TresSugar

Group Therapy: Am I Being a Big Baby?

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:00:00 -0700

My brothers both married in the past three years, and by coincidence, their wives share the same birthday. Mine happens to be seven days later. My immediate and extended family has already fallen into the habit of celebrating all three of our birthdays together, and I don't like it. I would much rather have a nice dinner with my family on my actual birthday, as opposed to a hectic barbecue with a bunch of people I may not even consider close to me (like my sister-in-law's family, for example). Would I be totally out of line to request my own birthday celebration this year?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Birthdays: Don't Get Grumpy, Get Thoughtful

DearSugar — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Birthdays can be very public or very personal, depending on how you feel about them. Sure, there is potential for parties, surprises, and presents, but some people would prefer to celebrate silently without being the center of attention.

Whether you're big on birthdays or not, here's an interesting exercise. Every year, devote some time to writing in a journal and reflecting on the past year. Write down new experiences and things you've learned since your last birthday. It could be anything from an eye-opening trip to a funny anecdote or new insight into yourself. Record some favorite moments and reflect on new friends made. Think about what you're thankful for.

When you're done with that, outline what you're looking forward to in the next year. Not only will it make you feel better about turning another year older, but it will also be a valuable and entertaining way to look back on annual milestones.

Do any of you do this or something similar? If not, tell me how you commemorate birthdays below.

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Granny's Birthday Gift Is, Well . . .

GiggleSugar — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:00:00 -0700

Don't let Granny fool you. She may act all surprised, but she put this item on her birthday wish list. It's a far cry from a set of knitting needles, but it'll make her happy. In the end. (Thanks, College Humor!)

Handle This: You Don’t Have a Gift in Return

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

You and a friend each recently had a birthday, and although you were out of town for yours, she’s having a party to celebrate hers with a group of your mutual friends. You consider hunting for a gift before you go, but since it’s a large group party you opt not to and assume that it won't be a big deal.

Much to your dismay, when you arrive at the party the birthday girl hands you a huge present. You watch her eyes take you in and realize that she’s noticed you don’t have anything in return. It's completely awkward and you feel like you have to say something. How would you handle this?

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Group Therapy: I'm Broke and It's My Boyfriend's Birthday

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 11:00:00 -0700

I am totally and completely broke - about a penny away from maxing out my credit card; I'm a recent college grad with a new (and low-paying) career. My boyfriend is the best man in the entire universe. He deserves the world from me for everything we've been through together for the past two and a half years. He has always been my number one fan and my greatest support system, and I'd love to be able to show him that. What can I do next weekend for his birthday so that it's still special even though we don't have a lot of cash? Last year was a really bad birthday for him, so I don't want to end up in that boat again. Any gift ideas?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Where Do You Stand: Buying Gifts For Friends

DearSugar — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Once you reach a certain age, like around the time you're too old for pool parties, slumber parties, and a day at the rollerskating rink, gift giving for friends becomes slightly more complicated. Buying a $20 or $50 gift every time another friend’s birthday rolls around can get very expensive, and I, for one, am not a fan of the generic gift; it seems even less thoughtful than not getting anything at all.

Though of course it’s important to acknowledge the significance of a friend’s special day, I can’t say that buying a gift always seems necessary past a certain age. But what about you, where do you stand when it comes to giving gifts to friends? Is it a must in your book, or does a chummy “happy birthday” email suffice?

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Handle This: A Surprise You Don't Want

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 09:00:35 -0700

Your birthday is coming up, and you’re really excited to see your family and hang out with your girlfriends. Life has been so hectic lately that you haven’t seen anyone but your boyfriend in what feels like months, so you’re glad to use your birthday as an excuse to get everyone together.

Based on some strange behavior from your boyfriend, and your friends' sudden disinterest in getting together, you’re starting to realize that there might be something going on that you don’t know about. After a quick look at the computer’s Internet history, you realize your boyfriend is planning a weekend away for both of you. You love the gesture, but you really just don’t want to go. You were looking forward to a weekend with friends, so how would you handle this?

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This or That: Your BF or Your BFF Forgets Your B-Day?

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

While you’ve never been one to make a huge deal out of your birthday, you’ve always liked to celebrate it with loved ones. This year, life has been so hectic that you don’t even realize that it's that time of year again, but you find yourself actually looking forward to celebrating. Unfortunately, things turn out less festive than you expected when the closest person in your life completely forgets the big day. Would it be worse if …

This: You wait for your best friend to call all day in hopes that she’ll take you out for a bite or at least come over for a drink, but you never hear from her? You’ve been friends since high school, and if anyone other than your parents should remember your birthday, it’s her!

Or …

That: After waiting for a mention of your birthday from your boyfriend all day, you assume he has something planned, but instead, the day has just slipped his mind? You’ve both been busy, but it’s upsetting that you had to actually remind him on your birthday what the day was.

Which is worse?

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Do Tell: How Do You Feel About Your Birthday?

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:00:23 -0700

Some women embrace their birthdays with unbridled excitement, either as an excuse to celebrate with friends or because they like being the center of attention. Other people - especially as they get older - choose to mark their birthdays quietly or not celebrate them at all. Then, of course, there are some folks who even celebrate their half birthdays!

Are you the type who goes all out in celebration of yourself, or would you rather ignore the fact that you're getting older? On that note, has your attitude toward your birthday changed as you've aged? Do tell: Are you a birthday girl? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Group Therapy: My Best Friend Blew Me Off

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:00:00 -0700

My best friend's birthday was the other day. I called him in the morning to wish him a happy birthday before I went to work. We decided that we'd reconnect after work and get together. He called me when I got home that evening and said he had to finish some homework (he's going for his MA), and he'd give me a call back so we could get together later. Meanwhile, I baked him a cake, wrapped his gift, and got all ready to go. I ended up watching television while I waited.

When he still hadn't called by 8:30 pm, I couldn't help getting annoyed. I decided to try calling him, but I just got his voicemail. I left a message, asking him to give me a call as soon as possible so I could know what the plan was. Needless to say, he didn't call. I was so upset, I ended up eating the cake myself and going to bed.

The next day he emailed me to tell me he was sorry for bailing on me. I emailed him back letting him know that I could not believe he blew me off - he could have just called to cancel. I also told him that I was not going to talk about it in an email, but that we could talk about it later. It's been about a day and a half now and I haven't heard from him. It's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm in the right in this situation, but I still feel terrible. I'm completely obsessing over this, and I need some advice. What should I do?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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