TresSugar

10 Ways to Get Honest About Love Addiction

TresSugar — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:20:00 PDT

That all-consuming, over-the-top love sounds romantic and beautiful, but this type of idealized love can be equally damaging. I think Dr. Drew Pinsky of Celebrity Rehab says it best. He has referred to love addiction as an issue for people who "mistake intensity for intimacy." We hear about substance addiction constantly, and sex addiction more and more frequently, but love addiction rarely gets radio play. The reason? There's a very blurred line between powerful romance and love addiction.

When it comes to loving relationships, do you ever worry that you're in over your head? Here are 10 questions to ask yourself if you think you're addicted to love.

Are you very needy when it comes to relationships?
Do you constantly fantasize about love? Does it get in the way of important tasks?
Is initial attraction your No. 1 priority when falling in love?
When you experience a breakup, do you feel like your life is over?
Are you terrified of never finding "true" love?
Are you willing to suffer in a relationship just to avoid separation anxiety?
Is love the most important thing in the world to you?
Do you feel an overwhelming need to check up on your partner?
Have you ever chased after someone who has neglected you?
Does the mantra "All is fair in love and war" sound eerily familiar?

If a majority of these questions hit home for you, it may be time to get honest with yourself about being in love with love. Have you ever experienced love addiction or known someone who has this recurring issue? Start the conversation and comment below.

Game Over: Video Game Addiction Blamed For 15 Percent of Divorces

Kristy Korcz — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:48:11 PDT

As if your obsessive Facebook habits weren't enough, a recent study performed by Divorce Online shows that 15 percent of divorces are due to a video game addiction; that's up from 5 percent the year before. Which games are causing the most trouble in marriages? Titles like World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, and Halo were cited most often, but casual Facebook games were also a sore spot in rocky unions. What's worse, symptoms of a video game addiction can be similar to those of a drug or gambling addiction. If it sounds scary, it's because it is - seclusion, obsessive behavior, sudden weight loss or gain, lack of personal hygiene, sleep deprivation, and even child neglect can not only cause problems at home, but in professional lives and legal arenas as well.

But there is hope! Get a few tips on how to keep the love alive (and your partner safe) after the break.

New Study Shows Foods May Be as Addictive as Drugs

Susannah Chen — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 11:15:17 PDT

Like nicotine, alcohol, or heroin, is food a habit-forming substance? New research says yes, and suggests pathological eating belongs in the category of addiction.

A recent study at Yale University claims to be the first to differentiate food addicts from mere overeaters. Before subjecting 39 women to magnetic resonance imaging, the study asked participants to complete a questionnaire designed to identify pathological eaters. When shown an image of a milkshake, those who scored high on the questionnaire also had dramatically greater neurological activity in the same regions of the brain where cravings for drugs and alcohol are experienced.

The conclusion? Among dependent eaters, "the current emphasis on personal responsibility . . . may have minimal effectiveness."

The proliferation of junk food could be part of the issue, too, as they're packed with more salt, sugar, and fat to enhance their flavors, sending more immediate messages of gratification to the brain. Where do you stand in the debate? Could you see the possibility of certain foods being habit-forming?

Group Therapy: Supporting an Old Friend After Rehab and Betrayal

Tres Community — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 03:05:57 PDT

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

A friend of mine recently completed a rehab program and contacted me to make amends. As you might imagine, our friendship went from close, to strained, to non-existent for reasons both directly and indirectly related to her addiction. There was a straw/camel’s back situation a few years ago, which led to me completely cutting her off.

Despite that, I’m still the only friend she has left. I really want her to lead a happy and sober life. I do care about her and we have lots of good memories together from the years we were friends. But peppered throughout those years were all sorts of betrayals, drama, and negativity. My life since I cut her out has been drastically better; the people around me are people I trust and drama is rare. I guess I just don’t know where she fits into my life anymore.

I should add that when we spoke, it seemed like she was really committed to staying sober and not engaging in the other destructive behaviors that caused our friendship breakup. But you can imagine why I would be hesitant to believe that after years of lies.

I guess my question is: Is it an obligation of mine to be one of her main support systems since she doesn't have other friends? Can I be supportive of her new life without really letting her back into mine? Can people really change, not just get clean, but actually change how they interact with and treat people during rehab? Also, I’d just be interested in hearing from anyone who has gone through rehab themselves or had a friend or loved one transition to a sober life.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Tim McGraw on Drunk Texting

TresSugar — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 16:10:12 PST

"I only learned how to text because back when I was drinking, I would get in trouble when I would call my wife and she would find out I was drinking. And then I started slurring my texts and I figured hell, I gotta quit drinking. Thank God nobody knew anything about Skype back then - I would've never stayed out of trouble!"

- Tim McGraw says his inability to text straight, along with his wife's disapproval, got him to stop drinking. Drunk dialing or texting is an embarrassing yet efficient wake-up call.

