TresSugar

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Stood Someone Up?

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I asked you yesterday what would be worse: to go on a nightmare blind date or be stood up and so far, 53 percent of you felt that being stood up was far worse. I happen to agree - being rejected by someone who hasn't even given you a chance sure is a blow to your ego. But all the times I talk about the notion of standing someone up, I've asked you about being stood up, not standing someone up. So ladies, now's your chance to come clean: have you ever stood up an impending date?

Source

40 Years Later: Woman in Famous Photo Recognizes Herself

TresSugar — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0700

I love this story! The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art is currently exhibiting Robert Frank's photographs from his landmark 1959 work The Americans, widely viewed as the photographic analogue to Jack Kerouac's beat classic On the Road. Frank and Kerouac both had similar sensibilities, wanting to show the sprawling, diverse, and melancholy side of postwar America. Kerouac, in fact, wrote the introduction to The Americans. Regarding the above photograph, "Elevator - Miami Beach, 1955," Kerouac asks, "That little ole lonely elevator girl looking up sighing in an elevator full of blurred demons, what's her name & address?"

Turns out, "lonely elevator girl" turned 50-something Sharon Collins saw an exhibit of "The Americans" a few years ago and recognized herself as the 15-year-old in the photograph: "When San Francisco's Museum of Modern Art first opened, I think it was more than 10 years ago . . . I stood in front of this particular photograph for probably a full five minutes, not knowing why I was staring at it, and then it really dawned on me that the girl in the picture was me." To hear what Collins has to say about the photograph, read more

An NPR reporter asked Collins what made her come forward as the elevator girl now and not ten years ago when she recognized herself. She said that a recent San Francisco Chronicle review of the exhibit used this photo on the front page of the entertainment section, and when she told her husband and sons about it, they urged her to call the paper.

Sharon Collins was then 15-year-old Sharon Goldstein, living in Miami Beach and working as an elevator girl at the Sherry Frontenac Hotel in 1955. Her mother was single, so instead of being able to go to Summer camp, Sharon worked to help out. Asked what she thought of the photo, Collins explains what it was she thinks Frank was able to capture in his image and Kerouac in his words:

"I think he saw in me something that most people didn't see. You know, I have a big smile and a big laugh. So people see . . . one thing in me. And I suspect that somehow Robert Frank and Jack Kerouac saw something that was deeper that only people who were really close to me can see, and it's not necessarily loneliness, it's, I don't know, dreaminess."

I've always wondered whether people in documentary photos ever know that they're in museum exhibits. It's fascinating to hear about one woman who discovered that a wistful expression from her teenage years became an iconic photograph in the oeuvre of a major American artist!

Robert Frank/Courtesy National Gallery of Art

Ask a Yankee Doodle Dandy: Is 30 Old?

TresSugar — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:00:03 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. To help us wrap up this past patriotic weekend, a person born on the Fourth of July will offer her common sense advice today. You can submit questions here.

Today's Question:

I'm almost 31-years-old and single. I broke up with my boyfriend of three years about two years ago because he cheated on me and I could not live with that any longer. I was scared to be alone, but I hoped to find someone who loved me and stood by me. Well it's been two years and nothing. I actually have been jilted by three guys whom I liked. They all came on strong and then just vanished. I've gone over it a hundred times in my head to see if I was doing anything to drive them away, but came up with nothing. So I don't know why three guys thought I was not worthy of being with. I'm finding it really hard to meet anyone now. I'm feeling disillusioned and my self-esteem has taken a beating for sure.

What's not helping is that I have a 25-year-old co-worker who is also a friend. She does not let one day go without reminding me how young she is and how everything is working out in her life. She is going to school for what she wanted and quitting the job that we work at together. She puts the job down, she puts me down for being 30. I'm just tired of listening to it.

Well between being single and listening to her talk like this, I feel like my life totally sucks. I feel like such a failure for being single still . . . for being at this job . . . for just about everything.

What do I do?

To see what our Yankee Doodle Dandy has to say, read more.

Dear 30-year-old,

No matter how badly you are feeling right now, I feel like I should be directing my advice to your poor co-worker. Why is she so unhappy? She may act like she has it all, but trust me - something is eating away at her and that's why she is picking on you. When a person feels good about herself, she naturally wants to spread happiness. But don't waste your time trying to figure out her problem; just treat her kindly and make excuses to avoid hanging around her.

Now about you. I am sorry that you have had lousy situations with these guys. Obviously men find you date-able, but you have not met the right one. Oh well, you're only 30 years old; you've got so much time ahead of you. There are many women that I know who are in desirable committed relationships with men that they met after they were 35. The secret is: don't be influenced by guys who come on strong. When you meet a man, be sure to be yourself so he knows who you are from the beginning. Develop a relaxed attitude about dating. There is something very attractive about a woman who is slightly disinterested. Concentrate for a few months on being good to yourself. How about a little splurge to compensate for this dating pain? A facial, expensive purse, tickets to an opera?

About your job. If you really don't like it, investigate other opportunities. In this recession, you may want to thank your stars that you have a job, and find ways to grow a little at work. (Do not discuss this with your co-worker.) Every Monday, go into the office with a plan to do something differently, to change a routine. And each week, determine, by your actions and words, to improve the mood of one person at work, in your family, or circle of friends.

A wonderful love is in your future, and then you will experience not only fireworks, but also the lasting glow of a Roman candle.

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 11:56:52 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"Ready for coffee yet?" I e-mailed Leah, "I am DYING to tell you about my crazy weekend with Jordon...." "I can't" was the quick response. Curious since she was always so eager to hear the details of my one night stands that turn into a full weekend. Wait, was Jordan his name again? "Okay, well then, when?" Was my impatient reply. What was going on with her? "In 1 hour, I'm dealing with something right now. Star-bee's, k?" Leah responded. "K" I said. What was I going to do for one whole hour? I really wanted to tell her about Jordon, and find out what was going on with her!

