TresSugar

Do You Think You're Good at Media Multitasking?

TresSugar — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 07:00:00 -0700

If you do, that might mean you suck at it.

Although we hear all the time that women are better at multitasking than men, a new study says that regardless of gender, media multitaskers (those who simultaneously use their computers, watch TV or text on their phones, for example) aren't as good at doing several things at once as they think they are.

The study was initiated when researchers asked themselves what it was about "high multitaskers" that allowed them to do what they do so well. But in experiments designed to test the two groups’ attention and memories, the group that defined themselves as consumers of multiple media did worse than the lower multitaskers. Ironically, it was the low multitaskers who were convinced they weren't going to be good at doing several things at once.

"The shocking discovery of this research," says Professor Clifford Nass of Stanford, "is that high multitaskers are lousy at everything that's necessary for multitasking." Now researchers want to know whether or not it's people with low multitasking skills who are drawn to multitasking, or if perhaps their jobs dull their ability to be good at it.

Do you think you're good at media multitasking?

Do You Play Games When Texting or Calling Back?

TresSugar — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 06:00:00 -0700

There are so many silly dating games that people play in order not to look too eager or worse, desperate. I knew a married woman who carried her playing hard to get into her marriage! I was shocked when she told me that she never, ever called her husband; she waited for him to call her and took her sweet time getting back to him. (Wow.)

Most of us observe less extreme rules when dating. Your first date may call (or text) you the day after your date (maybe two days) and you may call him or her back in a few hours or even one day later, rather than right away. God forbid actually answering the phone, or texting right back!

I'm only kinda kidding. Do you play games when texting or calling back a date?

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Group Therapy: Is Texting Just As Bad?

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 04:00:00 -0800

My husband is having a text relationship with one of his co-workers. They text back and forth about stupid stuff, but it always has a flirtatious tone. I know it is just text messaging, but it really upsets me to the point where I am thinking about divorcing him. The worst part is that I confronted him about it and he tried to play it down, saying he has no physical attraction to this woman. He sees her every day and he says that he will just cut it off, but is the damage already done? Is texting just as bad as any other kind of emotional affair?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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Ruh Roh!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:00:00 -0800

I guess this is one way to tell dad you lost your virginity.

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A Do or a Don't: Sexy Texts

DearSugar — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

Since texting is so common these days, it's definitely had an effect on dating. For some of my friends, flirting with their significant others via text during the day helps keep the romance alive at night! And sure, a couple of flirty texts here and there is one thing, but a steamy text session is another! I’ve actually had more than one person confess to me that they love getting frisky via text. Frankly, it seems a bit tricky to me - I guess you have to have a really good imagination! Have you engaged in naughty texts? Or is a text the last thing you think of as sexy?

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Where Do You Stand? Dating by Text

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 11:00:00 -0700

If computers are the new way to meet people, then texting is the new flirting. Now, instead of sending flowers, guys can just send a text. And instead of calling you between dates to check in, all they have to do is send a teaser via mobile. Obviously, I’m being sarcastic!

In fact, lately all I hear about is how texting is ruining dating. I have more than one girlfriend who’ve deemed this the most annoying trend of all time. But it’s not just the guys’ fault. My same friends who complain are the ones who text right back, instead of demanding a phone call. But maybe I’m not taking this seriously enough. What do you ladies think? Are you all about using text for your predate interactions? Where do you stand when it comes to dating by text?

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Trend Watch: Walking, Texting, and Running into Sh*t

GiggleSugar — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 08:00:00 -0700

The following story was yesterday's headline of the day, but this live-action news coverage is too good to pass up. Injuries caused by walking while texting are on the rise and a London charity has decided to do something about it. That is, they're padding lamp posts located along the "most dangerous" texting streets. The story is absurd, but the highly informative footage of peeps "accidentally" walking into street fixtures and poles really amps the entertainment value here. Hard-hitting news, eh?

Your Very Worst Drunk Text Message

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0800

The majority of you have fallen victim to the drunk dial, but what about the drunk text? I have to assume that if you're guilty of the drunk dial then you must be plagued with a few drunk texts here and there. It's really just an easier, less direct method of the same thing - next day humiliation. One of my friends even has "No Drunk Texts" as the banner on her cell phone.

I've received tons of jumbled text messages from drunk friends who can't even make out what they've written when I show it to them the next day; it's hard enough to speak clearly when you're in that state let alone type on a two-inch keyboard! So if you've done it, and I'm sure you have, what's the very worst - most embarrassing, rudest, incoherent, hilarious text message that you've sent drunk?

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OMG! WTF? LOL?

GiggleSugar — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 14:00:00 -0800

Like a big dork, I'm one of the few people who spells everything out in text messages. (Okay, I may use the occasional abbreviation.) But dammit, I'm afraid if I give up on complete words, I'm gonna sound like this kid. It's a slippery slope. . .

You Asked: Should I Forgive him?

DearSugar — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I have been in a great relationship of 5 years. We live together and love each other dearly. Recently my boyfriend has been receiving some text messages from his best friend's ex-girlfriend. They have all hung-out before together but never chatted on the phone. Originally I thought nothing of it, he said he was fixing her car, no biggie, and he never talks to chicks (or so I thought). Recently I read a message from her that said "yeah I'm here right now, maybe we can meet up after you're done with work on Monday". I confronted him and he said he had no idea she just sent it. Now us females have something called a woman's intuition so I checked my cell phone bill (his number is on my bill) and I discovered that he has been talking and texting to her since December, 7 months ago!!

So once again I confronted him as to what's going on with her. He told me he needed a friend, that it was nothing at all just someone to talk to. I have many friends and normally I feel bad hanging with them and leaving him at home so I try not to, but while I'm always at work on Saturday (he's off) he'll be texting her nonstop and calling. He has other guy friends but only her as a girl-friend. I don't know what to think- I believe him, I want to believe him, but hiding this for 7 months leaves me feeling incredibly betrayed. I asked him if we should take a break so maybe we both can find ourselves and figure out what is really going on, and he refused, he said he wants to be with me forever. He has apologized, but it's been about 3 days and I'm still upset, I've been moping around and I know that is not the best thing to do but that is how I feel-- how else should I be acting? And what do we do from here? He says that he wants to be with me and I want to make it work...what do we do? -- At a Cross Road Rachel

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear At a Cross Road Rachel--

You have absolutely every right to feel betrayed Rachel. The fact that your boyfriend has be-friended a woman doesn't sound like the issue here, it's his lying that is inexcusable. Don't men understand by now that they are going to be worse off after their girlfriend finds out his secrets, especially since you share a phone bill?? Geesh! I am glad you have confronted him -- but do you believe him when he says that nothing sexual happened between them? If so, do you think you can re-build the trust that is lost?

Your boyfriend needs to be a lot more understanding of your feelings right about now. It's going to take longer than 3 measly days to clear up your hurt, so if you want to mope around the apartment, by all means mope around the apartment! You're entitled to give into your feelings, and you should to be frank, so you don't harbor resentment and anger towards him for the rest of your relationship.

From here, you and your boyfriend are going to have to be very honest and open with each other's feelings, fears, and anger towards each other. If you want to make your relationship work, you have to make a conscience decision to forgive your boyfriend for his actions -- that isn't to say forget, but forgive him and try to move on. Have you given couples counseling any thought? Set some ground rules so you are both on the same page of what feels comfortable and uncomfortable in terms of friendships and time spent apart. It's healthy for you both to engage with friends outside the relationship, but only if you both trust each other, and that will just take some time. Good luck Rachel.

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