TresSugar

Unflinching Triumph: A Stare Down Mockumentary

GiggleSugar — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Remember the badass bunny who kicks arse in online stare down contests? Methinks he should go pro and take his game to professional staring tournaments. The only problem is, there are no pro tournaments - yet. This forward-looking mockumentary follows the soon-to-be "sport" of stare down, where athletes won't go for the gold, they'll look it straight in the eyes and, well . . . that's about it.

This Bunny Is Kicking Arse and Taking Names

GiggleSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Simon here is a contestant in the ibeatyou stare down competition. Here's how it goes: Players challenge each other and go eyeball-to-eyeball to see who can stare into their webcams the longest without blinking. Simon, a fierce competitor, has beaten many - including one Jessica Alba. His strategy? Distract the opposition with his bunny nose bounce, and when the time is right, turn around and kill 'em with his cottontail cuteness. Works every time.

Ask a Rambling Storyteller: How Do I Get Out of My Rut?

TresSugar — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a rambling storyteller advises a woman who is in a major life rut. Want to throw your hat into the ring? You can submit questions here.

Today's Question:

I'm in a rut. But it's worse than that, I'm stuck because I realized that I have no goals. I am 30-years-old and in my twenties two things happened. The first thing is that I worked dang hard to get two university degrees. I picked a field that I did well in academically (journalism), but when I entered the work force I realized I couldn't hack the competitive atmosphere and the lack of creativity. The second thing that happened was that I got sick. I was diagnosed with a painful autoimmune disease that left me in pain and frequently bedridden.

When I was sick I was miserable, but the drug that I was prescribed made me CRAZY. And it made me gain weight. I was depressed and anxious and didn't want to see friends or family, I felt like a loser because I didn't want to see anyone, didn't feel attractive, and felt like a failure because I gave up stressful journalism for a super boring marketing job. So fast-forward a couple of years to today.

Today, I'm healthy. I'm off the prescription that made me nutty. My mood is great. I feel more like myself than I have in YEARS. But the thing is . . . I've spent so much time with my health as my number one priority that everything else has been stagnating. I'm in a job that I find boring, I still have friends - but now that I've poked my head out of the sand I'm feeling out of step, especially as many are now in serious relationships and have seriously good careers. I feel like I'm behind, but the thing is I don't know what to do. I'm drifting, and I'm starting to get anxious! Can anybody help me figure out how to get my confidence back and get a plan together?

Signed, In a Rut

To hear what a Rambling Storyteller has to say, read more

Hi In a Rut:

The answer to your problem lies at Ponderosa. Stay with me. I want you to picture yourself at Ponderosa. You go there because everyone says steak is very delicious, and you like delicious things, so you’ve been planning to order a T-bone. In fact, you have been preparing to eat a steak for so long that you’re sweating A-1. So you go to the restaurant, but then you realize that - oh crap! - someone has pickpocketed your wallet. So you chase the crook, and it’s exhausting, but you finally nab her and get your wallet back.

With that ordeal over, you want to sit down, but a bunch of other customers have snagged tables - and most of them are already on to dessert, those jerks. FINALLY you get a table and order the steak you’ve been craving. But when it comes out, it looks like braised mouse and tastes like a sweaty toupee. You stare at it and think, “Ugh, I don’t want this at all.”

Now, is it your fault that you were delayed by a stickyfingered crook? Or that the tables were filled by customers who started eating way before you did? Or that it turns out that steak isn’t delicious to you? I bet you can easily realize that no, none of this is your fault. So why are you being so hard on the Ponderosa that is your life?

Let’s review what you’ve told me: You were diagnosed with a painful disease, and the recovery process was not easy. Yet you managed to triumph. You thought you wanted to be the next Helen Thomas, but actually, you don’t, and that’s okay. How about giving yourself some compassion and credit for being handed more to deal with than most and handling it well? Of course other people are doing other things with their personal lives and careers. That’s because they’re not you. They didn’t beat back a disease, and they didn’t realize that they want to do a different kind of work. Different situations, different places in life, so ditch this “I’m behind” talk.