I arrived at starbucks an hour later. That's odd, she usually arrives before me whenever we make plans to meet up I hope she's ok. She arrived 15 minutes late. I had already ordered my mochiato, and she went and ordered a white blueberry unsweetened shaken iced tea. She sat down and it began to rain outside.

"So what was the big hold up?," I asked Leah. "I was making an appointment for Caleb." Caleb was her three year old son and she just recently went back to work since having him. She had been freaking out ever since he has started pre-school. She cant stand being away from him for a full 8 hrs. She is constantly making appointments for him, always worried he has caught something from another child. "Well I want to tell you all about Jordon! Or wait...was his name George? Haha--"

"Angela!? Are you ever going to grow up! You're 34! What's up with all of the flings all the time!?," Leah screamed at me. "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez. What is your problem?" I was shocked. Leah had never responded this way to my flings before. Leah burst into tears. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I've just been so jealous lately because I've been tied down with Josh and the baby. I miss our fun time together and I'm stressed about the baby and working. I'm so sorry."

Okay, so this was new. I carefully thought about it and then said. "I totally understand but you gotta remember not everything's greener on the other side of the fence. Granted we always had a blast in the past but remember all the heartache you were put through? Look at what you have now," I said with a smile. "I on the other hand..." "I am jumping from one bed to another at a pace that would stand freud's hair on end. Your son is beautiful, healthy and adores his wonderful mommy. Stop already. You can live the wild life through me! Now listen to MY story..."

Jordon's truck rumbled down the old dirt road as the blindfold tugged uncomfortably at Angela's hair. She strained her neck with the hope that it might loosen the cloth's unyielding grasp but with each bump she began to forget about the black and green stripped blindfold "Where are we going?" begged Angela. "We have at least been driving for 3 hours and as being the one who is temporarily blind I demand some freedom for me eyes."

Jordon only laughed and told Angela that their destination was only just around the bend but as they turned the sharp corner a huge blur cascaded upon their windshield and glass was now covering the blindfold that had transformed into her protection instead of her momentary handicap.

"Oh sh*t, oh my god, Angela are you okay?" cried Jordon. "Wh-what did we hit?" squeaked Angela and as she reached up to untie her bittersweet companion she felt it was bloody and when she removed her blindfold she saw that they hit a man. They quickly rushed to see is the man was badly hurt. "Oh my God!" Angela exclaimed. She was also surpised to see that the man they hit is her ex-boyfriend. "Travis are you okay?" Angela said while her trembling hands touched the face of the man they hit.

Leah stops Angela midway through her story. "Wait wait wait... what!? Are you serious?!" Leah exclaimed. "Of course not!" reassured Angela, "I was trying to shock you so you wouldn't think about the problems you're blowing out of proportion since we both know consoling you doesn't work. You know I love you Leah and will always be there for you whenever you need me." "Goodness gracious! I was starting to think you've gone crazy with that story of yours! So tell me what really happened with Jorden or Goerge or whatever the heck his name is haha," said Leah.

"We met at a party and flirted like all night. We went back to my place and had the best sex ever." "Are you going to see him again?" asked Leah. "I didn't get his number, or full name for that matter. Too bad, because I thought there was something there. He did however leave behind a briefcase with the initials "G.B.H." I then lifted up the briefcase and put it on the table. "Well then, his name is most likely George then.

Did he get your number?" "No," I said sadly. "This is really nice leather. I think it is italian." She tried to open it, but it was locked. "I know, it smells lovely. Should we break it open and try to find him? I so badly want to see him again. "

Leah carries around everything in her purse. Her husand, Josh, had recently given her a very expensive pocket knife. She took out a screwdriver and screwed out the screws holding the lock. The briefcase had been made for style, not security. They popped it open and inside was paper work and objects in plastic bags.

"Omg he's a lawyer!! It was Geordan B. Hoffler, the top prosecutor in the state!! He is doing that high profile case against Lindsay Lohan today."

Lindsay Lohan had recently been arrested, again, but this time for breaking into Philisophy cosmetics. It had stuned the media recently as to why. "Geordan?" I asked. "His parents are loaded and his father's name was Georgan, an his mother Jordan. His siblings are Georgianna, Skye, and Taylor. The own a hotel chain across Europe, but like it here in the US. Geordan wanted to do more than be an heir, and went to Yale."

When Leah was pregnant she spent time reading all about socialites.
"Well, we better get down to the courthouse then and get him his briefcase." As they stumbled through the crowd at Starbucks, all Leah could think about is how jealous she was of Angela's wealthy one night stand.

She looked at Angela from the corner of her eye. Angela stood 5'7" tall and her long, auburn hair cascaded in waves down to her shoulder blades. Her big, hazel eyes gave the illusion of two planet earths floating in her sockets. Leah knew she was plain in comparison to Angela, with her short, blond bob and grayish-blue eyes. Her skin was much more fair is color than Angela's too. I wish I was a passionate sultriest, maybe then my husband and I wouldn’t be fighting over these... "Papers!..", exclaimed Leah and Angela stopped in her tracks.
"What?!" , inquired Angela..."Papers?" "Oh nothing, I was just remembering some papers I had to sign for work, but they can wait," answered Leah. They can always wait, she thought. She had never wanted divorce. They hopped into Leah's car and hurried down to the courthouse but was unable to get through due to the enormous amount of paparazzi filling up the streets.

