TresSugar

Do Tell: What Conversations Are Off-Limits in Your Bedroom?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0700

The bedroom is a sacred place meant for sleeping, relaxing, and of course, getting busy! But to keep the bedroom a stress-free zone, it's important to take care of any arguments or loaded conversations before settling in for the night. If this is something you strive for, do tell, what conversations are off-limits in your bedroom?

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Relationship Protocol: Can You Share a Bedroom While Visiting Family?

DearSugar — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:00:00 -0800

Our parents' generation is typically more conservative when it comes to sex and cohabitation before marriage, so when visiting them with your significant other, discussing the sleeping arrangements can be a bit awkward for all involved. I know many parents who believe that under their roof, their rules apply regardless of the situation back home; but others simply choose to turn a blind eye.

Since many of you will be traveling to visit family in these next few days, tell me, will you be allowed to sleep in the same room as your significant other?

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Tip No. 4 For Getting the Romance Back After the Holiday Stress Is Behind You

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Check out Patty's fourth tip on how to bring the romance back to life after the holiday stress is behind you below:

For those of us who live in the colder climates, we often deal with sky-high energy bills; so why not crank down the heat after the holidays and use it as an excuse to get even closer under the covers!

To learn more about Patty, click here and to visit PureRomance.com, click here. To see her tips on how to avoid a sex slump during the holidays, click here!

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Dear Poll: Sleeping in Separate Beds

DearSugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:00:00 -0700

All relationships are different and things that work for some couples don't for others. Sleeping in separate beds is one of those things. Growing up, I never realized that my grandparents having separate bedrooms was out of the norm, but as an adult, I realize that they clearly just weren't compatible bedmates. Maybe one of them snored or hogged the bed. Whatever the reason, it worked for them; they were married for over 50 years!

I personally think one of the best parts about a relationship is sleeping together. You have an instant bed warmer, someone to cuddle with throughout the night, and someone to wake up next to in the mornings. That's just me, so what about you? Would you ever consider sleeping in separate beds from your significant other?

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Is Your Bedroom Equipped For Love Making?

DearSugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

I know many people who consider their bedrooms their sanctuaries. They spend a lot of money on a comfortable bed, soft sheets, and perfect lighting to make bedtime all the more enjoyable. But even if your bedroom is perfectly outfitted for a good night's sleep, let me ask you this: Is it suitable for a good night of sex? According to Tina B. Tessina, PhD and author of Money, Sex and Kids, for starters, we should all be taking it easy on the family photos:

Pictures of family and friends can spark subconscious thoughts of things troubling you or of obligation.

Additionally, she says TV is a big no-no in the bedroom. Researchers have found that those couples who do watch the tube in bed actually have less sex!

I'm pretty sure we all know how to set the mood when need be, but tell me, is your bedroom already well-equipped for sexy time at a moment's notice?

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The How-To Lounge: A Better Night's Sleep

DearSugar — Fri, 23 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Our bedrooms are a more important place than we tend to give them credit for - they’re where we completely rejuvenate ourselves for the next day, night after night. While I’m not of the mindset that your bedroom needs to be some kind of untouched sanctuary, I do think that a few touches in or around your bed can do a lot for a good night’s sleep. And, I know if I don’t get enough sleep, I’m an emotional wreck so if you want to see how to create the perfect sleeping spot, just read more.

Mattresses can be really expensive, but having a good one can not only affect your sleeping habits, but also your physical health from your neck to your toes.
A great set of sheets and plush comforter goes a long way when it comes to feeling cozy in bed. You don’t need 1000-thread count either, just pick something well made that feels good to the touch. As for the comforter, I personally love a down comforter with a soft duvet cover, but that much fluff can be overwhelming, so choose a light quilt if that better suits you.
Temperature is a huge issue for many women when trying to fall or stay asleep. Over the course of a night our internal thermostat can fluctuate from chills to hot flashes, making deep sleep seem impossible. Combat this issue by keeping a fan in your room and an extra blanket at the food of your bed.
Creating a relaxing atmosphere will definitely help get you in the mood to sleep. Buy a more muted lightbulb for your bedside lamp, and try to keep the floor around your bed completely cleared away.
Create a ritual you can do every night to get your mind and body ready for sleep. Whether it’s watching TV, reading a book, or getting in some intimate time with your partner, come up with something that will trigger the sleep response from your body.

If these tips still don't help or if you think you might have insomnia be sure to see your doctor to discuss some possible solutions. Sleep is important so take it seriously!

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Dear Poll: Do You Wish Your Partner Was More Adventurous in Bed?

DearSugar — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 13:00:00 -0800

How would you rate your sex life on a scale of one to ten? Are you and your partner adventurous and into experimenting with sex toys or trying new positions? If not, is it you or your partner who is the timid one behind closed doors? Since we have already debunked the myth that it's only men that crave a healthy sex life, what I want to know is, are you currently satisfied with your sex life or do you wish your partner was more adventurous in the bedroom?