If you keep comparing yourself to others, you will never be satisfied. Ever. Stop doing that and start living each day like you’re going to kick ass - because, honestly, you’ve been given a second chance at a healthy life, and you’ll thrive by focusing on the opportunities ahead of you rather than ones you’ve missed in the past.

So, how do you regain your confidence and get going again? Whenever you start comparing yourself to others, stop those thoughts in their tracks and remind yourself that you’re on your own path. Focus on your personal situation, your experiences, and your goals. Start with what you do know: You don’t want to be a journalist, and you don’t want to do the snoozeville job you’re doing. So what things interest you? What is your passion? Could you add some volunteer work to your schedule, take a class somewhere, or otherwise follow what you like to do? Doing that will help you figure out what to do for work, and it’s bound to boost your confidence and self-esteem. That, in turn, will help you get ready for a great relationship when it happens.

Going back to the Ponderosa allusion, you might not want steak, but hey, look, there’s a huge all-you-can-eat salad bar! Approach the salad bar of life, dear reader. Sample a little of this, a little of that, and you’ll start figuring out what does taste good to you. (Just stay away from the croutons. Stale bread helps nobody.)

Signed,

A Rambling Storyteller

Book Bag: The Other Side of Desire

TresSugar — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0700

In The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing, Daniel Bergner turns his journalistic attention to four people who have what your average person would call abnormal desires. (This might be putting it mildly!)

In four profiles - of a foot fetishist, a female sadist, a devotee of amputees, and a pedophile - Bergner attempts, without judgment, to understand what drives these (sometimes tormented) people and what it can tell us about our own desires, whatever they may be on the spectrum of normalcy.

If you decide to approach this book at all - and note, it's not for the faint of heart - you may be like me. I walked away with a surprising amount of compassion for some subjects and not-so-surprising repulsion for others. Want more information? Then read more

Take the foot fetishist. This married man is afraid of telling his wife his overwhelming desire for feet, a desire he developed in childhood. To give you an idea for how much he's into feet, he can get physically excited, that's right - hard! - just from hearing someone say "feet." One theory for his desire is that it's attached to shame he felt as a child when he couldn't answer his teacher's questions because of his dyslexia. He recalls staring down at feet instead of looking up at his teacher. How complex and counterintuitive is that for the birth of a desire?

The female sadist also works as a designer of latex fashions, employing a slew of willing slaves as her sewing assistants in her basement dungeon. Sound mild? Well, there's the time she actually obliged a man's request to roast him over a pit like a trussed pig. In upstate New York. Um, wow.

If you have a curiosity for extremes in human sexuality and experience, The Other Side of Desire is a fascinating and moving book. You won't be disappointed.

Ladies Who Brunch Together, Read Alone

TresSugar — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 01:00:00 -0700

Sunday morning. It's sunny and warm, gorgeous - the perfect time to poach an egg and fail. With laptops in tow, my roommate and I sat down to eat pain perdu and read the news.

Halfway through, I saw us for what we were: two singletons staring at computer screens, occasionally coming up for air and conversation. "Is this the new Sunday morning table," I asked, picturing Mad Men's Don Draper with his newspaper fanning wide while wife Betty poached his eggs to perfection. "Probably," my roommate replied, "but I'm sure people in relationships realized it long ago."

Good point! Both chronically single, we have no idea what people in relationships do (j/k! we've had one, or two, who's counting?). I don't see how it's any different than reading the newspaper at a table, so how does it work for you? Sparkling water with a MacBook Pro? Or, printed paper and conversation, unaided by the Internet?

The Solution to My Dating Woes!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:15:00 -0800

Forget Match.com, Nerve.com, or (my preferred method) staring at strangers on public transportation. I'm ready to try Farmer's Only, the website that matches rural folks with other rural folks (or maybe with jaded city girls?). City boys with their tight skinny jeans, esoteric music tastes, and boring cynicism are so five minutes ago. I want a hardworking, down-to-earth farmer - and now I know just where to find him! Sweet.

