TresSugar

You Asked: I Need Help With Tipping Etiquette

DearSugar — Fri, 09 May 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

Outside of restaurants, I just never know when to tip, and I'm always left feeling awkward and embarrassed. The other day I had a facial done at a privately operated salon. When I went to pay, I didn't tip the owner, assuming that since I had tipped the employee who gave me the facial, that would be fine. I immediately sensed a strange vibe from the woman and assumed I must have made a mistake. But when it comes to employee-performed services like haircuts, taxi drivers, bellhops, and delivery services, I just never know how much I should be giving. Can you please help me out? I'm tired of feeling foolish and cheap!

- Tip Time Tamara

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Tip Time Tamara,

Tipping is tricky business! On the one hand, it's supposed to be about the quality of the service, but on the other, there's a certain amount that most people expect no matter what. In regards to tipping the owner versus the employee, your assumption is correct. There is no reason to tip the owner in addition to the employee performing the service, as the owner already receives the full payment for the facial.

As far as the other services you mentioned, Tipping.org's United States Tipping Guide offers some very helpful percentages and ranges:

Hairstylist: 15 to 20 percent plus an extra few dollars to whomever washes your hair.
Bellhop: 10 dollars for just dropping your luggage in your room.
Food Delivery: For pizza, anywhere between one and five dollars depending on the distance and size of the order. For other cuisines, no tip is necessary unless the order is under 30 dollars. Of course, if you feel the speed of delivery or quality of service was exceptional, it's always nice to offer a few dollars.
Taxi Driver: 15 percent of the fare, but an extra dollar for each bag the driver assists you with is always a nice gesture.

When in doubt, follow your instincts! If the service was great, praise accordingly. If it wasn't so good, compensate as you see fit.

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The How-To Lounge: Tipping During the Holidays

DearSugar — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:00:00 -0800

Tipping the people who service you throughout the year during the holidays is the perfect way to say thanks. While it's completely discretionary, it is customary. But how much do you give and to whom? For some helpful tips, click here to read more

Tip according to how long you've known the person, how close your relationship is, and how often you use their services.
If you are not in a financial position to give extra money during the holidays, a nice hand-written thank-you note is also a very nice gesture.
According to Emily Post, people typically give the following amount of money to the following people:
- Housekeeper: Up to one weeks pay or a gift
- Babysitter: Up to one weeks pay or a gift from the entire family
- Hair Stylist: The cost of one visit or a gift
- Manicurist: The cost of one visit
- Personal Trainer: The cost of one session
- Dog Walker: One weeks pay or a gift
- Mail Carrier: U.S. government regulations permit carriers to accept gifts worth over $20, but they cannot accept cash, so writing them a check is your best bet
- Trash Collectors: $10–$30
I hope these tips are helpful to you this holiday season and remember, the best way to give your tip is to accompany it with a thank-you note. To see Emily Post's entire list of who to tip during the holidays, click here.

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How to Get a Hotel Upgrade

DearSugar — Thu, 10 May 2007 09:45:00 -0700

Have you ever stayed at a hotel and wished you had a better room after peering through the door of another room or after seeing the price of your stay while checking out? Well, if you have ever been disappointed with your accommodations, and want to learn how to request an upgrade the next time you visit a hotel, here are some helpful tips for you.

