TresSugar

Handle This: She Cancels on Your New Year's Eve Plans

DearSugar — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800

If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?

You and your best friend made New Year's Eve plans months ago, which was a huge relief to you since there's always so much hype around that night. You each bought tickets to an all-inclusive party, and since most of your friends are coupled up, she's essentially your date.

When your friend calls you asking if you have time to talk, you can tell in her voice that something's wrong. She tells you that her best guy friend from college was asked to attend an incentive trip for his company and was invited to bring a plus one - her. The vacation overlaps with your New Year's plans, but she said it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. She's very apologetic, but she's left you in the lurch; you're going to be the only single one in your group. You're angry, but you don't want to hold a grudge, so how would you handle this?

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Dear Poll: Do You Create Exit Plans?

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I’ll be the first to admit it, if I’m going somewhere where I really don’t want to go, with someone I don’t want to be with or might not want to be with after all is said and done, I’ll set up a convenient/fake phone call from a friend about an hour and a half in, with a request to come pick them up. If I’m having a terrible time as expected, this is the perfect out, but if I’m having a blast, I can easily just tell her that I can’t get away - she'll know the code. It’s not my classiest move, but it saves me a lot of heartache, plus it saves my “date” any hard feelings. So do you ever use an exit plan when you're unsure of how your evening will pan out?

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Group Therapy: Last Minute Cancellations Are Totally Bumming Me Out

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I woke up this morning to a text message from my sister telling me she that she had to cancel our plans for tonight, and for some reason, I can't shake the disappointment I feel.

Recently I've noticed that I'm becoming more and more sensitive to last minute cancellations. Last week when an old girlfriend who I hadn't seen in over a month called to cancel our same-day plans, and I was so disappointed I almost cried! While I understand that people get busy and things come up, I can't help but feel bummed out when my friends bail on me. How can I deal with the balls life throws at me without feeling so down? Am I being too sensitive? Does this mean I'm lonely?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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Speed Read! American Music Awards Go Gaga

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:30:11 -0800

Didn't catch the AMAs? Here are the top 10 moments from last night's show. - BuzzSugar
Couple arrested for not paying 18 percent gratuity ($16 bucks) added to dinner bill.- Lemondrop
London thinks New York City has lost its edge. - The Frisky
The US Postal Service is canceling its letters to Santa program because one of the "Santas" was a registered sex offender. - Videogum
New Moon brought in $140.7 million this weekend. - PopSugar
Katie Couric is not immune to embarrassing Facebook photos. - Gawker
Michael Jackson's rhinestone-encrusted glove goes for $350,000 at auction. - The Daily Beast
Public support for marijuana legalization is on the rise. - Washington Post

Has Technology Ruined Romance For Us?

TresSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 07:00:00 -0800

Conservative columnist David Brooks wrote an essay in the New York Times yesterday about how technology is ruining love and sex for the youngins.

Although Brooks reaches this conclusion based on the testimony of some horndogs who agreed to be "online sex diarists" for New York magazine (he admits it's a pretty unrepresentative demographic), Brooks nevertheless believes their stories tell us something fundamental about love in the age of technology: it's allowed people to treat potential sex partners (and it's significantly limited to this) as if they were products on eBay.

Once upon a time - in what we might think of as the "Happy Days era" - courtship was governed by a set of guardrails. Potential partners generally met within the context of larger social institutions: neighborhoods, schools, workplaces and families. There were certain accepted social scripts. The purpose of these scripts - dating, going steady, delaying sex - was to guide young people on the path from short-term desire to long-term commitment.

Now? People have lots of different kinds of sexual attachments with different people at the same time, and their cellphones help making and canceling plans as easy as rearranging Netflix queues. (I'll take the credit for that last analogy!)

Do you agree with Brooks? Is it true that, "In today’s world, the choice of a Prius can be a more sanctified act than the choice of an erotic partner"?