Send in the Clowns!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:00:00 -0800

Coulrophobia: An overwhelming fear of clowns. This lady: She's got it - bad. In this heart-stopping clip, Chris, a woman with a crippling fear of clowns, stares down her nemesis in the most dramatic video you'll see all day, possibly the most dramatic video you will see in your lifetime. With an all-star cast including The Psychologist, Mr. Giggles (the man who is at once her tormenter and her savior), and Parsley, the loyal, wisecracking sidekick who will see her through to the end - Operation Send in the Clowns is not a video you will soon forget. (To see if Chris is truly cured, though, we should send in this clown and see what happens.)

Click here to see the unedited video.

Friends of Harvey Milk Talk Gay Marriage

LibertySugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:31:18 -0800

In 1978 Harvey Milk, the first openly gay person elected to major office in the US, led the fight against Proposition 6. The California ballot measure would have banned gay teachers, including those already teaching, from public schools. Milk's organization against Prop. 6 is featured in the upcoming movie MILK, staring Sean Penn. A group of close friends, including Cleve Jones and Anne Kronenberg, surrounded Milk in his quest to preserve the human rights of gay Americans. I recently got the chance to meet longtime civil rights activists Cleve and Anne and ask them what they make of today's gay rights movement.

How does Proposition 6 compare with today's Proposition 8 to outlaw gay marriage?

Anne: Proposition 6 was (about) a basic fundamental right of gay men and women being allowed to teach in our schools. It was based on a morality that gays would be recruiting the kids and trying to turn them over into homosexuals, which is so bizarre. I think the same right-wing, Christian, born-again (groups) certainly play a big role in Prop. 8 currently. But (now) we're talking about an equality issue. . . . If you think in 30 years the difference (between) the paranoia of "I have a teacher and they're going to make me a dyke," to now we're talking about marriage - I think Harvey is smiling that we are even there.

To find out if Cleve thinks Proposition 8 will be defeated tomorrow as well as what he makes of today's gay activists, read more.

Cleve: I think we're going to win, but I don't feel the level of fear that I felt then. I feel that history's on our side, that we are moving in the right direction. And that if we do lose it will be a setback and I will be angry and disappointed, but I won't feel the same gut-level fear that we felt then. If Prop. 6 passed, we were going down a slippery slope right to fascism. I mean, that was outrageous - how would they determine who was homosexual? How would they test us? And it also included language for those who advocated for homosexuals. There was much more . . . real fear in the pit of your stomach and of the violence that could be unleashed. . . . It's very different now. We are winning and winning and winning. If we lose this one, it will be a minor and temporary setback.

Do you think today's gay youth have the same passion?

Cleve: I often say to younger people, "you know things are only new once, and I'm sorry you missed it" (laughs). But I think you can look at all the economic changes in San Francisco. It was much easier to live in the city then, it was much cheaper. Artists, students, young people could live on very little money. . . . But things are only new once. And all of us that were participating in the movement were keenly aware that we were participating in something that had never been seen. . . . It was just an amazing time. And everything was brand new: the first marching band, the first gay synagogue, the first gay film festival, all of the institutions and structures we now take for granted.

Photo courtesy of Focus Films

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 11:09:49 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

This short week keeps throwing me off, I thought to myself as I unlocked my front door. Pushing the door open, I took my heels off, relieved. "Hmmm..." I said to myself. Today was Friday, time to relax! I made my way into the kitchen and poured a glass of water, and looked at the calender. "Meeting with client, check. Doctor appointment..check." I said. My eyes trailed to Friday, today. "OH NO!" I shrieked... I stared blankly at the calender, staring at the words "Boss coming for dinner at 6:45." It was already 4:20. what was I going to do?? Wait! I remembered reading something about hosting a no fail impromptu dinner party on YumSugar earlier at work! I ran over to my computer to open firefox when an email notification side tracked me. My gmail notifier was telling me I had an email from John, asking if 7:00 was good for dinner tonight. Apparently this was going to be more complicated than I thought! Normally I'd just cancel, but this was a date I'd been looking forward to for two weeks, and the ONLY chance I had to see him before we both left for vacation!

