TresSugar

Have You Ever Had a One-Night Stand?

TresSugar — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:00:00 -0700

The infamous one-night stand takes the concept of casual sex to the extreme. There are serious risks to consider when having sex with someone you don't know too well, like STIs and regret, but there can be something exciting and enjoyable about no-strings-attached sex.

Since even a serial monogamist might have had a one-night stand once in her life, I'm curious - have you?

Do Tell: What Are Your Rules For Casual Sex?

TresSugar — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:30:40 -0700

I never noticed the similarities between a friends with benefits relationship and a temp job, until I watched this adorable little vid explaining how to have casual sex. It presents a pretty solid set of rules that can be applied to both temp jobs and FWB arrangements, including "don't leave anything there" and "don't expect special treatment on your birthday." Hilarious, but also great advice.

Have you ever been in a friends with benefits relationship? If so, what rules and tips would you offer for others getting into the temping game? Or would you just recommend people avoid it completely?

True Confession - I Love Casual Sex!

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 07:30:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

I hate being alone, so I settle for meaningless sex. I love the attention and the closeness I feel, even if it's just pretend, but my number of sexual partners is rising by the weekend! I know casual sex has a bad rap, so can I be forgiven for loving it?

Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here and see if you are forgiven!

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Actually Had a One-Night Stand?

DearSugar — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:00:00 -0700

One-night stands are tricky territory, especially when considering STIs. There are some who truly do enjoy a casual sex encounter, but for many, keeping sex casual is extremely difficult. I know both men and women who had greater expectations from hookupz than just a one-night stand, which left them feeling disappointed and dissatisfied. And yet, they still happen all the time. Since we're all anonymous here, I want to know: Have you ever participated in a one-night stand?

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You Asked: My Friend With Benefits Doesn't Make an Effort

DearSugar — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I had a horrible breakup not too long ago, and so I'm not currently dating right now. I'm OK with being single, but the one thing that I am not a fan of is the lack of sex. I started up a sex-buddy relationship with an ex of mine that I'm still really good friends with because we're both unattached, but I never see him! Our schedules are hard to coordinate and I don't feel that he makes the effort. I read your rules on casual sex, but I don't know how to talk to him about our lack of sex or even if I should since we're not in an actual relationship. I would think that he would be jumping at the chance for hot sex with no strings attached! Should I confront him about this or am I better off just leaving it alone?

- Sexless Stacey

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Sexless Stacey,

It's true that the general idea behind a friends-with-benefits situation is that you actually get to have sex when you want, but it's also a situation centered on convenience - yours and his. By broaching this subject with him, you're automatically redefining your relationship and venturing out of the casual and into the emotional. If you want this guy to just be your sex buddy then you have to accept the flippant nature of that relationship. But instead of dealing with all of that, why not give yourself a hand and use a vibrator! I know it's not the same as having sex, but the perks are unbeatable - it comes with absolutely no drama and it's available whenever you want it!

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The Truth About One-Night Stands

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Whether you're into one-night stands or not, a recent study shows that men and women engage in them with completely different intentions. Guys are interested in just one thing, the sex (what a surprise!), whereas women yearn for the feeling of being desired and needed. Of course, guys end up getting what they crave, but most women just end up feeling used and emotionally crushed. They have hopes that this one night of passion might turn into a lifetime of love and romance, but it's often a huge letdown because after that one night, they're no longer wanted.

When it comes to casual sex, women feel flattered that a guy is that interested, but according to Anne Campbell, a psychologist at Durham University in England, "What women don't seem to see is that men drop their standards massively for a one-night stand." She goes on to say that in fact, women shouldn't feel flattered at all just because a man wants to have sex with her one time.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with carefree one-time-only sex (even though there's the risk of contracting an STI), but it's important that women know what a man's intentions are. If she's on the same page, I say be safe and go for it!

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Women Aren't Into Casual Sex?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Many men have an ability to be spontaneous when it comes to sex. They're free of their emotions and can have one-night stands without even so much as batting an eye. Ever since the sexual revolution of the sixties, women have tried to do the same, but according to an article in Science Daily, new research published by the journal Human Nature indicates that women's negative emotions get in the way of a satisfying casual-sex encounter.

In the study, 1,743 men and women had one-night stands, and the following morning were asked to rate both their positive and negative feelings. It's no surprise that 80 percent of the men had said the experience was great, and only 54 percent of the women felt the same way. The men felt sexual satisfaction, contentment, and a greater sense of well-being and confidence, while the women felt "used." Science Daily writes:

Women were also more likely to feel that they had let themselves down and were worried about the potential damage to their reputation if other people found out. Women found the experience less sexually satisfying and, contrary to popular belief, they did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships.

Perhaps women are also affected by the added burden of a potential pregnancy. Whatever the reason, I don't find it all too surprising that women feel sex is more satisfying with someone they share an emotional connection with. But ladies, what are your thoughts on casual sex? Does this study ring true for you? Or do you find one-night stands exciting and fun?

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Dear Poll: How Many Times Did You Have Unprotected Sex in 2007?

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:00:00 -0800

If you're an avid DearSugar reader, you should be well educated about STIs and pregnancy by now. We all know that the only way to stay protected against disease is to get tested with your partner or to use a condom, especially if you're having casual sex. With that said, let's be honest, it's easy to let the awkward safe-sex talk slide by the wayside when you're caught up in the moment. I'm sure we have all made a mistake once or twice before, so ladies, be honest, how many times did you have unprotected sex in 2007?

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Dear Poll: If Your One Night Stand Got You Pregnant...

DearSugar — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 13:00:00 -0800

In a previous poll, 41 percent of you said you were all for casual sex, but only 11 percent admitted to having a one night stand. Regardless of the kind of sexual partners you've had, sometimes we aren't as safe as we should be, leaving some chance for unexpected pregnancy.

So what would you do if you found out you were pregnant by a man you had no intention of pursuing a relationship with or ever seeing again? Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, what I want to know is, would you tell the man who knocked you up that you were pregnant or would you make your decision on what to do all on your own?

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Dear Poll: Do You Believe in Casual Sex?

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Everyone views sex differently - some save themselves for marriage, some have sex at a very young age, and others consider it just what happens after a dinner date. We are all entitled to our own opinions, so I wanted to ask you how you feel about casual sex. Assuming both parties are practicing safe sex, what I want to know is...

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