"What are we going to do?," asked Angela. "There's no way we'd find Geordan in this chaos." Angela who had insisted that she drive, took a sharp u-turn and headed back towards the coffee shop. "Where are we going?" asked Leah. "I thought we were going to find Geordan no matter what?" "Oh shhh, we are going, trust me alright," bellowed Angela as she swerved through the Lindsay Lohan fans and haters.

The streets were full of old brick buildings that were now being obstructed by thousands of human bodies. Leah could not understand why this young star got so much attention but then again Leah wished she could walk down the same street and be loved and even hated by thousands.

She loved and hated her husband but she remembers it as if it were yesterday - the long dark strand of hair that she pulled out of his sweater as she does his laundry. She thinks she is being silly; that he works with women everyday. She beings to fold his gray, Calvin and Klein slacks, the same ones he wore when he went to his knees in their engagement. And as if in slow motion, the pink note slips out of the back pocket it says three simple words:

"Josh, I want a divorce." She said when they sat down for dinner four nights ago. They were having green beans and chicken. Josh just stared at her in shock, his mouth hanging open wide, and his fork midway to his mouth full of greenbeans. "..But why? We have been so happy! What about Caleb? Don't you love me? Don't you love him."
"I love you with all my heart," she said and got up from the table and threw the plate into the sink. It shattered in the sink. She grabbed her car keys and had been staying at her mother's house since. She hadn't been making a call to Caleb's doctor, but to her sister and divorce laywer, Rachel.

Rachel had tried to tell her she is jumping to conclusions. She knew her sister's marriage wasn't like the ones she always deals with. Leah wouldn't listen though. She couldn't imagine any other reason as to why there would be a note from a mysterious "A". "A" for Amber, "A" for Amanda, "A" for Ashley she thought..."A" for Angela?? "No, it can't be my Angela" she thought.

You would of never thought Angela to be a morale woman by any means. She was always bed hopping, and was quite the lush in college. But, Angela would of never have commited adultery. Not with her Josh right?

"You slut," said Leah outloud to Angela without thinking. Angela thought she was kidding. "Oh come on, you have always known I like my one night stands." "I found the note you left Josh." "The one about the necklace?"
"Pardon?"
"I picked up a custom made locket for him, that's for you. It has a picture of Caleb on one side, and the other of him. It is 18 k white gold. OMG! You think I slept with him!? Leah! Never!!!"

They now needed to rush to the court for Lindsay Lohan's trial, and to stop Rachel from writing up anymore paperwork. Outside a Lindsay Lohan fan was holding a sign that read "Save L-Lo." "Oh brother," said Angela. They had to walk 27 blocks to get to the court house through all the media.

"How are we going to get through?" asked Angela. There were twenty sherrif deputies controling the crowd. Leah went up to one and said, "I am meeting my lawyer Rachel Henry today here to look at some legal work." "Why aren't you meeting at her firm?" asked the deputy.
"She was having a hearing today for another case, and needed to see me asap. I wanted the paper work done right away." Leah showed him the divorce papers, and he recognized Rachel Henry's name. He let Leah and Angela up to the steps, through the doors.

There in the lobby was Rachel, Geordan, two other lawyers, and Josh.
"Angela!!" yelled Geordan!! He ran over to her. "I was so upset you didn't call me! I wanted to see you again, and also I left my very important briefcase at your apartment."
"You didn't leave your number," said Angela.
"Yes I did, on the dry errase board in the kitchen."
Angela hadn't gone to the kitchen this morning. She has her breakfast at Starbucks every morning.
Leah turned to Josh, "I was all wrong about the note, I'm sorry! Angela told me about the necklace." "Well there goes your surprise," said Josh.
"It is ok, you're always giving me gifts, all I need is you and Caleb. They hugged each other in an embrace and he kissed her gently. Everyone around them made an "aww noise." "Well," said Geordan, "Angela you can go sit in the back of the court if you wish. We have an important trial today."

Angela went and took a seat in the courtroom. A half hour later the trial began. Every seat in the courtroom was filled and the noisy whispers made the courtroom seem like packed stadium. Angela handed Geordan his Italian leather briefcase and he kissed her softly on her cheek. She blushed and took a seat next to Rachael, Angela and Josh.
Geordan walked to the front of the courtroom with a hop in his step since he now had Angela and his briefcase back. Angela could not help but think how nice his ass really looked in his Gucci made suit and began imagining herself in a nice, silk designer wedding dress.
"Whoa..", she sighed out loud and Leah raised her left eyebrow is curiosity. Leah gave a sweet smile and then looked away. They had been friends for too long for Leah to not understand what Angela had been thinking but why did Leah even think she would have slept with Josh?

Leah was a beautiful women with Marylin Monroe hair cut that made her look like a porcelain doll. Her fair skin always showed her soft pink cheeks and her hair fell perfectly into front of her marble eyes.
Then Angela had an idea, maybe a necklace wasn't what Leah really needed... "I got it!" exclaimed Angela. Her sudden outburst halted the court's proceedings. She blushed and quickly hid her face behind her Birkin. Leah turned to her friend and asked, "What was that about?"
"oh nothing," answered Angela gleefully.

I hope LaBelle Spa Retreat has an opening this up coming weekend, thought Angela. Leah totally deserves to be pampered after going through postpartum depression. Since the birth of her baby girl Grace, she has been down. And with Caleb going off to pre-school, and thinking Josh was cheating. It was to much for her. Poor Leah.
As trail went on Leah grew bored with this L- Lo non-sense.....
She leaned into Angela and "Hey, Lets blow this joint!" "Seriously?" replied Angela, somewhat taken aback at the thought of having to miss watching her new man in action in the courtroom. "Where to?" Angela jerked her head around and squealed. Again, the whole courtroom turned around to see who was interrupting the proceedings.