I cant cancel on my boss, and I cant cancel on him so I guess the only thing to do is to really turn it into a dinner party. I clicked the reply and typed in "6:30--my apartment, I want to cook something special," I didn't want to make it too conspicuous. I immediately ran over to my purse and grabbed my blackberry to send out immediate invites to some coworkers and some friends to make it seem like a real dinner party. It wasn't long before I had 7 RSVP "Yes's" and 5 "No's." I ran to the freezer and searched through to find ingredients for something tasty.

The choices were scant. Microwave burritos, microwave pizzas, and ice cream were all that lay lonely in my freezer. I frowned and closed the freezer. "What a predicament I've gotten myself into," I sighed. I stood still for a minute with my hand to my forehead. I walked to the phone. I couldn't believe I was doing this, but I dialed my mother for help. She picked up and of course "Of course ill help you," she said. "Meet me at the grocery store and we will whip something up." I grabbed my keys and bolted out to the car. I drove down the street with the trees passing by and the thoughts on my mind. What did I get myself into? I pull into the busy parking lot. The mesh of car stereos and summer heat mesh into my head. Gangster rap, Avril Lavigne, and my guilty pleasure Madonna all collide. I see a vacant spot. I parked the car, but before I ventured outside I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I can do this, I can do this."

That was my mantra for the day. Right in front of the grocery entrance was my mother, looking happy as ever. One would think she took a shot of botox in the face while she was smiling. I loved the woman and all, but as I walked up to her she was already criticizing me.

"Darling you know you should be more prepared for situations like this, didn't I teach you better?", she said staring at me up and down. "I hope your going to do something with that hair of yours", she said as she pointed out my roots. My mother is always quick to point out my flaws. We made our way through the store and my mother was going on, and on about some dinner plate recipe she saw on Martha Stewart. " I think you should serve your guests simple finger foods to start", she said while taking a sample of the gourmet cheese. "Something light and easy" She kept going on her own tirade of how she wants to prepare my dinner. Dealing with this my whole life I figured how to ignore my mother.

It felt like our trip to the grocery store had taken a lifetime as we walked up and down every single aisle, my eyes staring into space, envisioning the dinner disaster. I looked at my watch and we'd been there 30 minutes. The cart was already loaded with an assortment of fancy cheeses, bottles of wine, and a variety of random foods I never thought I'd find myself cooking. I rushed my mother to the checkout and the bill made my jaw drop. Thankfully, my sweet, sweet mother paid for everything. Progress had been made.

Back at home I got down to business. I remembered something I had read on YumSugar about setting up stations of food so I set the cheeses and salami on the island in the kitchen and the olives and blueberries on a counter at the other end near the entrance way. Next I turned to the refrigerator to get out the chilled wine. I put it in the ice bucket and glanced around. What am I missing? It's 6:15, crap I forgot to get dressed. I run to my room to slip on my red strapless dress that was hanging on the back of my door. I looked in the mirror ans gawked because I had forgotten my boss was coming over too, not just my boyfriend. I ran back to my closet and grabbed a black knee length dress that always flattered me, put on some black pumps and quickly ran to the bathroom where I had ten minutes to put on some makeup. Just as my lipstick was painted on I heard the doorbell. Crap! I took one last look at myself and decided to grab the hairspray flip my head over and give it a little volume. As I ran to the front door, I hit the stereo to play a little music to set the mood. As I got to the door, I stopped, took a deep breath and put on my biggest "So glad to have you over" look and opened the door.

