TresSugar

Handle This: Your Friend With Benefits Is Seeing Someone on the Same Night

DearSugar — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Although your friends warned you about a friends-with-benefits situation, you did so anyways, and so far things have been going well. The sex is satisfying and you are both very respectful of the other, or so it seems.

One night when you have plans to meet up with your special friend for a lustful night, you decide to go grab dinner and drinks with girlfriends first. You’re totally shocked when you see your guy leading another woman out of the very same restaurant. You don’t care about dating other people, but to think of him seeing her on the same night that he plans on seeing you is just too strange. How do you handle this?

Source

The Rules of Casual Sex

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0700

We've discussed how a friends-with-benefits situation can lead to problems. But if you're single, sometimes you want to be able to enjoy a little nooky with a partner who you actually know, so there are some perks to having a trusted booty call. Of course it's all about finding a balance between physical intimacy and emotional detachment. In the hopes of helping achieve this perfect and elusive equilibrium of the casual hook-up, Daily Bedpost has formulated a list of 25 rules. I picked my favorites below, and threw in a few of my own, too.

Both parties must be either single or in open relationships.
Exes you are currently friends with make ideal booty call partners. However, if one party broke the other's heart, pursuing a booty-call arrangement is a no-no (at least for 24 months).
If you're not having fun, then by definition, it isn't a proper booty call.
Just because the sex is casual doesn't make it an appropriate topic for casual conversation. Be discreet.
Don't assume that duration implies relationship progression.

Click here to see the rest of Daily Bedpost's rules, and to check out my additions, just read more.

If you feel yourself getting emotionally invested, don't convince yourself that he's feeling the same way. In fact, as soon as you notice those feelings rising without reciprocation, end things.
Don't use someone who has feelings for you as your casual hook-up. Imagine how you'd feel if someone did that to you.
Even if you're not sleeping with anyone other than him, get STI tests regularly. (You don't know who else he might be having sex with.)

Source

Do Tell: What's the Appropriate Expiration Date for a Booty Call?

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0800

Booty calls - they are fun until one person wants more. Some people hold on and go with the flow in hopes that their late night lover will develop into a relationship, but sometimes that's just wishful thinking. So ladies, if you've ever been in this kind of a relationship, do tell: What's the appropriate expiration date for a booty call? How long would you keep it casual before wanting a commitment?

Source

Grab Bag: "I Was the Other Woman"

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700

I was the other woman. Should I tell? - The Frisky
Why men like it when women work. - Lemondrop
When your booty call wants to spoon. - Em & Lo
How to handle a hot and cold guy. - Your Tango
Female law student thinks "humping each other's brains out" is the recipe for success. - Jezebel
A mother's advice to her daughter about stress that could help us all. - Smitten
How did female ninja Uma turn into woman-with-a-pacifier-in-her-mouth Uma? - Double X
Confession: "I had rough sex online." - Self
Who wouldn't be in the mood for a raindrop symphony? - Urlesque

Bostonians Would Give Up Sex Over Cell Phones

TresSugar — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

What does it say about the future of the human race when people would rather give up sex for a year than go without a cell phone for the same amount of time? I guess it means that technological communication is truly becoming more important than old-fashioned face-to-face interaction, even the type of face-to-face interaction that involves having sex. Come on, people! What good is a booty call without the booty? Is sexting really better than sex?

In a survey sponsored by none other than Samsung Mobile, 31 percent of adults in Boston said they would rather give up sex for a year than go without cell phones for a year. Apparently, relying on email, hard-to-find pay phones, and immobile landlines is much more burdensome than forgoing sex.

Considering that I know people who literally sleep with their BlackBerrys, I suppose I'm not really that shocked by these results.

Grab Bag: Not All Women Are Female

TresSugar — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:50:36 -0700

You might want to rephrase that. - Probably Bad News
Am I a bad person for not wanting to help you move? - Lemondrop
Can a bad ex-boyfriend make a good booty call? - Em & Lo
Restaurant dishes too embarrassing to order by name. - The Consumerist
Prescription pills are everywhere. - The Frisky
OMG. The only known recording of Virginia Woolf talking about language - or anything. - Jezebel
How chatty is your boyfriend? - Smitten
Just what I need! Rat fur on eBay to ward off zombies. - Urlesque

Will This Ever Be More Than A Booty Call?