Click here to read more

Being polite and friendly is key to making relationships with hotel management and people behind the desk
Try to make reservations over the phone versus on line. Spark up a personal conversation, perhaps let he or she know why you are visiting, something you love about the city you are visiting, ask about the weather, etc., anything to engage the person on the other end of the phone. Friendly conversation might make him or her more inclined to put you in a nice room
If you are returning to a hotel you have stayed at before and remember the room you liked, request it. Not only will you be guaranteed a satisfactory room, but the receptionist will consider you a regular which could grant you some extra perks
All hotels have a high season, typically summer, holidays, and weekends, which are always busier and more expensive, so if you have a flexible schedule, book your travel off season or mid week. Less competition will give you more of a chance to get upgraded
Since "upgrades" mean something different to every traveler, know what you want before checking in. In some hotels, a view is more important than the size of the room, or the floor you are on means more than having a bigger bathroom
When you check in, ask if they are offering any promotions or special rates that you might not be aware of. If you are traveling with kids, have them wait in the lobby while you check in, the less chaos the better
If you are a frequent business traveler with a corporate rate, be sure to make them aware before requesting an additional discount or upgrade. Once they pull up your records and see the frequency in which you travel, the more likely they will accommodate you accordingly.
Ask for what you want at check in -- not after you have already been taken up to your room, and if you are granted the upgrade you requested, be patient. Sometimes it takes an hour or so before your room is ready so be as easy going as possible. Get a drink at the bar, sit by the pool, or stroll the hotel grounds
Whenever you have a pleasant experience at a hotel, always thank the general manager. Since they are so accustomed to hearing complaints, positive feedback is bound to get you remembered
Remember to tip when applicable: bar, valet, bellmen, etc.

Staying in a hotel is a great way to feel like you are on vacation, but that doesn't necessarily mean you need to be on one. Research your favorite local hotel, oftentimes they offer special rates for local residents on Sundays or during their slow season. Always remember to be polite as people behind the desk will be less likely to help people who are demanding and pushy. Safe travels!

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The How-To Lounge: On Tipping

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:30:00 -0700

Tipping is a very personal decision, and as I get older, I can see that different generations have very different views on tipping etiquette. The younger generation seems to be more generous with their gratitude, in my opinion, due to the fact that they currently are or at one time worked in the service industry themselves leading them to be more inclined to understand and appreciate the work at hand.

For some up to date tipping pointers, read more

Since there is such a long laundry list of people to tip, always use your personal discretion. Some people are more tip happy than others, but not all circumstances require a tip.
If you regularly see the same hairdresser, or frequent a specific eatery, tip consistently.
If you have poor service at a restaurant, remember it might not only be the server's fault. Problems in the kitchen have a lot to do with slow service so talk to the manager before taking out your aggression on your waiter or waitress.
Tipping pre or post tax is a common argument. To each their own, but most people tend to tip on the entire bill -- again, use your discretion.
When you are paying for something with a gift certificate, at a spa or restaurant for example, tip is typically not included, so remember to tip on the total price irrespective of the gift certificate.
Small tips for grocery baggers, make up artists, car detailers, shoe shiners, valets, food delivery people, coat checks, restroom attendants, etc are very much appreciated, but not mandatory. If you do opt to tip such services, a few dollars ($1-$5) is more than adequate.
Here is a general list of tipping percent for everyday services:

Hair stylist: 15-20%
Server: 15-20%
Manicure/pedicure:15%
Spa service: 15-20%
Brazilian Wax: 20-25%
Movers: $10-$50 per mover depending upon degree of difficulty
Bartenders: $1-$2 per drink
If you dine with someone who disagrees on your tipping views, you can add more tip to your portion of the bill. You never have to tip the same amount, but should always tip on your specific charge, not the total bill especially if you pay with a credit card.

I hope these guidelines on tipping are helpful. An extra few dollars goes a long way when you are trying to be remembered at your favorite hot spot or if you want to make a good impression.

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General Election Prep Tips for Political Junkies: Part II

LibertySugar — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 10:00:07 -0700

Yesterday I suggested that undecided voters and staunch supporters alike add Barack Obama's and John McCain's books to their summer reading lists, while mixing up their campaign information sources. Here are some other tips for surviving the marathon general election campaign.

Tip #3: Articulate questions you would want to ask the candidates. And then try to listen for or search out the answers in the swell of media coverage. This way you write your own campaign narrative, without being a hostage of the sensationalized media. Sources that will help you include: Fact Check and On the Issues.
Tip #4: Define why you like your candidate in positive terms. If you're passionate, and want to convince your undecided peers to support your guy, they'll be more receptive if you share why you're excited about one candidate, instead of attacking the other guy. Figure out a couple of concrete accomplishments that make you want to vote for McCain or Obama.

