TresSugar

Which Comes First? Living Together or Marriage

DearSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 08:00:00 -0700

I am in full support of living with someone before you commit to marriage - there are just certain things you can only learn about a person after living with them - but cohabitation pre-"I do" isn't for everyone. I know many variables play into your opinion on this topic, but tell me which will come first for you.

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Which Comes First? Getting Tested For STIs or Sex With a Condom

DearSugar — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:00:00 -0700

In a perfect world, we'd make our partners get tested for STIs before getting busy in the bedroom, but as we all know, talking about it and making this kind of request with someone you've recently met can be stressful and a little awkward. So I'm curious, are you adamant about your guy getting tested to make sure he's clear of STIs first, or is having protected sex with a condom good enough for you?

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Which Comes First? Exchanging Keys or Having the Talk

DearSugar — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 15:00:00 -0700

When you're dating someone, each "first" is a real milestone. And once you get passed your first date, first kiss, and first time having sex, things start to really take off. So for you, which comes first - exchanging keys to your separate homes, or do you need to have "the talk" first, to discuss where your relationship is going?

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Which Comes First? Holding Hands or First Kiss

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:30:00 -0800

When you first start dating someone, I love the little affections you begin to show. Gazing into each other's eyes, smiling uncontrollably, playing with each other's hair, and hugging good-bye. As you feel more comfortable, the next step is either holding hands or sharing your first kiss. To some people, one is more intimate than the other, so when you first start seeing someone, which comes first?

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Which Comes First? Sleeping in the Same Bed or Sex

DearSugar — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

Sometimes when you meet someone, there is so much passion between you that you can't help but rip each other's clothes off and hop into bed. Then other times, the relationship starts off slow and sweet, and while you may hop into bed together, you end up just cuddling under the covers. So what usually happens first when you start seeing someone?

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Which Comes First: Call Him or Wait Until He Calls You

DearSugar — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

You met an amazing guy at a friend's party the other night. You talked all night, really hit it off, and exchanged phone numbers. So now what . . .

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Which Comes First? Showering or Passing Gas

DearSugar — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Once the awkwardness of the first few weeks of dating subsides, your comfort level increases, which makes it easier to share more intimate moments. The things you do with your new guy require a certain degree of openness and trust, so tell me, which came first in your relationship: showering together or tooting in front of each other?

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Which Comes First? Meeting His Parents or Him Meeting Yours

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:00:00 -0800

When you're in a relationship, I happen to think that meeting the parents is a huge deal. Let's face it - I wouldn't introduce my mom and dad to just any Joe Schmo! I like to meet his parents early in the relationship, too, since an evening with his mom and dad could give some eye-opening insight into the kind of person he is. I know geography has a lot to do with it, but if you had it your way, which would come first: meeting his parents or him meeting yours?

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Which Comes First? Sex or Oral Sex

DearSugar — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

When you first start dating someone, it doesn't take long to have your first kiss. Once that's behind, you'll probably be spending more time making out on the couch than watching whatever movie you rented! The passion can fire up quickly and smooching will inevitably lead to touching, which will lead to what? The answer to that question is different for everyone since comfort levels vary, so when it comes to intimacy in your new relationships, tell me, which comes first?

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Hump Day: What to Do When He's Not Well Endowed

TresSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:00:24 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!
Today's question:
What are some good techniques to use with a partner who has a relatively small penis?

To see Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.

There are a few different things you could try to make intercourse better. The first thing is to have lots of buildup for both of you. The more excited he is, the harder his erection will be. That can maximize the sensations for you since the vagina tends to be most sensitive near the opening. And the closer you are to orgasm before intercourse, the easier it might be to have an orgasm once he’s inside you.

Some positions may work better for you than others. If you try rear entry (aka doggie style) and arch your back, you’ll probably be able to get deeper penetration. Some women report that crossing their legs (after he’s inside) in this position makes things snugger, which creates more intense sensations for both people. If you prefer face to face contact, prop your hips up on a pillow or the amazing Wedge. Bending your legs so your knees are against your chest also maximizes penetration. Since both the vagina and the penis vary in dimensions, you’ll have to experiment a bit to find the ones that feel best to you. Sadie Allison’s book Ride’Em Cowgirl is full of useful tips and fun ideas.

If you’re having trouble getting enough stimulation for your pleasure, you can always make sure that you get your needs taken care of first or keep the fun going after his orgasm. There’s a commonly held belief that simultaneous orgasm is the ultimate sexual experience, and while it can be fun, if that ideal is getting in the way, then ditch it. If he gives you oral sex or uses his hands first and then you switch to intercourse (or vice versa), then you’re both getting pleasured and I think that’s a great thing.

Quite a few partners of men with smaller penises find that oral sex can be a lot easier. After all, if you have a sensitive gag reflex or a narrow jaw, a smaller penis can be much more fun to play with. I definitely encourage you to get creative when it comes to blow jobs. Check out this excellent DVD on oral sex. Similarly, a slender penis can make anal sex more pleasurable, too. While a lot of people aren’t into anal play, if you happen to be, you might find that it feels better when you’re with someone on the slimmer side of things. You can check out this DVD on anal play.

As you can see, there are lots of choices. You may need to talk with each other to figure out what will work best for the two of you. While you might have some worries about talking with your guy about his penis size, I can guarantee that he already knows about it. If you approach the conversation from a desire to make sure that you’re both having fun, it’ll go a lot better. And whatever you do, don’t make fun of him or shame him for his body. Lots of men are hyper-sensitive about penis size and that’s not going to be a constructive thing to do.

Lastly, for the record, most penises are about five-six inches (12.7-15.24 cm) long and about five inches (12.7 cm) around. Lots of people have distorted expectations about penis size, especially if they watch porn. But a lot of people in porn movies (both male and female) are short - it makes penises look larger, just as they used to make cowboy movie sets small to make the actors look bigger. That sort of forced perspective is a trick of the camera, and unfortunately, it can lead to unrealistic expectations.

I hope that helps. Have fun!