DearSugar — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar
I have been friendly with a guy at my college for more than two years. We have always been a little more than friends but the timing has never been right for us to start a relationship. He either had a girlfriend, or I had a boyfriend, etc... He is now single but having a hard time getting over his ex and always says he isn't ready to be in a relationship.

Since we are both unattached, we have been spending a lot of time together and it seems like one thing keeps leading to another. After class we cuddle, make out, hang out, and end up spending the night together. Whenever we say goodbye to each other, his kiss on the forehead seems much more involved than just friends with benefits.

He says all of the time that he's not ready to take on another girlfriend right now, but his actions toward me are saying just the opposite. Am I his rebound girl, or will this relationship grow into something more meaningful and solid? On the Prowl Paulina

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear On the Prowl Paulina
Friends with benefits can get very complicated. Does your friend have any idea how you truly feel about him? Have you and your pal always had a physical relationship or is this new since his split? The only way you are going to get to the bottom of this new found kinship is by talking to him.

Although his actions are speaking louder than his words, you should never assume his intentions or someone is bound to get hurt. The next time you are together, try saying something nonchalant and light like this: "Doesn't it feel like we are dating? I guess you couldn't stay single forever!" and see what his reaction is.

Since your tone was in a joking manner, you have some leeway to protect yourself if you don't hear the response you were hoping for. You can always hope for the best, but please prepare yourself for the worst. I hope it all works out, it sure would be ideal to end up with your best friend. Good luck.

Front Page: Kris Allen Wins American Idol Upset

TresSugar — Thu, 21 May 2009 08:00:26 -0700

Kris Allen beat Adam Lambert to win American Idol last night. The guy next door triumphed over the guyliner. - BuzzSugar
New York City prosecutors have accused four men of plotting to bomb a Jewish synagogue with the intent of committing jihad. - Reuters
In a somewhat strange resurgence of relevancy, Dick Cheney will deliver a televised speech on torture today, facing off with President Obama, who's also set to give a speech on the subject. - New York Times
The man who lent his voice to Mickey Mouse for 32 years has died. - Entertainment Weekly
Craigslist began monitoring its adult services page yesterday, but not before a reporter went on a final booty call - for research, of course. - The Daily Beast
Amy Winehouse has been hospitalized for the third time in St. Lucia, where she is recording her third album. - The Mirror
Less than 20 percent of this year's college grads are finding jobs. - ABC News

Photo courtesy of Fox

Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Should I Take the Job For the Money?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 10:30:00 -0800

Dear E. Jean,

I've received an unusual job offer: boxing ring girl. What do you think? The pay is $1,000 a match, and I could really use it. But I can’t decide if walking around a ring is something I'd look at in a different light if I didn’t need the money. I'd be in a bikini or cutoff t-shirts and what they call "booty shorts." I'm very comfortable with my body, but I don't know how I'd feel with 5,000 men there. - Knock Out

To see E. Jean's answer, read more.

Knock-Knock Sweetheart,

Did you say . . . riiiiiing girl!? Auntie Eeee is celebrated for her gentility, but if she could grease up like a stick of butter and bump and grind around a ring holding up a card while wearing nothing but her underpants, it might do wonders for her spiritual life.

But $1,000 sounds a bit off. I called the fabled fight promoter Cedric Kushner, CEO of Gotham Boxing Inc. Mr. Kushner said that for local "cup shows," young ladies receive $100-$125 per night and "for the big title bouts at Caesars Palace and Madison Square Garden, the rate is $150-$200." So somebody, my dear, is pulling your booty shorts.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.

Link Time!

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:00:00 -0800

Check out the 30 things single women should not do before turning 30 - The Frisky
Holiday dating dos and don'ts - Glamour.com
Is text sex cheating? - Daily Bedpost
Girly golddiggers are reeling from recession - Jezebel
Check out these one night stand dos and don'ts - Tango
Sex in high school - What's normal? - gURL sex ed blog
Is foreplay overrated? - DollyMix
What do men really think of curly hair? - Divine Caroline
Have you ever forgotten the name of your booty call? - Truehookupconfessions.com