TresSugar

Whose Voice Makes You Weak in the Knees?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:00:00 -0800

Almost all of you agree that a man with a sexy voice is a huge plus when it comes to attraction - but let's be honest, nothing beats a man with good looks and a sultry sound!

Most men in Hollywood have a distinctive, recognizable voice, so tell me, whose spoken word makes you weak in the knees?

Source

Getting Noisy in the Bedroom

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

A recent post on About.com's Sexuality Blog considers the moans we make when we're getting it on. The post specifically recalls a study completed by Dr. Roy Levin, a sexologist, who determined that there were many reasons to make noise while in the throws of passion. According to the post, Levin's list of common motives include:

Conveying information to our partner about our arousal levels, what we like, and what we don’t.

Increasing our sexual arousal levels and/or that of our partner(s).

Enhancing the experience of pleasure (referred to as “hedonic amplification”).

Facilitating other arousal systems.

Adding to Levin's findings, the blog also mentions physical exertion as a possible and more basic explanation for noise during intercourse, likening sexy moans to the grunts of tennis players. Whatever the case may be, there's something extremely intimate about the noises of lovemaking that most people either find incredibly sexy or uncomfortable and awkward. I think it can be a bit of both depending on who it's coming from!

So ladies, what are your thoughts on being verbal during sex? Do you tend to be noisy? Or, are you as quiet as possible? And which do you prefer your partner be?

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Pillow Talk: Listen to your Partner

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 03:01:00 -0800

As with really seeing a partner or looking at the world with them, hearing can be an extremely powerful sense to explore with your partner.

To read more read more

The rich sounds of your man's voice or the sweet tones of your girlfriend's laugh: something almost physical happens when your partner has that something-something in his voice. Whispering can be calming or very, very exciting. Just being close to the ear can create a kind of electricity for some people -- not to mention the breathing or the nibbling.

I like hearing the sounds that aren't words: the muttering, the humming or whistling, the mumbling. Try noticing all the different sounds your partner makes and when they show up. Notice as many kinds of tones and emotions, too, when your partner is talking about something important.

Make sure to verbalize your feelings, too. Let your partner know what pleases you and matters to you. If you're comfortable, make more of an effort to communicate your desire with little sounds, which can be very reassuring to our partners. Practice whispering more with each other, which will keep you nearer, too.

Stay tuned next week for more about touch, taste, and smell.

Source

Product of the Day: The Sound Princess Bathroom "Noise" Blocker

GiggleSugar — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 07:02:00 -0800

I'm not big on fart humor, but when a product like this comes along, I gotta share it with you guys. The Sound Princess is installed in public restrooms in Japan to allow dainty women to mask unpleasant sounds that may result from, uh, doing what comes naturally. Press a button and you hear--the sound of a flushing toilet.

The inventor realized that women were "double flushing" (am I really writing about this?) to mask the sounds and that her product was helping to save water--13 liters for every withheld flush. Could a product to mask unpleasant smells be far behind? That sure would have helped this lady and an entire airline flight. (Thanks again, Queen of Noise. Where do you find this stuff?!)

A Tax on Cosmetic Surgery - Love It or Leave It?

TresSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:00:07 -0800

The Senate's proposed healthcare bill includes a novel approach to enhancing funding for reform: a five percent tax increase on cosmetic surgery. Procedures like tummy tucks, face lifts, hair plugs, collagen injections, Botox, or any other non-required procedure would get hit with the increase. The tax could raise as much as $6 billion.

If you think taxing superficial wealthy people to pay for the necessary health care of the poor sounds like a perfect idea, some people, namely cosmetic surgeons, say you got it all wrong. Statistics show that one-third of people who get plastic surgery make under $30,000 and 86 percent make less than $90,000. In addition, 85 percent of procedures are paid for by credit. So the tax would hit lower income people the hardest. Then again, maybe it makes sense to make cosmetic surgery even more out of reach in order to help fund basic healthcare needs. Still, more damaging to the cosmetic tax plan is the fact that a similar tax has so far failed in New Jersey, where it costs $3 trying to figure out what counts as "cosmetic" for every dollar raised from the tax.

Do you think the "botax" is worth a try?

Hump Day: What to Do When He's Not Well Endowed

TresSugar — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:00:24 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!
Today's question:
What are some good techniques to use with a partner who has a relatively small penis?

To see Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.

There are a few different things you could try to make intercourse better. The first thing is to have lots of buildup for both of you. The more excited he is, the harder his erection will be. That can maximize the sensations for you since the vagina tends to be most sensitive near the opening. And the closer you are to orgasm before intercourse, the easier it might be to have an orgasm once he’s inside you.

Some positions may work better for you than others. If you try rear entry (aka doggie style) and arch your back, you’ll probably be able to get deeper penetration. Some women report that crossing their legs (after he’s inside) in this position makes things snugger, which creates more intense sensations for both people. If you prefer face to face contact, prop your hips up on a pillow or the amazing Wedge. Bending your legs so your knees are against your chest also maximizes penetration. Since both the vagina and the penis vary in dimensions, you’ll have to experiment a bit to find the ones that feel best to you. Sadie Allison’s book Ride’Em Cowgirl is full of useful tips and fun ideas.

If you’re having trouble getting enough stimulation for your pleasure, you can always make sure that you get your needs taken care of first or keep the fun going after his orgasm. There’s a commonly held belief that simultaneous orgasm is the ultimate sexual experience, and while it can be fun, if that ideal is getting in the way, then ditch it. If he gives you oral sex or uses his hands first and then you switch to intercourse (or vice versa), then you’re both getting pleasured and I think that’s a great thing.

