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Stealing
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Sunday Confessional — I Stole From My Grandfather
Dear Sugar,
I did something horrible and I feel terrible about it.
My grandfather recently asked me to get him some cash from the ATM by his house. He gave me his pin number and instead of getting the $100 he asked for, I took out another $400 for myself without his permission.
The Yard Ornament Bandit Strikes Again!
Can't we all just get along an eBay account? Problem solved.
Thanks, College Humor!
Turkey Thief Drops Her Loot
This muumuu-clad bandit is on a mission to take home some turkey, but there's one problem: She hasn't practiced waddling with a 10-pound bird squeezed between her thighs. So when the time comes for her to tip-toe from the meat department to the store exit, the turkey comes tumbling to the ground. So much for sanitary eating, eh?
Found! A Thank You Note
Lesson: When life gives you a panty thief. . .take it up with Victoria's Secret.
Cement Jesus Statue Held for Ransom
It all started with a mysterious phone call. The voice on the other end of the line whispered, "Check your mailbox!" That's when this lady discovered a ransom note threatening to withhold and possibly harm her Jesus lawn statue until the neighborhood "weiner poopie" is all cleaned up.
Found! A New Year's Resolution
Resolution: Stop stealing piece of sh*t cars.
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The Making of an Evil Villain
Watch this little devil snatch the loot, take a bite, and then laugh in the face of his parental co-conspirator. He knows how to get what he wants, even when it's out of reach. Is it just me, or does this cookie monster have an eerie, almost evil, undertone to his giggle?
Headline of the Day
Betcha 10 bucks (of candy) that Lil Derrick was in on this.
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Street Performance Gone Wrong
Why did the thief cross the meditating yogi?
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Bird Makes a Burger Run
Staged or not, I love how this birdie takes the bait, waddles to safety, and then shamelessly eats the burger in front of its rightful owner. The audacity! Reminds me of a certain shoplifting seagull we once encountered...
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