TresSugar

The Doctor Is In: Love and Sex With Dr. Drew, Part II

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0800

I hope you all enjoyed part I of my exclusive interview with Dr. Drew yesterday, because I'm back to share part II with you today! There's a lot to cover so I'll get straight to the point - enjoy!

How has dating changed since you started Loveline 25 years ago?

Well the whole hookup culture has now become institutionalized. Before it was not so mainstream. One-night stands were considered relatively disdainful and problematic. Now it's considered the cornerstone of your social life.

What are some of the commonalities and differences between dealing with sex and addiction?

Prepare yourself because I'm going to talk for a couple of minutes about this! One is that sexuality and drugs and alcohol are reinforced in precisely the same part of the brain. So sexual addiction, sexual compulsion, and drug and alcohol addiction really biologically, are really very closely related. And they are also very much about trying to find solutions to emotional disregulation. We have such destroyed family systems in our culture today that people don't get what they need to develop a flexible capacity for emotional regulation. They look to the culture for solutions to that, and the kinds of solutions our culture offers them are drugs, alcohol, and sex; so sex becomes a drug in our culture, when in reality, it's not that, it's a very deeply embedded component of our interpersonal and our emotional life. And we've taken it away from that - we've just expunged it from all that. Not only that, the hookup culture is always an intoxicating experience - always. So it's fueling not only addiction, but substance abuse, and my constant question to college age kids is, well if that's such a cool thing that it needs to be the cornerstone of your social life, why the hell do you always have to be intoxicated? Why is it always an intoxicating experience? And what you find is, they're intoxicated because they are trying to, again, regulate their emotions, trying to suppress feelings, or medicate away feelings in order to tolerate the hookup culture, so it's deeply interconnected on many, many levels.

To hear more from Dr. Drew, read more.

What advice do you have for someone that is in a relationship with an addict?

Go to Al-Anon. Either get out or go to Al-Anon - those are your two choices. If you do neither of those, you are part of the disease and part of the problem.

So do you think a relationship can make it through an addiction?

Yeah, but I tell this to families all the time. If you do not go to a therapist and/or a 12-step program yourself, you are participating in the demise of the person you love. If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. So to not do anything and expect the addict to get better, the addict will either A) not get better or B) the relationship will not survive.

What's your secret to having a successful relationship after 18 years of marriage?

Oh man, this is complicated, but I do have an opinion about it! I do believe that passionate connection - passionate attraction is important, but it's traitorous. And you have to be prepared, because often times what creates passion is the sickest part of one person connecting with the sickest part of another - so you have to be prepared to do something called process. You have to be prepared to go to therapy, get mental health services when you need to, and work things through - always make sure that you avail yourself of support. Commitment is the other thing - commit to stay in with the relationship, but don't expect things to change if you don't reach out for help. The best thing in the world is a passionate relationship with what we call process.

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The Doctor Is In: Love and Sex With Dr. Drew, Part I

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0800

I don't think I've ever shared with you my admiration for Dr. Drew Pinsky, but I've got to say, he's one of my favorite television personalities - and let's be honest, he's pretty sexy too! While he is a physician first, he's made his expertise available to the public via Loveline, Celebrity Rehab, and now Sober House. His approach to helping people is the perfect combination of compassion and tough love, and I was lucky enough to sit down and talk with him about his new project, Sex . . . With Mom and Dad, where Dr. Drew helps families in need of guidance when it comes to the "taboo topic of sex."

In this two-part interview, you'll get to hear his opinion on sex, addiction, relationships, and how the world of dating has changed over the years. Tune in tomorrow for part two.

Why is it so important to talk to kids about sex?

There are multiple reasons. One, it gives parents a chance to shape their behavior and to communicate their values. Number two is, it diminishes the secrecy in a family system, which is always a bad thing. And ultimately, my hope is it'll give parents a chance to help kids examine how deeply embedded sexuality is in their emotional lives, and I think most parents are kind of sensitive to that.

To read more from this interview, read more.

Is it harder for you to talk to the kids or their parents about sex?

