TresSugar

Men Get Dumber Speaking to Attractive Women

TresSugar — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:00:00 -0700

In news that will surprise absolutely no one, researchers have found that men get so flummoxed when speaking to attractive women - using up most of their cognitive abilities trying to impress them - that they sometimes forget basic personal information like their own addresses!

Research showed that if (presumably straight) men spent even a few minutes with an attractive woman, they didn’t perform as well on tests that measure brain function than they did after speaking to someone they didn’t find attractive. Women didn’t seem to have this reaction in the presence of men they considered handsome.

Although psychologist Dr. George Fieldman of the British Psychological Society had a genetic/evolutionary explanation for this reaction, that men are “programmed to think about ways to pass on their genes,” I wonder how the study would have worked if they had gay men talking to men they found attractive. Would they be so flustered by their attraction they performed poorly on cognitive tests, too? Would researchers be able to argue that their distraction was “reproductively focused”?

Maybe men are just horndogs? (That's my unscientific conclusion.) What do you think?

Women Can Be More Choosy With Dates Than Men

TresSugar — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 01:00:00 -0700

Single women, I have good news and bad news for you. The good news: there's less competition in the dating pool for the man of your dreams than you probably thought. The bad? There's more choices for them since men are more likely to prefer one type of woman. A thin, seductive type.

Researchers at Wake Forest University classified photos of men and women, ages 18-25, as seductive, confident, thin, sensitive, stylish, curvaceous (women), muscular (men), traditional, masculine/feminine, classy, well-groomed, or upbeat in appearance. A subjective method for sure, but it was necessary to identify the common characteristics that appealed to men and women.

Overall, women showed a small preference for thin, muscular men; however, many women rated those same men as extremely unattractive. There was a great disparity among what women found attractive and unattractive. Men were much more consistent, choosing candidates who were classified as thin, seductive, and confident.

So if you have a type, know there are fewer women vying for him than you probably think. The downside, of course, is that men are more tunnel-visioned when it comes to women, adding another drop in the bucket of reasons women feel the need to conform to a societal standard of beauty. Oh, well. Maybe next study!

Photo by Flickr User BostonBill

Do Tell: What's Your Favorite Look on a Man?

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0800

There's nothing as hot as a guy in a suit - but then again, I love when guys keep it simple in good jeans and a plain t-shirt. It totally depends on the occasion, I know, but generally speaking, do tell, what's your favorite look on a guy?

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This or That: Athletic or Slender Build?

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Of course, personality, charm, wit, and good looks are important when it comes to scouting out a potential suitor, but body type definitely plays a role, too. I personally like bigger men, who make me feel small and more importantly protected, but I have friends that have always been attracted to slender, skinny guys. It's all about personal preference so tell me, do you prefer a man with an athletic or slender build?

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Do You Believe in Pheromones?

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:00:46 -0800

Some guys seem to exude sex, a trait often attributed to pheromones, the chemical signals that people supposedly emit when they're in the mood. But turns out, scientists have never been able to find evidence of such pheromones in humans.

In an essay published in the journal Nature, scientists say they haven't pinned down so-called "releaser pheromones" in humans, which would trigger sexual desire. They have, however, found evidence of "primer pheromones" related to physical reactions. Here's more:

Scientists have observed what they think are the effects of human primer pheromones, including studies showing that some compound in the extract from a woman's armpit can cause menstrual cycles of nearby women to sync up. And a recent study found that women can smell a guy's sexual intentions. . . . But without any actual chemicals identified as pheromones, scientists can't test effects on humans, so the jury is out as to whether we communicate via pheromones.

OK, first of all: How cool is it that they may have proven that menstrual-cycle syncing actually happens?! I thought that was just a myth. That makes me wonder if the sexual pheromones thing is also a myth or if maybe it's just not proven yet. What do you think?

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Group Therapy: Is Commitment About Romance or Partnership?

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I have recently started dating a guy that is seven years older than me. I am not so much physically attracted to him, but there are certain things I just love about him. He's a grown up, successful, well-educated, and wants to start a family soon. He treats me well and I think he would be a great father and husband. So does it matter that I don't get butterflies in my stomach when I'm with him? Should I pursue this relationship because it makes sense or wait for someone that makes my stomach turn? Puppy love and lust fade away eventually anyway, right?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Ask a Bad Boy: Are Hot Men Only Interested in Hot Women?

DearSugar — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Steve Santagati, the author of The Manual, is back! To ask Steve questions of your own, simply submit them here or in the comments section below. Enjoy!

Dear Steve,

I'm no Ugly Betty, but I'm not a super model either, and I'm having a hard time meeting a man. It seems like the hot men I'm attracted to are only attracted to beautiful women - regardless of their personality - and I'm starting to feel incredibly discouraged. Whatever happened to a guy being interested in a woman for her charisma, her humor, or her intelligence? I'm trying hard not to lump all men into the same category, but not one has proven me wrong. Are men really that shallow? Are looks all that matter? - Frustrated Faith

To see Steve's answer read more

Dear Frustrated Faith,

It can be argued that men are - in fact - more shallow than women. Yes, men are more visually driven creatures and we're often obvious in the reasons behind our female selections. At least with men you know what you're up against. But women are tricky in what they say versus how they execute their mating decisions. Women are often just as bad as men, though their criteria may be different, the superficial standards garner the same results; women want someone hot.