"I have an idea... just follow me, it'll be a surprise!" And with that, she led Angela as quietly as possible out of the courtroom. Strangely enough, neither women looked back to see their men being left behind. They walked the 27 blocks back to the car. I feel really bad about accusing you with Josh," said Leah. "Well, I have always been a bit wild, but I'd never do that." "I know." "And you're right. I'm 34. I need to settle down a tad." "O really?" said Lead raising an eyebrow. "Well, as in settle down I mean dating one guy for awhile, and seeing where it takes me. I wont cast out marriage, as long as my husband is a sex machine, and can satisfy my many tastes." "And is Geordan that man?"
"Haha, maybe." "So, how are we going to get you with Geordan, and me to beg for forgiveness from Josh?" "What if I take Grace and Caleb this weekend, and you go to this great spa with Josh? They have couple massages, mudbaths, and a huge jacuzzi in your room. Courtesy of moi."
"That sounds nice."
"Now that I'm being such a saint, are you going to help me with Geordan?" "Of course! Well, you obviously already have him hooked. Perhaps you should be waiting there to celebrate with him after the trial, or comfort his loss?" "Haha, well Lohan is totally guilty."

The ladies then went to Anthropolgie to get come cute outfits, and then to Agent Provocateur for something more sexy underneath. While trying on sexy lingerie Angela knew this was the time to boost Leah's spirits. She grabbed a nearby chemise she had been eying and told Leah to put it on. Leah stepped out of the changing room with her short, blond curls softly outlining her face her cheeks stained with an embarrassed blush. "Wow.." is all Angela could say while Leah soft smile turned into a frown. "You picked out a nice one," regarded Leah as she touched the pink chemise lined with silk white roses and pink lace.
"Pink was always my color," sighed Leah. "What's WRONG with you," cried Angela. "You are a bombshell that just need a little self-confidence boost and I still have no idea what is stopping you from wanting to make wild love to the lady you are looking at in the mirror, YOU!"

Leah laughed and Angela purr like a cat as Leah twirled in her new chemise. "Black Card to the rescue!" giggled Angela.

Dear Poll: Have You Ever Been Stood Up?

DearSugar — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:00:00 -0800

What is it with my friends and dating? A girlfriend called me from a restaurant this week, hysterical, because her date stood her up! Now being a few minutes late is one thing, but since no one leaves their house without either a cell phone, BlackBerry or iPhone, there is simply no excuse for leaving someone in the lurch. Thankfully, I have never been put in that position, but I am sure my friend isn't alone here. Ladies, what I want to know is, have you ever been stood up?

Source

I Was Stood Up By My Best Friend!

DearSugar — Tue, 15 May 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

This past weekend I got irritated with my best friend. I am starting to date this new guy, who my friend supposedly loves for me, but whenever I ask her to go out with us, like to a club or bar, she always makes up an excuse as to why she can't go or just won't answer my calls/texts. She has a boyfriend, and I completely respect that, and I ask both of them to go, but she never ends up coming out. I have expressed how much I want her to get to know my new boyfriend, but she doesn't budge.

Another thing that irritates me is that when we do go out, it is always wherever she wants to go. I have just had enough of it and this weekend I told her that I thought what she was doing was really unfair, rude, and cruel. I told her that in a friendship, you have to give and take, something she clearly doesn't understand. So after I blew up and told her how I felt, she told me that she *supposedly* had no money which is why she can't go out and that she wasn't interested in being with me if I was going to be mean to her.

This girl has supposedly been my best friend since we were 8 (we are both 22 now), and I've realized that everything always has to be about her. When she started dating her boyfriend, I went out of my way to hang out with them so I could get to know the man who my best friend was dating, and all I am asking is her to do the same for me. Am I overreacting? What do I do?? Please help!!

-- Stood Up by my Best Friend Stephanie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Stood Up by my Best Friend Stephanie--

Although this is your best friend, it sounds like you two aren't on the same page here about what a friendship is supposed to be. I would be upset too if my "best friend" was acting selfish and unsupportive. It's great that you wanted to tell her how you felt, but since you were so upset and "blew up," I'm sure she felt attacked and then acted defensively.

I think you need to have a girls' night out without your boyfriends. You have been best friends since you were 8 years old (aww), so you obviously have a deep history. Invite her to dinner and have a heart-to-heart chat about what's going on with her, with you, and between the two of you. If you're worried you might "blow up" again, write down your thoughts and feelings so you can express them calmly. Since it's just the two of you, she'll be able to tell you how she's feeling and give you real reasons why she won't hang out with you and your new man. You may find out something surprising behind her distance.

I had a friend in high school that was very selfish, we always had to do what she wanted to do and talk about her problems. Our one-sided friendship became too much for me; I was giving too much and not getting anything back in return, so I stopped hanging out with her. After you talk to your friend, if things don't change (because of her selfish personality), you may find that drifting apart is the best thing for you. Good luck Stephanie!

Source

You Asked: Is It Really Over?

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 06:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I met an awesome guy two years ago that was everything I've ever wanted in a man. I can honestly say this was the first time that I was truly in love with someone, but about three weeks before Christmas we broke up. We had an argument and we did not call each other until about a week ago. I felt that the argument, although it was about an important issue, could have been avoided. When we finally talked, we laid everything on the table. I told him I was ready to begin where we had left off but he wasn't. He told me that "people change" and he no longer wanted a relationship with me. I was, and still am, devastated.

