TresSugar

Dear Poll: When Sharing a Bed, Does Size Matter?

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

One of my friends and her beau must always sleep in a king-size bed. When they go to a hotel, they request one, and she's reluctant to stay with me because my full-size guest bed is "soooo tiny." (Hey, at least it's not a twin!) I guess they need their space to spread out in order to catch some zzzz's.

So I was wondering, when sleeping with someone else, does the size of the bed matter to you?

Source

Conventional Wisdom: Ask a Gay Man

TresSugar — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:30:00 -0700

I am a straight woman and I recently broke up with my ex of about three years. I was unhappy more than I was happy, and I wanted to be single again. I moved out and I'm generally enjoying the single life.

The only problem is dating! I just went on a date with a guy who was a casual acquaintance before. We planned to go to dinner, but when he failed to call me before 7 PM, I shot him a text. We met at the restaurant.

I dressed in jeans, boots, and a cute black top. Nothing too fancy, but date appropriate. He showed up in old jeans and - wait for it! - a backwards baseball cap! Throughout the date he proceeded to talk about how we should meet up with his buddies after at a bar. He continued to act generally rude all night, and after offering to get the bill, he actually changed his mind to have us split. It's not like I expect a free meal, but the whole thing was bizarre! I'm getting the feeling that no men out there understand the concept of good dressing and appropriate manners!

I went on a date to get over my ex, but it was so bad I want my ex back. Help!

Signed,

Woman Whose Ex Is Looking Better By the Minute

To read a gay man's answer read more.
Dear WWELBBM,

My dating life has paralleled yours in an almost eerie fashion. I, too, dated a boy for three years, though I would say most of the time I was pretty happy in that relationship. But, alas, it ended, and I've spent the past few years navigating the single world.

After a breakup, the first order of business is to find comfort in being alone. After spending a considerable time in a relationship, it can be hard not having a constant companion by your side. But taking this time to reacquaint you with yourself is paramount. It's best to do this before you jump into dating again. That way you won't be dating to get over the ex.

Now, in terms of this specific date, it sounds like this guy was a dud. But don't assume that all men are duds based on this one experience. Many of them are, but there are a few diamonds in the rough, and the exciting thing about dating is trying a couple guys on for size, and seeing which one fits (literally and figuratively!). This can take a week, a month, even years, but the beauty of this time is that it's spent with you, and aren't you fabulous?

Whatever you do, don't go back to the ex. You, yourself, said you were unhappy, and it's unlikely that anything drastic has changed that will make you feel differently about round two.

In the meantime, love yourself, and step out of your comfort zone. Just this weekend I joined a gay book club and our first meeting is next month. Who knows, by Summer I might be reading in bed with a new boy. Or, here's to hoping.

Good luck out there,
A Gay Guy

Click here to find out more about Conventional Wisdom and here to submit a question.

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The How-To Lounge: Mattress Shopping

DearSugar — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 10:45:00 -0700

How well do you sleep? Over 70% of Americans don't get enough sleep or quality sleep, and yet choosing the right bed doesn't rank up there with other important purchases, like buying a car. While many other factors could be contributing to your poor sleep, it might be time to get serious about your rest and consider a new mattress.

Click here to read more

Shopping for a new mattress can be a confusing process, but finding your perfect match will be worth the frustration, I promise. There are many factors to consider for this big ticket item: brand, size, fabrication, construction and firmness. Keep these tips in mind when you begin the search.

Be prepared to spend a chunk of change. A mattress set can range anywhere from $500-$5,000
Try to focus on comfort, durability and construction instead of the price tag when looking at your options. We spend roughly one third of our lives in bed; you want to think of this as a health investment
If you're in a relationship, shop with your sleep partner. Spend time together on the different beds, and be aware that you shouldn't feel too much movement from the other person. Spend a good 10-15 minutes on the bed and try to get a real feel for it. If the sales associate is hovering and you're self-conscious, tell them you'd like some time alone to really focus on how the bed feels
Inform the sales associate about your sleeping habits. Let them know if you sleep on your side, back, or stomach, and if you have any neck or back issues. This will help them to direct your search
If you don't use a platform, be sure to purchase a new box spring with the mattress. They're made to work together
Don't let the sales associate intimidate or pressure you. Stay focused on your comfort and the quality of your investment
The best way to test a bed is to sleep on it. If you think you've found your winner, ask friends or a nearby hotel if they have the same bed and try it out for a night. That's how I knew it was true love with my tempurpedic

Temperature, stress, light and noise make an impact on the quality of your sleep. Still, your best sleep happens on the best mattress for you. Think of it as a necessity, not an indulgence! If you want to share any details about your bed and what makes it work for you, that might be a good way to pool our knowledge for the next mattress shopping trip.

Sourse

Things He Should Know: Quality Matters

DearSugar — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 14:30:00 -0800

I don't know about you, ladies, but there's just something about staying in your own bed, showering in your own bathroom, and using your own stuff that I have a hard time compromising around when the relationship gets serious.

I like a little color, good quality linens, a few nice candles, and other small indulgences that make home feel like sanctuary. I don't want to gender stereotype here, but I think maybe the fellas just haven't been taught what to appreciate or look for in linens.

