TresSugar

Love It or Leave It: The Overnighter Set

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 15:00:00 -0800

If you're single and dating, being prepared for the unexpected is key, which is why the Hanky Panky Justine Case Overnighter Set ($38) could come in quite handy. It comes complete with lacy black thong and a Benefit cosmetics kit that includes foundation, lip shine, eye cream, and cheek stain - you know, so you can look your best at all times!

Is this something you'd carry with you for those impromptu one night stands, or is this a total waste of money and space in your purse?

Ask a Trader: Is He Into Me?

TresSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a trader helps out a frustrated woman. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's question:

I have been seeing this man for a little over a month. He is significantly older than me (13 years) and pretty busy. We talked last weekend and both said we wanted to take things slow due to failed past relationships (jumping into them too quickly; he was engaged).

That's perfectly fine with me, but the problem is that we never talk. We Facebook message each other, but it's extremely brief two word phrases. When the weekend hits, we might see each other one day. When we do see each other, he acts like he really enjoys my company until I say something nice (he runs a gallery, so I told him if he ever needs help getting a show set up, to let me know) in which case he kind of buries his head. He also won't respond if I send him a compliment via one of our Facebook messages.

He does let me keep some toiletries at his house if I ever spend the night, which is rare - we don't have sex either. I really like this guy and want to get to know him, but it seems impossible and I feel like I'm just getting strung along. Should I talk to him and tell him what I expect with "taking it slow" or something? Or does it seem he really isn't into me at all? Would he really string me along if he knows I don't want to get hurt anymore?

Signed,
Taking it Too Slow

To see the trader's answer, read more.

Dear Taking it Too Slow,

It sounds like, for whatever reason, this guy is not romantically attracted to you. You are right to worry that he lets you stay overnight and keep toiletries at his house, without ever making a move. You say you really like him, but I must recommend that you not waste too much more time on him without knowing he feels the same way because it sounds like you keep putting forth effort, without getting anything back from him. Tell him how you feel, and if he shares those feelings then you can explore the possibility of a real relationship together. If he says he's just not ready, this is your cue to move on and trade up. And no need to second-guess breaking off your sexless sleepovers: if he really does have feelings for you, he'll come back when he's ready, and if you want to, you can give him another shot.

Signed,
A Trader

You Asked: Why Can't I Get a Date?

DearSugar — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I haven't had a relationship in over seven years and I am wondering what is wrong with me. It seems that everyone around me is either engaged or setting a date to be married, and I don't even have a boyfriend! I have dated a few guys, but I'm always the one left wondering what went wrong. I can't help but think that it must be me. I live alone, I have a profession, I own my own car, and live in a nice apartment that's beautifully finished. People keep telling me that marriage will happen for me, but I'm not convinced. And, if it does, I'll probably be too darn old to even enjoy it! And, lastly, it makes me feel even more inadequate when my mother tells me how pretty I am, but doesn't understand why I can't find anyone. Do you have any advice? I am already seeing a therapist because I think that I'm going crazy! - At My Wits' End Amy

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear At My Wits' End Amy,

There's nothing worse than feeling like you're the odd woman out - I've been there - but dwelling on the fact that you haven't met anyone will only make things worse. Finding someone special isn't easy and it won't happen overnight. You have to endure a lot of trial and error and perhaps a few broken hearts, but most of all, you have to be patient. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, so use that to your advantage - get yourself out there and meet people! As E. Jean put it, it's a mathematical certainty that you'll meet someone if you place yourself where there are high numbers of men. Football season is about to start, so get your girls together and hit up your local pub on game day. Keep your eyes open while you're at the gym, take walks in the park after work, and Amy, don't forget to ask your friends, your friends of friends, or even your co-workers to set you up - it works sometimes, you know!

While I'm sure your mom means well, be firm and to the point when you tell her that you'd appreciate it if she'd stop with the questions and pressure. The way you feel inside is bound to show on your exterior, so as hard as it may be, you must think positively. I wish I had an answer for you as to why you haven't met "the one" yet; unfortunately, and as cliche as it may sound, it'll only happen when the timing is right. Good luck.

