TresSugar

Do You Feel Like Hell?

GiggleSugar — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 00:02:00 -0700

I have hard time believing that this is a fever reducer.

The "Man Cold"

GiggleSugar — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I'm sure we've all experienced it firsthand at one time or another- the "man cold." He's just as sick as you, but somehow he's so much more miserable. He's merely sneezing and sniffling, but from the way he's carrying on, you'd think he was dying from some rare, life-threatening strain of the common cold. But no, he is not dying. He's just a big baby.

Waiters Who Are Nauseated By Food

GiggleSugar — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 09:30:00 -0700

Two of my favorite funny guys, Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert, team up to play a couple of waiters in this short skit. What's the catch? They're waiters who double over at the mere mention of "chicken" because food makes them sick to their stomachs. Oy vey. Watch what happens when a customer asks to hear the daily specials. Big mistake!

Stomach This!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:00:00 -0700

Disclaimers and food don't mix.

Source

Hospital Chart Bloopers

GiggleSugar — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:00:00 -0700

There is nothing funny about being ill, but then again, we never get to see what the docs write down in those top secret hospital charts. Now there's some sick humor:

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Source and Cartoon Source

Plan On Calling In Sick On Tuesday?

GiggleSugar — Sun, 27 May 2007 04:00:00 -0700

After a long weekend of partying, do you plan on extending that holiday a day longer? I'm sure we will all consider it. *Cough, Cough* Luckily, we don't all work for Conan O'Brien.

How Not To Excuse Your Kid From School

GiggleSugar — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 09:09:57 -0800

Parental Excuse Letters Gone Wrong...They make me think these parents should take the child's place in class for a day- to learn a thing or two:

"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
"Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
"Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
"Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault."
"Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels."
"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday."
"Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral."
"My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines."
"Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well."
"Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."
"Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover."
"Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor."
"Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night."

Source

How to Avoid Getting Your Significant Other Sick

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Spring is here, but with the temperature change brings illness. I know too many people sick with a cold, the flu, or stomach bug right now, so here are some ways to prevent spreading your sick germs to your loved one.

Don't touch your significant other or their personal stuff. That means no kissing, no hugging, no holding hands, and no using their phone, remote control, water bottle, lip balm, laptop, etc.
Disinfect the personal items in your home, car, and at work to kill germs since they can live on surfaces for up to two days.
The best thing to do is get some space. Even if you start feeling better, you can still be contagious. If it's a stomach bug, avoid each other for three days after the time you start feeling better. If it's a cold or the flu, keep in mind that you're contagious for the entire time you're experiencing symptoms, which could be up to two weeks.
This is a tough one, but resist the urge to sleep in the same bed. If you live together, separate and have one of you sleep in the guest room or on the couch. If that's not possible, sleep facing opposite directions and be sure to frequently wash your sheets in hot water. If you don't live together, even better - spend the night at your own places until you're no longer contagious.
Take care of yourself by drinking hot liquids, eating nutritious foods, and resting.

Source

News to Me: Women Call in Sick More Than Men

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 08:00:00 -0800

We all get sick, it's just a part of life, but did you know that workers are calling in sick less often than they did a decade ago? That's the good news, but according to MSNBC, women are still absent nearly twice as often as their male counterparts. Although some people feel the obvious reason for this is because women are the main caretakers in the family and need to tend to their sick children at home, that isn't necessarily the case.

According to Terence McMenamin, of the Bureau of Labor Statistics, even people who have no children at home, the reported absence rate is higher among women than among men. I am sure we are all guilty of playing hooky and using the sick card from time to time, but ladies, tell me: Do you make it a point to use all of your allotted sick time?

Source

The How-To Lounge: Calling in Sick, When You're Not

DearSugar — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

We’re all human, which means there are mornings when we wake up wanting to skirt our responsibilities for the day. I don’t recommend playing hooky on a weekly or even monthly basis, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a mental health day now and then. There are responsible ways to get out of work for 24 hours and then there are completely silly ones. See my tips for the former when you read more.

As I said before, skipping out on work should be the exception not the rule, so make it count! Pick a day that you can actually enjoy off. The day before a huge project is due probably wouldn’t be the best choice.
Before you make the call, come up with your excuse. Keep in mind that faking a terrible cold isn’t going to work when you come into work the next day looking perfectly fine. The same goes for injured limbs! For more reasonable excuses, consider minor things like dental work.
When you finally make the call, avoid over-doing it with excuses or antics, like sniffling, fake coughing, etc.
Keep your explanation simple; don’t be afraid to just say you’re not feeling well and leave it at that.
Don’t post pictures of yourself out partying on the Internet. Some employers actually do check up on that. On the same note, don’t come into the office the next day sporting a new tan or acting like you just had the day off.

Understandably, many people feel guilty calling in sick when they’re not, but if you need a day off, you need a day off. Just make sure you don’t put your job at risk!

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