Introducing: The Rip-Away 1000. These twin cuties invented a pair of wedgie-proof underwear, but from what I can tell, it leaves bullies with an elastic waistband in their hands (to parade around the schoolyard) and their victims with a fallen pair of underwear gathered at their knees. I'm not quite sure how this makes the situation any better, but good try boys!
And we now interrupt our regularly scheduled program for this very important announcement:
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's .
This is the wave of the future, people. CGI and its ilk can take their fancy-pants effects and shove it. The people are ready for a return to a kindler, gentler, lower-tech superhero like this curly-haired, wedgie-briefed Superman.
Yeast infections, that weird perma-wedgie feeling, and now possible blindness?! Is wearing a thong and eliminating VPLs really worth it? Macrida Patterson doesn't think so anymore.
Steve Urkel may have sported high water dork pants and world-class wedgies, but they didn't stop him from busting a mean move on the dance floor. He didn't fear the opposite sex. (Isn't that right, Laura?) Snort, snort, snort!