TresSugar

Handle This: You Need Money, He's Willing to Loan It

DearSugar — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

The economy is terrible and your company’s taken a hit, so when you lose your job you’re devastated, but not shocked. The problem is you don’t have any prospects, no one’s hiring, and your rent is due. Your parents have deep financial woes of their own, so you can't turn to them. Your boyfriend is by no means well-off, but he currently is in a better situation than you. He’s offering to loan you money until you get a job, but you know money and romance don't mix. So how do you handle this?

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Are You Into Sharing Your Clothes?

DearSugar — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 10:47:55 -0700

When I was a kid, my Kindergarten teacher had to make a special call to my mom to say, "Your daughter has a hard time sharing." It was so true. I coveted the princess gown in the dress-up area, I never wanted to give up the swing at recess, and I never let anyone borrow my crayons. I knew other kids weren't as careful as I was, so I put my 6-year-old foot down and vowed never to share.

I grew out of that as I got older, when I realized that if I borrowed my friend's clothes, my wardrobe almost tripled. We'd even go shopping and plan our purchases based on what we all liked, so we'd have one of each.

I still continued to share occasionally, but I learned that certain friends weren't very responsible with my stuff so now I only share with a couple of close friends who I can really trust.

So what about you? Are you into sharing your clothes? Will you only let certain people borrow from you? Will you only lend away stuff you don't really care about? Or are you done with sharing altogether?

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Kelly's Ba-ack In "Let Me Borrow That Top!"

GiggleSugar — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 01:00:00 -0700

Remember Kelly and her out-of-control shoe obsession? Well, Kel's back. This time she's a little jealous of the teen queen next door. Girlfriend got a brand new top that Kelly must borrow. Will her psychotic, stalker-ish song and dance persuade the gal to hand it over? (And what's Margaret Cho got anything to do with anything here? But I love it.)

Will You Wear a "Sexy" Halloween Costume?

TresSugar — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I'm sure many of us are expecting to see some serious skin tomorrow night for Halloween. The holiday has turned into an excuse to sexify even the most innocent costumes (sexy Harry Potter is just not OK).

I have to admit that the Wonder Woman costume I borrowed is a little short, but I plan on wearing thick leggings underneath. Do you dress sexier than usual on Halloween, or do you channel your costume creativity in a more reserved way?

(And if you need some last-minute ideas, check out 10 costume suggestions inspired by powerful women.)

Would You Borrow or Lend Money to Your Significant Other?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:00:00 -0700

Most of you agree that lending money to friends is a bad idea, but what about lending money to your significant other? As we all know, times are tough - even for celebrities - so it makes sense to ask the person closest to you for help if need be. But is it a surefire way to jeopardize your relationship? And if you lent it, would you expect it back? Some of you might be in this predicament right now, so tell me how you feel about lending/borrowing money from your significant other.

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Brazen Borrower

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 06:10:42 -0800

Dear Sugar
A friend of mine keeps asking to borrow my clothes and accessories. I don't want to be lame about it but she's bigger than me so she always stretches my things out and she also never returns things clean. Once she even ruined a pair of shoes of mine and another time, she lost an earring. She apologized, but has never offered to replace the items or reimburse me for the cost. So now whenever she asks to borrow things, I always give her stuff that doesn't mean that much to me, but she's just asked me to borrow a very fancy shirt of mine for an event and I don't know what to say to her. Taken Advantage of Amanda

Dear Taken Advantage of Amanda
Sounds like your friend should do some shopping of her own. She is being irresponsible with your things and doesn't deserve to borrow anything else. She also sounds quite disrespectful. Tell her that shirt was something expensive that you treated yourself to, so you aren't comfortable lending it out. If you don't just say it, imagine how it will effect your friendship when you get your top back and there's a big stain on it? She needs to get a clue.