It's so different, it's pretty equal, they each have their own challenges. Sometimes it's the parents, when they're so rigid and resistant - I've got to say - sometimes it's the parents. Because the kids usually want to have the conversation, it's just awkward; they don't know how to initiate it, and we really help them break the ice.

What is the best piece of advice you received as a kid about sex?

I didn't receive any guidance or direction when I was a kid, and it was a very confusing time. After I became a physician, it became something I was attuned to. When I had an opportunity to do a radio show, the way I crafted the radio show was, I wished there was a place like that for me to go as a kid. Just having someplace to go with this is what I've always wanted to create for kids.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow to see the rest of my interview with Dr. Drew!

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Gary Busey: Drug Counselor on Celebrity Rehab

GiggleSugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:00:00 -0800

Celebrity Rehab, like A&E's Intervention, is as addictive as any drug out there. I've joked many times that someone's going to have to stage an intervention on my drug-themed reality television viewing habits. If I were a real drug addict, though, I'd pause before I entered a facility that used Gary Busey as an inspirational drug counselor. And yet the madman philosopher with the jacked up face and mesmerizingly solid teeth was chosen by silver-haired fox Dr. Drew for this season's Celebrity Rehab. (Tawny Kitaen didn't seem so amused when his creepy gaze ranged all over her body as he tried to give her "inspiration.") Here is Chelsea Handler, author of Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea voicing more skepticism. Let's play an SAT game, shall we? Gary Busey: Drug Counselor as __ is to __. . .

Is Celebrity Rehab Just Another Voyeuristic Reality Show?

DearSugar — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:00:00 -0700

One of my favorite shows is back for its second season tonight and I'm already gearing up for it! If you didn't catch season one of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, tonight's the night to get hooked. As a self-proclaimed reality TV junkie, I've seen a lot, but this show takes an incredibly serious look at the lives of these celebrities and exposes their insecurities and weakness. Just like Intervention, Celebrity Rehab is an effort to get them off the drug of their choice, but throughout the season we get to see them rehab not only through detox, but through therapy as well. Sure, I feel a bit voyeuristic watching these individuals experience such pain and heartache, but seeing the realistic side of fame makes each of the celebrities seem a little more human - just like you and me.

Have you ever seen the show? If so, do you think it's just another attempt to pry into the private lives of celebrities or do you think it's an interesting way to get them clean and sober?

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Dear Poll: Do you Think Rehab is the Answer?

DearSugar — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 10:30:00 -0700

Michael Richards, Mel Gibson and Don Imus oh my... just to name a few. Celebrities have been drying out in rehab for years, but their reasons for seeking treatment are getting juicier and juicer by the second. No longer are treatment centers solely for drug and alcohol dependency, but rather racism, anger, and stress as well.

It seems like every time a public figure finds themselves in hot water, they blame their actions and remarks on some sort of dependency and run to rehab for shelter instead of being held accountable for their behavior. How do you all feel about this new phenomenon? Do you think celebrities are cowardly blaming their outbursts on abuse or do you feel they are in fact victims of addiction?

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Dear Poll: Do you still Have Hope for any of these Train Wrecks?

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 09:20:26 -0700

Oh dear -- what is going on with some of my favorite celebrities? I have a soft spot for Lindsay Lohan, I have always been her number one fan, but I just can't wrap my arms around what she is thinking these days!! And unfortunately, she isn't alone in this downward spiral. Young Hollywood starlets keep making headlines -- everything from DUI/drug possession to mental breakdowns, and there seems to be no end in sight.

While part of me thinks these girls are simply screaming for attention, another part of me thinks they are really very troubled young ladies that clearly need to be taken out of their environment in order to get a clear perspective of what they are doing to their futures. I am still holding out faith that they will get their acts together, but ladies, tell me, do you still have hope for any of these train wrecks?

Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew - Will You Tune In?

TresSugar — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 09:13:37 -0700

VH1 has ordered eight episodes of a Celebrity Rehab spinoff that will attempt to clarify sex addiction, an oft-misunderstood illness. Much like the original, Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew will follow a group of people in Los Angeles who struggle with the very real addiction and its destructive side effects. VH1 really sells it with this seductive promo:

For addicts, sex isn’t even pleasurable, but rather a way to escape the pain of past loss, childhood trauma, abuse, and abandonment. Like many other addictions, their habits can cost them their jobs, their marriages, even their lives.

