TresSugar

Cheetahs, and Tigers, and Crows, Oh My!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

When a wild animal is discovered running loose on the streets, peeps go batsh*t. The animal, on the other hand, remains as calm as can be. The following surveillance footage shows what happens when unsuspecting pedestrians have surprise encounters with animals typically found in the wild. Their reactions, although totally warranted, are hilarious. Most of them make a run for it. Meanwhile, a tiger with a Frisbee in his mouth is left wondering where the hell he can find a bottle of agua up in this liquor store . . .

The Wild Turkey Whisperer

GiggleSugar — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:15:00 -0800

Joe Hutto has raised countless wild turkeys from the time they were eggs. He talks turkey--and that's no figure of speech. Having spent so much time with them, he's learned their language, and can mimic sounds they make to get them to come to him so he can, um, kill them and eat them for dinner. (This is a Thanksgiving post, you know).

Sample turkey talk: "Wow look at those berries! Ewww...nevermind. Those berries suck!" I kid you not. I learned about this from a New Yorker podcast. So how does wild turkey taste compared to its domestic brethren? "It tastes more like turkey," Hutto explains. "Longer in flavor. More complex." Well, I don't know about you, but wild turkey, regular turkey, or Tofurkey--I'm going to enjoy my Thanksgiving dinner! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Animals Gone Wild

GiggleSugar — Wed, 23 May 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Pets can be a royal pain in the behind (or crotch!), but when the dog's outside jumping rope with the kids--think of all the money saved that would've otherwise been spent on a babysitter. Whether they're walking in your heels or running on your treadmill, pets are worth their weight in funny. Watch and see.

E. Jean Is Back, Offering Advice to a Woman Who Hates Her Man's Scent!

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 09:00:00 -0700

Dear E. Jean,

I'm a lawyer who is seeing a kind, generous, sweet, gainfully-employed man. But in conversations with friends, I refer to him as a "smothering barnacle." I also actively avoid kissing him, can’t stand the way he smells, and his baby kisses on my forehead make me want to scratch his eyes out.

I'm almost 37, never been married, and he is a great guy, but he smells so bad (to me) that I can’t bear to be near him, though he'd probably smell irresistible to some other gal who actually loved him. Do I break up with the best guy who's ever come along? - Texas Attorney

To see E. Jean's answer, read more.

Texas, My Trollymog,

Though 99.9 percent of the Dears are dying to tell you to get RID of the fellow (and are ready to strangle me for even running this question) . . . I quite like him. He doth reeketh a whiff? So what? That scent he's wearing is called "eau de employed." In this economy, honey, you may have forgotten what a man who holds a job actually smells like.

And come on, Miss Dainty Doily, how over-refined have you Texas attorneys become? Since when does a little tang banish "the best guy who's ever come along?"

Grab him by the ears and say, "Dude. Kill the baby smooches. I’m gonna show you how I like to be kissed." And when he leans in to begin the lesson, hold up your hand, smile and whisper: "Ahhhhhh - not so fast, you bewitching animal! Your man scent is a little too intoxicating for me. So look what I found . . . " And here hand him a box of hand-soaps, shampoos, and aftershaves. (If you're the high-strung Gossip Girl type - and aren't we all? - drive home your point by removing the top from the aftershave, sniffing and staggering backwards with your hand fluttering at your heart. He'll get the picture.)

A woman can always - always! - improve a "kind, generous, sweet" man because he wants to please you. Indeed, I once scrubbed down one of my husbands in vinegar and drove him around with his head hanging out the window till he dried off.

P.S. If you've washed him up and still want to wash him out, re-gift him to the ladies on GreatBoyfriends.com and chalk it up to a bad case of the "McClintocks." Martha McClintock, PhD, of the University of Chicago, has discovered that you're a sucker for gentlemen who smell like you do, but not exactly like you do; and you go wild for a fellow who smells like your dad, but not precisely like your dad. The theory is you will choose a mate with an immune system which will give your offspring a better chance in life.

But to hell with Martha! You have 50 or 60 years worth of olfactory foul-ups and fun in front of you.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle magazine and AskEJean.com.

Giggle Links

GiggleSugar — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 12:35:00 -0800

How do heavy metal bands come up with their names? - Comic V. Audience
Baby pygmy goats gone wild! - Neatorama
Mr. Rogers, Noooooooo! - College Humor
Balloon animals gettin' it on. - Ad Freak
What if the Smashing Pumpkins singer lost his car keys? - What Are Records
Things Obama would like you to stop doing now that he's president. - Holy Taco
Oh, look. It's little baby Adolph Hitler's moronic mom. - Best Week Ever
Mr. Squirrel notices . . . you have some nachos. - Cute Overload

Will Kids Who Don't Know Nature, Grow Up to Hate the Planet?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:30:33 -0700

After waking up to a bird singing the car-alarm song note for note the other day, this I can believe: a recent survey shows kids have almost completely lost touch with the natural world. Half of the 700 quizzed were unable to identify a selection trees, flowers, and animals, and playing outside ranked as their least favorite way to spend time. Computer time trumped backyard expeditions for most.

