TresSugar

Turn-On or Turn-Off: Gray Hair

DearSugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:30:00 -0800

We live in a culture that places a lot of emphasis on youth and looking young, which is why many women take to hair dye before they let a strand of gray tarnish their locks. While there are some men who also opt for a good dye job at the first sign of gray, it’s more common for a guy to let his hair naturally do what it’s going to do. Now, I’m not saying I’m into men decades older than me, but I do think a bit of gray flecking a beard or a salt and pepper mane can be pretty gorgeous. So do you think gray hair is a turn-on or turn-off?

Source

It's Official: Red Is a Turn-On

DearSugar — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Red has always been bold, but as it turns out, now it's officially sexy! A new study, as reported by Reuters, offers evidence that men are attracted to women in red. Researchers showed young heterosexual men pictures of women wearing different colors and asked them to rate the women by attractiveness and their desire to both kiss and have sex with them. Needless to say, red was the clear winner.

The study didn't offer any specific explanations for why the color red has this effect on men, except to say it could be an evolutionary trait or just the fact that red has long been associated with love. I'm no evolutionary scientist, but my bet's on the fact that for decades, red has been marketed not just as romantic (Valentine's Day cards and gifts) but also sexy (red lipstick and nail polish). Whatever the reason, if you're looking for a way to get the guys to notice you, a red top might just be the ticket. But we all have our own go-to outfits when we're trying to be sexy; if yours isn't a slinky red dress, what is it?

Source

Do Tell: Are You Into Dirty Talk?

DearSugar — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:00:00 -0700

I know that most of you aren't fans of baby talk, but what about dirty talk? For some, it's easy to let your mouth run wild, whether it's talking out your fantasies or descriptively describing the act at hand, but knowing how to talk dirty in a way that makes it seductive is key in order for it to work! Of course we all like to hear that we're desirable, but do tell, are you generally into dirty talk? Does it turn you on or does it have the opposite effect? And if you're into it, are you the dirty talker or do you like to hear it from your partner?

Source

It's Complicated: How Women Determine Facial Attractiveness

TresSugar — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0700

It's no surprise that how women determine facial attractiveness is complicated. Unlike many men who may give a woman's body a once-over, and then look at her face, deeming her attractive or unattractive, women, when checking out a man's face, tend to evaluate it on two levels, according to a study that was just published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

The first level women use to evaluate men's faces is sexual: they zero in on features like the jawbone, cheekbones, and lips. Then, they look at the entire face for how pleasing the overall aesthetics of the face are.

Researchers set out to prove this dual-process theory by asking two groups of 50 heterosexual women to look at pictures of men's and women's faces.

The first group was given pictures of men and women and told that some of them would be hypothetical dates (sexual) and others hypothetical lab partners (aesthetic). They rated them as attractive accordingly.

For the second group of straight women, they were given the same images, but the faces were split in two with the upper and lower halves shifted in opposite directions. Even with the opportunity to view female faces sexually (that is, feature by feature), the women still rated the attractiveness of female faces aesthetically, and their ratings correlated with the hypothetical lab partner ratings of the first group. When images of men's faces were split in two, however, their rating's correlated with the hypothetical date of the first group, that is, sexually.

The next stop for researchers? Figuring out how cultural differences and hormones play a role in the mechanics of female sexual attraction.

Source

Men Get Dumber Speaking to Attractive Women

TresSugar — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:00:00 -0700

In news that will surprise absolutely no one, researchers have found that men get so flummoxed when speaking to attractive women - using up most of their cognitive abilities trying to impress them - that they sometimes forget basic personal information like their own addresses!

Research showed that if (presumably straight) men spent even a few minutes with an attractive woman, they didn’t perform as well on tests that measure brain function than they did after speaking to someone they didn’t find attractive. Women didn’t seem to have this reaction in the presence of men they considered handsome.

Although psychologist Dr. George Fieldman of the British Psychological Society had a genetic/evolutionary explanation for this reaction, that men are “programmed to think about ways to pass on their genes,” I wonder how the study would have worked if they had gay men talking to men they found attractive. Would they be so flustered by their attraction they performed poorly on cognitive tests, too? Would researchers be able to argue that their distraction was “reproductively focused”?

Maybe men are just horndogs? (That's my unscientific conclusion.) What do you think?

Do Tell: What Traits Do You Find Attractive?

TresSugar — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0700

We women have distinctive tastes. Unlike men, women have varying opinions on what is attractive.