Source

Front Page: McCain Set to Announce Palin as VP, Iraq Signs $3 Billion Oil Deal, Mexico's Court Upholds Abortion

CitizenSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:05:56 -0700

McCain Set to Pick Palin as VP: According to sources close to the campaign, John McCain has picked Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his running mate. A formal announcement is expected shortly at a campaign rally in Ohio. A 44-year-old mom, Palin flew overnight to an airport in Ohio near Dayton, thought to be awaiting her formal introduction.

Mexico's Court Upholds Abortion:
Mexico's Supreme Court has voted to uphold legal abortion in Mexico City, keeping the city one of only a few places in Latin America that allow abortion without limitations in the first trimester. The Roman Catholic church blasted the 8-3 decision announcing that they will redouble their fight against it.

Iraq Signs $3 Billion Oil Deal:
Iraq has signed a $3 billion oil deal with China, its first oil deal with a foreign country since 2003. The contract is pending approval by the Iraqi cabinet, but if passed work could begin on the oil field in a few months. The 22-year contract is a new version of a 1997 contract with China began under Saddam Hussein.

Source

Naples Takes Out the Trash - By Setting It on Fire

CitizenSugar — Mon, 19 May 2008 07:40:14 -0700

Italy's garbage problem reached its flashpoint overnight as trashed-out residents set fire to piles of the the 3,500 tons of uncollected refuse.

Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's newly reelected prime minister, may force local councils to accept new rubbish dumps, despite protests. He says, "I am no longer prepared to wait until everyone is in agreement, while the piles of rubbish become mountains of trash."

One city official said local authorities were managing to remove more than 1,000 tons of trash a day while waiting for the decision on where to put it all. He begged residents to be patient and not become vigilante trash removers by setting the rubbish on fire.

Thanks to the additional collections, we should be able to overcome this emergency in four or five days, but people must collaborate. They have to stop throwing bags of rubbish out on to the streets, and, above all, they mustn't burn them.

Would piles of trash for months on your streets inspire you to a firey protest? Is setting the stinky mess on fire just adding to the woes? Is the problem of where to put the trash a troubling sign for global garbage? Are we out of space?

View 5 Photos ›

Source

Free Healthcare Comes to Appalachia on Wheels

LibertySugar — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:00:00 -0700

Each year the Remote Area Medical clinic provides free healthcare services to residents of Appalachia's coal mining counties, but people from as far as Indiana travel there for care. This region of the Eastern US is one of the nation's most impoverished, and this clinic-on-wheels wants to help the under- and uninsured.

Some of the 2,500 patients spend the night in their cars, hoping to see one of the 1,400 volunteer medical personnel. The free two-and-a-half day clinic is the largest of its kind in the US, and mostly provides vision and dental services.

The Remote Area Medical clinic sets up in Wise, VA. About 20 percent of Wise County's population are families living below the poverty level, making less than $21,200 per year. What more can be be done to provide regular care for the nation's disadvantaged so they don't have to wait overnight and sleep in their cars?

View 10 Photos ›

Source

The 4-Way: Don’t Look Now

DearSugar — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Dear 4-Way,

I’m online dating, and I’ve met the standard amount of freaks, guys looking to cheat on their wives, and jerks who just want to get laid. I’ve met some nice guys, too. But I’ve noticed that after a few dates with someone nice who shows some promise, he gets back online - even though we’re still going out and things seem to be going well. (I only know he’s online because I go on to look at his pics again and read his profile - dorky to admit, but true.) I’m not looking for commitment after the third or fourth date; I guess I just hoped that after a few quality dates, guys might be interested in focusing on one person and less likely to still troll for women. It really kills the momentum in my opinion. I feel deflated when I go on to look at my crush and see, “Online now!” Any thoughts?-SB, Los Angeles, CA

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear SB,

The thing about online dating is that everyone signed up to whatever service you're using is probably doing the exact same thing - snooping around and checking out what's out there and who's online. Since you can really become anyone you want on the Internet, it's no wonder that you've come across an array of characters, but like you said, there are some nice guys out there too. You just might have to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince.

Now when it comes to dating, online or off, asking for a serious commitment after just three or four dates might be a little too presumptuous. It's not fair to you or the guys you're dating to put a timeline on getting to know each other - sometimes it only takes a mere look and other times it takes months of feeling each other out to know if you'll make a compatible match. So with that said, just because your crushes are back online after your dates (just like you are by the way!) doesn't necessarily mean they are setting up cushion dates with other women - perhaps they are just poking around for the fun of it or seeing if you're online as well.