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You Asked: My Boyfriend Is Quiet in Bed

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:32:01 -0700

Dear Sugar--

During sex, my boyfriend is so quiet. He doesn't make any noises or
anything. I feel like I am doing something wrong, but when I bring it up to him he says everything is fine, that he is just quiet. Should I be worried?

--A Little Concerned Connie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear A Little Concerned Connie--

Everyone expresses their sexuality in different ways, and it sounds like your man may be the quiet type. As long as he seems to be enjoying himself (he reaches orgasm), I'm sure you are doing everything right.

I am glad you feel comfortable asking him about it, that's the first step, but it simply may be his personality to be less than a screamer in the bedroom. Or he may have learned to be that way from his past sexual experiences (maybe he had to be quiet because of a roommate or an ex who didn't like him to be vocal). Let him know that you don't think there's anything wrong with him keeping quiet, but you just want to make sure he really does enjoy your sex life.

Just because a person is "the quiet type" doesn't mean he can't ever let out his wild side. If you're used to a partner who moans, groans, screeches, and giggles, and you want to see that come out with this guy, try going a little out of your comfort zone. Experiment with times of day, places in your home, and try to tempt him by being the one in control. Wear an outfit you think would drive him crazy, spend a lot of time on foreplay, and slow down your lovemaking. He may just need a change of pace to help him break out of his shell. Have fun trying!

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Should I Join the Threesome?

DearSugar — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar and Flattered Fran Need your help!

Okay so I’m in a sticky situation. About 2 months ago, my best friend (I've known her since middle school) met the most amazing guy. He’s just my type, actually, blond curly hair, blue eyes, and has a runner’s body. He’s adorable but he’s an artist (I prefer the more professional type). He’s really spontaneous and adventurous. She tells me all these wild stories, and I’m really happy for them, but I have to say I’m a little jealous.

The other night I went out to a bar with them and we all got pretty tipsy. They walked me back to my apartment and I invited them inside to continue the festivities. We were all sitting on the couch, laughing and joking around, and my girlfriend looked at me and said something like "I love you. You're my best friend," and she went to kiss my cheek, but she totally lost her balance and ended up kissing my mouth." We fell over on the floor laughing about it, and I said "I love you too," and I kissed her directly on the lips, just to be funny. They stayed and we watched TV for a little while, and then they walked home.

I had completely forgotten about it until she and I had lunch a few days later. After we ordered, she told me that her boyfriend thought our kiss was really hot and he wanted to ask me if I would be interested in joining them in the bedroom - in a threesome.

I am not that adventurous in the bedroom, but something sparked my interest and I feel kind of flattered that they asked me. If I were to have a threesome with anyone it would be them, but I'm just worried that it'll make things weird between her and I after the fact. And what if they want to do it again and I don't want to? Or what if I start having feelings for my friend's boyfriend? What should I do?

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How Can I Spice Things up in the Bedroom?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I have so many friends that have been in a relationship for over a year, who are complaining that the fire is less than blazing in the bedroom. The beginning was all fireworks and romance, and now it's such an effort to keep things going sexually.

It's totally normal for couples to hit a dry spot. The excitement of getting to know someone new wears off and while having tons of sex all the time used to seem appealing, now it's just tiring and let's be honest, who has the time? After a while, your relationship changes, and the lust and passion gets replaced with a level of comfort and unconditional love. This is a wonderful level two people can share, but that doesn't mean sex should be forgotten. Here are some ways you can keep the spark alive.

Distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder. Just because you are "together" doesn't mean you have to do everything with the other person all the time. Go on little weekend trips with your girlfriends, sign up for weekly yoga classes, or walk your dog by yourself. Doing things away from your significant other will give you both a chance to miss one another.
On the other hand, if you're having a problem connecting because your work schedules are so different, set up "Date Nights." Pick one night a week where you know it's just you two. Make dinner together, go see a show, rent a movie - whatever you choose. It's something you can both look forward to.

Want to hear the other ideas? Then read more

Make a point to go to bed early. If you both slip into bed by 9pm, no one can say "Babe - it's too late for that. At this stage in the game, scheduling your intimacy might be the only way to ensure that it happens.
Don't eat a huge meal right before bedtime. It's bad for your body and makes you feel too sluggish for fun. Try to eat a lighter dinner or finish eating at least 2 hours before you're planning on hitting the sheets.
Play the YOUR Turn - MY Turn game.
Bring something new into the bedroom - A sex toy, a book on sexual positions, erotic music, porn videos (some couples love watching them together), or massage oil. Adding a new ingredient to your regular love-making recipe may be just the thing to deepen your sexual experience.
Bring sex to a new place. Spend the night at a hotel, rent a beach house, go camping, or drive your car down a county road, even another room in your house will do the trick. A change of scenery and some time away can be relaxing and a real turn on.