Front Page: Halloween's a Treat For Celebrities and Politicians

TresSugar — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:00:56 -0800

Dressed as a crow, Heidi Klum went all out for her 10th annual Halloween party where countless celebrities celebrated in costumes. - PopSugar
Barack and Michelle Obama welcomed 2,000 trick-or-treaters to the White House Saturday. - Huffington Post
The USS New York, a warship built with steel salvaged from the World Trade Center, made its entrance into New York City today. - BBC News
Afghanistan's runoff presidential election has been canceled after challenger Abdullah Abdullah dropped out because he said the vote would not be free or fair. - AP
The New York City Marathon happened this weekend; here's a look at runners who have cheated throughout history. - New York Times
Michael Jackson's This Is It moonwalked to the top of the box office this weekend, bringing in $21.3 million in its first weekend in theaters. - BuzzSugar

Tech Dating 101: Canceling Plans Via Text

DearSugar — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Welcome back to this week's installment of Tech Dating 101, where geeksugar
and I team up to help you out with the issues that arise when technology and dating meet. We've covered the Internet, but this week it's textual - Enjoy!

Is it OK to decline a date or cancel plans via text?

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Like I said last week in regards to making announcements over the Internet, I prefer face to face or voice to voice contact over text messaging or e-mail, but if you're looking for the easy way out, sending a text is definitely the way to go!

Since there are no rules set in stone, take each scenario into consideration. If you're canceling on a good friend, especially last minute, I'm sure she/he would appreciate hearing your voice and your reason for canceling, but if you're bagging out on someone who is easy going, not too sensitive or on someone you don't plan on seeing again (a bad date for instance), I think sending a text is perfectly fine. With that said, it definitely gives off the impression that you don't care enough to pick up the phone and tell him/her in person so take that into consideration.

I know that some people's main mode of communication is text or instant messaging, so if you don't think the other person would be offended by it, by all means keep your mode of communication status quo, but ask yourself how you'd feel if that person texted you instead of calling and use your answer as your gage.

To see what geek has to say, just click here!

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Beyonce Too Sexy For Malaysia

TresSugar — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:30:00 -0700

Beyonce won't be showing off her, um, leotards anytime soon in Malaysia. The singer has canceled her upcoming show in the predominately Muslim country because it has upset conservative Muslims who think her show is immoral.

Although Beyonce is not subject to the country's Sharia courts and cannot be tried for moral offenses, her sexy dances and costumes would nevertheless cause some outrage. The country's Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party called for the cancellation because it would promote "Western sexy performances." Well they're right about that - Beyonce definitely puts on a sexy show.

Considering a 32-year-old Malaysian model was recently sentenced to be caned for drinking a beer in a hotel nightclub, I'm not so surprised some people there aren't ready for Beyonce's jelly.

You Asked: She Canceled Her Wedding

DearSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I was supposed to sing at a friend's wedding coming up this Fall. My travel for the wedding has already been booked, with the majority being nonrefundable. I just got an update from the bride-to-be that she's called off the wedding with no chance of reconciling with her mate. Do I count the $400 as a loss due to a good friendship, or do I ask for some kind of reimbursement during this obviously hard time?

- Singing Sasha

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Singing Sasha,

This is certainly a tough situation as far as proper etiquette is concerned. Wedding cancellations are rare, but they do happen. Though it's easy for the guests to feel stiffed, try to keep in mind that your friend is likely to be going through some very difficult emotions right now. I'm sure she feels absolutely awful and humiliated over the time and effort people have put into a wedding that will never be. Perhaps she'll decide to pay you back eventually, but I wouldn't pressure her in the meantime.

A $400 loss is a bummer for anyone, but I think in this case, that's just the way it has to be. I'm sure your friend is already dealing with huge costs in lost deposits, and I highly doubt that she can even afford to reimburse everyone who made travel arrangements. If she's a close friend, perhaps you should make the trip anyway to be by her side. If not, why not try changing your ticket to another destination - at least that way you can still get some bang for your buck.

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Sunday Confessional - I Canceled on My Blind Date

DearSugar — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0700

A co-worker of mine set me up on a blind date. I'm fresh out of a relationship so she was trying to do me a favor, but truth be told, she doesn't know me that well so I was a little apprehensive about the kind of guy she'd pair me with.

Once I got his name, I immediately searched for him on Facebook and lo and behold, I found him. He was an OK looking guy, but he was definitely not my type, and after reading through his profile, I knew that sitting across the dinner table from him would have just been a waste of time.

I didn't have the heart to tell my co-worker that I snooped on him and didn't like what I saw, so I called in sick to work the day of our date and gave him the same excuse. He's written me emails asking to reschedule, but I've ignored each and every one. I know I judged a book by its cover, but can I be forgiven for avoiding this guy simply based on his Facebook page?

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