Thankfully, it was Samantha, my work best friend. After a fit of laughs I filled her in on the situation. She said she would help me keep our boss occupied while I was able to put in face time with John. I don't know how but she convinced me to change back into the red dress. Although Samantha reassured me that the red dress was safe enough to wear for the dinner, I couldn't help thinking that nevertheless it was inappropriate for a work-related dinner. I surveyed myself in the mirror and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. I kept the dress on.

About an hour after Samantha arrived, the doorbell rang time after time. It wasn't long before the seven guests, including my boyfriend and boss arrived. My boss walked in with a ruffled look on his face, seeing a group of other people. Then I realized I forgot to tell him that others were coming. 'Um.. er.. hi Rachel. How are you?" he asked, clearly perplexed with the other guests in my apartment. "Great. Thanks for coming." I immediately pulled him into the room and introduced him to the others. hen he asked if he could speak to me, "outside". I said sure, but was getting a bit nervous over why he seemed upset there were other guests here, and why he needed to speak to me outside. When we reached the back door he said "Rachel, the reason I wanted to have dinner tonight was because I wanted to discuss with you..."

"OMG" I thought to myself. Um.. OK.. calm down.. ".. that I think you would be perfect for the position. And I wanted us to talk about the process of applying and essentially transitioning as my right-hand person." I'm sure I must have looked like an idiot. I stared him in the eyes with my head slightly tilted, looking confused. He coughed in the midst of an awkward silence and that seemed to wake me up. I started. "Oh my. Well -- I had no idea. Thank you so much for the opportunity. I really do appreciate it." I glanced sideways nervously and said, "I apologize for the presence of the other guests. If I had known the importance of the dinner, I would have made sure that the environment was a bit more professional."

"That is okay. I kind of like the atmosphere and it will be some nice mingling and networking with some of your fellow workers. Who else is here?"

Then I remember my boyfriend ws bringing over 10 of his old college buddies and a beer keg! OMG, I thought to myself....what am I going to do??? I frantically try to call my boyfriends cell phone....4 times, and no answer. I racked my brains to think, did I know any of his college buddies? Think, think! I called Samantha discreetly to my side and filled her in on John and the beer keg. "But I thought you said it was a date?" she said with a look of disbelief painted on her face. Yeah that's what I thought too! You need to stall them at the door...or better yet in the lobby downstairs. Tell John to come up, I want him to meet my boss but his friends cannot come in!" She laughed at the fact I was getting so worked up over this and replied with "Okay okay! Don’t worry, I am sure I can keep them all occupied downstairs with me." She sarcastically smiled and walked out of the kitchen. Samantha said she would be stepping out to the other guests and as she turned to the door I could see her spray some perfume on her neck and pull down the front of her dress a little bit...leave it to sam to be promiscuous in the face of an emergency.

After she left I grabbed the wine bottle and went around to refill glasses and to mingle. It wasn’t long before I heard the door open and saw John walking in. Thankfully walking in solo with some flowers and a big smile. He looked gorgeous, a pair of khaki slacks, a mint polo shirt and his sandy hair tousled with a little gel. I prayed to whatever God existed and thanked him/her that he hadn't shown up in a basket ball shirt and sneakers. At least he looked smart but casual! I came up to him with an obvious look of relief on my face.

"Sorry about the gang," he whispered sensually in my ear. "Forget about it!" I replied and hastily introduced him to my boss. "Joe?" he said. "Uh, you two know each other?" I said. "That's my son." My eyes opened wide. "OH.MY.GOD." I thought to myself. Could this ruin my promotion, or my relationship??

I just smiled, and Joe blurted in...
"Yeah Dad, she's my girlfriend, we've been together for a bit now." My boss kind of looked shocked, then said he couldn't of chosen a better girl for his son. I took a deep breath, so relieved.

The only way I could think to break the ice... "Well everyone, dinner is served!!"

