TresSugar

The Benefits of Long Distance

DearSugar — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Though I've mentioned the environmental concerns related to a long distance relationship, I know that being able to physically see the person you love is extremely important. Feeling like a major facet of your relationship is out of your control can be very frustrating, and missing someone is always a struggle. Together, these can make long distance relationships difficult, which is probably why they get such a bad reputation.

But there are plenty of healthy, happy, and successful couples in long distance relationships. So why not look on the bright side and come up with some perks to doing the distance thing? I've listed mine below. What are yours?

You get to have more time for yourself.
You're never the friend who's always with her boyfriend.
You might miss out on nightly sex, but when you do have it, it's really great.
You can actually keep up with your plan to eat healthy and work out more.

To see the rest and share your own, read more.

There's always something to look forward to.
You may not have a lot of time together, but the time you do have is extra special.
You have the whole bed to yourself!
You actually get to miss each other.

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This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0700

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You Asked: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

DearSugar — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over four years. We've made it through a lot of obstacles together, and I love him dearly. We recently hit a plateau and have broken up several times in the last few months. It's been a rocky road lately, and I go back and forth daily about whether or not to stay. He is a great guy and treats me like a princess, but it seems lately like our entire relationship is an uphill battle that we aren't winning.

For a very long time, I mentioned to him that things needed to change and he ignored it. Then we took a break and suddenly he's changed, but at this point it almost feels like too little to late. I used to have a huge sex drive and always wanted him to touch me and kiss me but now, it's the exact opposite. Is this relationship salvageable? Is there anything I can do to fix this?

- On the Fence Olivia

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear On the Fence Olivia,

Four years is a long time to spend with someone only to walk away, so I completely understand your hesitancy on deciding whether or not to stay in this relationship. Since you don't mention any specifics about the things that "needed to change," I'll assume that they're a variety of issues that came down to you not getting your needs met. This happens in many relationships and it can cause one person to find the satisfaction of those needs in other places. It's likely that in the time he'd been promising to change with no evidence of such, you had been distancing yourself emotionally. Now that he's made the changes you're unable to close that space that's been created, thus creating that too-little-too-late sensation.

That said if you walk away from something without certainty you may be left with feelings of doubt or worse, regret. If your boyfriend really has changed, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and try reinvesting yourself in the relationship. If in a few months time you're still feeling the same way or your boyfriend has reverted to his old self, then at least you'll know that you gave it a last try. I hope it all works out.

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Group Therapy: I'm in a Relationship but Have a Crush on Another Guy

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:00:00 -0800

I have been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. However, last March I broke up with him because I was traveling and felt I needed to be free. I met other guys, kissed a few (but no sex - it never felt right since I never got over my boyfriend), and ultimately missed my boyfriend more and more. When I got back he was really busy doing his own thing. During a couple of months that we didn't talk, I ended up meeting someone. He lives next door. We hit it off and ended up making out a few times. He is not my type, but we still had fun. Again, there was no sex; we did this whole "friends with benefits" thing for about a month. Then my boyfriend and I got in touch and eventually got back together. I told the other guy that my BF and I were together again and that ended.

Things have been good with my BF, but we live six hours apart. The long distance is getting tough. He is moving in about six months, which is great, but I feel like I might have a crush on my neighbor again. The other day we met up for lunch and he told me he was still into me. I told him I was very happy in my relationship and wasn't available. I am happy, but sometimes I just forget; I don't see my boyfriend for two months at a time and only talk to him for maybe 30 minutes a day. He is really busy and has a grueling schedule, as do I. The moment he visits, everything is back to normal, and I forget all about my neighbor. I haven't kissed the guy since back when I was single. I guess it just feels nice to be in his company. I don't know what to make of this. Should I try to put him out of my mind? What do you guys think?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Scarless Breast Augmentation

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 07:23:49 -0700

Dear Sugar
I am considering breast augmentation with mastopexy, but since I scar easily, I have been researching scar-free alternatives. I've found one surgeon, the creator of the TUBA procedure, who will do a lift with the implants and there won't be any visible scarring. The lift is done by making a tiny incision through the underarm.

I want it, but it seems really new since no one else is doing it. How can I make sure this is safe, and effective in the long term (the life of an implant is about 10-15 years)? Boob Job Jennie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Boob Job Jennie
If you are nervous or scared, then I would wait. You want cosmetic surgery to make yourself feel better, and if you are concerned about scarring, and about the risks of a new type of procedure - definitely hold off until you have some more information.

But if it makes you feel any better, I have done some research for you on Mastopexy and have come to understand that the scarring is really not that bad. Results also show that most breast scars disappear within a year to a year and a half.

Here are the four different types of mastopexy you can choose from depending on how asymmetrical or saggy your breast are.

Crescent Mastopexy (or breast lift) treats nipple sagging and breast asymmetry.
Beneli Mastopexy treats breast that are slightly sagging or drooping (ptosis). This procedure is perfect for women who suffer very thin breast tissue. The scar would only be around the nipple area.
Vertical Mastopexy treats breast that are sagging pretty heavily. A scar would be around the nipple and down the center of the breast.
Full Anchor Mastopexy treats major sagging and also when the nipple is well below the level of the lower breast crease. If the distance the nipple must be moved is too great, a vertical incision and transverse crease incision (T shape) must be added to the mastopexy to shape the breast, and adjust the distance from the bottom of the nipple to the crease beneath the breast. This procedure is similar to breast reduction surgery and will leave a scar around the nipple, down the front of the breast and in the crease below the breast.

I've also researched Transumbilical Breast Augmentation (TUBA procedure) for you and it seems safe and just as effective as if the implants were inserted directly into your breast. The incision of choice actually seems to be through your navel as opposed to through your underarm.

There are many benefits to TUBA such as: no scarring, less pain and less recovery time. The surgery isn't invasive and this procedure has actually been around since 1991. There is a large network of physicians who perform this type of surgery. You can find them here. This link also addresses the myths and misconceptions associated with TUBA.

The choice is yours. I think either type of procedure will create the same result and will not effect the longevity of the implants. I would choose whichever method makes you feel the most comfortable. Good luck.

PS- Guys, while I would love to add photos to this post, I've decided to keep it g rated. Thanks for understanding.

This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 04:00:00 -0700

With Engagement Week in full swing, I hope you didn't miss any of our other great features. Just in case you did, I am here to wrap up another week with DearSugar!

Do Tell... what's your favorite song lyric?
Complaining is unfortunately part of our everyday lives, but do you think you could go 21 days without uttering one single negative statement? Are you up to taking the complaint free challenge?
I know you are all excited that Sunday Confessionals are back, so click here to ask for forgiveness
There are many different views on this question, so what do you think? Does Long Distance Lolita have a right to be jealous of her boyfriend's new girl friend?
Don't be shy, we have all done it once or twice, so do tell, what was your worst excuse to get out of a date?
What celebrity do you think would benefit from a make under?

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