TresSugar

How Would You Feel?

TresSugar — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:00:04 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I'm 20 years old and have been dating this guy for four years. Last night, I was using his computer and I saw that he searched for plus size lingerie. My feelings were instantly hurt. I felt so fat! I think that my boyfriend should not make me feel like that! He has never called me fat or anything, but just the fact that he looked at plus size lingerie says that he thinks it! If I ask him if he thinks I'm fat or anything he, of course, denies it. He says that if he thought I was ugly he wouldn't be with me. So, what now? Am I just overreacting? I am so hurt!

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Chick Lit Comes in All Different Sizes

TresSugar — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:00:12 -0800

As far as I knew, literary characters already came in all different shapes and sizes, but apparently there's a "publishing phenomenon" sweeping America like a fad diet: curvy chick lit characters who fully accept their weight.

The UK Guardian explains that average-sized women want to relate to the heroines they read about - and they don't want the stories to be all about dieting. Titles that fit under the "big chit lit" umbrella include The Wife's Tale, a book about a woman who turns her life around (not by losing weight!) after her universe shrunk "to a well-worn path from the bedroom to the refrigerator," and Last-Minute Proposal, the story of cake-baker Tilly and the man who loves her cozy curves.

Do you think books like these will help women love their bodies more? (And if you're looking for books of any genre to add to your reading list, check out our list of November must reads.)

Some Overweight People Are Calling For a Law to Protect Them

TresSugar — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Overt racism is not tolerated in most places, but fatism is flourishing in our society. Many overweight people say that the normal rules of decency and common courtesy don't seem to apply to them, and they're trying to organize a new rights movement.

In a news article yesterday, the BBC recounted the plight of an overweight train passenger who was beaten up by another commuter for taking up two seats. The aggressor yelled "you big fat pig" before she kicked the victim in the stomach. In addition to suffering verbal and physical abuse, overweight people who are speaking out say they are victims of systemic discrimination. For example, many airline companies in the US now charge larger passengers for two seats. Such a policy is considered illegal discrimination in Canada, where there is a one-person-one-fare law. The US has no such rule, nor is there a federal law forbidding employers from firing people because of their weight. (Michigan is alone in prohibiting employers from firing people for being overweight.)

Last year, a study from Yale revealed that weight discrimination is tolerated because many believe that people have control over their size. The truth is more complicated. Economics, health issues like type 2 diabetes, and genetics can affect a person's weight.

The study also revealed that overweight women are twice as vulnerable to discrimination than overweight men. If you want to find out if you have implicit biases against overweight people take this quiz developed by Harvard researchers. You might be surprised by the results.

Would you like to see a federal anti-weight discrimination law?

Today's Fashion World Might Have Passed Up Cindy

TresSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Standards of beauty might change with time, but I think most of us can agree that Cindy Crawford is a gorgeous woman. Even so, the classic late-'80s/early-'90s supermodel thinks that the 2009 fashion industry would have passed her up. Cindy told German magazine Bunte that her "big breasts, normal thighs, and toned upper arms" are not so desired anymore. She said: "I would not have become a supermodel in 2009. I look too healthy."

Cindy's probably onto something, considering even extremely thin models are being photoshopped to look impossibly skinny. Of course, Cindy isn't losing any sleep over any of this. She says now that she is in her 40s, she knows her "strengths beyond being pretty."

While there has been a recent push to use more normal looking women in fashion magazines, I don't think Cindy's goddess-like beauty would qualify her as average. Still, her healthier look could be a welcome change from the sickly figures we often see walking down the runway. Do you think models like Cindy could make a comeback in the near future?

Say What? Alec Baldwin on Skinny Minnies in Hollywood

TresSugar — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0700

"Women today are so skinny. If I did a love scene with them, I would crush them. If I did a love scene with Renee, I would kill her."

- 30 Rock star Alec Baldwin on why he's glad he doesn't get cast as the love interest in movies anymore. Baldwin was hosting Elle magazine's annual Women in Hollywood dinner and awards show and made these remarks after the famously svelte Zellweger was honored.