Well, I'm sold! Are you?

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Giggle Links

GiggleSugar — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:30:00 -0700

My Little Pony: coming to a Celebrity Rehab episode near you! - Eat Liver
C Me Dance: must-see movie? - Holy Taco
Gramps at Spring break. Not a pretty site. - College Humor
Ed Westwick Walks the Wunway. - World of Wonder
Cute funny man with a cat? Yes, please! - Lemondrop
Interviewee faints during newscast. Men watch her go down. Nice job, guys! - Jezebel
Even houseplants are Twittering now? WTF?! - Neatorama

United Nations Says Stop Being Soft on Celebrity Drug Users

LibertySugar — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:30:28 -0800

It's common knowledge that drug use often goes hand in hand with the celebrity lifestyle. Countless famous abusers check in to rehab, or even sing about it. Pictures of celebrity junkies using drugs are widely available in magazines or on the internet. But, is public airing of celebrities' habits too small a price to pay for breaking the law?

The UN's International Narcotics Control Board (INCB) thinks celebrity abusers are getting off too easily when it comes to criminal sentencing. In its annual report, the INCB maintains that when celebrities glamorize a drug-related lifestyle, it influences the youth, a group most vulnerable to celebrity culture.

The INCB is warning countries against disproportionately targeting low-level offenders. Instead, countries should go after high-profile users, as well as the criminal gangs fueling the drug trade.

Do you think that celebrities get soft treatment from the criminal justice system? Should we expect them to be role models, and therefore make examples of them when they violate the law?

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"Is This Thing On?" Live-Mic Oops Crank Up Bush and Jackson

CitizenSugar — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:01:38 -0700

Live microphones are turning controversial remarks up to an "11" this week. Jesse Jackson used the N-word - the one for the dangly part of the male anatomy - when dishing about Obama during a break from taping a segment on Fox & Friends on Sunday. Jackson was, he thought secretly, gossiping with his co-guest about Obama's position on black churches and his support for faith-based charities. Jackson made the rude (and puzzling) remark, "I want to cut his n**ts off," into his live mic, moments before going on air.

Jackson didn't know his words had been picked up at the time, but by yesterday the clip was ready to air on The O'Reilly Factor and Jackson was in full damage-control mode, apologizing at a news conference in Chicago and releasing a statement saying:

For any harm or hurt that this hot mic private conversation may have caused, I apologize. My support for Senator Obama's campaign is wide, deep and unequivocal.

Barack Obama has accepted his apology. His spokesman said, "[Obama] will continue to speak out about our responsibilities to ourselves and each other, and he of course accepts Rev. Jackson's apology."

Not all hot-mic trouble results in hot water. George W. Bush had an uncharacteristically endearing private/public address series of moments at the G-8 Summit this week. To see what everyone heard him say, read more.

At an unintended broadcast lunchtime chitchat Bush said:

“Amigo! Amigo!” cheerily in Spanish to Italian prime minister Berlusconi. “How you doing, Silvio? Good to see you!” And later, “I read the courts are after you again. it’s unbelievable. I’ve never seen anything like it. Constantly after you.”
On his parents' recent joint replacement surgeries to Angela Merkel on his dad, "yeah, I’m worried about him,” and mom “two knee operations, two knees at the same time, because she didn’t want to rehab but once.”
On the hilly bike ride in Japan, “so I got on my bicycle this morning and got to the bottom of the hill and realized it was really tough to get up. When you’re older, as you know. . . "
And my favorite, on the Fourth of July celebration, “big party at the White House, and they had fireworks. My little girls were there.”

Aw! Though at the next day's lunch, the mics were conspicuously turned off.

What do you make of the Jackson remark? Should it have been broadcast on The O'Reilly Factor given that it was clearly off the record - or has that concept disappeared with technology? Is everything now on the record? Should it be?

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