TresSugar

Sunday Confessional: She's Feeling Jealous

TresSugar — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:00:05 -0800

This week's anonymous confession comes from the TrèsSugar Community group Confession Booth. This confessor finds herself worried about her boyfriend's co-worker. She explains:

"Before we started dating my boyfriend slept with someone he still works with. He just recently told me this and it's driving me nuts!!!!!!"

Do you think this is a big deal?

Have You Ever Had an Office Affair?

TresSugar — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

You don't have to be a late night comedian like David Letterman or Jimmy Kimmel to have an affair at work. Office romances are so prevalent these days that companies are asking in-office couples to sign "love contracts" to protect themselves and the company from lawsuits should something go wrong.

So how many people are finding love at work? According to a recent survey, 60 percent of employees in America have had an office relationship. That's up from 47 percent in 2003. Do you count among the people who have dipped their pens in the company ink?

Awkward! A Co-Worker Keeps Touching Me

TresSugar — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario requiring your advice. (Have some awkward tales of your own? Join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

"I have a co-worker who I like except for one extremely annoying habit of hers: when she tries to get my attention, she pats me on the head. I'm not touchy-feely to begin with, and would jump if someone tapped my shoulder, so this is really too much. Plus, it almost feels like I'm being condescended to. Don't you pat babies and puppies on the head? I want to tell her without getting too defensive that I really wish she'd stop this and just email me before she comes over, instead of patting me on the damn head! What's the best way to do this?"

What Kind of Employee Are You?

TresSugar — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Your answer, it turns out, could make you richer or poorer than your female colleagues.

In an Essex University study called Does It Pay to Be Nice?, researcher Guido Heineck found that women who exhibited so-called "masculine" traits (aggressiveness or assertiveness, I imagine) earned about four percent more than their nicer or more passive colleagues over the course of their lives. To put a number on it, these Alpha Females earned about 40,000 pounds (or $65,224) more in their lifetime.

Conscientious women, or "women who displayed self-control and persistence" earned up to five percent more than their lazier co-workers. Neurotic women, however, or women who were more anxious and moody on the job, earned about three percent less than their co-workers.

None of this is a surprise, if you think about it, but what's frustrating is that although personality traits were deemed as important as intelligence in women, this hardly factored in at all when it came to a man's earning potential. Researcher Heineck: "Our statistics show that being nice does not pay for women, whereas working hard does. This is probably, in part, because agreeable people are too passive in conflict situations and are poorer wage negotiators."

Awkward! Boyfriend Tells Girlfriend's Boss an Offensive Joke

TresSugar — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 11:00:00 -0700

You know how they say you shouldn't drink too much at work gatherings? After hearing this following story from a friend, I've decided I may stick to Perrier at my next official work party out of contact paranoia!

So this woman took her fun boyfriend to a work party, and after a couple beers, the guy (who apparently has no filter even when sober) started telling off-color jokes - to her conservative boss! Horrified at what was unfolding, the girlfriend elbowed him in the ribs, mumbled some sort of apology, and dragged him away.

The next morning, she apologized to her boss and told her he wasn't usually like that, but the damage is probably done. Have you ever witnessed something like this, or put your foot in your mouth while telling a dumb joke? How did it all turn out?

Say What? Some Bosses Distrust Women Without Kids

TresSugar — Thu, 21 May 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Research conducted over six years shows that far from bosses and colleagues always being suspicious of a working mother, the opposite is becoming true: it is the childless woman who is regarded as cold and odd.

An outspoken mother and former boss writes in the Daily Mail that she simply cannot understand why a healthy woman would choose not to have kids. She says that women who chose to focus on their careers, instead of starting a family, make employers question their "essential humanity." ARGH! Isn't it time we stop tying how a woman chooses to live her life to her career abilities? Could you imagine describing a working man as cold because he didn't have children?

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30 Rock: Ladies of Leisure, the Dark Side

TresSugar — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:30:00 -0700

Is being a lady of leisure totally luxurious or dangerously overrated? On this week's episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon gets a taste of the sweet life when she's temporarily suspended from her job and starts running with a crowd of wealthy, nonworking women who occupy themselves with afternoon cocktails, shopping, massages, yoga, and refreshingly regular bathroom breaks. But Liz soon learns that all that pleasure can soon lead to pain.

Do Your Co-Workers Fool Around While on the Clock?

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 10:30:00 -0700

If you watch The Office, you know that the employees of Dunder Mifflin are always up to no good, which is usually orchestrated by their boss, Michael. Sometimes their antics are endearing and promote team building, but mostly they're just wasting time and energy. While I'm pretty confident that no other workplace is anywhere near as ridiculous, I'm curious to know if you participate in any wild, funny, or just plain silly activities while on the clock. If so, tell us about them - it's Friday and I think we could all use a good laugh!

Photos courtesy of NBC

Group Therapy: I Don't Want a "Real" Job Anymore

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:00:00 -0800

I've been out of college for four years. I have a bachelor's degree in marketing, and have been employed at a well-known advertising firm ever since I graduated. I have an amazing salary, great benefits, and a prestigious job title, but the problem is I'm not happy with what I'm doing. I feel this job is sucking the life out of me. I work approximately 50 hours a week, and I have no time to enjoy life itself. I very rarely have a chance to experience sunlight, and I spend the majority of my waking hours staring at a computer screen. I feel that I have landed in a career that is entirely unsuitable for me.

I am an extremely creative-minded person, and I'm happiest when I'm writing and singing. I play the guitar and spent the majority of my free time in college doing open mic nights and jamming with friends, and I've become increasingly nostalgic for those days. I spend my entire day in the office dreaming about playing music, but by the time I get home, I'm too exhausted to do it! Every night I end up laying on the couch watching bad television. I don't have a boyfriend, and I very rarely have the energy to go out with my friends. I feel like I've become a ball of depression. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to do to climb out of this fog I'm in, and the only thing I can seem to come up with is leaving my job. The problem is, I don't want another office job. My parents paid for me to go to college for four years, so I don't think they're going to be supportive of me quitting to "find myself." Also, with the economy the way it is right now, I feel kind of guilty for wanting to leave my well-paying job. I also feel like I'll be looked upon negatively by my college friends who all have high-powered jobs and are currently working their way up the corporate ladder. Is my head in the clouds, or should I try to fulfill my dreams?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Taking It Personally

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:00:00 -0800

We all have bad days, and I'm sure it's also safe to say that we've all taken our aggression out on people that didn't deserve it. When that happens, it's usually just the anger talking, but it's sometimes hard to decipher logic from feelings. However, Emily Post says:

Don't automatically take it personally. Sometimes the offender has had a terrible day or is simply in a bad mood. Give him the benefit of the doubt by imagining what he might be going through - the string of a recent confrontation with someone, a family problem, trouble at work, the illness of a loved one.

While all those scenarios have the ability to alter someone's mood, tell me, is not taking it personally easier said than done?

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