Guess Who Loves Her Body!

TresSugar — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0700

It's Love Your Body Day! Magazines are always asking celebs how they feel about their bodies - no matter how perfect or imperfect they may seem. Can you guess who said what?

Question 1 of 10

"I've learned to feel very comfortable wearing very little. It's liberating!"

Say What? Size 2 Model Canned by Ralph Lauren

TresSugar — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:00:00 -0700

"I have been working with them since I was 15 years old, since I was a teenager. So for me they were my second family . . . I was very hurt by this, and I don't think it's good . . . when young women look at this picture, they're going to think it's normal to look like that, but it's not."

- Filippa Hamilton on The Today Show, about being fired by Ralph Lauren in April for her "inability to meet obligations with us." Apparently, those obligations involved transforming her 5'8", 120-pound, size 2 body into bobble-headed alien proportions. (They told her agency she was too big for their clothes. Hmmm. What does that make the women who might buy Ralph Lauren clothes?) My response to this nonsense? Bring back the healthy models!

Say What? Karl Lagerfeld on Moms and Models

TresSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0700

"No one wants to see curvy women. You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly."

- Karl Lagerfeld weighs in on the never-ending debate about thin models. The once-overweight designer was responding to German magazine Brigitte's decision to use only "real women" as models. He disapproves. Based on his comments, it seems Karl doesn't think fashion is meant for a mom who might be carrying a little weight.

This isn't the first time a fashion icon has come to the defense of thin models by shifting the attention to overweight people. Anna Wintour said America should focus on obesity, and not anorexia, following a visit to Minnesota where she said people resemble "little houses."

Are you surprised Karl is so quick to discount the opinions of average women?

Ralph Lauren Rep Apologizes For Photoshopping Model

TresSugar — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:10:00 -0700

When controversy erupted over an image for Ralph Lauren's Blue Label - model Filippa Hamilton's body appeared to have been digitally retouched, so that she looked bobble-headed and emaciated - I was convinced that the image wasn't the original ad. I was sure that it had been retouched by one of those "thinspirational" proanorexia blogs you hear about which feature models Photoshopped, so that they look like Holocaust victims.

Wow, was I wrong. A spokesperson for Ralph Lauren made this comment about the controversial image:

"For over 42 years, we have built a brand based on quality and integrity. After further investigation, we have learned that we are responsible for the poor imaging and retouching that resulted in a very distorted image of a woman’s body. We have addressed the problem and going forward will take every precaution to ensure that the caliber of our artwork represents our brand appropriately."

Website Boing Boing was first to criticize the image by saying, "Dude, her head's bigger than her pelvis." When Ralph Lauren asked them to take the image down, claiming copyright infringement, they refused, citing fair use laws that that allow for the reproduction of images "for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting."

Maybe this will be a message to the cabal of Photoshoppers gone wild who don't seem to recognize that they're contributing to the unrealistic body images that make normal women feel inadequate. When an uberthin model isn't thin enough for the fashion industry, something is seriously wrong.

Comments du Jour: TrèsSugar Readers Reach Out

TresSugar — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:47:25 -0700

Yesterday's post asking you if anyone had ever made a comment about your looks you never forgot generated a flood of awful memories, reminding us all how tough it is to be a girl sometimes in a looks-obsessed world. A few readers reached out to give their fellow commenters some reassurance and kind words; here are just three examples and I suggest that everyone takes them to heart!

"These comments are so sad. I wish I could just make us all forget these awful comments and be happy." - janneth

"I just want to give all of the other posters a huge hug!!! I know all of the terrible things that have been said to you are LIES." - lawchick

"These posts make me so sad! Women are amazing and beautiful and sexy and every other good adjective you can think of! My Grandma once made a comment, very loudly and in front of my entire family, 'Stephanie, how many cookies have you had?' I was incredibly embarrassed. Thankfully, I married a man who likes a woman with a little 'junk in the trunk' and I have a pretty good body image. Plus, having two daughters that are so in love with their bodies has really put me in a good place with my body!" - doogirl