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

As I slammed down the phone I could feel my face flush with pure anger I can't believe she had the nerve to set her wedding date on the same day as mine! If I had the nerve I would've knocked her out! I could feel the tears coming so I took a few deep breaths and said my social security number backwards. I had to focus on work right now. So I turned to my computer, opened my e-mail, and saw a message from my boss. She said, "I know that this is short notice, but I need to see you in my office ASAP. There are several things that we need to discuss."

I grabbed my yellow legal pad and blue pen, and went in to her office. Why was I sweating profusely all of a sudden? "Please close the door," she said. I sat down in the chair across from her desk. What I wouldn't give for this view, I thought. "What's up?" I said casually?

"Emily," my boss said looking me straight in the eyes, "you have been doing such an amazing job lately that we have decided to give you a promotion! Congratulations!" "Really?" I said, "That's great, but, uh, isn't that job stationed in London?" "yes," my boss said "is that a problem?" "Of course not. It's amazing. Thank you." Emily said but what she was really thinking was, "A destination wedding in London will top them all, especially hers."

I went on the Evite website and did a mass invite to my wedding explaining that I would be sending the real invitations later. Perhaps if I got mine out before her more people would go to mine. In the midst of my anger, I even sent one out to her. The next day I got a call from her. "Hi Emily," she said, with so much fake sweetness it could give you diabetes. "Just got your evite, sweetie. 'Course I can't come, you know... Jared and I are so busy with wedding planning and all that. Can't wait till our honeymoon in Milan... Jarad rented out an entire villa! Did he ever take you to a villa, Emily, hmm?" Emily cringed, thinking back to the days of her and Jarad's tumultuous relationship if she only knew what we did before they got engaged. I wish I could just rub it in her face how he thinks I am a better lover than she is. The ignited passion between us that stemmed from the mutual contempt we had towards each other. I guess what they say is true: there's a thin line between love and hate. "Haha, no he never took me to a villa, but we had a most amazingly hot weekend together in Paris, Dans le Ritz" I said, using my most excellent french accent. "In fact, it was him not me who ended up begging for more. Anyways, Matt is a much more generous lover and our wedding is taking place in London..."

I tried not to smile but it was all too true. I could hear her breathing, she was angry. I could tell things were going to get competitive and ugly. It was going to be a battle of the weddings. I was almost ashamed of myself for being this determined to make my wedding better! Besides, she had no idea that I had already hired her sister, who was a personal trainer, to help me look and feel amazing on my wedding day. Which reminds me, I have to go meet her soon to discuss my pre-wedding workout program plan. "Listen hun, I actually have to run. Gotta look super skinny for the wedding," she said. "Yeah you could lose a pound or two or ten," I said as b*tchy as I could before she hung up. I then began thinking to myself about the weight I have been gaining lately. I have been trying to lose weight, and unable to. I have already cancelled four of my morning classes due to feeling sick. Wait could I...no...I can't be pregnant can I? I better not be! I can't have my fabulous London wedding looking like a blimp! Amanda would surely love to see my wedding fail and all the rumors she'll spread! Oh dear god. hopefully it's just pre-wedding weight due to the stress of planning this.

I can't handle the fact that my future mother-in-law is wanting me to wear her old wedding dress! It's the most hideous dress ever and probably won't even fit me since his mother is larger. What am I going to do I thought to myself. Problems are already arising out of nowhere. I took a breath, laid down on my bed, and completely passed out! I awoke to the intoxicating smell of my fiancee cooking dinner. I couldn't shake the dream I just had, well, if you could call it a dream, more like a sleep panic attack. Flashes of me, in a hideous wedding gown, half of my guests not showing because London is crazy far, and my 'friend' laughing her holier than thou ass off at my misguided attempt at being 'better'. I got up and tipped toed over to the kitchen. I wanted to catch of glimpse of my fiance cooking without him knowing I was watching. I couldn't control my laughter as I saw him dancing around the kitchen to a popular Michael Jackson song. It was in that moment that everything came together -- he is definitely the love of my life. How could I ever doubt that he was the one for me. When he proposed I took a week to give him an answer. He proposed over cell phone while he was on tour. I didn't think he was serious at first. I told him I need a ring and a bended knee and he had the nerve to say I wasn't special enough! Luckily he was joking. God, how amazing will our life be together? After he noticed I was watching he laughed and motioned for me to sit at the table.

