TresSugar

Do Things Happen For a Reason?

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:00:00 -0800

I've always felt that things happen for a reason. Whether you're experiencing good times or bad, I feel that there's some sort of hidden lesson or purpose in every circumstance. I learn so much from every experience I go through, and oftentimes I find that I grow and mature the most when something unbearable happens.

So tell me, do you think that things happen for a reason or do you believe more in chance and luck?

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Believe in Second Chances?

DearSugar — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Did any of your catch Britney Spears on How I Met Your Mother last night? If not, the few minutes of screen time that she got was actually pretty funny, and she looked surprisingly good, too! I've always been a big fan of Brit's, and even though she's hit rock bottom on more than one occasion, I keep cheering her on because I'm a firm believer that everyone deserves a second chance. Sure, she's had more than her fair share of chances to redeem herself, but sometimes it takes the third or fourth go around before things just click. Since no one is perfect, what I want to know is, do you believe in second chances?

Photo courtesy of CBS

Play Battle of the Books - For a Chance to Win $1,000!

TresSugar — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:00:22 -0800

In TrèsSugar's Battle of the Books faceoff, we've pitted some of the most influential books against each other. Pick which one you'd rather read, and we'll find out what's top shelf.

Finding titles to add to your holiday reading list not incentive enough? We'll be giving away a $1,000 grand prize each month - you must be logged in, and you'll be entered once every time you play. (Check out the official rules here.) What are you waiting for? Get choosy.

Doctors Tell Women to Ditch Annual Pap Test

TresSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:00:42 -0800

There may be no need to feel guilty about putting off your annual trip to the gynecologist anymore! New guidelines from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists assert that healthy women should not get cervical cancer screening pap tests every year. Instead they encourage women to get the screening every two to three years. The medical group also recommends against getting a pap test until after the age of 21, even if an adolescent is sexually active.

The new recommendations against annual cervical cancer screenings are not intended to save you embarrassment or discomfort - they're meant to prevent unnecessary and possibly harmful treatments. For example, treatment of precancerous HPV symptoms that would otherwise go away on their own puts women at a higher risk of giving birth to a premature or underweight baby. Still, cervical cancer rates have dropped 50 percent since the 1970s mostly thanks to the pap test, so I hope the doctors aren't trying to fix something that isn't broken. But the authors of the guidelines explain that the same results can be accomplished with less-regular screenings.

I'll admit the idea that less screening can be better for your sexual health seems counterintuitive. Will you stick to your annual pap test or do you welcome a chance to get one less frequently?

Share Your Most Awkward Thanksgiving Moments!

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:00:46 -0800

Back in the day, one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving was the annual Friends Thanksgiving episode. Specifically, Chandler's complicated relationship with the holiday always cracked me up. You may remember that when Chandler was nine, his dad used Thanksgiving as a chance to announce that he was gay. And years after that, Monica accidentally cut off the tip of Chandler's toe on Turkey Day. In Mr. Bing's honor, I thought it would be fun if we all shared our most awkward Thanksgiving moments in the Awkward! group in the TrèsSugar Community. Share your story, and I will feature the most festively awkward posts on Très! (If you're not clear on how to post to community, check out this helpful post.)

You Asked: Do We Have a Chance?

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I met a really great guy about three years ago. He's from another country and was in my city for a couple days because of work. We talked for a while and exchanged emails. We've now spent these years writing to each other and getting to know each other well, until last year when he suddenly stopped contacting me. Last month I found out he was coming here again (work keeps him traveling) so I wrote to him. He confirmed this and said we should meet up. We got together for drinks and had a blast - it was amazing! We spent all night talking. I realized I have true feelings for him, and dare I say, he likes me, too. But it's complicated as we live over 6,000 miles away.

Anyway, he left the next day and it's been a week and I haven't heard from him. As I was the one to ask him if he was coming over, I don't know if I should be the first to write again. But I don't want to lose him. I know he finds me attractive and he did say we had a lot in common. We both didn't want to say goodbye and hoped to meet again. He even said I was welcome to visit him anytime and that his family knew about me. Sometimes I think it's all in my head but sometimes I think this guy's for me and that he feels that too but he's unsure because of the distance. What do I do?

- Miles Apart Megs

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Miles Apart Megs,

Well, those kind of miles certainly take the term long-distance relationship to a whole new level, but it's certainly possible if you're both committed and as long as there is an end in sight. Obviously, there is a connection between the two of you if you've managed to stay in touch for so many years, and if you get the vibe that he has feelings for you, then you're probably right. But it does sound as if he doesn't see the possibility of a relationship as a reality because of the distance or another concern.

Normally, I might tell you to just move on and meet someone within driving distance, but you sound passionate and it's always worth trying. So reach out to him and tell him what an amazing time you had, and that you're afraid you'll lose him. Yes, it's taking a risk, but why not? He lives around the world - you have nothing to lose. If his reaction is casual and withdrawn, it'll be clear that he just wants to be friends. But there's always the hope that it will open up the doors to something more. Either way, at least you'll have your answer.

Source

Say What? Portia de Rossi on Why Marriage Matters

TresSugar — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:05:00 -0800

"The thing about being a gay couple is that in the past you referred to your 'wife' and there was quotation marks around it. There was always that chance that people would kind of snigger about it. But now it's fact, it's law. She's my wife. I get to say that she's my wife. And that's just the way it is."

- Portia de Rossi told Oprah yesterday why marriage matters to gay couples. Portia and her wife Ellen DeGeneres got married in August 2008 and they both appeared on Oprah's show to discuss their relationship and careers.

Group Therapy: Can I Still Find Love?

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 04:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of three years recently broke up with me. We lived together and even talked about getting married, but one day he just came home and said he didn't love me anymore and that I wasn't enough for him. As devastated as I was, I actually feel it was for the best.

The problem is that I fear he was my only chance at love. I'm in my late 20s, in business school, and I'm the only single one left in my group of friends. Do girls like me get a second chance? It just seems hard to believe that I could find another man who would love me for who I am without coming to the conclusion that he could do better. Are there men out there looking for a nerdy girl who is not gorgeous, but who is a good person?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]
Source

Say What? Rihanna Speaks Up About Abuse

TresSugar — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:10:00 -0800

"This happened to me. . . . It can happen to anyone."

- Rihanna is opening up for the first time about the abuse she suffered during her relationship with Chris Brown. In an interview with Diane Sawyer that will air tomorrow, Rihanna explains that the chance to help other people learn from her experience has been the positive thing to come from her high-profile ordeal. She says: "I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn't heard."

Which Will Be Legalized First: Pot or Gay Marriage?

TresSugar — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 07:00:46 -0800

Can you believe it used to be against the law in America to have a nice cold beer or a refreshing glass of wine? I can't! Perhaps that's what future generations will say when they look back at some of our more moralistic laws, specifically those banning marijuana and gay marriage.

Slate ran a piece yesterday arguing that America will soon get rid of these modern prohibitions. In fact, Maine is voting today on a referendum that would legalize gay marriage and another that would legalize medical marijuana, so I guess we'll get to test that thesis soon.

Now that we have a justice department that will not prosecute medical marijuana possession - not to mention a president who once said: "I inhaled. . . frequently. That was the point." - it's not such a stretch to think Americans might soon be able to get high without fear of the jail time. And while many states still have all-out bans on same-sex marriage, the public seems increasingly supportive of marriage equality. Which do you think has a better chance of becoming fully legalized first?