TresSugar

Growing Old With a Good Friend

DearSugar — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Even if you aren't afraid of getting older - it is, after all, an inevitable fact of life - it can be scary to think that you might grow old alone. I used to say that if I were single in my golden years, I'd want to have one of my good girlfriends by my side. We could reminisce about the good ol' times, complain about the kids these days, and sip cocktails out of coconuts. Better yet, we could take care of each other in our old age. As it turns out, some female friends are doing just that, and then some.

Yesterday I came across this post on the New York Times's The New Old Age blog, about single women who have set up joint housekeeping and medical care agreements, so they know someone is looking out for them even if they don't have husbands or children as caretakers. For the details, read more.

Despite the fact that mere friendships aren't afforded legal status in this country, some friends are formalizing their love for each other with unique arrangements. Explains author Jane Gross:

Another friend, Ann, shares my fantasy of setting up joint housekeeping, assuming she outlives her husband. Our thinking goes something like this: If one of us can see and the other hear, if one of us is mobile and the other cognitively intact, we'll muddle through as long as we can and then pool our insurance premiums to hire home care. We'd prefer to use the benefit for a masseuse and a manicurist but know it would be a hard sell to persuade MetLife that those were the kinds of "activities of daily living" our policies cover.

I’ve written before about pairs or small groups of unrelated women who are already doing this, some even constructing houses designed for their old age. But these arrangements, however cozy and comforting, exist outside the law, since friendship remains, and likely will always remain, an unsanctioned relationship with none of the legal rights granted to parents, children, spouses and, in some locations, domestic partners.

As Gross points out, caring for friends in their old age may only be an option for people who are financially independent, since paid time off for caretaking wouldn't apply. But if you had a retirement cushion that allowed you to enter into such an arrangement, it could be a lovely way to live out your golden years. What do you think? Would you ever consider something like this?

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Do Tell: How Have Your Partying Habits Changed?

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 10:00:00 -0700

When we're in college, staying out all night and sleeping the day away is totally acceptable. But as we get older, our hard-partying ways can soften. The older I get, the more I worry about getting enough sleep, as opposed to getting enough booze. Don't get me wrong: I can still pull out all the stops when I need to, and I hate to pass up a good party! But most of the time, I find that my social obligations involve more nice dinners, happy hours, and conversations, coupled with turning in early.

And you know what? It doesn't really bother me, which is possibly the clearest sign that I'm getting older. Do tell: What about you? Did you used to be a big partier and, if so, have you calmed down over time? What parts of partying make you feel old now? If you're still in your party phase, how much longer do you think it will last?

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Dear Poll: Are You More of a Crier the Older You Get?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

After the Sex and the City screening last week, several Sugar girls admitted that the movie made them cry. The consensus seemed to be that even those of us who never cried much when we were younger now get choked up very easily by TV shows, weddings, songs - you name it.

I think that many women cry more often as we get older. Maybe it's hormonal, but it seems to happen to women in their late 20s and on. I'm wondering if this is common: Have you noticed that you cry more during movies, TV shows, and weddings as you get older?

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Do Tell: How Do You Feel About Your Birthday?

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:00:23 -0700

Some women embrace their birthdays with unbridled excitement, either as an excuse to celebrate with friends or because they like being the center of attention. Other people - especially as they get older - choose to mark their birthdays quietly or not celebrate them at all. Then, of course, there are some folks who even celebrate their half birthdays!

Are you the type who goes all out in celebration of yourself, or would you rather ignore the fact that you're getting older? On that note, has your attitude toward your birthday changed as you've aged? Do tell: Are you a birthday girl? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Dear Poll: How Do You Feel About Getting Older?

DearSugar — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 13:00:00 -0800

Everyone loves to say that 40 is the new 30, but is that because we're living longer or because plastic surgeons keep us looking younger and younger? Either way, getting older isn't just about gaining wisdom, it's also about facing insecurities. Sure, who wouldn't want to stay 21 forever, right on the cusp of adulthood, but personally, I think Jeana on The Real Housewives of Orange County hit the nail right on the head when she said, "If you're not getting older, you're dead." So how do you feel about getting older? Do you look forward to each birthday or do you dread them?

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Do Tell: What Scares You the Most About Aging?

DearSugar — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0700

I am still relatively young, but growing old scares me to no end. I am in good health, but relying on others when I'm not is what makes me so uneasy and already almost guilty. I know I am not alone here, so do tell, if you had to name one thing that frightens you most about getting old, what would it be?

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The How-To Lounge: Looking Younger

DearSugar — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:30:00 -0700

Have you noticed a few more lines around your eyes, or have you spotted your first grey hair yet? Well if so, you're not alone. Although there is no real fountain of youth out there, here are some easy, all natural ways to help stay looking as young as possible.

Click here to read more

As good as a suntanned face looks, don't leave home without your SPF, even if it's cloudy outside. To eliminate one step in your getting ready routine, use a moisturizer with SPF 15
If you're a smoker, quit. Cigarette smoke breaks down the collagen in your skin which makes it smooth and can cut the oxygen flow to your skin by up to 30%
Keep an eye on your alcohol intake. Alcohol dehydrates you leaving your skin dry, which can result in wrinkles. Since a glass of wine here and there can keep you healthy, you don't need to quit cold turkey, but be sure to drink plenty of water
Exercise. Working out will send oxygen to the skin which will increase collagen, will help you sweat out your toxins, and will give you a healthy glow
Stick to a healthy, anti-aging diet. Fruits, veggies, whole grains and olive oil and vitamins can help you stay looking young
Stress is a major aging culprit. Not only can it age your cells by 10 years, but it wreaks havoc on your heart and your mind so try to de-stress at work and at home as much as you can
Don't sleep with your make up on. This will also dry out your skin and make it hard for your pores to breathe. The extra 5 minutes will leave your skin thanking you and I guarantee it will have you feeling much better in the morning

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Do Tell: Would you Want to Stop Time?

DearSugar — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 08:30:00 -0700

Do birthdays give you the blues? Do you look back at your younger years and say, wow, if only I could have stayed 24 forever?! That statement has certainly come out of my mouth a few times, but my older friends are always there to reassure me that life just keeps getting better with age. So ladies, do tell, if you could stop aging at any point in your life, what age would you want to be forever?

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Group Therapy: What's the best advice you would give someone turning 25???

Wed, 23 May 2007 07:28:29 -0700

I'm turning 25 next month. I'm half freaked out and half excited. This is all going so fast. Just yesterday I was 19! Lordy! Anyone over the age 25 tell me what you wish you would've known back then.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

Dear Poll: What Male Celebrity do you Think Would Benefit from a Make Under?

DearSugar — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 10:30:00 -0700

Fergie is taking the lead in yesterday's poll on what female celebrity would most benefit from a make under. All your comments have been great, so I thought I would ask you the same question for the nipped and tucked men in Hollywood.

I happen to think most men get better looking with age, George Clooney anyone, yet some male stars continue to succumb to the pressures of ageism in Hollywood. Being vein is no longer a stigma attached to women, and men aren't wasting any time "fixing" themselves. So, which male star do you think would benefit from a make under? I know whom Fab wouldn't pick!

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