TresSugar

DearSugar Needs Your Help: I'm a Punished Bridesmaid!

DearSugar — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Being Punished Betsy need your help. She's a bridesmaid in her cousin's wedding and the bride doesn't want her to bring a date. She feels like she's being punished because she's not in a serious relationship, so what should she do since she doesn't want to go alone?

Dear Sugar,
My cousin is getting married in the Spring; she's a month older than me and we've been raised almost like sisters. I'm in the bridal party and am flying in with my parents from out of town. I want my best friend (he's gay) to be my date for the wedding, but when I asked her, she said that she "really needs me to be there for her 100 percent," even though her sister is the maid of honor and she has four other bridesmaids. We had this conversation several months ago but I didn't tell my friend that my cousin said no because he wasn't sure if he would be able to come anyway.

He just told me today that he is free that weekend and that he'd love to be my date. The more I think about it the more I feel that I should be able to bring someone. If I were to get married next year and had my cousin in my wedding, it would be understood that she could bring her husband the same way it would be understood that my friend would come if he was my boyfriend.

My parents love him so I know that if I were to be busy or preoccupied with helping her or doing something for the wedding, he'd be OK - he's a big social butterfly as it is - so I don't understand what the big deal is. I get that my cousin wants this opportunity to have the spotlight, (as she should ) but is asking to bring a date an unreasonable request? I feel as though I'm being punished for being single! I don't want to cause problems before her special day but I truly don't want to go stag. What should I do? - Being Punished Betsy

Source

You Asked: Is She a Bad Bridesmaid or Am I a Bridezilla?

DearSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm getting married in a few months, and I asked my four closest girl friends to be my bridesmaids. Three of the girls have been amazing, but I've been having a lot of issues with the last girl. They were kind enough to throw me a lovely bachelorette party, but they had a hard time settling on the date because the girl in question was always "busy." They finally settled on a date that worked for her, and then three weeks before the party, she called to tell me that she couldn't make it because she decided to take a vacation instead. I feel extremely hurt because I knew the other girls bent over backwards to accommodate her because we all felt it was important for her to attend since she was a bridesmaid. Am I wrong to be hurt that she would miss my bachelorette party so she could go on a vacation instead? - Peeved Penelope

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Peeved Penelope,

I have to say that I'm on your side on this one - your friend is being incredibly selfish by purposely making vacation plans on the same weekend as your bachelorette party. Not only did she create a ruckus by making the date all about her, but she's clearly showing you where her priorities lie. Since she's already made her decision, there's nothing you can do now, so try not to let her absence ruin your bachelorette party or your wedding day.

Although brides are typically the ones that become overwhelmed during wedding planning time, perhaps your friend is going through something that you're unaware of. Could she be jealous that you're getting married and she's not? Could she be having marital problems if she's already married? She could also have bailed out on your weekend with the girls simply because the attention was not going to be on her.

Since your feelings are rightfully hurt, I'd talk to her about it. Let her know how she made you feel and perhaps ask if there's something bothering her that she wants to talk about. If she says no, remember that this is her problem, not yours, and hopefully by the time your wedding comes around, she can stand by your side and support you on your big day.

Source

You Asked: Do I Have a Right to Be Insulted?

DearSugar — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My husband's best friend, who has become a close friend of mine as well, recently got married and my husband was a groomsman. I was OK with how consuming that responsibility was until we got to the reception, where everything went downhill. I was excluded from eating with my husband and I didn't get to dance or celebrate with him at all because the groom was occupying all his time. We of course got into a fight that night, and I blame the groom. Am I wrong for feeling slighted by my friend for setting up that recipe for disaster? - Angry Angelica

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Angry Angelica,

I can see why you'd be upset that you didn't get to spend time with your husband at the wedding, but I don't think there's much use in dragging out this fight or making a big deal out of it now. You have to remember that the wedding was your friend's big day and being a groomsman is a big responsibility - I'm sure your husband felt torn knowing that he didn't have time to celebrate with you. Although I've never really given it much thought, I guess the term Bridezilla can be used to describe the groom as well, and it sounds like he has just overlooked the fact that you might have had hurt feelings. The fact that you couldn't sit next to your husband is a big bummer - I'd be upset by that too - but what's done is done. Try to remember that this wasn't your husband's fault. If your mutual friend continues to create friction between you two, I think you should talk to him about it, but if this was just a one-off example, I'd let it go.

Source

You Asked: Am I Being Bridezilla?

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I recently got engaged, and my fiancé and I are planning a small destination wedding. We both come from fairly large families and them alone is already 50 guests, which leaves very little room for friends.

I am curious to see what the general opinion is about having a small destination wedding (50 or so) and then having another party, say in my hometown, where all of our family, friends, and extended family could attend. I know a destination wedding might be too pricey for some of our guests so I want to be able to accommodate everyone. I know etiquette dictates that if you invite someone to an engagement party or shower you should also invite them to the wedding, but is asking certain guests to attend one wedding and not the other in poor taste? And is asking other guests to attend both selfish? I don't want to be looked at as a Bridezilla! - Planning My Wedding Miranda

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Planning My Wedding Miranda,

There are millions of etiquette books out there that dictate all sorts of rules about weddings, but when it comes down to it, your wedding day is all about how you and your fiancé want to celebrate your love. If you wish to have a destination wedding (perhaps it'd be best if you only invited immediate family) and then have a larger party for those guests that couldn't travel with you, by all means do it! If you have some overlapping guests, be mindful that they might not be able to commit to both celebrations. If that's the case, don't take the decision of those who decline personally.

