TresSugar

Love It or Leave It: The Little Pink Card

DearSugar — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

I just came across this handy dandy tool that could make life a whole lot easier for the men out there! It's called The Little Pink Card, and it's a one-stop place for women to jot down important dates (anniversary and birthday) and her likes (favorite flower, designer, store, candy, etc.) so the man in her life knows exactly what to buy her, and when. It's designed to fit right inside his wallet for easy access! So what do you think - do you love this pretty cheat-sheet, or would you leave it?

You Asked: Do I Have a Right to Be Upset?

DearSugar — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have birthdays two weeks apart; his is first. I treated him to dinner and got him a gift that he had mentioned wanting. When my birthday rolled around, he got me a card and we went to a festival together. It's been almost two weeks since then, and he's taken zero initiative to take me out or get me a birthday gift. I can't help feeling slighted. Neither of us is made of money, but it wasn't that hard for me to spend $75 to $100 on him, and I know he could do the same for me.

I understand that guys can be oblivious about the weirdest things sometimes, so I don't want to jump to conclusions that he's just being a jerk, but my feelings are hurt. What's a good way to ask him why he didn't really acknowledge my birthday without sounding selfish or spoiled? - Disappointed Dana

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Disappointed Dana,

I'm a big birthday person, so you've come to the right place! I'd be upset if I were you too, but before you start harboring resentment toward your boyfriend, I'd just open up and tell him how you feel. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being disappointed that he didn't make more of an effort on your one special day of the year, but you're right, sometimes guys just don't get that kind of stuff, which is why it's so important for you to talk to him.

Explain that it's not about the lack of gift per se, but more so that he didn't make an effort to make plans or make you feel special on your birthday. Unfortunately, what's done is done, so try not to hold a grudge. Hopefully he'll understand where you're coming from and he'll be able to make it up to you, or at least apologize.

Source

Group Therapy: How Can I Get My Boyfriend to Plan Something Romantic?

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My birthday is coming up next month, and I've asked my boyfriend of over a year to plan something for just him and me. You'd think that this would be simple for a man to do - go to my favorite restaurant and surprise me with a nice present and a card - but for my man, this is an act of torture. For Valentine's Day and for our one-year anniversary, I asked him to plan something simple for us three weeks in advance. I even gave him ideas (a picnic at a park, a romantic nature walk, or fondue) and told him to ask his friends for ideas.

Two days before the event I asked him how his planning was going, and after a bit of prodding, he admitted that he didn't plan anything because he hated to. So, as usual, I set up a nice dinner for us and we went to the mall together so that he could find me a present that he knew I would like. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I plan everything we do. I set up camping trips with his friends; I plan bowling nights or clubbing nights, but he can't figure out how to make reservations to save his life. He grew up in another country where restaurants and reservations are not very common, so me asking him to plan something nice is like asking him to pull his fingernails off one by one.

I know it may sound a bit shallow or selfish of me trying to get him to take me out somewhere special, but it's really not. He could plan a walk on the beach with hot dogs for dinner and I would be ecstatic. I just want him to put in the effort. I don't think it's that difficult, and he is a smart guy. He just needs some help, and he's too embarrassed to ask his buddies. What can I say or do to push him in the right direction for my birthday plans? I know he's willing, so I want to make it really easy for him without having to do it myself. Any ideas would be wonderful!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Handle This: She Has Expensive Expectations

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

After a rough year, your best friend decides to start her next one with a bang by throwing a somewhat elaborate birthday party. Before the shindig, she wants to get together with her closest girlfriends for dinner. Of course you’re all too happy to make her day special, and tell her you’re in for dinner.

It ends up being a group of about 15, which is pretty big for a group dinner, so you’re shocked when she chooses one of the nicest restaurants around - a three course meal goes for $70 not including drinks! None of you are flat broke, but for a group dinner this just seems completely over the top. You weren't planning on spending that much on her, but if you mention something you know she'll be terribly upset - she’s the bridezilla of birthday girls. So ladies, how would you handle this?

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Handle This: Your Friend Wants to Bring Her Baby to Your B-Day

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:00:00 -0800

You’re having a birthday party at your house, and you’ve invited all of your friends to come. One of your long-time girlfriends calls you a few days before the party to let you know that she’s actually coming. You’re completely shocked because ever since she got married and had a baby, you hardly ever see her, especially at social gatherings.