He wanted to remain a part of each other's lives, but I told him I wanted to be "defined" as more - not just some random girl. This past weekend we went out to dinner and he came back to my place. He initiated everything and we had sex. I felt great but bad at the same time because I still didn't know where we stood. He spent the night and left the next morning, but I have not heard from him since. I feel crappy and used. Although he claimed to still love me, he still isn't able to pick up where we left off. He said there is no one else but I just don't know what to do. I have not told my friends because I really thought he was going to be the one that I would marry some day and now I'm embarrassed. I feel like if we had not argued and stopped talking that I would still have the love of my life. I really thought we were on our way to marriage and now I feel like a failure. Should I attempt to call him or accept that he's over me?
- Heart Broken Heidi

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Heart Broken Heidi,

Break ups are the worst so I am sorry you're hurting right now. Break-up sex is tough - it makes things incredibly confusing because it can either lead to a reconciliation or it can simply be one last hurrah. Although your ex was honest with you about wanting to end it, he's also being selfish for not letting you go. Of course it's comforting to spend time with him, but it's just going to prevent you from moving on and accepting that your relationship is over.

You should not feel embarrassed by what's happened Heidi, and it's not good to keep all your feelings bottled up inside. I'm sure your friends and family would be more than happy to support you right now - that's what they are there for. Since this man was someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, I don't blame you for feeling like you're back at square one, but you never know what the future holds. Your ex could change his mind and realize what a mistake he made by breaking up with you, or you could meet the real man of your dreams. Be strong, use your loved ones for support and remember what's meant to be will be. Time is a great healer but in the meantime, treat yourself well.

Source

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

I buckled my seat belt, lowered the shade, and put my eye mask story short, they join the mile high club when he realizes that she's his first girlfriend with a major makeover. (I'm talking complete overhaul, from Susie Bookworm to Bunny McBoobie). Of course I don't find out about this until my wedding night, when I dump his sorry butt instead of having a night of romance and rapture....so I'm in Cancun alone and heartbroken, when I decide, screw Cancun, it's full of American tourists. I need to get away from everyone involved with my wedding day. That's why I booked this flight to Thailand. I'm dying to see the beaches where the movie the Beach was filmed. If only I could find Leo waiting there for me. Although I knew I should be using this time for some much needed self reflection, I again said screw that -- I need to start having some fun. I can't sit around and mope the entire time I am in Thailand, I need to LIVE! My first day on the beach, I cozied up at the bar at my hotel, ordered a Sing Ha when a Taye Diggs dead ringer said, "I don't mean to bother you but can I buy you a drink?"

Immediately, my mind floated to that movie with Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale. If I said yes to this guy, would he later put cocaine in my backpack and watch me get arrested and thrown in a Thai jail? Then I remembered the second Bridget Jones. Can't be all that bad can it? I looked Taye Diggs' doppelganger straight in the eyes and said, "I'd love a sex on the beach." With a devilish smile, and a suppressed laugh, he ordered, and winking at the waiter, said, "don't keep this lady waiting!" I was so flattered, and a girlish wave of excitement came over me, and just as I was thinking about how the day I dump my fiance I meet a new man, my drink came, and my elbow knocked it off the counter and onto his shoes until his girlfriend walks up. and says "What the Hell is going on here" in the snottiest tone of voice known to man.

I was extremely embarrassed from the spilled drink and she took my flushed cheeks as a sign of hanky panky between us. She launched into a rant about how he never respects her and this is why they are breaking up for the last time. She then turned on her heels and walked off. He said to me "sorry you had to witness that" Well that totally killed the mood so I said, "yeah, me too, but you'd better go after her." Seeing his girlfriend's retreat reminded of my own recent retreat, and I didn't want to trade one liar for another. "Excuse me, I said" and carried my new drink onto the beach. I was ready for some alone time and a nice walk, but it wasn't in the cards. Within minutes, a little boy wondered up to me "you buy pearls from me" he said with a huge smile on his face and held up some poorly strung plastic beads. "how old are you?" i asked him. "special deal! just for you!" he says, waving the beads around as if they are mystical. "no beads" I say "but here's $20. go home now it's late". he considers the money for a moment and then runs off without so much as a thank you. "come back here!" i hear a woman call "you no good little thief!" she looks after the boy and says to me "did he sell you MY PEARLS!?" I play dumb "who?" she doesn't bite "I saw you talking to that little thief!" "oh he was only a boy" I say. she runs after him, screaming about her precious pearls. "thank you" I hear from the boy as he scurried off. I looked down at myself, my hair was a mess, I smelt like tanning oil from being at the pool all day and I definitely needed a shower. I decided to call it a quits and began walking back to my hotel room when I think my heart may have stopped.I mean an abrupt stop at what I could have sworn was the hottest man in all of Thailand. He was on his cell phone and had a bag over his shoulder; it looked like he was just checking in. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that I had been standing there staring at him like a fan to brad pitt. I immediately snapped out of it and began walking towards my destination (elevators) which coincidentally happened to be right by him. As I swayed over in the most feminine walk I could stir up...whisked my hair over my shoulder and got ready to flash a smile, I noticed. a gold band around his left ring finger. As I felt the crushing blow, he looked over at me and grinned. His teeth were shining white, which only made my disappointment grow. I hurried toward the elevators, and pressed the button that would summon the machine. I waited, shifting my weight from side to side, I looked over and the man with the ring stood next to me. I could smell his expensive cologne wafting over and I nervously pressed the button again. He leaned toward me. "Do not be swayed by the ring." He whispered in a heavy accent. "It is my grandfather's wedding ring. When he died, he left it to me. It's the only finger it fits on, deceiving I know but it let's me weed out the good girls from the bad ones.

