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 11:00:00 -0700

Is asking someone out on work email a do or a don't? - Lemondrop
Do you think men are turned off by successful women? - Jezebel
Check out these 7 ways to spice up your sex life for under $5! - The Frisky
Who should get the dog after a divorce? - Divine Caroline
Has your life ever changed dramatically? - Glamour
Have you ever been in denial about something? - Betty Confidential
Strip clubs are good for marriages? - YourTango
Check out these 5 breakup cliches! - Em&Lo
Would you ever pop the question to him? - Truuconfessions.com

A Do or a Don't: Proposing on Valentine's Day

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Since Valentine's Day has forever been associated with love and romance, it's become a popular day for couples to take their relationship to the next level. But since this day has become such a Hallmark holiday, popping the question on Feb. 14 just seems a wee bit cliche if you ask me. I could be alone on this one so tell me, is proposing on Valentine's Day a do or a don't?

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Ask a Bad Boy: Are Hot Men Only Interested in Hot Women?

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, the author of The Manual, is back! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them here or in the comments section below. Enjoy!

Dear Steve,

I'm no Ugly Betty, but I'm not a super model either, and I'm having a hard time meeting a man. It seems like the hot men I'm attracted to are only attracted to beautiful women - regardless of their personality - and I'm starting to feel incredibly discouraged. Whatever happened to a guy being interested in a woman for her charisma, her humor, or her intelligence? I'm trying hard not to lump all men into the same category, but not one has proven me wrong. Are men really that shallow? Are looks all that matter? - Frustrated Faith

To see Steve's answer read more

Dear Frustrated Faith,

It can be argued that men are - in fact - more shallow than women. Yes, men are more visually driven creatures and we're often obvious in the reasons behind our female selections. At least with men you know what you're up against. But women are tricky in what they say versus how they execute their mating decisions. Women are often just as bad as men, though their criteria may be different, the superficial standards garner the same results; women want someone hot.

How often have you heard this, it's like a broken record; "I want him to love me for me, I want him to love me for my inside." Yea, well what if the "outside" is lazy, unkempt, and lacks basic femininity? There are women out there who will blame men for being a "Shallow Hal" when in fact it's their own fault men don't notice or ask them out. Think about it, if you saw a house covered in vines with rats running around the front yard, I doubt you'd want to take a look inside. Even if that "inside" is the Taj Mahal, you have to look good inside and outside.

The problem(s):

Many women and men try to date out of their league in looks, education, and life interests.
Many women and men don't take the time to eat properly, dress well, or take care of their bodies, yet they still expect to get a stud or a studette.
Many women make excuses and blame people - other than themselves - for their misfortune in love. Remember; whenever you point your finger, you have three fingers pointing back at yourself. Cliche maybe, but true.

The solution:

Stand in the mirror naked. Love your body type regardless of what type it is. Don't read women's magazines or let TV tell you what sexy is. Men love all types. We just don't love lazy and unhealthy. It's not more complicated than that.
Take stock of "what you have to bring to the table". Are you well traveled? Do you have a ton of hobbies? Are you funny and fun to be with? Do you like music? How smart are you? What kind of shape are you in? Are you a sex machine? Go for someone that is equal or maybe one rung up in those categories.
Be culpable and honest with yourself; we're all shallow to some degree or another. I've challenged the "love me for my inside" types by telling them I had a great guy for them. I explained that he weighed 350 pounds, didn't have all his teeth, and was balding. I also explained that he's loyal, cooks, loves sex, and adores women. To this match attempt I've received a steady breath of "no ways".

So in the end - ladies and gentlemen - we are all shallow; some of which is based in our proclivity towards following natural selection and part of which is rooted in stupidity or delusion. The news you can use is: In the beginning, we're all a bit shallow, but what keeps a relationship going is charisma, humor, and intelligence. [And a million other things, but I'll leave it at that!]

To purchase The Manual, click here and if you're wondering where Steve got that T-shirt he's wearing, click here to shop his entire assortment!