Therefore, a primer for the bedsheets and the boys. Upgrade, and we just might spend a little more time in your bed! Click here to read more

Since the days of top sheets and blankets are numbered, finding a quality duvet is both a practical and easy first step. Get it baffled with high quality down. You must buy a duvet cover at the same time, fellas. Make it the same size as the duvet itself and keep the cover washed once a week, as with your bottom sheet. If you can't wash it once a week, buy yourself two. Please.

If your pillows are lumpy and heavy, or flat as a pancake, you've got a problem. Anything with feathers must be replaced at least every three years. It's shocking, but after 2 years, ten percent of your pillow weight is due to dust mites, mold, fungus, droppings and bacteria. Pretty gross, huh? For everything you could ever want to know about these mites, click here.

Believe me, boys, when I tell you thread count matters. The thread count of a sheet refers to the number of threads that are woven together to make up one square inch of your linens. As a rule of thumb, your sheets shouldn't be any less than 200-thread count. The more threads, the softer the sheets. Nirvana can be achieved at 1000-thread count (or so I've heard). For more information, click here. Ideally, I would shoot for 400 count. That's a grown-up thread-count, it won't break the bank, and your girlfriend will be tres impressed. Every good store has an annual sale, and that's the perfect time to stock up on linens. Restoration Hardware is known for having 'masculine' colors and patterns for the bed and bath, so their site could be a starting point.

Some small improvements to your bedroom will make a world of difference for you and for us. Besides, it's a nice way to begin appreciating the little, subtle things around you, which we find very sexy. Stay tuned for bathroom advice!

Source

The How-To Lounge: Hiring a Housekeeper

DearSugar — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 09:30:00 -0700

There never seems to be enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished, especially for working moms who always have their hands full. Luckily there are ways to get help with all the mundane chores you are too tired to tend to after a long day. In this How to Lounge, I am here to give you some tips on how to find a good housekeeper who you can trust to make your home spic and span while you are busy working, playing with your kids, enjoying time with your mate, or just relaxing.

Click here to read more

The most important thing to take into consideration when hiring a housekeeper is the safety of your personal belongings. You need to be able to trust this man or woman 100%
Ask your friends or family members for recommendations. If they have had good luck with someone, perhaps you can use them as well or they could have friends that they recommend
There are many housecleaning agencies or services out there where you can actually test a few cleaners in order to find the right match for you. If you live close to a hotel or if you like your office cleaner, ask if they are interested in cleaning a smaller space
Regardless of how you meet your housekeeper, it is imperative to interview them and get a feel for their character
Make sure you are clear about the details: Who will purchase the supplies, will he or she have a key, will he or she clean alone, will you be home while he or she is cleaning, payment, scheduling, insurance, what will happen if he or she is sick, how you like your things to be cleaned, if he or she will do laundry, how you like your bed made, etc.
Over time, if you see that it is taking less time for your housekeeper to clean your home, give him or her specific projects; organizing your closet, polishing your silver, cleaning your refrigerator, etc.
Depending on the size of your home or apartment, it is recommended that your housekeeper should come for three to five hours every other week, obviously more frequently if you have animals, children, or if you share an apartment with more than one other person

Finding someone who does a good job and who you trust could take some time, so once you establish a good working relationship, keep him or her close! Good luck.

Source

Hospital Chart Bloopers

GiggleSugar — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:00:00 -0700

There is nothing funny about being ill, but then again, we never get to see what the docs write down in those top secret hospital charts. Now there's some sick humor:

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Source and Cartoon Source

Don't Mess With Texas! (Angry Rabbit Edition)

GiggleSugar — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 09:02:00 -0800

This rabbit with a Texas-sized temper got up on the wrong side of the bed. And this poor snake (that's right, I said "poor snake") happened to be there.

Texas Rabbits Rule - video powered by Metacafe

Off To The Big Apple

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 08:14:15 -0800

Dear Sugar
Next fall, I will be moving to New York City to attend college. Even though I would love to be able to take all of my clothes with me, I've heard that the dorm rooms were small and the closet space was almost non existant. Could you suggest some key items that will help me survive the big apple while still being stylish? College Bound Beatrice

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear College Bound Beatrice
What an exciting journey you are about to begin. You are correct, dorm rooms in general are very small and the closets are unfortunately extremely small. New York has four seasons, you should plan to pack by season and swap out your wardrobe when the weather changes.

Since coats take up a lot of room, invest in an adhesive coat rack to hang on the outside of your door. Crates or plastic containers are also great for storing big sweaters or shoes underneath your bed. The Container Store sells hangers that can hold multiple pants which will leave more room in your closet for tops and dresses.

Since space is such a big concern, bring a lot of accessories to keep fresh and stylish. Belts are very in right now and can jazz up any sweater or blouse. Jewelry can make a simple black shirt look brand new after each wear. Scarfs and hats add style to winter wear and sunglasses and sandals add style to summer wear.

Every dorm room is different but organization is key. Plan to pack lightly and hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised by the size of your closet and you will have enough room to go shopping in the fashion capital of the Unites States. Have fun.