After letting out a huge sigh of release, to myself of course, I knew I had to act fast. "I am glad you said something, I was beginning to think all the good ones were taken". Did I really just say that, I thought to myself, without even knowing this mans name? "My name is Phoebe by the way" as I reached out my hand He smiled widely, took my hand, and gave me a steady, firm handshake. "Hmm..." I thought. "Now, this seems like a real respectable man." As the elevator doors opened, he motioned his hand for me to go first. I smiled, and we entered a very crowded elevator, full of people that smelled like musty water. Suddenly, e whispered into my ear, "can I buy you a drink after I drop off my bags?" Without thinking twice, I replied, "meet you in the lobby in 30!" Before he had a chance to respond, the elevator doors opened on my floor, I winked a goodbye, and ran down the hallway to my room so I could jump in the shower and make a quick change. So, I'm in and out of the shower lickadee-split, running around the room furiously getting ready when I stop and think "this is too good to be true." Um, yeah, wait a second, that's exactly what it is, it's too good to be true. Something seemed a little off about that whole interaction. Oh well, cest la vie! I have nothing to lose. Just as I'm throwing on my shoes and praising myself for getting ready so fast, I see that the message light on the phone in my hotel room is blinking. Hmmmm, that's strange, no one knows I'm here. So I pick up the phone to listen to the message, and it is the wrong number. I transfer the message back to the front desk and head out the door. As I stroll through the lobby I see he is not there. I sit in a chair, again contemplating if this is a good idea. I just ran away from a big mistake minutes before I was to walk down the isle. All of my family is probably wondering where I am and what happened. I decide to stroll back to the lobby looking at the industrial and downtown scenery. Telling myself: I wish it wasn't this complicated, but i guess i'll be patient." While i was looking at the scenery, i finally spotted her walking with a midnight blue gown with cobalt blue heels that make me think of her as the universe in the night that glitter with stars. I was suddenly hypnotize but thought, wow I didn't realize Angelina Jolie is here at this hotel. I wonder if she is doing a photo shoot or baby shopping. As I watched her from afar, I felt someone touch my arm. I turned suddenly to see the guy from the elevator standing by my side. "You ready for that cocktail, Phoebe?" He says, his voice soothing, deep, and sexy. I smile and say, "Absolutely" only once i got halfway into the word I burped! Seriously? omg. I felt my face burning from the shade of red it is, and then he burps too. I immediately had to suppress a giggle. I said "Well, excuse us both" and I held is arm as we walked to the bar. I couldn't quit thinking he must be a nice guy to immediately come to my aid like that. But I must keep a clear head. we just met! I just left someone at the altar and these thoughts i am having about a total stranger are ridiculous. I let go of his arm as we take a seat. Immediately our eyes met and something about them told me he was kind. He smiled as he reached across the table to brush the hair from my eyes. "Thank you" I mumbled, unable to fully comprehend what was happening to me. "So, tell me your story Phoebe",I beamed inside and thought, ME...he wants to know about ME. Just then he started to tell me about his Thai dance troop. He asked if I had ever danced or worn a costume. I told him never and he said I looked like just the kind of girl to play the part of the monkey in his troop. He even ordered a banana drink for me. Just as I was ready to accept, my cell phone rang. It was so loud it made me jump. It was none other than my devious, once-fiance.

I saw a look of disappointment on my date's face as I said "Just one second. I'll be right back, Aaron." I answered the call and exasperatedly said, "What? What is it now?" The fiance from hell replied "Phoebe, I.. I need some help I think you had my return ticket in your bag. My flight home leaves later today and I can't find it anywhere." "Just like, you," I sniped, "only calling when you need something. And anyway, what if I do have it? How is that going to help you get out of town today?" "Good point," he said, "and Phoebe, I didn't call because I lost my ticket. I called to say I love you and I'm an idiot and, well." "That's all well and good, but it's over," I said. "Have a nice life, I'll leave your ticket at the front desk."

Jerk.

As I hung up the phone I realized, wait, he has no idea where I am so leaving it at the front desk isn't going to be doing him any good.. oh well, to hell with him, I need to move on, and the one I want to move on with is sitting at my table inside. I walked back to my table and sat next to my lovely stranger. "Is everything alright?" he asked with utter sincerity 'Everything is great! I am ready for that drink!' Then I proceeded to tell him a little about myself. I did not talk about the past few days because I had decided if this went any further it would just be a vacation fling.

After 4-5 drinks he suggested dinner. I agreed and we walked the 2 blocks to this fabulous seafood restaurant. he walk to the restaurant with Aaron felt so natural. Laughing, and walking arm and arm, it was picture-esque I suppose you could say. The warm night and lamp-lit sidewalks only added to the dream-like, two-block walk. We finally arrived at the restaurant. The ambiance was filled with the buzz of busy chatter, the clang of silverware to plates, and the exotic mingling of spices mixed in with oysters, prawns, and catfish. We sat down to dinner and began what ended up being a very pleasant evening. We danced under the stars to a live jazz band at "Chandra's"(the local hot spot) enjoyed each other's walk down memory lane, and finally shared a passionate, yet respectful display of affection until Aaron finally walked me to my room. No sooner had I opened the door when all of a sudden my cell phone rang again. It was the loser in Cancun that had no ticket! He seemed like he really missed me at this point but who wouldn't being in a foreign country alone and with a hurricane coming. No ticket, no passport, no wedding; too bad he was such a creep to me. Now he must be thinking I would be suckered into whatever was up his sleeve. I stared at my phone for a second and flipped it open, "Yes?" "Phoebe, come on. You gotta forgive me. I just need my damn ticket and you're being selfish not letting me have it."