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War Slang: New Words From US Soldiers

CitizenSugar — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:30:54 -0800

Slang is hard to define, but you know it when you hear it. It's sarcastic and witty (when it's good) and establishes social bonds. War slang is no different, though it serves the additional function of exposing military problems. Slang from earlier wars - skedaddle, triumph, ballistic - has made a home in our vernacular, and now US soldiers in Iraq are playing with words, too. Check out what they're saying:

Splurge: Mocking term for "surge."
Hillbilly armor: Improvised vehicle armor, salvaged from digging through landfills for scrap metal to bolster armor on vehicles.
Sandbox: Iraq
Embrace the suck: The situation is bad; deal with it.
Geardo: The guy who has to have all the latest and greatest gear on his uniform, yet doesn’t know how to use it.

To see the rest, read more.

Fobbits: A play on FOB (Forward Operations Base). It's reserved for base-bound soldiers who rarely get out.
Groundhog Day: Every day of duty in Iraq.
Rummy's Dummies: A derogatory name for the US military under the leadership of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
Single-digit midget: A member of the armed services who has nine days or less left of duty.
Waxed: To get hit hard or killed.
Weekend warrior: US reservist or National Guard soldier.

None of these sound destined for the everyday, but then I doubt anyone saw "snafu" coming. Though "weekend warrior" could make the argument that it's arrived - if by arrived you mean cliche magazine headlines. But what do you think? Will any of these make it out of the desert?

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Dear Poll: Do You Believe in Signs?

DearSugar — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Although it may sound cliche, I do think there are plenty of things in life that happen for a reason, even if the reason isn’t clear at the time. This might make me sound superstitious, but I often find myself looking for signs to explain why certain things happen or direction as to what I should do. Sure, sometimes even I think it’s silly, but there have been a few times when an unexpected incident or moment has provided a whole lot of clarity. Am I alone or do you believe in signs, too?

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This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 04:00:00 -0700

Friday was National Respect Day and we are thrilled to announce our partnership with the Family Violence Prevention Fund to raise awareness about sexual assault and take a stand against child abuse. To learn more, click here.
How well do you know yeast infections? Take this quiz and find out!
Who is your favorite bad boy?
Do you actually have makeup sex?
Check out these 10 cliches that actually ring true!
Have you ever dated outside your race?
The Joy of Sex is getting a facelift!
According to Glamour magazine, these are the five times he finds you sexy.
Who did the breaking up in your last relationship?
Can a sexless relationship make it? E. Jean weighs in!
Does your significant other ever blame your period for your mood?

You Asked: Why Can't I Get a Date?

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I haven't had a relationship in over seven years and I am wondering what is wrong with me. It seems that everyone around me is either engaged or setting a date to be married, and I don't even have a boyfriend! I have dated a few guys, but I'm always the one left wondering what went wrong. I can't help but think that it must be me. I live alone, I have a profession, I own my own car, and live in a nice apartment that's beautifully finished. People keep telling me that marriage will happen for me, but I'm not convinced. And, if it does, I'll probably be too darn old to even enjoy it! And, lastly, it makes me feel even more inadequate when my mother tells me how pretty I am, but doesn't understand why I can't find anyone. Do you have any advice? I am already seeing a therapist because I think that I'm going crazy! - At My Wits' End Amy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear At My Wits' End Amy,

There's nothing worse than feeling like you're the odd woman out - I've been there - but dwelling on the fact that you haven't met anyone will only make things worse. Finding someone special isn't easy and it won't happen overnight. You have to endure a lot of trial and error and perhaps a few broken hearts, but most of all, you have to be patient. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, so use that to your advantage - get yourself out there and meet people! As E. Jean put it, it's a mathematical certainty that you'll meet someone if you place yourself where there are high numbers of men. Football season is about to start, so get your girls together and hit up your local pub on game day. Keep your eyes open while you're at the gym, take walks in the park after work, and Amy, don't forget to ask your friends, your friends of friends, or even your co-workers to set you up - it works sometimes, you know!

While I'm sure your mom means well, be firm and to the point when you tell her that you'd appreciate it if she'd stop with the questions and pressure. The way you feel inside is bound to show on your exterior, so as hard as it may be, you must think positively. I wish I had an answer for you as to why you haven't met "the one" yet; unfortunately, and as cliche as it may sound, it'll only happen when the timing is right. Good luck.

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