Quite a few partners of men with smaller penises find that oral sex can be a lot easier. After all, if you have a sensitive gag reflex or a narrow jaw, a smaller penis can be much more fun to play with. I definitely encourage you to get creative when it comes to blow jobs. Check out this excellent DVD on oral sex. Similarly, a slender penis can make anal sex more pleasurable, too. While a lot of people aren’t into anal play, if you happen to be, you might find that it feels better when you’re with someone on the slimmer side of things. You can check out this DVD on anal play.

As you can see, there are lots of choices. You may need to talk with each other to figure out what will work best for the two of you. While you might have some worries about talking with your guy about his penis size, I can guarantee that he already knows about it. If you approach the conversation from a desire to make sure that you’re both having fun, it’ll go a lot better. And whatever you do, don’t make fun of him or shame him for his body. Lots of men are hyper-sensitive about penis size and that’s not going to be a constructive thing to do.

Lastly, for the record, most penises are about five-six inches (12.7-15.24 cm) long and about five inches (12.7 cm) around. Lots of people have distorted expectations about penis size, especially if they watch porn. But a lot of people in porn movies (both male and female) are short - it makes penises look larger, just as they used to make cowboy movie sets small to make the actors look bigger. That sort of forced perspective is a trick of the camera, and unfortunately, it can lead to unrealistic expectations.

I hope that helps. Have fun!

Spoken by a Man, Written by Women: Don Draper's Wisdom

TresSugar — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:00:25 -0800

Mad Men's Don Draper spends a lot of time not talking, which does the rare double duty of adding to his appeal while reducing him to a total ass. But when he does talk, his words are elegant, philosophical, and - if you think about - really great advice! Even so, when they're all put together in this montage above, Don sounds more like a narcissist with a God complex than a wise man with a gift for language, reminding us where his words came from: women writers. With women filling the pool of writers on Mad Men, we'd be remiss to give Don all, or any, of the credit. So what's your favorite line?

Vampax: Stay Close to Your Vampire Boyfriend All Month Long

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:00:52 -0800

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

Is your monthly cycle getting between you and your vampire lover? Sounds like you need Vampax - new tampon technology that promises to keep you safe while you run around the forest with your brooding bloodsucking boyfriend. Learn all about it in this Twilight parody from the people at Funny or Die. It's disgustingly funny.

5 Gays Talk Project Runway Fall, at Least One Blames Women

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:00:46 -0800

From moving to the West Coast, to the influx of celebrity judges, to casting drama over talent, five gay men have offered their theories on why viewership of Project Runway fell 25 percent between the premiere of season six and its ninth episode. One faults having three female finalists (though that happened on Bravo's final season too) saying:

"I am all for diversity and playing to your audience’s demographic, but please. And not to sound completely misogynistic, but three women as finalists? No fags? Really? These women were probably the most talented, but obviously when you tell the Bunim/Murray casting juggernaut, 'This is Lifetime: Television for Women, not talented gay male fashion designers,' you get what you get!"

While he jests (mostly), women probably miss the Christian Sirianos who sharpen their tongues before even threading a needle each morning just as much as gay men do. But what do I know? I only watched the first three episodes.

Source: Lifetime

Hump Day: Sex Makes Her Uncomfortable

TresSugar — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:23 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. If you have questions about sex, send them to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:
I'm 24 and in my first relationship. I really like the guy, we've been going out for six months, but I get nervous whenever he slips his hand under my underwear. He gets the hint and stops. I don't mind him doing other things (we haven't slept together yet), but I wish I wasn't such a prude. I don't know what he expects and I worry that he will be grossed out, as I only shave/wax the bikini line but not the whole thing. What if he thinks it is ugly? I also don't know what I should expect; he knows I'm a virgin, but I don't know how to speak to him about why I get uncomfortable, and I don't know how to overcome it! I also have a few stretch marks and worry that he will be grossed out by them. Please help?

To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more.

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation. I know that it can be scary to talk about things like this, but these are all really common thoughts.

One of the things that can help when you’re on the edge of your comfort zone is to take it very slowly. It’ll probably help to tell your guy about your discomfort, even if you can’t tell him why it’s there. You could simply say "I have a lot of discomfort around sex." You also might want to do a little solo exploration. It takes the pressure off because there aren’t any partner expectations. Check out the wonderful book Becoming Orgasmic. If you’re looking for tips or ideas for techniques, Tickle Your Fancy is full of suggestions. Once you know a bit more about what you like or dislike, you and your boyfriend might be able to find something that you both like to do.

It’s worth mentioning that vulvas come in all different shapes. (The vulva is the external female anatomy. The vagina is the inside part.) There’s a long history of negative attitudes towards the vulva, but each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. A lot of women have the idea that there’s something wrong with their vulvas because they don’t look like what we see in porn or because they have hair, and I think that’s unfortunate. I strongly recommend getting to know your parts and Scarleteen has a great site about that. It’s geared towards teens, but there's lots of amazing info about sex, bodies, and pleasure.

Another option would be to explore some of these concerns with a therapist. When you have an itch on your back, you need someone else to scratch it. Therapists help us by reaching the spots we can’t reach on our own. Lastly, depending on where you are, you could join a body-image support group. While they tend not to focus on sexuality, they can be an incredibly helpful way to work through our concerns about our bodies and how we (or other people) feel about them.

Working through these challenges isn’t always easy, but it can be very rewarding. Whatever route you choose, I hope you find the pleasure and joy that you deserve.