"Oh well, I don't even know how to send it to you. Why don't you just buy a new one? I don't have time for this." I snapped then paused for a moment. "...And selfish? I'm not selfish. I'm not the one who went stir crazy and joined the mile-high club with some prissy, fake breasted airline stewardess!" The rest of the conversation was him babbling, and finally I told him I'd end this civilly. I told him I didn't want him trying to contact me anymore. And I hung up.

"Sorry about that again... although this is a lot to take for one night, I really hope my ex isn't changing your opinion of me. I had a wonderful time with you tonight, it was actually the right time in, wow, so long I can't even begin to pin point it, where I actually had fun! Thank you."

"Phoebe, I think your delightful, and no, this night only made me respect you more. Goodnight, I also had a wonderful time with you, can we do it again tomorrow night? I would love to see you again."

A rush of emotion fell over my entire body as I replied, "Absolutely, I would love to see you again. Sleep well and I will see you tomorrow."

Needless to say, I slept like a baby.....

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 11:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

"Just call him, thank him, and get it over with -- when did you become such a baby?" "When did you become such a controlling sister??" "Oh come one, I've been a controlling b*tch for the last 27 years, don't pretend you aren't familiar with my personality traits. You are just stalling." My sister thrust her iphone at me. I took a deep breath, grabbed the phone from her, dialed, and slowly held it to my ear. He picked up on the second ring, "hello?" The lump in my throat was too big. I couldn't say anything. I made a funny noise, hung up and stormed out of the room. My persistent sister followed me, of course, the whole way, saying "Well that was brilliant. Too bad it's not 1985 when everyone in the world didn't have caller ID. You need to call back, pronto, and explain that your service went wonky."

Sadly, I knew she was right, so I manned up and re-dialed the phone. As he answered I took a deep breathe and gave my biggest "Hello!" A long pause stretched for what felt like one hundred years and I heard him say "Victoria? Is that you?" I looked at my sister who was smirking at the thought of this and I went on with it. "Yeah its me. I was just calling because I think we need to talk. I mean get together like grown ups, maybe go get a bite to eat and talk. Its nothing too bad--but its news." I could hear the questioning in his silence. "Okay. I guess if this is important then how about you meet me at the corner of Birch when I get off work?" We both agreed and hung up.

My stomach began to sink to my feet at the thought of what I had to tell him How would he react? He and Jack had been friends for over 20 years! I knew I couldn't put this conversation off very much longer. I threw on my Seven jeans and darkest sunglasses and headed for our meeting place. Of course, he hadn't identified which corner of Birch to meet at. He didn't have to. We had a relationship to that space -- *that* corner -- and as I neared the spot, I couldn't help but replay that unforgettable moment there years ago, when the two of us sat, ate and talked for hours.. like the future was no holds barred.... but things change right??? I mean who would have thought that he would break up with me, and that I would turn around and fall in love with his childhood best friend. Jack had spoken with Roger earlier in the week, and Roger had given Jack his blessing.

I was just supposed to call Roger to thank him for being cool about me and Jack, but as soon as I heard his voice I knew that we needed to meet up instead. I was starting to doubt my decision as I stood waiting on our special corner, when I saw him pull up. Then I knew it was the right thing to do. This closure needed to happen in person. He walked up and said, "Hi." "Hi," I said back. He gave me a hug and I could hear him smell my hair. I gently pushed him away. I didn't think that after he broke up with me that he might still had feelings for me. Although, I remembered sadly that we didn't break up because we stopped loving each other, we broke up because he couldn't handle feeling like nothing anymore as I kept getting promoted from one high position to another so quickly in my advertising job while he struggled to find one. He was never too happy that I would drag him to so many company parties and feel isolated from my coworkers and he felt that I was being insensitive by taking him to places that he couldn't afford.

When we ended the relationship, I still had lingering feelings for him. Now here we are, staring each other and trying to see who would break the awkward silence first. The second I decided to speak first, he said "How's work?" I answered, "things are going well, how are things going for you?" He answered back, "you know it's the usual" -- and then awkward silence. Gosh, how I dread this feeling. I thought why am I doing this to myself and to him...and I just smiled...well sort of..and then I said "Look, I heard you're fine with me dating Jack, but I had to know in person that you were."

"I'm fine with you dating Jack, Emma," he said, cracking a smile. "We broke up and you moved on obviously." I was surprise that he seems so content at the moment. I guess he really IS fine with it and has move on. Suddenly a leggy blonde yells for Roger's name. Roger lit up and had a huge smile on his face.
"I have to get going, Em," he said tapping my arm. "I'll see you around." And just like that, he started to run towards the woman, leaving me all confused. Confused not because of how he is acting or who is the leggy blonde female was, but confused because the minute I saw him exchanging a happy smile with the woman I could have sworn I wanted to be her. I wanted to smile back at Roger and drive away together. I pushed any thoughts of Rodger and the leggy blonde from my mind as I watched them speed away. She most certainly does not have a job of my stature! I glanced at my iphone for the time and realized I was late for my date with Jack! I rushed to my new little, sporty BMW and immediately phoned Jack to tell him I would be a few minutes late.

I still couldn't get the picture of Roger and that leggy blonde out of my head! I really hope that Jack smiles that big when he sees me. Speeding away, a huge SUV drifts over into my lane and nearly collides with me. I lay on the horn with one hand and give my best obscene gesture with the other. Suddenly I realize that it's Jack's mom, and Jack is in the car with her. Ugh, could this day get any worse? I thought to myself probably not! Then we both arrived at Jack and my favorite restaurant for lunch. We were both parking our cars and I thought to myself how will I respond when they ask me what was wrong with me. Why was I speeding? Where was I coming from? Why if I was, was I angry? Gosh, all the possible answers circulating my mind along with the picture of Roger and the leggy blonde does this mean I'm still in love with Roger? More questions.