Of course no one aims to be a Bridezilla, so just be mindful of your big day: remember that it's about the marriage, not the wedding. Though your wedding will no doubt be one of the most memorable days of your life, if you keep everything in perspective, I'm sure you'll be an even-keeled bride! Good luck to you.

Source

You Asked: I Can't Take My Bridezilla Sister Anymore!

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My sister is getting married in six months, and she has turned into a total Bridezilla, and I can't take it anymore! She asked me to be her maid of honor, and I was delighted to say yes, but the problem is when she wants to do something, she plans it and then asks me if I'm free that particular day. I have an 8-year-old involved in sports. When I tell her that I can't do something because he has a game or has something school-related, I get a huge guilt trip put on me. Whenever I can't make it, I tell when I can, but you would think the world was coming to an end by her reaction. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Can you help? - Over Her Heather

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Over Her Heather,

When someone becomes a bridezilla, chances are she doesn't even realize it, so although it's no doubt annoying, try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Getting married can be very stressful, and it sounds as though she wants everything to be perfect. Since she has a one-track mind these days, be her friend when she overreacts and bring her back to reality. If you don't speak up and let her know how she's behaving, she won't know to change.

I always tell people to give bridezillas a break during their planning process. Sometimes it's just easier to bite your tongue than start a potential argument that you're guaranteed to lose. Now Heather, if your sister still carries on like this after her wedding, then by all means feel free to knock some much-needed sense into her! Good luck.

Source

Dear Poll: Do You Call Out Your Friends?

DearSugar — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Sometimes our friends don't act on their best behavior, either towards us or to other people, but no one's perfect all the time, right? So when they do act out, it's our job as their friends to tell them so - or is it? Sometimes when you're stuck in a funk, it's hard to realize it on your own. Then, even if it's unpleasant to call someone out on their bad behavior, sometimes they need a friend to put them in their place. So ladies, whether your friend is being a bridezilla, a birthday drama queen, or just plan bratty, tell me, do you call them out on it?

Source

Dear Quiz: Do You Have Bridezilla Tendencies?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 12:00:00 -0700

If you've ever been a bride or known someone who has gotten married, you're familiar with the term bridezilla. Of course, no one aims to be a high-maintenance bride, but sometimes it's inevitable. To see if you have bridezilla tendencies, take this quiz and see how you measure up!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Source

After you're engaged, how long of an engagement do you want?

About a year. I want to enjoy the moment without having to rush the planning process.

Well over a year so I can plan, plan, plan!

I'd rather elope, I just want to be married to the man I love.

What would your prewedding diet/exercise routine look like?

It would look the exact same as it does right now - I want to look like myself on my wedding day.

A serious diet including a personal trainer. This is my day to be a beautiful, blushing bride.

I plan to keep a watchful eye, but by no means deprive myself - everything in moderation, right?

How much do you plan on spending on your dress?

However much it takes for me to feel and look my best!

After I work out a budget, I plan on sticking to it so whatever I can afford.

I plan on wearing my mother's dress. It's still as beautiful as ever and it has a lot of sentimental value.

In your mind, what is the most important role of your bridesmaids?

To stand by my side on my wedding day. It wouldn't be the same without my best friends up there with me.

To help celebrate this special occasion with me, including throwing me a fabulous bachelorette party!

To look their best, be on their best behavior, and do everything according to plan.

Once engaged, you want your fiancé to . . .

I know weddings aren't really a guy thing so I'll let him dictate how involved he wants to be.

Be there with me every step of the way even if he's not interested. This is our wedding!

I'll want him there for any major decision making, but I can handle the details on my own, I know it's not his bag.

After you're engaged, your friends will most likely . . .

Feel they've lost you to the wedding planning black hole. You just don't have time for them anymore.

Want to hear all the fun details about the big day.

Ask you about your wedding because you've been trying not to inundate them with all things wedding.

Bridezilla Drops the Wedding Cake

GiggleSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

You can't have a proper wedding without a cake. The bridezilla below is fully aware of this, which is why she has settled herself into the backseat of the car where she can micromanage her two precious wedding cakes on the way home. By "micromanage," I mean scream and curse absurdities at all the nonexistent peeps trying to sabotage her wedding by tampering with her cakes. And then, of course, the totally foreseeable happens . . . (Thank you, WE TV!)

To see all of our wedding season coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Bride Puts Her Bridesmaids on a Diet

GiggleSugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700

This week kicks off the Sugar network's "Wedding Planning Mania" coverage, which means there'll be a whole bunch of bridezillas up in here. WE TV has a series that follows brides-to-be around town while they hoot, holler, and make a hostile effort to plan their weddings. The 'zilla below ordered all of her beautiful (but "five pounds" overweight) bridesmaids to follow a strict no-carb diet - oh all right, with an itty-bitty spoonful of rice on the side. They've got ugly dresses to squeeze into!

To see all of our wedding season coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Handle This: She Has Expensive Expectations

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

After a rough year, your best friend decides to start her next one with a bang by throwing a somewhat elaborate birthday party. Before the shindig, she wants to get together with her closest girlfriends for dinner. Of course you’re all too happy to make her day special, and tell her you’re in for dinner.

It ends up being a group of about 15, which is pretty big for a group dinner, so you’re shocked when she chooses one of the nicest restaurants around - a three course meal goes for $70 not including drinks! None of you are flat broke, but for a group dinner this just seems completely over the top. You weren't planning on spending that much on her, but if you mention something you know she'll be terribly upset - she’s the bridezilla of birthday girls. So ladies, how would you handle this?

Source