After eating, I told him about London. He was ecstatic! But I had to make sure of one thing: I wasn't pregnant. I told my love I was going out to Walgreen's and would be right back. I didn't want to alarm him. When I got back, before I could get the door fully shut I dashed into the bathroom. After 15 minutes of waiting the test read... Pregnant. OMG I AM PREGNANT. Well, maybe now by the time of the wedding, I will have to wear my mother-in-laws dress after all. I decided to tell Matt right then and there. I stormed out of the bathroom and up to Matt.

"What's wrong luv?" "I'm pregnant." He looked at me and just stared. Literally, just stared! I don't think he even blinked!!! "Well?" I asked. Then Matt said,"Well if its a girl I've always been partial to the name Chauntelle, and if it's a boy Liam." I couldn't believe it!!! "What about your band?" I asked. "I can be a rock star Dad." Matt then dashed off to write a song about the baby. I couldn't believe it! A man not freaking out over becoming a Dad so young? He came out of his studio room an hour later. He had wrote a song called Baby Wedding. I screamed out of frustration. This can't be right, those stupid sticks always can make mistakes so I'll just go to the doctor! I told Matt, and grabbed the car keys.

I rushed to the doctors and took the test and awaited my results. As I flipped through a magazine, well none other then Amanda walks in, pale as a ghost! She didn't see me, and made her way to the desk, where the secretary whispered. "Oh my God, is she pregnant too?" I thought to myself. "NOOOO" Emily screamed. "I can't be pregnant, I'm a bride to be!!" She glanced over and saw me staring. I was trying not to laugh. Then my results were in... "Negative"

YESSSSSSSS!!! Amanda's jaw dropped and I left her like that.

Fast Forward 7 months later.

The weddings of Emily and Amanda was next week. After Emily's pregnancy scare and Amanda's miscarriage, they realized it they are so alike and they should have a joint wedding. Everyone was looking forward to it, however no one expected cousin Billy Bob to show up with his new male partner. Who knew that he was gay???

Emily glanced up and down the hallway of the chapel and pulled her head back into the dressing room. Why had she agreed to wear matching dresses? That was a seriously emotional decision. Regrettably, she puffed the skirt as she stared in the mirror she was sharing with Amanda. Thankfully they had at least opted for separate hairstyles. Emily's was red and pulled up half way and had a feeling of summer about it, while Amanda had her blond hair pulled into a chic chignon. They looked at each other and opened their mouths to speak. Embarrassed, Emily conceded, "You first" "It looks better on you," Emily snorted, suddenly bursting into tears while pulling a bottle of mace from her Lulu Guinness pink leather purse. Amanda screamed and ran behind the mirror. Peeking out she saw Emily poised and ready to attack. "Are you serious? I mean are you actually seriously pointing MACE at me?" She barked. "No," Amanda replied cooly "I'm just...going to... I can't do this! i can't marry Jared! I am in love with Matt, yes, YOUR Matt, he belongs to me!" "He does not! He's mine!" Emily grabbed at Amanda's perfect chignon and yanked it out. "I knew I couldn't trust you!" She gave her a hard shove then another one until she was backed up against a wall. " I knew I couldn't trust you the moment I met you when you..." *BAM!* a loud noise was heard outside their dressing room's door. Amanda and Emily stopped what they were doing and stared at each other in shock.

Jared and Mat walked into the room, Matt grabbed Emily and said, let's get the hell out of here, your friend Emily is a whack job, I have a car waiting outside, we are eloping, I can't wait anymore to be your husband, I love you I love you I love you!

Emily, grinning ear to ear, basically left tracks not even thinking about the fact that she won after all!