She asks you if it’s okay to bring her eight-month-old son to the occasion. You don’t want to flat out say no, but you try to urge her not to bring him. You explain that there will be drinking, loud music, and no other children there. It seems like she agrees that it's not going to be a very kid-friendly environment, until she calls you a day later and says that she’s going to bring him anyway because her husband will be out of town and she doesn’t have a sitter. You feel badly, but you just don’t want her baby at your birthday, so how do you handle this?

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The How-To Lounge: Feeling Good About Turning 30

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 10:00:00 -0700

For some reason, turning 30 has a very evil stigma attached to it that no one seems to know how to kick. It's a funny phenomenon because once the actual D-Day is over, women seem to feel more comfortable in their own skin. If the big day is looming for any of you, here are some tips to help combat your fears of turning the big 3-0.

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The older you get the harder each birthday becomes, but keep it all relative. There is nothing you can do to stop time, so instead of panicking about yet another birthday, try to embrace the upcoming new chapter in your life
Make a list of all your accomplishments thus far and make another list of goals you want to achieve before your next birthday. Seeing what you've already conquered is bound to make you feel better about your age
Instead of having a pity party, have a celebratory party! If you plan a big blow out or a fabulous girls' trip, your birthday will be something you look forward to instead of dread
If you're not the kind of person who likes to be the center of attention, get out of town for the weekend with your family or some close friends and escape from your everyday life -- it will be easier to let go of all your hang ups associated with turning 30 if you're too busy having fun

I know that each woman feels differently about getting old, but just keep in mind, 30 is the new 20 and it's only going to get better from here!

If you all have any other helpful tips, please share them in the comments below.

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Asking too much for my birthday?

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:28:42 -0800

I recently had a birthday and though it wasn't a big one, it was the first I spent with my boyfriend and though he did some things, he didn't wow me like I was hoping. For his previous birthday, we weren't together due to taking a break (which we got over and are now having a really good time) but after we got back to together, I got him gifts, took him out to dinner, the whole nine yards. For my birthday (I was born on New Year's Day), he got me two gifts (one of which was something he had been wanting for a long time), took me to dinner (but I had to pay for my half), and made me a cake. Through all this, his sister and her friend were our house guests and I did take the time to clean up after them and cook for them, even on my birthday. My question for you ladies is this: how much is too much to expect on your birthday? What should significant others do for birthdays? Am I being a spoiled, unappreciative brat? I remember a similar DearSugar question a while ago but I wanted to see what everyone had to say. Thanks in advance!

Birthdays: Don't Get Grumpy, Get Thoughtful

DearSugar — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Birthdays can be very public or very personal, depending on how you feel about them. Sure, there is potential for parties, surprises, and presents, but some people would prefer to celebrate silently without being the center of attention.

Whether you're big on birthdays or not, here's an interesting exercise. Every year, devote some time to writing in a journal and reflecting on the past year. Write down new experiences and things you've learned since your last birthday. It could be anything from an eye-opening trip to a funny anecdote or new insight into yourself. Record some favorite moments and reflect on new friends made. Think about what you're thankful for.

When you're done with that, outline what you're looking forward to in the next year. Not only will it make you feel better about turning another year older, but it will also be a valuable and entertaining way to look back on annual milestones.

Do any of you do this or something similar? If not, tell me how you commemorate birthdays below.

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Do Tell: How Do You Feel About Your Birthday?

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:00:23 -0700

Some women embrace their birthdays with unbridled excitement, either as an excuse to celebrate with friends or because they like being the center of attention. Other people - especially as they get older - choose to mark their birthdays quietly or not celebrate them at all. Then, of course, there are some folks who even celebrate their half birthdays!

Are you the type who goes all out in celebration of yourself, or would you rather ignore the fact that you're getting older? On that note, has your attitude toward your birthday changed as you've aged? Do tell: Are you a birthday girl? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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A Doggone Birthday Disaster

GiggleSugar — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:00:00 -0800

Birthday cake is sooo overrated. Birthday balloons, on the other hand...