Think it's just a sign of the changing times, and if kids need to know what an oak tree looks like, well, that's what is Google is for? According to famed Brit nature program guru Sir David Attenbourough says it's a bad omen for the preservation of the environment.

The wild world is becoming so remote to children that they miss out, and an interest in the natural world doesn't grow as it should. Nobody is going protect the natural world unless they understand it.

The blame for the gap in knowledge can be spread around: overprotective (or disinterested) parents don't introduce kids to the outdoors, and ironically conservationists keep kids away for fear they'll damage the landscape. One "play development officer" (my next job please) says, "something magical occurs when children and wild spaces mix." The only way kids will learn to protect the planet is if they're allowed to learn about it through play - and kids are the future of the globe.

Source

Spending Gone Wild: Proposal to Euthanize the West's Horses

LibertySugar — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:30:59 -0700

America's wild horses may be the latest casualties of federal budget problems. Thirty-three thousand wild horses roam the West, well above the 27,000 target. Expensive holding facilities house another 30,000 rounded-up horses, making them available for adoption. The government says it can no longer afford to control the population with pricey housing. Thus, the US Bureau of Land Management wants to euthanaize part of the population to cut costs.

Horse activists are leading an opposition. One animal rights activist called the plan "killing pure and simple to balance the books for an agency whose reckless management has caused immeasurable harm to a national treasure at considerable cost to the American taxpayer."

Other opponents of the euthanasia proposal want lawmakers to promote horse birth control, and give landowners incentives to keep horses on their property, reports the New York Times.

Since horses compete with ranchers' needs, should the government put emotions aside and choose euthanasia as the effective solution? Or should these national treasures be protected from budget mismanagement?

Source

Putin Tranquilizes Tiger, Not Concerned About Tranquilizing EU

LibertySugar — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 03:00:18 -0700

Pictures of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin have surfaced, showing that even a wild beast can't overcome the defiant Russian leader. Putin saved a television crew and a group of scientists from a rare Ussuri tiger that escaped, while he visited a national park to learn how the scientists monitor the endangered animals.

Yesterday Britain urged the EU to stop talks between itself and Russia about building a closer relationship. Britain's PM Gordon Brown went as far to say that Russia's membership in the G8 should be suspended. Attention to forging a stronger East-West relationship began in 1997, but leaders in Russia want a more expansive cooperation agreement. Putin says he's not too concerned with EU threats, since European self-interest will keep the countries from acting rashly toward Russia.

Apparently the US and Russia can agree on one thing - saving the world's remaining 400 Ussuri tigers, "the biggest cat(s) on the planet," according to Putin. Putin has praised the US for its efforts in saving the cats.

Do you have any hope that the West can save good relations with Russia?

View 4 Photos ›

Source

British Behavior Abroad: Just Like Americans on Spring Break!

LibertySugar — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:45:05 -0700

Forget about ugly Americans, Britons are proving themselves too wild for the rest of Europe. Locals of Greek vacation destinations told the New York Times that young Brits make their presence known by brawling, getting violently sick, crowding clinics for the morning-after pill, screaming and singing in public, taking their clothes off, and falling over in the middle of the street.

Many British travel companies offer packages popular for the cheap alcohol. It sounds like these young Brits treat their Summer holidays like American spring break.

If a bad hangover and a couple of bruises sound bad to you, the actions of these party animals have more serious consequences, too. Between 2006 and 2007, 602 Britons were hospitalized and 28 raped in Greece, while 1,581 died in Spain where another 2,032 were arrested. And the Brits have taken their trouble out of Europe, too. Remember the woman sitting in a Middle Eastern prison for having sex on a public beach in Dubai?

To find out what the British government plans to do about its unruly citizens, read more.

Taking a diplomatic approach, the British consulate in Athens began a marketing campaign to urge travelers to drink responsibly. Local officials want to go after the companies that sell bad behavior vacation packages. What do you think could get Brits to change their ways?

Source

Flashback: Tyra's Vaseline Intensive Scare

GiggleSugar — Fri, 09 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

It didn't happen very long ago, but Tyra's "big" beauty giveaway already warrants a flashback. She gave every member in her audience - wait for it, wait for it - a crystal bedazzled jar of Vaseline. You're jealous, I'm sure. But Tyra went wild, her audience went wild, and I wouldn't be surprised if the producers had to bring in stink bombs and taser guns to halt the nonsensical madness that followed. Watch the real deal here and then check out the animated interpretation below.