TresSugar

Do Tell: Do You Blame Emotional Outbursts on Your Period?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

Being in tune with our bodies makes dealing with our periods much more manageable, but as we all know, PMS symptoms can differ from month to month. Some of us get emotional, some get cranky, and some of us have to deal with annoying bloating and sore boobs. But just like men tend to blame our bad moods on that time of the month, many women do too!

According to the March issue of Glamour magazine, 58 percent of women polled admit to blaming their emotional outbursts on their period. While I am no doubt emotional during that time of the month, I think blaming PMS for a hot temper is a cop out. I might be alone on this one so do tell, do you ever blame your emotional outbursts on your period?

Source

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Taking It Personally

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

We all have bad days, and I'm sure it's also safe to say that we've all taken our aggression out on people that didn't deserve it. When that happens, it's usually just the anger talking, but it's sometimes hard to decipher logic from feelings. However, Emily Post says:

Don't automatically take it personally. Sometimes the offender has had a terrible day or is simply in a bad mood. Give him the benefit of the doubt by imagining what he might be going through - the string of a recent confrontation with someone, a family problem, trouble at work, the illness of a loved one.

While all those scenarios have the ability to alter someone's mood, tell me, is not taking it personally easier said than done?

Source

Who Do You Blame: The Cheater or the Homewrecker?

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700

In case you aren't up to date on your celebrity gossip, Sienna Miller is onto her next relationship, albeit still "rumored" with Balthazar Getty. When I saw the pictures of them together, my first reaction was obviously disappointment (he's married with four kids for crying out loud!) but I have to say my anger was directed more towards Sienna than Balthazar. Of course, it takes two to tango, but since she's the unattached, unfazed part of the equation, it's easier for me to call her the homewrecker than it is him. Unfair - yes, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way. When it comes to infidelity, placing blame doesn't make the problems go away yet it's still an automatic response so ladies, tell me, who do you think is to blame in this particular situation?

Source

5 Gays Talk Project Runway Fall, at Least One Blames Women

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:00:46 -0800

From moving to the West Coast, to the influx of celebrity judges, to casting drama over talent, five gay men have offered their theories on why viewership of Project Runway fell 25 percent between the premiere of season six and its ninth episode. One faults having three female finalists (though that happened on Bravo's final season too) saying:

"I am all for diversity and playing to your audience’s demographic, but please. And not to sound completely misogynistic, but three women as finalists? No fags? Really? These women were probably the most talented, but obviously when you tell the Bunim/Murray casting juggernaut, 'This is Lifetime: Television for Women, not talented gay male fashion designers,' you get what you get!"

While he jests (mostly), women probably miss the Christian Sirianos who sharpen their tongues before even threading a needle each morning just as much as gay men do. But what do I know? I only watched the first three episodes.

Source: Lifetime

War on Drugs Makes Women the Enemy

TresSugar — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:00:45 -0800

If you've been following the story of Cleveland's alleged serial killer Anthony Sowell, you know it's horrific. Eleven female bodies have been found in and around the man's home, leaving the public wondering how could these crimes go on undetected for years. Writing in the Daily Beast, Cleveland journalist Mansfield Frazier says he knows why: Sowell was able to kill drug-addicted women without anyone noticing because the war on drugs targets women. Let's examine the evidence he uses to support this allegation after the jump.

Website du Jour: Stop Making That Duckface

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0800

You know you've seen it. You might even be guilty of perpetrating it. I'm talking about what the site Anti-duckface.com calls the "duck face," which they describe as something between a kissy face and a pout.

Anti-duckface seems to blame MySpace for hosting duckfaces, admonishing its pouters to, "Stop doing it. It isn't sexy."

All this prompted me to ask: why duckface? My theory is that it's a mock sexy face. People want to look sexy, but they also want to appear modest, so duckface is some weird (failed) compromise. In any case, here's to hoping this is the first nail in the coffin of duckface. It's time to end this blight to humanity.

He Doesn't Seem to Listen? Blame His Brain

TresSugar — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:30:00 -0700

I've been lucky to have boyfriends who didn't just love talking like I do, but who were good listeners, too. Maybe they were in the minority, or maybe they worked hard to overcome what many scientists say is a male brain hardwired to keep conversation short and informational.

Compared to women's brains, researchers conclude that men's brains not only have fewer verbal centers, but their brains produce less serotonin and oxytocin. The former aids in calming a person down and the latter with bonding.

Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen's fascinating book You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation, focused on how men and women are socialized to have different conversational styles. Women, she argued, use talk to connect emotionally to another person, while men use conversation to impart knowledge. If you want to hear tips on how men and women can better communicate, then read more.

So whether we look to biology or society for the differences in men and women's conversational styles, the differences seem to be there. How can we bridge the gap? Psychotherapist Robi Ludwig has some tips. For men, she suggests that they remind themselves that although they think women talk too much, take too long to get to the point, or don't allow for lulls in conversation, that women are talking to connect to them, so they should listen to show emotional support. Women don't necessarily want you to solve the problems they're telling you about - just listen. And just because you're not fascinated with what she's saying, she probably listens to a lot of stuff with rapt attention about which she couldn't care less.

And women? Pay attention to timing. Don't bring things up when he's trying to unwind, try to keep it short and to the point (this would be impossible for me!), and make sure he's listening by pausing and maintaining eye contact. Or, you could use a strategy some of my female friends have taken: go to your female friends if you have something you really want someone to listen to!

Do Tell: What's the Sexiest Foreign Accent?

TresSugar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0800

Maybe we can blame the foreign exchange students in high school or the soap operas we watched that featured mysterious foreigners whose arrival shook up small towns like the fictional Port Charles. Whatever the cause, a lot of chicks love a foreign accent.

Well, the results of a worldwide poll asking 5,000 women who has the sexiest accent have yielded an answer: the Irish. For decades, French men held the title. (Tant pis, mes amis!) The Irish and their sexy (if indecipherable) lilts were followed by the accents of Italian, Scottish, French and Australian men, in that order. (Americans were in tenth place.)

If you like a man with a foreign accent, what do you think is the sexiest?

Say What? Man With "Manopause" Blames Hormones

TresSugar — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:00:00 -0700

"So, with the help of Lupron, I spent a few months aboard the Good Ship Menopause with all the physical baggage that entails. It’s a trip that most men don’t expect to take . . .

And, guys, when your significant female other bursts into tears at the drop of a dinner plate or turns on you like a rabid pit bull - whether she’s pregnant, having her period or in the throes of menopause - believe her when she blames it on the hormones."

- Dana Jennings, in a New York Times piece about how being on hormone therapy for an aggressive case of prostate cancer gave him menopause-like symptoms including hot flashes, unexpected crying jags, intense food cravings, and weight gain.

Source

Chicago High School Has 115 Teen Moms

TresSugar — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:15:33 -0700

There's a serious teen pregnancy crisis at Robeson High School in Chicago. Out of 800 female students, 115 are either pregnant or already moms. That's about one out of seven girls. School officials say a number of factors are to blame. When discussing the problem, the principal pointed to issues at home, such as absent fathers or financial trouble. He said: "It can be a lot of things that are happening in the home or not happening in the home."

The school hopes that setting up a day care center will help mothers graduate. Since this is such a widespread problem at Robeson, perhaps it's time the school steps up its prevention efforts by figuring out how it can better address sex education and help these girls think more critically about their futures. Maybe they should try that program in North Carolina that contributes $1 to a girl's college scholarship fund for every day she remains not-pregnant.