As I got out of my car, Jack's mother was telling me how a horrible woman gave them a finger in the road. I thought to myself "Well maybe you shouldn't cut people in the road while you're driving?" Argh! I can't believe how crabby I have become so suddenly. I need to calm down and just forget about Roger and that woman. We headed inside the restaurant and sat down to our table. I looked through the menu, my eyes fixed directly to the dessert section. "I need all the sweets I can get tonight," I thought to myself. Suddenly Jack's mom pointed out that Roger and a woman were sitting three tables behind us. I gasped so hard and have never felt so uncomfortable. "Hey, that's Serena! She went to high school with us. I always thought Roger couldn't let her go"

All of the sudden I couldn't breathe. Had Roger been thinking of this girl the entire time we were together? Had he left me for her!? After I had begun to breathe, I caught Roger's eye. He gave me a coy smile and shrugged his shoulders slightly. Serena then turned around and gave me a look that could kill. Wow...this was going to an uncomfortable lunch to say the least. As my gaze turned back to Jack, I noticed that he too was looking at someone very intensely. And that someone wasn't me. I followed Jack's gaze all the way to Regina and wondered what on earth was going on here. First my ex, and now my current boyfriend can't keep his eyes off other girls! Signing, I flagged down the waitress and ordered a glass of wine. This day was turning out to be too much to handle.

All of a sudden, the mystery woman walked right up to our table and wrapped her hands around Jack's neck. I almost chocked on the piece of bread that was in my mouth until Jack said, "Emma, I am so excited to finally introduce you to my cousin Grace!!" With a huge sigh of relief, I got out of my chair and gave her the biggest hug I could muster out of my flustered body. "It's so nice to meet you Grace, you have no idea!" Just as we all sat back down, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Roger and Miss Blondey herself slithered out of the restaurant without saying good bye. My glass of wine came and I thought to myself, this day is going to turn out OK after all!

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

I can't believe I did it, I can't believe I got in-between their friendship like that but I couldn't help myself. Someone had to stand up for her. I've known her since she was in 2nd grade and she is like my little sister after all. He called her a f*cking b*tch, what did he expect me to do, sit there and say nothing??? Still I couldn't help but feeling like I should have slapped his smug face too. He IS my brother, but he had it coming. Honestly, how many times do they have to get into a non sense argument about the power rangers.. like they are sooo over rating the awesomeness of the black ranger, everyone knows the pink one rules. No sooner had the words left my mouth when I heard this very strange noise coming from the backyard. I looked out the window and all thoughts of power rangers, fights, and my little brother fled from my mind as I watched my older brother and his new soccer team strip down to use the pool. Immediately I started to drool.

I grabbed my suit, ran outside to lay out and do a little flirting. I had them eating out of my hand when I began to put sun tan oil on myself. I layed down and put on my darkest sunglasses so I could just stare at them without them ever knowing. Just as I was getting really comfortable, I heard our gate latch open and the giggling of girls...Oh it couldn't be girls that would want to ruin this perfect opportunity to have all these beautiful boys at once could it? But it was. The cheerleaders all walked in screaming "Hi" wearing their Juicy Couture bikinis and played the "Don't splash me! I don't want my hair wet!" game. That was my game and I invented it! I'm not letting these girls ruin my afternoon so I decided to let my little brother's tarantula loose in the backyard. I knew it would scare them away, but I didn't expect my arachnophobia to kick in. My breathing got tight and my chest starting pumping - I jumped in the pool to calm myself down. But wait -- where did my Eres bathing suit top go?

I quickly grabbed my top before anybody saw and once the girls were all gone, I asked the boys to jump in the pool with me. We were all having a good time splashing around in the pool when my top fell off again. "I really need to get a more reliable bathing suit" I thought to myself, as once again, covered myself off. I grabbed my towel and retreated upstairs to change.

I showered, put on a sundress and twisted my hair up into a loose bun. I returned to the backyard where someone dressed in a black power rangers suit was talking to all my cute boys! Honestly I thought, what does a girl have to do to have a little peace and quiet with some male attention? I walked up behind the costumed one and tried to place the voice. omg! it was crazy Tom Cruise!

He was just finishing up telling the guys how after he tanked his career with his insanity, he had to make a little more money on the side to pay his way up the Scientology ladder so he was now doing kids' birthday parties. I didn't want to get sucked into the crazy talk, so I started to walk back to the house.

Suddenly I saw the spider I let out of the house crawling right to me! With my quick thinking, I screamed, jumped up and down like a crazy person and ran back toward the boys. I mean with that kind of reaction, all the attention should be back to me. One of the boys yelled "Oh no! Xenu must be controlling her mind! Quick, Tom, call him off!"

Tom just stood there. Then, the cutest of my brother's teammates, Sam, ran over and caught the tarantula under a cup. "Oh, thank goodness!" I sighed. Tom demanded that he be allowed to eat the poor thing with a special dipping sauce created with pool water, sun screen and sauce. A huge fight broke out; half the guys thought Tom should be allowed to do this and the other half were totally opposed. What a scene, there was no backing down. Someone had to make a decision, and fast!

I picked up my brand new iphone and called my good friend George Bush. Surely he'd know what to do! After all, he is "the decider". After two rings, he picked up the phone with a cheerful "Howdy". I told him the problem, and he told me he didn't have time to break up this argument as he was on his nieces fashion show. I was just fed up beyond believe. "I am staying out of this guys -- when you're done being immature little boys, you know where to find me."

As I walked back upstairs, I realized I was late for dinner with the girls. I grabbed my purse and headed out to the square. On my way, I thought to myself, "thank god for my girlfriends, they are so much more fun than pining for male attention."