TresSugar

How Do I Handle This Strip Club Situation?

Tres Community — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:00:15 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

First of all my husband and I have been married for half of a year now. He's in the Navy and just got deployed, but right before the deployment he was sent to Hawaii for one day. I dropped him off at the airport and it was so hard for me to let him go. He called from Hawaii and we talked for five minutes then he said he had to go and he would call back.

As I was checking our bank account to check on the bills I noticed he had paid to go in to some type of club. While crying my eyes out because of how much I already missed him and knowing he wasn't coming home any time soon, I waited for him to call back. When he finally did I got him to tell me the truth and it turned out to be a strip club. This was his first time going into a strip club. The problem is that I feel so offended and disrespected. I know I'm not unattractive, and I'm very open minded in our sex life. So to me it seems as if I'm not enough for him, and that he didn't care about how I feel about strip clubs. The fact that he was lusting over those girls makes me so angry and upset.

To see the rest, .

When we talked I was so mad and disappointed and couldn't stop crying. But after a while I realized that I've been told not to say anything negative or upsetting to him since he was going on deployment to a very stressful environment. I won't be able to talk to him at all while he's gone, I can only send emails but I can't confront him there either. So I had to pretend that I got over it and that I was OK, so he wouldn't feel bad and guilty. But in reality I feel so disgusted and can't take the thought of him wanting someone else. I'm alone and don't have any family here, this is our first deployment and I'm still trying to handle it. He made things so much worse for me, now I'm not just worried about his safety, but also at the thought of when he goes to a port he's going to cheat on me. I'm just hurt and feel resentment towards him, but for as long as he's out I have to pretend I'm fine and support him through the emails. I know some people might think I'm over reacting, but to me this is just like cheating.

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Pole Dancers Reach For Olympic Gold

TresSugar — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:00:58 -0700

From the stripper pole to the Olympic podium? Proponents of "pole fitness" want more respect, and perhaps a gold medal would help. In an interview with Marie Claire, dance instructor Collette Kakuk, cofounder of the Pole Fitness Association, makes a case for pole dancing as an Olympic sport.

Poles aren't just for strippers anymore. There are stripping-based fitness classes, sport poles, and even national pole-dancing competitions. The moves require no small amount of strength, flexibility, control, and balance. Kakuk argues:

But if you look at rhythmic gymnastics and figure skating, so many of the movements are similar to what we do on the pole. We have to shatter the taboo. The pole is just another fitness apparatus, like a vertical balance beam.

I don't doubt that you have to be incredibly fit to pole dance. But I can't help but think the pole dancers might be a bit overeager for Olympic glory. As Kakuk points out, "we need to unify the sport. We don't even have common names for our moves." Well, at least they have a readymade soundtrack!

Stripper Music Radio Station - Hilarious or Horrifying?

TresSugar — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Alternative, hip-hop, country, rock, and now: lap dance. A radio station in Denver recently underwent a format change to become 101.5 The Pole, devoted to "classic nonstop stripper hits" from the '80s and beyond. Though it may just be a temporary stunt while the station transitions to an actual new format, The Pole is indeed spinning strip-centric hits until further notice. Do you think it's funny or foul?

Oh Snap! I'm Looking For a More Exotic Career

TresSugar — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0700

A job-seeker stops by the Centerfolds booth during an adult entertainment industry job fair yesterday in San Francisco. Hundreds of people showed up to find out about strip clubs jobs ranging from bartender and cashiers to exotic dancers and waitresses.

View 4 Photos ›

DearSugar Needs Your Help: What's So Great About Strip Clubs?

DearSugar — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Grossed Out Gretchen need your help. Her boyfriend enjoys the occasional jaunt to the strip clubs with his buddies, but she doesn't understand the thought process behind it. I'm sure many of you have experienced this before, so do you have any words of wisdom for her?