Lady Gaga Does Drugs Occasionally - Do You?

FitSugar — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 12:00:04 PDT

Drugs like cocaine, heroin, and marijuana are not only harmful to our bodies, but they're also illegal. Of course, that doesn't stop people from doing them. In a recent Vanity Fair interview for the September issue, Lady Gaga said she's "terrified of heroin," but was honest about her cocaine use.

"I won't lie; it's occasional. And when I say occasional, I mean maybe a couple of times a year."

The 24-year-old singer definitely doesn't condone drug use and says,

"I do not want my fans to ever emulate that or be that way. I don't want my fans to think they have to be that way to be great. It's in the past. It was a low point, and it led to disaster."

Gaga has had scary experiences with drug use, but I suppose in the celeb and rock star world, it's tough to break away from drugs completely. But using drugs isn't strictly for the rich and famous. Although it's not something people like to talk about openly, through this anonymous poll, I'm wondering . . .

How to Tell If You're an Exercise Addict

FitSugar — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:00:36 PDT

I've heard myself tell people, "I'm addicted to running," but really what I mean is I love it. I crave hitting the trails and pavement because of how good running makes me feel, both during and after a workout. I shouldn't throw my words around so lightly though, because exercise addiction is a real condition. There's a big difference between running complementing your life and running being your life.

Learn the signs of an exercise addiction when you

Group Therapy: Should I Stick by My Alcoholic Ex?

Tres Community — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 11:00:42 PDT

This is an excerpt from a Group Therapy question in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I just broke up because of his drinking problem. He's such an amazing person. Smart, kind, considerate, loving, fun. When he wasn't drinking he was the most amazing person I ever met. Always quick to do or say something sweet. He's had a checkered past and I knew all about it before we became bf/gf. He's turned his life around . . . except for his drinking. I've never been around an alcoholic and it's the most horrible thing ever. He is mostly an angry drunk. He turns everything around on me and tells me how horrible I am. There' s no talking to him when he gets like this, he just wants to start a fight. It would break my heart every time he would get like that. He's such a great person and then when he drinks this monster comes out. I know it's his addiction talking and not him but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I can't make him change his ways and it makes me wonder if he will ever want to change for himself.

He has told me that alcohol has ruined all of his relationships, his family, jobs, etc. It just hurts to see this has taken over his life and he can't or won't overcome it. He has been in rehab twice in his past and has been able to stay sober for months at a time. He likes to surround himself with people who are not good for him and that's how he slipped the last time. His girlfriend at the time was an alcoholic, coke-abusing stripper. Their relationship was based on drinking and partying. It's still going to be hard to overcome his addiction surrounded by positive people but I feel as if hanging out with like-minded alcohol abusing people completely dooms any chance he has at recovery. My question here is, is it dumb of me to stick around?

Read the rest here.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Addicted to Love? Getting Over an Ex Is Like Withdrawal

TresSugar — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 11:30:02 PDT

If you've ever felt like you're going through withdrawal after a breakup, it's because you are. A new study in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology says getting over a breakup is akin to kicking an addiction.

Researchers asked jilted men and women to look at pictures of their heartbreakers, and immediately parts of the brain associated with emotional control, motivation and reward, cravings, attachment, and physical pain lit up.

Like most research findings, there's an evolutionary explanation. Brains evolved to heave all our romantic hopes onto one person for mating purposes, so losing that person is like losing life's grand prize: a mating partner. The results are considered insight into why the heartbroken are driven to crimes of passion like stalking and homicide. The good news? Now there's a scientific rationale for why we stalk exes on the Internet.

While it may be the first study to examine the brain of the newly brokenhearted, its advice is as old as love: "time seems to heal." Thanks, science!

No Such Thing as "Social Smoking"

FitSugar — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 10:00:01 PDT

One cigarette a month may not feel like a habit, but it can still get you hooked on nicotine. That's according to a study of adolescent smokers published in Pediatrics, which suggests that teens' experimentation with the occasional cigarette can lead to a lifetime of addiction.

The four-year study started with 1,246 middle school students and found that those who smoked even one cigarette a month were likely to become hooked, suggesting that what feels like mere enjoyment can build into dependence. Kids may become addicted without even realizing it until they turn 18 and can buy their own. Says Joseph DiFranza, who helped author the study:

"What happens is when you first get addicted, one cigarette a month or one cigarette a week is enough to keep your addiction satisfied. But as time goes by, you have to smoke cigarettes more and more frequently. So people may be addicted for more than a year before they feel the need to smoke a cigarette every day."

Approximately one-quarter of the teens studied experienced withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit, just three or more years after starting. This news doesn't surprise me; in fact, it confirms what I've witnessed firsthand. What about you? Did you smoke as a teen or socially then find it hard to stop? I've got seven tips to help you quit if you need a hand.