How often have you heard this, it's like a broken record; "I want him to love me for me, I want him to love me for my inside." Yea, well what if the "outside" is lazy, unkempt, and lacks basic femininity? There are women out there who will blame men for being a "Shallow Hal" when in fact it's their own fault men don't notice or ask them out. Think about it, if you saw a house covered in vines with rats running around the front yard, I doubt you'd want to take a look inside. Even if that "inside" is the Taj Mahal, you have to look good inside and outside.

The problem(s):

Many women and men try to date out of their league in looks, education, and life interests.
Many women and men don't take the time to eat properly, dress well, or take care of their bodies, yet they still expect to get a stud or a studette.
Many women make excuses and blame people - other than themselves - for their misfortune in love. Remember; whenever you point your finger, you have three fingers pointing back at yourself. Cliche maybe, but true.

The solution:

Stand in the mirror naked. Love your body type regardless of what type it is. Don't read women's magazines or let TV tell you what sexy is. Men love all types. We just don't love lazy and unhealthy. It's not more complicated than that.
Take stock of "what you have to bring to the table". Are you well traveled? Do you have a ton of hobbies? Are you funny and fun to be with? Do you like music? How smart are you? What kind of shape are you in? Are you a sex machine? Go for someone that is equal or maybe one rung up in those categories.
Be culpable and honest with yourself; we're all shallow to some degree or another. I've challenged the "love me for my inside" types by telling them I had a great guy for them. I explained that he weighed 350 pounds, didn't have all his teeth, and was balding. I also explained that he's loyal, cooks, loves sex, and adores women. To this match attempt I've received a steady breath of "no ways".

So in the end - ladies and gentlemen - we are all shallow; some of which is based in our proclivity towards following natural selection and part of which is rooted in stupidity or delusion. The news you can use is: In the beginning, we're all a bit shallow, but what keeps a relationship going is charisma, humor, and intelligence. [And a million other things, but I'll leave it at that!]

To purchase The Manual, click here and if you're wondering where Steve got that T-shirt he's wearing, click here to shop his entire assortment!

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Five Times We Are Sexy to Men

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Feeling sexy means something different for every woman. Sometimes it's when we're in sexy clothes, and other times it's when we've just woken up, au naturale. Of course it is all about how you feel inside, but according to the October issue of Glamour magazine, it's these five simple acts that men find sexy. Check out what they are below:

When you lock eyes and smile: Researchers at Scotland's University of Aberdeen Face Research Lab proved that when a woman looks at a man, smiles genuinely and locks eyes with him, he finds her face much more attractive than if she were to stare at him without the grin.

When you use girly body language: According to the classic study of 1985 conducted by psychologist Monica Moore, PhD, women have 35 "courtship signals" ranging from hair-flipping to lip-licking that work when attracting men. In Moore's study, the women who used these body language techniques were approached by an average of four men. Those that didn't use body language didn't get approached at all.

Want to see the other three? Just click here to read more.

When you don't starve yourself: After researchers at the University of Texas at Austin drew figures of female body types for their participants, all the men were more attracted to the curvy images. Apparently men subconsciously know that curves are a sign of health and fertility - nice!

When you're ovulating: Men are especially attracted to women when they ovulate. Researchers say that estrogen plumps skin and lips and promotes a healthy glow so ladies, be sure to hit the town come ovulation time!

When you're the woman he loves: Just because you're coupled up doesn't mean the passion is gone. Research proves that men who know, like and respect someone find her more attractive. And the more he loves you, the sexier you become in his eyes!

Do you agree with these picks? Do you think anything is missing from this list? Share your thoughts below.

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The Best Bad Boys

DearSugar — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:00:00 -0700

If our 90210 poll is any indication, it looks like a lot of us have a thing for the bad boys, myself included! In honor of our affinity for these sexy troublemakers, I've decided to put together a slideshow of contemporary and hunky bad boys for your viewing pleasure. Check them out and share your own favorites! Source

View Slideshow ›

What's With Men Shooting Way Out of Their League?

DearSugar — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Do you ever notice that gorgeous women are always getting hit on by not-so-gorgeous guys? In the movie Knocked Up, this point is illustrated to a T when Ben says, "You're prettier than I am," right before pouncing on Alison.

Although these characters are fictional, this happens all the time, and now there's a study to prove it. No matter how unattractive a guy thinks he is, nothing will stop him from hitting on a woman who looks like she should be on the cover of Elle magazine. In this study, 16,550 people were asked to rate their attractiveness and the looks of the people they date. The researchers discovered that men think appearance is way up there on the scale of importance, more so than women, and their own less-attractive appearance wouldn't stand in their way when it comes to going for a "hottie."

To hear more about this interesting topic, read more.

Perhaps this is due to men hoping women are more interested in inner beauty, or maybe male egos have something to do with it too. Whatever the case, the study suggests that eventually, men learn to accept that they most likely won't be able to get a date with an overly beautiful woman, since "The 10s among us, both male and female, want only to date other 10s." But hey, I give these guys credit for trying - you never know what could happen!