TresSugar

Awkward! Wedding Planning With Fiancé Causing Tension

TresSugar — Fri, 01 May 2009 07:00:00 -0700

I know a very modern bride who is beginning to wonder if she really knows the guy she's marrying. It's not that she's having second thoughts - it's just that planning their wedding is highlighting differences of opinion about tradition and convention she didn't know were there.

For example, this bride is hip to the fact that weddings are not unique events. Lots of people get married. At the same time, she wants her wedding to have a personal, nonconformist touch. This is where the conflict with her more traditional fiancé has come in. He values conformity and sees it as a social good. Unlike his fiancée, he actually cares what other people think.

So what are the differences of opinion they have about how they should plan their wedding? To find out read more.

First off, she doesn't want name cards at the table. He thinks they're classy; she thinks they're an unnecessary cost and a waste of paper.

Secondly, both have agreed to cupcakes instead of wedding cake (OK, so traditional guy is a little nonconformist), but he wants vanilla (because "it's supposed to be that way") and she likes chocolate because . . . it's more delicious.

Last but not least - the guest list. The bride wants to give their moms a guest limit so that they don't invite too many people and overrun the wedding with people they don't know. He doesn't want to tell his mom that there's a limit and, in addition, he thinks having a lot of diverse people will make them look good to other people.

Should weddings conform to traditional wedding etiquette at the expense of personal touches, practicality - or the bride's wishes? How should this bride and groom get over their differences and celebrate their union? And finally, have you ever experienced something similar?

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Do Your Wedding-Planning Friends Make You Envious?

TresSugar — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Traditional wedding planning can seem like a full-time job. You have to choose a dress, venue, photographer, band, registry, guest list . . . the to-do list goes on.

For those who wait their whole lives for the big day, planning a wedding is not only a full-time job - it's a dream job! Other people see the time (and money) consuming planning as a necessary evil.

And if you're not getting married soon, you might be watching from the sidelines as your engaged friends figure out all the details.

I'm curious, would you rather be in their shoes planning your wedding, or are you thankful that you don't have to deal with the headaches? Of course, you might be totally neutral.

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Do Tell: What's the Most Interesting Wedding You've Been To?

TresSugar — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0700

It's Wedding Planning Mania time on the Sugar network, and as brides-to-be surely know - it may be one of the most stressful times they may ever experience. From planning the guest list, to deciding the registry, to choosing a location for the big day - it's almost understandable that some women go into Bridezilla mode.

But for some daredevils (or financially strapped and/or free spirits), there's a way of getting married - short of hightailing it to Vegas without telling anyone - that can turn the day into a near-spontaneous and yet memorable and poetic event. Want to hear about one such wedding I attended? Now read more.

Years ago in New York, a boyfriend's coworker invited us to his wedding. He told us it would be simple, short and sweet. Not expecting much, I was nevertheless, floored by how lovely the ceremony was. To this day, after attending many weddings, I cite it as one of the most magical I've attended.

The venue? Sleepy Hollow, a village in Westchester County, New York on the eastern bank of the Hudson River, only thirty miles north of midtown Manhattan. (Take a peek at it in the picture above.) The wedding took place late afternoon, and as soon as we got off the train, I knew this was going to be special.

As we walked toward the woodsy locale (it inspired Washington Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow), strains of a solo violin could be heard. Soon after, the bride and groom (both struggling theater actors) read carefully selected poems to each other while we all tried not to choke up. Sunlight was still visible through dappled leaves.

After the ceremony was over, there were delicious passed hors d'oeuvres, champagne toasts, and, of course, wedding cake. As it began to get dark, we all said our goodbyes as the forest cooled in the night air. Simple and beautiful. I remember it like it was yesterday.

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California's First Gay Marriages Set For June 17

CitizenSugar — Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:49 -0700

I don't know if there's still time to hire a caterer or book a band, but state authorities have just announced that June 17 is the first day same-sex marriages will be officiated in California. The announcement comes two weeks after the state Supreme Court rejected a ban on gay marriage.

How will it work? The authorities say the terms husband and wife will be replaced by "party A" and "party B." No other details distinguish the ceremony from any other marriage officiated by state authorities.

After the 4-3 ruling California becomes only the second US state after Massachusetts to legalize unions between homosexuals. Since Supreme Court rulings typically apply 30 days after publication, state authorities set June 17 as the date for the first weddings, clearing the safety zone since the ruling can be appealed up to June 16.

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Wedding Planning Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of wedding planning week here on Dear, check out my recap below!