A study we discussed earlier this week asked people to rate pictures based on attractiveness. When heterosexual men looked at photos of women, they generally agreed who was hot and who was not, typically favoring "seductive and thin women." Homosexual men agreed on male attractiveness, too. But the women in the study did not hold consistent opinions. When showed a photo, one woman would find the person attractive, while another would find the same person unattractive.

I've definitely noticed a difference in taste among my female friends. In college, my girlfriends and I would joke that we never had to worry about fighting over guys because we all had different types. Since we all seem to hold different opinions, I'm dying to know yours: what traits do you find attractive?

You Asked: I Only Attract Much Older Men

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I am a young, college student who is comfortable in her own skin. However, I seem to only be pursued by men that are much older than me. Guys my age just seem to look straight past me, while older men always show interest in me. I find this a little creepy and can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me. I'm a pretty girl by most standards, in good shape, and wear the same clothes as other girls my age. Physically, there's no reason why a young guy shouldn't be looking at me. There just seems to be something about my aura that only attracts older men.

Admittedly, I'm usually attracted to guys a little but older than myself, and when I really like someone, it has always been reciprocal. I'm not worried that I'll never meet anyone, but it bothers me that younger guys don't seem to notice me. Is there something wrong with me, and if so, what should I change?

- Older Men Only Marissa

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Older Men Only Marissa,

Though I've never laid eyes on you, if I had to guess, I would assume that you're a women who looks a few years older than her age and who brings with her a maturity associated with women in their later 20s. While there's certainly nothing wrong with that, it's not surprising that older men, who are looking for a younger woman, would find that combination attractive. Unfortunately, having a much older man interested in you can feel a bit discomforting, but you can't control who's attracted to you, only how you react to their advances. If any man, no matter the age, makes you feel the least bit uncomfortable, then keep away from him.

As far as men your age go, I would bet that your male peers are attracted to you, but unlike their older counterparts, the young men wandering your college campus are still novices when it comes to pursuing a woman. Also, you mention that you're mostly interested in men a few years older, so it may be possible that around men your age, you're giving off an indifferent vibe that they're responding to by keeping away. If you want to start connecting with them more, don't be afraid to reach out via a quick conversation or even a smile; they're probably just waiting for an invitation.

Source

Study Suggests Opposites Don't Attract

DearSugar — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Opposites attract, right? Paula Abdul said so, but as it turns out, she may need to rewrite that song! A new study shows that when it comes to finding a long-term partner, people look for others who share similar characteristics.

In the study, 760 people were asked if they preferred someone who complemented them or someone who resembled them, and you guessed it - they wanted to be with someone who was more like them. These findings supported a previous study that showed sharing a similar personality was more important than sharing similar attitudes about religion. So although you may be attracted to someone who's different, it often times doesn't develop into a serious relationship. Have you found this to be true?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Being Attracted to the Right Type

DearSugar — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

For whatever reason, most of us continually find ourselves attracted to a certain type of person. Sometimes you don’t even notice it, but you can usually find a common thread that runs throughout your past partners and love interests. Unfortunately, because of this strange phenomenon, many people end up dating the wrong guys over and over again. The only way to break this cycle is to make a conscious effort to change; to learn how read more.

First of all, determine what your type really is. Are you attracted to guys who are innately selfish or who are looking for a girlfriend willing to be their second mother? If you’ve had a bad string of relationships, sit down and closely examine what they all had in common and go from there.
Once you’ve determined the “what,” start working on the “why.” Consider what about that particular kind of person is appealing to you. For many women, the belief that they can change someone is a huge part of the attraction.
Now that you’ve located exactly what it is that you need to stay away from and why you’re so drawn to it in the first place, you can really start working to change things by examining each encounter with a potential date closely. Pinpoint exactly where your attraction is coming from. As hard as it may be, if it feels like your usual pattern, you have to just walk away.
Often when we’re starting to date someone new, we focus on the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling more than we should. That feeling is important, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you rely on. Start digging deeper right in the beginning; what else does he have to offer you besides that initial attraction?
Give a new kind of guy the benefit of the doubt. Instead of writing him off, start taking note of the things you do like about him. This doesn’t mean you have to force something that isn’t there, but it’s great practice for retraining your mind to look for the attributes that you want to start going for.

Source

Dear Poll: Should Attraction Be Instantaneous or Grow Over Time?

DearSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Though we all have different opinions on whether or not love at first sight is possible, I’m sure we’ve all experienced serious attraction upon a first encounter - and I don’t just mean physical - sometimes you just connect!

Then again, it’s also common for feelings of attraction to grow over time; you can meet someone as a friend and find yourself more and more attracted as you get to know him. I'm guessing we've all experienced both types of attraction, but when it comes to creating a lasting relationship, which do you think is better?

Source