Dear Sugar,

Why do attached men go to strip clubs? It's a topic of conversation that I try to bring up with my boyfriend, but he brushes me off every time I broach the subject. I just don't understand why they spend money to see a strange naked women who won't dance for them for less than $50, when they could go home to the women they love and do the horizontal tango for free! I totally get that men need their guy time, but why can't they do it at a bar that doesn't involved scantily clad women? - Grossed Out Gretchen

Source

Turning People on . . . to Veganism

GiggleSugar — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 09:00:40 -0800

The owner of Casa Diablo in Portland, OR, was having a hard time selling locals on his Mexican vegan food. So he turned his restaurant into the world's first vegan strip club. Apparently, Portland has more strip clubs than any other city, not to mention a large vegan population. This video is brilliant in so many ways, not the least of which is this quote: "Even the meat-eating girls get to eat here free, so when they eat our food, they get turned on to vegan food."

Flashback: Male Strippers on The Ricki Lake Show

GiggleSugar — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 02:00:00 -0800

You always hear about some poor sap who falls in love with the female stripper he pays to be nice to him and "dance" in his lap. Watching these dudes on The Ricki Lake Show (how random was it that she had her own show?), I have a hard time imagining the reverse. They can have the hottest bodies in the world, but male strippers just make me - and a lot of women, I suspect - giggle. Has anyone actually gotten turned on watching a male stripper? Anyone, anyone?

Headline of the Day

GiggleSugar — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

Stripper, 44, Charges Age Discrimination

~~Exotic dancer~~ Stripper Kimberlee Ouwroulis filed a complaint against a ~~Gentleman's Club~~ strip joint in Toronto because she claims she was let go due to her age. She started stripping at 40 after a nasty divorce, was doing well monetarily, and had regular customers. But one day, her boss said, "Your time is up here." (Click here for her account.) I don't doubt that there were customers who preferred her looks and age, but I also don't doubt that stripping is mostly a young woman's game. What I find incredible is the hysterical conversation that comes up over this in this Fox News clip. First, anchor Megyn Kelly gets wished "Happy Birthday" and says, "Thankfully I'm not yet 44!" (Isn't that a tad inappropriate given the subject?) Then, the Fox News legal analyst says that if Ouwroulis's boss merely made "just one remark, that's not discrimination." Ummm, wha? "You're too old, scram!" isn't discrimination? I didn't go to law school, but that doesn't sound right. What does all of this bring up for you all? About stripping? Age? Fox News? Etc.? Sound off in the comments below.

Women's Common Complaint: He Occasionally Sees Strippers

DearSugar — Tue, 27 May 2008 07:00:00 -0700

So your man doesn't hit the strip clubs every weekend, but what if he goes with the boys every once in a while? If it's something you don't like or even understand, you're not alone, but talking about it with him will surely make a big difference. Here are some points you can cover.

Ask him why he likes going to strip clubs so you can get a better understanding of his rationale. Maybe he goes so he can spend guy time with his buddies, or maybe it's a way to have fun and relieve stress.
Explain how it makes you feel, that you're worried he may be more sexually interested in these other women than he is you. This is a good way to find out if there's anything about your sex life that bothers him or if he wishes things were different.
Ask him if it's one of his sexual fantasies to see a woman strip down and dance for him, then ask if he'd be interested in you stripping for him instead!

Dear's Advice:Remember that boys will be boys and just because your significant other enjoys hitting the strip club every once in a while, it doesn't necessarily mean he's any less attracted to you. With that said, if talking about it doesn't make you feel more secure, or if he's not willing to see things from your perspective and make some changes, you might want to reconsider your relationship.

Source

Another Stripper Bites the Dust

GiggleSugar — Fri, 23 May 2008 13:00:00 -0700

Who manufactures and installs these lame stripper poles? There's now a whole new genre of video that shows hard-workin' pole dancers practicing their craft at home, only to have the poles collapse by the end of their routines. Since this is happening so much, just to spice things up, they could incorporate a comedy routine into their shows at the strip joints where they work. A kind of Lucille Ball meets Jenna Jameson type thing.