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The How-To Lounge: Choosing Your Wedding Party

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

There’s something really special about having your closest friends and family members stand by your side as you take your wedding vows, but oftentimes the task of picking who can be downright draining. To get some quick tips on making this particular wedding task less stressful, read more.

Sit down with your fiancé and decide how many each of you would like to have in your party - consider the practicals like standing room and whether or not you intend to compensate their wedding outfits. Keep in mind that it’s very common to have a mismatched number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but if you want things to be symmetrical, decide now.
It may sound cheesy, but you truly are supposed to be choosing the people you want nearest to you while you take this next step, so choose people you really care about. Don’t feel obligated to ask someone just because they asked you or because your parents are pressuring you.
When it comes to choosing the lucky few, think about your expectations for your bridal party, and if the people you have in mind are up to the challenge. For example, if one of your closest friends lives across the country, she won’t be able to do as much as one of your friends who lives in the same city. Also, if your best friend is completely unorganized and unfocused, it might be best to ask your sister to help with the maid of honor duties instead.
Since you're asking the people in your life who are nearest to your heart, it’s likely that they’ll be thrilled at the occasion, but don’t make that your assumption. You’re asking them to do this as a favor to you, not them, so don’t be upset if they say no. Keep in mind that people have busy lives - some might not have the time or money to participate. Give your friends the out, so when they say yes you’ll know that they are 100 percent committed.

Remember, if you’re worried about leaving someone out or hurting feelings, there are plenty of other ways they can be involved in your wedding - you can even note them in the program or on your engagement website.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Choosing your Wedding Party

DearSugar — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:30:00 -0700

Choosing your wedding party sure can be a daunting task. While it would be nice to have all your friends and family stand up for you on your special day, a large wedding party is bound to take away from the bride and groom. Check out my tips on how to choose your wedding party.

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It is a special honor to be a part of a wedding party and the bride and groom usually ask their best friends and closest family members to stand up for them on their wedding day
Bridal parties can range anywhere from one attendant on each side to over a dozen, but it is important to consider how many guests will be attending your wedding before choosing your wedding party
Most brides and grooms have a maid of honor and a best man, the most honored role a friend or family member can play in a wedding. Typically there is one maid/matron of honor and one best man, but it is not out of the question to have more than one
Most often, every bridesmaid has a corresponding groomsmen, but that is more for symmetry than anything else. It is not the end of the world if you have uneven numbers standing beside you
Your bridesmaids do not necessarily have to be all women, and vice versa
Many women feel obligated to ask friends to be in their wedding because they were in theirs, or a distant cousin just because they are family, but weddings are no time for restitution. Ask the people closest to you
Before asking your potential wedding party to participate, think about what you will be expecting from them. Wedding planning should be as stress free as possible, so don't choose a friend or family member who will be more trouble than help
If you wish to keep your wedding party small or are stuck deciding between four friends for only two spots in your bridal party, remember there are many other roles your friends and family could play on your special day
Once you have made your decisions, let your attendants know ASAP. You won't want any friends or family members to be assuming they are in your wedding when they are in fact not

I hope these tips will help you when determining your wedding party. This process can be somewhat stressful, so listen to your gut instincts and limit your attendants to the closest people to you and your soon to be hubby.

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Do Tell: How Many Pre-Wedding Parties Are Too Many?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Being a part of someone's wedding is a huge honor, but it's also very time-consuming and expensive. It seems that everyone's free time is getting more and more limited, so when you add wedding requirements to the mix, they can feel like more of a burden than an event to look forward to. Typically brides have one engagement party, one bridal shower, and one bachelorette party, but some have many more. Now I love a good party, don't get me wrong, but I know how monotonous these kind of parties can be. So ladies, do tell, how many pre-wedding parties are too many?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Wedding Parties Week in Review

DearSugar — Sat, 17 May 2008 09:21:30 -0700

Just in case you missed any of the wedding party week coverage here on Dear, you can check out my recap below!

Coed parties are the new trend, but are they a good idea or a bad idea?
Learn all the proper etiquette when it comes to throwing a bachelorette party or bridal shower.
What do you think? How many pre-wedding parties are too many?
Managing family issues during your wedding can be a real struggle, so check out my advice for dealing with a demanding sister-in-law, estranged relatives, and a familial rift.
Would you want to know what goes on at your man's bachelor party?
Make sure to check out the newest installment in Dear's wedding timeline series for your wedding planning needs.
Bachelorette parties can range from totally wild to spa-day relaxing. What kind do you want?
When it comes to party entertainment, are bridal shower games and penis paraphernalia dos or don'ts?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Would You Want to Know?

DearSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 08:00:49 -0700

Bachelor parties are known for their wild and crazy antics. It's a time for boys to be boys and for good friends to let loose and revert to their partying ways. But when you add in the code of secrecy that so many bachelor parties abide by, it can leave the women curious and worried about what really happened.

I'm all for guys having alone time with their friends, and while I'd like to think I wouldn't be a controlling girlfriend who needs to know all the details, I just don't know if I could resist asking! Since I'm torn on the subject, tell me, would you want to know the specifics of your fiance's bachelor party, or are some things better left unsaid?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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What Kind of a Bachelorette Party Do You Want?

DearSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:00:00 -0700

I've been to a handful of bachelorette parties, some relaxing and some wild and crazy, but my favorite one had a little bit of both. Picking the location of your bachelorette party takes a lot of consideration, especially when factoring in a bunch of different women's preferences. If I were to plan my own, it'd be someplace warm so we could be poolside by day, but also someplace fun so we could be painting the town red by night. While I think that's a pretty common criteria for a bachelorette party, some women vote for a weekend getaway in the snow or opt to rent a house somewhere discrete and have a very mellow retreat. So tell me ladies, even if you aren't currently engaged or married, what kind of bachelorette party do you want? Do you want to relax or go all out?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Bachelor Party Has No "Happy Ending"

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 03:00:00 -0700

We posted this a couple months ago, but felt that it was too funny not to bring back for the wedding party week. The tradition of hiring strippers - aka "exotic dancers" - for a bachelor party goes way back, but what does the "exotic" in exotic dancing really mean? These guys find out that it can mean a feminist interpretive dance about childbirth and child loss, complete with a dramatic reading of the lines: "Babies, babies, babies! Mama's milk makes baby better. . ." Now that's how you celebrate your last night as a bachelor! Whoo hoo!

You Asked: I Can't Stand My Future Sister-in-Law

DearSugar — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I are getting married later this Summer, but my negative relationship with his sister is putting a damper on things. We've always been friendly toward one another, but we've never really connected as friends in any way. Since the wedding planning has begun, she's been helping out with some of the details, so I've started to spend more time with her. As it turns out, we have a lot of conflicting opinions on things, and even though it's my wedding, we've managed to butt heads over a few choices I've made. She has a certain set of views and beliefs and if she feels like you're not following them, she lets you know in a very upfront manner.

Needless to say at this point I'm really annoyed. I have my bachelorette party coming up in a month that I want to keep very small, with only my closest friends - I really don't want to invite her. I feel like she'll put a complete damper on my mood. I talked to my fiancé about it, but he thinks his sister will be offended if she's not on the invite list, so I just don't know what to do. Can I get away with not inviting her to the bachelorette party?

- Sick of My Sister-in-Law Selena

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Sick of My Sister-in-Law Selena,

It is your wedding and your bachelorette party, and your sister-in-law shouldn't be trying to insert her opinions as demands, but unfortunately this is how family tends to be when it comes to weddings. It's likely that if you guys get through this without any head-to-head arguments, things will go back to the way they were when the wedding is over.

On that note, I think you really need to think things through before you leave her out. The bachelorette party is an opportunity for you to have some serious fun with your girlfriends, and there is no rule that says that you must invite anyone you don't want to. However, it's very clear that your sister-in-law's feelings will be hurt if you don't ask her, which can end up creating some post-wedding conflicts that could be easily avoidable.

I'd suggest asking a couple of your friends to make sure that she's entertained and out of your hair the entire night. Or consider having two bachelorette parties; a larger one in which you include your soon-to-be sister-in-law and a more intimate one with just your two or three closest friends. Keep in mind that a fun night with the girls may be just what she needs to loosen up and could lead to some sisterly bonding between the two of you. Either way, remember that a wedding only lasts a day, but the relationships with your in-laws can last for decades, so try to keep things amicable if possible.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Top 10 Tackiest Bachelorette Party Favors

TresSugar — Fri, 08 May 2009 12:00:00 -0700

I've never understood how having a raunchy bachelorette party helps usher you into a loving, stable marriage, but it's here to stay as a tradition. I've gathered up some of the tackiest party favors and products I could find. Oh, the romance of weddings!

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Have You Ever Skipped Out on a Bachelorette Party?

TresSugar — Wed, 06 May 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Bachelorette parties come in all shapes and sizes (as do male strippers). Some brides want relaxing girls' getaways, while others go for wild and crazy Vegas-style parties.

A wedding calls for a celebration, and the bachelorette party is an opportune time to spend some quality time with your good friends, but celebrating a friend's impending end to singledom could be time-consuming and expensive if it involves going somewhere. There's the cost of the flight out, hotel, dinners, drinks, cabs. . .

So I'm curious, have you ever skipped a bachelorette party you were invited to because it didn't work with your budget or schedule, or do you always make them a priority?

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