As E. Jean said just yesterday, if you like someone and want to date him exclusively, muster up the courage to just flat out tell him! Realize that you might not get the response you want to hear, but hey, at least you'll know if he is interested in you. Meeting Mr. Right won't happen overnight, but if you're patient and listen to your needs, I'm sure you'll find someone very special sooner rather than later. Good luck.

To see everyone else's opinion, click here, and as I'm sure you can tell, I'm with you Chris Kennedy!

Front Page: Bush Speaks, Children Hostages in Cameroon, Kenya Peace

CitizenSugar — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:10:30 -0800

President Bush is currently giving a news conference. Topics are expected to include the economy and the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. More details to follow.
It's estimated that 2,000 boarding school children are being used as human shields by demonstrators in Cameroon. Overnight, thousands of protesters entered the schools to escape police chasing them after demonstrations turned violent. This comes after days of protests across the country, set off by a taxi-driver strike over a fuel price rise. John Fru Ndi of the opposition Social Democratic Front said, "the people have no other alternative than to express themselves by marching on the streets to draw government's attention to issues affecting their everyday lives."
Better news from another part of Africa: Leaders in Kenya have signed a peace deal to end the post-election violence. Kofi Annan has been in Kenya mediating the talks, which have successfully resulted in President Mwai Kibaki and opposition leader Raila Odinga agreeing to form a coalition government. Annan announced, "We have come to an understanding on the coalition government," but offered no further details.

The How-To Lounge: Preventing Smelly Shoes

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 10:00:00 -0700

If you wear your shoes without socks, chances are your shoes smell from time to time -- especially in the summer time. In order to keep your shoes wearable, here are some tips to keep them as odor free as possible!

Click here to read more

Wetness is a sure fire way to make your shoes smell, so make sure to dry out running shoes, pumps, sandals or boots before storing them in your closet. Set them next to the heater or outside in the sun before mold begins to grow
If you can, wear socks or peds
I heard once that putting your shoes in the freezer (in a freezer safe plastic bag) will help diminish the odor causing bacteria, so give it a try and report back with your findings!!
Using baby powder, or any other drying agent, will help keep your feet sweat free in shoes when socks are not an option
Baking soda is known for removing odor and this holds true for smelly shoes as well. Dump a generous amount in your shoes and let them sit overnight. Discard the powder and your shoes should be odor free
If your feet sweat often, be sure to rotate your shoes often and wear open toed sandals when you can to give your feet a chance to breathe
As obvious as this may sound, don't forget to wash your feet in the shower. Oftentimes people think that just because their feet are being "rinsed", they are clean-- a very false assumption

If you have any other tips you want to share with our smelly feet friends, please comment below!

Source

It's Time To Say Bye To My Abusive Guy

DearSugar — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar
I am 20 years old and have been married for ten months. Before my husband and I got married, he was abusive. The first time that he hit me I was pregnant with our daughter. I left him for almost two years and he spent some time in jail but has since been released.

He promised me that he's changed so I decided to give him a second chance. Since we got married, he has continued to abuse me. He has only hit me once, but he is verbally and emotionally abusive on a daily basis. I know I need to leave him but I don't know what to do or where my daughter and I can go. I am so confused, can you help? Tortured Tanya

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Tortured Tanya
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I understand this is an extremely confusing time for you, but you are doing the right thing by leaving your husband. Abusers do not change overnight even thought they make promises, their behavior only gets worse without professional psychiatric therapy.

Do you have any family members or friends you can stay with until you can get your feet on the ground? If you don't feel comfortable confronting anyone and there are no other family members around, there are many online services, free of charge that can offer support, and guidance 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Try contacting The National Domestic Violence Hot Line or The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence for help and advice.

Although your daughter is still young, this behavior is bound to impact her life as well so the sooner you leave your husband the better.

Now is the time to set an example of courage and bravery. Abusers can be master manipulators and tend to feel deep remorse for their abuse only to strike again so don't let him fool you. Hang in there, be strong, and remember there is always help out there.