Learn proper wedding reception etiquette, like how to arrange your seating chart and the best way to incorporate speeches and toasts.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently at your wedding?
Know of any wedding disaster stories? Share them with other Dear readers!
Need some help tackling that hefty guest list? Make it easy with Dear's handy tips.
When it comes to inviting kids to the big day, where do you stand?
Weddings are expensive even if it is not yours, so who do you think should have to pay for the bridesmaid expenses?
Stay on top of your wedding planning and check out part two of our wedding timeline.
Would you ever write your own vows?
His mom just won't butt out of the wedding planning! How would you handle this?
I've got everything you need to know to plan your rehearsal dinner without the fuss!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Where Do You Stand: Kid-Free Weddings

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week, Broke Bride Brooke was put in an awkward situation when one of her guests asked if she could bring her parents to Brooke's small wedding to care for the guest's 2-year-old child. This created quite a dilemma because the bride really can't afford to have them there, which is why I (semi-jokingly) thought TidalWave's suggestion of making it a kid-free wedding was a pretty good one! Now I've never received an "adult only" wedding invitation, and while part of me thinks it makes sense, another part of me thinks it's pretty tacky. I agree that there's a time and a place for kids to be present, but what about those who can't afford a sitter, or new mothers who are still breastfeeding? I think kids bring a fun element to any occasion, but where do you stand on kid-free weddings?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Would You Write Your Own Vows?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

It’s getting more and more commonplace for people to opt out of the traditional wedding and come up with something completely their own. Some of the more obvious changes are location, colors, and the use of themes but there are also subtle differences that can make a wedding seem more special, such as writing your own vows. I'm more traditional, but I think the idea of writing your own vows is a really nice way to share your love for one another and make your wedding day unique. So ladies, would you consider writing your own vows?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Reception Speech and Toast Etiquette

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While the toasts at a rehearsal dinner are casual, the wedding reception usually has its own set of more formal speeches. Having planned speeches at your wedding is in no way mandatory, but if you don’t account for them, they’re likely to happen anyway, so before the big day, it’s best to sit down for a few minutes to plan them out. To check out my tips on reception speech etiquette, read more

It’s a good idea to check in with your parents, maid of honor, and best man to see who would like to make a toast versus those who’d rather not. Usually at least one parent from either side will give a thank you toast to the guests and some words for the future. However, often parents like to propose a toast together, so talk with them to decide what works for your wedding.
Once you know who’ll be speaking, decide the lineup. Usually the best man will begin the process and the bride and groom will end it, but the order is truly discretionary.
The bride and groom should set aside an appropriate time for speeches - typically they take place just after everyone has been seated for dinner and all of the drinks have been poured, but it’s fairly common to have them after the cake has been cut as well.
It’s important that everyone speaking takes some time before the big day to prepare. This doesn’t need to be typed out and printed, but it’s smart to at least have an idea of what you're going to say.
Perhaps most important is to keep it short! I’d recommend no more than three to five minutes per person. Obviously, if you’re only having a toast or two, they can be longer, but watch out because speeches really can add up. Guests will get antsy if they go on too long, and really, who wants to waste the reception toasting when you could be dancing?
For the family and attendants: Don’t try too hard to make it extra funny, cute, or sentimental. You really don’t need a shtick to make a good toast. While it’s typical to include a small anecdote, make sure your stories don't get too personal. It’s best to keep things general so all the guests can appreciate what you’re saying.
For the bride and groom: Make sure to thank your guests for coming and being part of your important day. And don't forget to take a few seconds to acknowledge the people who put in the most time and effort.

While many people end up winging their speeches and toasts, I don’t recommend it. Just a touch of foresight can still leave room for some spontaneous words without the worry!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Wedding Tourism Coming to English Churches?

LibertySugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:30:20 -0700

The Anglican Church wants to make it easier for couples to get married in their church of choice.

Under the proposed rules, couples can marry anywhere they have lived for six months or where their parents or grandparents married. Currently, only regular church attendees or those who live within the parish can be married in the parish church.

Since the Anglican Church is England's official state church, the changes must be approved by Parliament and given Royal Assent. Church leaders favor the new rules, which they say reflect a modern and mobile society. Others fear "wedding tourism" - they think people committed to religious communities (with pretty churches) will have to compete with the nonfaithful out-of-towners.

Do you think the relaxed rules will bring more weddings, and thus more worshipers? Can couples celebrate the tradition of getting married in a church without faith? Should church weddings be reserved only for church goers?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com

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Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I think we can all agree that the worst part of being in a wedding is the expense. Though traditionally wedding attendants pay for their own attire and travel expenses, that particular rule has never made much sense to me. Obviously in some cases, especially when it’s a large wedding party, expecting the bride and groom to pay seems unrealistic, but I just don’t know how I feel about this one. Proper etiquette aside, who do you think should pay for the bridesmaid expenses?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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