Do you have any tips to share?

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General Election Prep Tips For Political Junkies: Part I

LibertySugar — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:00:07 -0700

The Fourth of July Summer break is the perfect time to gear up for the Fall's sure-to-be-whirlwind presidential campaign. I have a couple of tips for you on how to transition from the hectic primary season to the general campaign marathon. They should help the entrenched supporter as well as the undecided voter.

Tip #1: Pick up the candidates' books. Let Barack Obama and John McCain tell you their stories. McCain's well-received Faith of My Fathers ends with his release from POW camp. You might also consider McCain's Hard Call: The Art of Great Decisions. Obama, also down with the father-title theme, has put out Dreams of My Father (a memoir about race and community) and The Audacity of Hope (a book about his vision for America). The books were written before McCain and Obama could predict the twists and turns of this campaign season, so they offer a relatively unfiltered account of their lives and world views.
Tip #2: Mix up your news source. It's always good to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. So conservatives pick up a NY Times and you libs flip to Fox News. If you read the New York Times surf on over to the Wall Street Journal. Trade in Anderson Cooper for Keith Olbermann one night. Not only could you see what your political opponents have to say, you may also learn something new. Of course, come back to CitizenSugar and share your new perspective with all of us!

I'll have more tips for you all tomorrow, so check back!

Share Your Most Awkward Thanksgiving Moments!

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:00:46 -0800

Back in the day, one of my favorite things about Thanksgiving was the annual Friends Thanksgiving episode. Specifically, Chandler's complicated relationship with the holiday always cracked me up. You may remember that when Chandler was nine, his dad used Thanksgiving as a chance to announce that he was gay. And years after that, Monica accidentally cut off the tip of Chandler's toe on Turkey Day. In Mr. Bing's honor, I thought it would be fun if we all shared our most awkward Thanksgiving moments in the Awkward! group in the TrèsSugar Community. Share your story, and I will feature the most festively awkward posts on Très! (If you're not clear on how to post to community, check out this helpful post.)

Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.

Tip No. 1: Surviving Valentine's Day When You're Single

DearSugar — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:30:00 -0800

Intimacy expert Patty Brisben brought us some great tips on how to avoid a sex slump during the holiday season, in addition to helping us figure out how to get the romance back afterward, and I'm thrilled to say that she's back! Since another holiday is approaching - this one dedicated to lovers - I thought it'd be helpful to have Patty teach us a few things about how to weather this international day of love no matter what your relationship status is. She'll be offering 14 tips from now until Valentine's Day, so enjoy!

To see Patty's first tip for the single gals, read more.

People often mistakenly believe that intimacy can only take place with a partner, but I'm here to tell you that this just isn’t true! There are all sorts of bedroom accessories that will give you a little pick-me-up on Valentine’s Day, or any time of the year for that matter. Sexuality starts with you, and that means discovering what makes you feel good and giving yourself pleasure regardless of whether you're single or attached.

Be sure to check back with us next week to see Patty's second tip!

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Tip No. 1: Surviving Valentine's Day When You're Coupled Up

DearSugar — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 10:00:00 -0800

I hope you enjoyed Patty Brisben's tips on how to have a fantastic Valentine's Day when you're fabulous and single! But if you're happily coupled up, she has some tips for you too!

To see her first suggestion on how to spend this day of love with your special someone, just read more.

Instead of following the crowd and making reservations at the new hot spot, why not pick out a new recipe you and your partner have never tried and cook it together on Valentine's Day? Cooking can be sexy and fun, and if you've ever seen the film 9 1/2 Weeks, you know there are some very creative ways to come up with dessert!

To see all of Patty's tips, click here.

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