TresSugar

Flashback: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 03:00:00 -0800

The superhero group The Superficial Friends is made up of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and the Olsen Twins. In this episode, they find themselves lured into the lair of diabolical fanboy Harry Knowles (the awful writer from Ain't It Cool News). First, he threatens to write a bad review of Lindsay's latest film, and then reveals he just wants to turn them into love slaves. How do they get out of it? Nicole choke holds one bad guy with her thighs, Lindsay's breasts beat up another guy, and one of the Olsens turns into Bob Saget. Genius, just genius.

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 02:00:00 -0700

Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and the Olsen twins are back to fight off the culprit who's spreading crabs all over Hollywood. And just who is Captain Crabs? He's none other than Wilmer Valderrama from That '70s Show. Dude is on a mission to spread the crabbers like crazy so everyone who's anyone can only sleep with him. He's already infected Lohan - that one time, at a truck stop - but can The Superficial Friends crack his shell and save their fellow skanks from venereal damnation?

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 03:00:00 -0700

After crashing their private jet, The Superficial Friends find themselves stranded in Malawi where they notice that the locals have really fabulous dark tans. Luckily, they discover a nearby tanning parlor to bronze themselves brown, but that's when Brangelina spots them and promptly adopts them. Can they escape the Jolie-Pitt family dungeon or will they have to endure baby Shiloh's taunting forever? Watch and see.

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 03:00:00 -0700

This week, The Superficial Friends are miffed that the cast of Entourage has stolen the spotlight from them. How can the world stay abreast of their weight fluctuations and party girl antics if the paparazzi only follows those pretty boy hipsters around all day? The girls are prepared to put their powers into play, but will they succeed in their attention seeking?

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 02:00:00 -0700

In this week's episode of The Superficial Friends, we learn that Paris derives all her super powers from being in the top ten of Maxim's "Hot 100." But Paris didn't make the top ten this year, Jessica "Not That Hot" Alba did. Gasp! Can the gang help Paris reclaim her smokin' hot status or will she remain an ugly "nobody" forever? Watch and see.

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 01:00:00 -0700

In this episode of The Superficial Friends, the girls are captured and shrunk by Tom Cruise and his "hobbit patrol" of Toby Maguire, Mark Wahlberg, and Colin Ferrell. (That's more of a "hottie patrol" if you ask me.) So who will save them? Will it be Space Monkey Seacrest? Their publicists? Or, will Robo-Holmes assert her independence and free them all of Cruise's control? Watch and see.

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 02:00:00 -0700

The Superficial Friends are called to action when their pal Paris is sent to do time in Governor Schwarzenegger's cube of lube jail. Will their super snorting powers do the trick, or will Paris have to put her strong kegel muscles to work and save herself from the grip of The Governator's boob-grabbing robotic arms? This is one cartoon you don't want to miss!

It's A Bird, It's a Plane...It's The Superficial Friends!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 12:45:00 -0700

The superhero group The Superficial Friends comprising Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and the Olsen Twins, find themselves in this episode lured into the lair of diabolical fanboy Harry Knowles, who first threatens to write a bad review of LiLo's latest film, and then reveals he just wants to turn them into love slaves. How do they get out of it? Nicole choke holds one bad guy with her thighs, LiLo's breasts beat up another guy, and one of the Olsens turns into Bob Saget. Where has this crazy cartoon been my whole life?

Saturday Morning Cartoon: The Superficial Friends

GiggleSugar — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0700

It's the Adventures of the Superficial Friends, starring animated versions of Paris, Nicole, Lindsay and the Olsens, "the most self-important celebrities" who are dedicated "to selfishness and social ignorance." Here, they attend an Endangered Species Fashion Show and have to duke it out with People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals spokesperson Pamela Anderson. Surreal fun for everyone!

Ask a Librarian: Tomboy Has Never Been on a Date

TresSugar — Mon, 25 May 2009 09:59:08 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a librarian will offer some common sense advice. You can submit questions here.
Today's Question:
After turning 23 a few weeks ago, I started to wonder what was holding me back from finding Mr. Right. It's not that I haven't been on a date for a few weeks, or that I just keep dating a string of loser guys, it's that I have never been on a date. I didn't even have dates to high school dances. I've never even been told I was pretty/cute by a guy so that may have something to do with it. At a time in life where the majority of my friends are in relationships and are getting engaged/married, I'm all alone.

I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I am too shy to find a guy to like me, or if once I get over my shyness that my tomboyish nature forces me into the "friend zone" all of the time. (I was an only child raised by her father who treated me like a son.)

I've been told that I'm funny and smart, but I think my love of sporting events and rock concerts, knowledge of cars, and love of all things nerdy scares guys away. Do you have any advice for me so I can stop being seen as the sisterly type, and start being seen as dateable? I'd really like to find a nice guy soon. Thanks a lot for your help.

- Undateable Tomboy

To read a librarian's advice, read more.

Dear Undateable Tomboy,

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “tomboy” as “a girl who behaves like a spirited or boisterous boy.” You are 23, and it’s time to start acting like a woman, not a girl. Don’t worry right now about meeting Mr. Right; you just want to meet some misters. People have told you that you are smart and funny, but guys can’t get to know the real you because they don’t see you as date material.

Let’s talk about your outward appearance, which is what attracts a man in the first place. The first thing you should do is find a good stylist and get a great haircut. Sounds superficial? Sorry, just do it. A haircut that suits you can do more than anything to improve your appearance. Next go to the makeup counter in a department store, do a mini-makeover, and buy some products. I’m talking at least a modicum of eye makeup and some lip gloss. Accent your best facial features.

Look at your wardrobe. Anything that appears oversized, place it in the back of your closet for one month. Go to the store and buy some items that are slightly trendy, and get shoes to go with the clothes. If you don’t have a clue, ask the sales people to help you; it’s fun for them. By the way, I am a feminist who does not buy into the “beauty myth,” but consider this an experiment. (Do you want a date or not?) There is strength in looking your best, and it will give you the confidence boost that you need more than anything else. And smile, a friendly welcoming smile. That is the most attractive thing you can put on your face.

Be up front and tell your friends you are ready to meet some men. Be persistent, remind them - and, that goes for your male friends. Ask them if they know anybody to fix you up with. It might even put the idea into the head of one of your old buddies to ask you out. What about you suggesting a casual movie date to a new acquaintance, someone you meet at a party or work?

You like sports. Join a coed softball, volleyball, or kickball team. There is a lot of camaraderie on these teams, more men than women, and they tend to socialize after the games or on the weekends. Please do not wear baggy sweats.

And no more excuses about how an interest in cars and sports scares away guys. In reality, many men would love to share their interests with their girlfriends. That would definitely be a value added that you would bring to the relationship.

You sound like a very lovely young woman who does not deserve to be lonely. You will find someone who will be thrilled to have you in his life and in his arms. The challenge is to have men notice you, so that they can get to know the real you. As a librarian, I can attest that people do judge a book by its cover. I remind you that you are very young, and have plenty of time. So while you are waiting for your dating life to kick in, go to the library, check out a copy of Emma or Something Blue, make a cup of tea, and curl up on the couch.

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