Group Therapy: Addicted to Borrowing

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 03:00:00 -0700

I'm in big time debt to my fiancé of two years - I'm talking serious financial debt. We met online two years ago, decided to meet up and one thing led to another. Things were wonderful, to say the least. We were very much in-love, but now I don't know if I can still honestly say that he loves me after all I've put him through. I owe him a total of around $10,000, which I've managed to accumulate over the past years. I'm not making any excuses as to why I owe that much; I accept responsibility on what has become of our relationship and I want to stop.

But it seems like I just can't. There are all sorts of excuses as to why I need to borrow money again, even though I'm aware of what it's doing to him and us. I want to stop but it's become an addiction and a bad habit that I can't break! What should I do? I don't want to lose him.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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You Asked: My Friend Keeps Asking to Borrow Money

DearSugar — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I recently became acquainted with a woman at my son's school. Since the area we live in is very affluent, and we are NOT, we sort of clung to each other for support. We talk daily about the kids, husbands, etc. However, recently, she has been asking to borrow money from me. I really don't have an issue as to if she'd pay me back - I trust that she would. The problem is, my husband and I barely survive on the money we do have. And she's not asking to borrow $20 or even $40, but a couple of hundred! I'm not a very direct person, I have to admit, I try to dance around the question saying, "Well, I have my rent due, and the car payment" thinking she'll drop it. But NO! She'll then ask, "Well, when's it due because I can pay you back before then." She has even gone as far to ask if I can take a direct deposit loan at my bank! At that point, I just ignore her constant calls. I'm really hurt that she would put me in this predicament.

She knows how much my husband makes, which isn't even close to 50k a year and she knows how we struggle. (The only reason we live in this area is because my landlord gave us a great deal on rent). I feel for her, they just moved out here from New York and she has no family and California can be an expensive place to live. But I also know that her husband makes 3 times what my husband makes and I don't feel it's my duty to bail her out just because they can't manage their money. How do I get her to quit asking for such big favors? She just hit me up today for $110!

--In a Sticky Situation Sally

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear In a Sticky Situation Sally--

I have to say right off the bat that friends and money don't mix. I completely understand if a friend asks for $20 every once in a while, but asking for hundreds of dollars is quite nervy, especially from an acquaintance! She definitely crossed the line here.

It sounds like she's kind of pushy and will keep asking until you either give it to her, or tell her "NO!" As hard as it may be, you need to be direct with her. Simply say, "I'm sorry, I wish I could help you, but I don't lend money to friends."

You've got your own family to take care of, and you shouldn't be made to feel like you have to lend her money just because she can't seem to manage hers. If she's a real friend, she'll understand and lay off the mooching. On the other hand, if she gets upset, then you know she's not a true friend after all and she only wants you for your money. Good luck Sally.

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DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: My Friend Borrowed My Underwear!

DearSugar — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 15:42:15 -0800

DEARSUGAR and Grossed Out Gretta need your help. Should she ask her friend to replace her underwear or just let it go? Some people have such bad manners.

Dear Sugar
Saturday night I had a bunch of girls sleep over after one too many cosmo's and a movie marathon. It was great and is something that we definitely need to do more often. Three of us piled into my bed and the other two slept on the couch.

The next morning one of the girls had to go to a family brunch and she asked if she could borrow an outfit. I said yes and I truly didn't mind at all. She's a good friend and she's clean and responsible so I didn't think twice about it really.

Well, the next week, she handed me the clothes back in a bag; all washed and folded and I was happy. However, when I got home, I saw that she had also borrowed my underwear. They too were washed and folded but there was a nasty period stain in the crotch.

Ew! I was totally skeeved out. I can't believe that she thought I wouldn't notice. I don't know what to do. She could have at least mentioned it. I am so disappointed that part of me wants to ask her to buy me a new pair of panties. Is that lame of me? What do you think? Grossed Out Gretta

You Have A Very Sweet But Dirty Friend Who Asks To Borrow Your Clothes. What Do You Do?

DearSugar — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 15:23:34 -0700

What if your good buddy morphed into a Nick Nolte look alike? While he was down and out, he asked you or your boyfriend for a favor. He wondered if you'd let him stay over at your house while you were away and borrow some clothes? What would you say?