Uncontacted Amazonian Tribe: The True Douchebaggery Story

GiggleSugar — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Last Friday, CitizenSugar briefed us on the uncontacted human tribe discovered deep inside the Amazon. These people reportedly paint themselves red, live in huts, and arm themselves with bows and arrows. Digitally-enhanced photos have since been released and have added a peculiar twist to the story. Are we sure those arrows aren't used for lady hunting and those huts for tanning parlors? The red-faced tribesman above looks awfully douche to me . . .

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Uncontacted Human Tribe Sighted in Amazon

LibertySugar — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:30:31 -0700

Anthropologists have discovered an "uncontacted tribe" living in Brazil deep within the Amazon. Aerial photos show red-painted people, living in huts, and ready to defend themselves with bows and arrows. If you think you're out of touch with world events, think again.

This situation blows my mind. To think that there is an independent human society living on this planet, with no knowledge of the dramas, histories, religions, languages, cities, wars, and everything else that makes up the rest of us, is almost unfathomable.

Despite the wealth of information this tribe could provide the outside world, experts warn against contact. Modern outsiders, including loggers, miners, and cattle ranchers, will kill these people for their land - a typical historical narrative. If not killed by violence, members of previously contacted tribes have died from common diseases.

Does this story amaze you as much as it amazes me? Will we be able to quell our fascination enough to leave these people alone and save their lives? How do we know we're not an uncontacted society?

TresSugar

Uncontacted Amazonian Tribe: The True Douchebaggery Story

Uncontacted Human Tribe Sighted in Amazon