TresSugar

Do Tell: Have You Ever Had an Experience With a Woman?

DearSugar — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Tyra dedicated yesterday's show to straight women who have the hots for lesbians, and lesbians who have the hots for straight women - confusing, I know! Though her guests say they typically date men, many of them admitted to having relationships with other women, and loving it!

I think we're all incredibly lucky to live in a time where exploring your sexuality is accepted, so tell me, have you ever had an experience with a woman, even if you consider yourself to be straight?

Virginity For Sale

DearSugar — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:00:00 -0700

In controversial news, a 22-year-old woman is making headlines everywhere by offering her virginity to the highest bidder in the hopes of earning money for grad school. Commenting on the scandal this is causing, an article in Reuters notes that many who've weighed in on this strange scenario think it's just a desperate attempt at fame, while others consider such an act synonymous with prostitution. The woman offered her own insight:

I don't think auctioning my virginity will solve all my problems but it will create some financial stability. I'm ready for the controversy, I know it will come along. I'm ready to do this . . . We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?

I'll be honest, I find the notion of selling your virginity for anything, including higher education, extremely disconcerting. And while I advocate that women be both proud and in control of their sexuality, this seems like another thing entirely.

Regardless of whether it is or isn't prostitution or a try at fame, it troubles me to think that a woman would consciously put herself in this position. What do you think of this endeavor? Is capitalizing on our virginity akin to using our good looks to get ahead? Are there ways in which you use your sexuality as a tool to get what you need or want?

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Transgender Beauty Could Be America's Next Top Model

LibertySugar — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:45:03 -0700

The upcoming Season of America's Next Top Model embraces diversity as usual. Twenty-two-year-old Isis, who identifies as a woman but born physically male, will compete as the show's first transgender contestant.

While GLAAD hails the choice as an unprecedented opportunity for visibility, Isis has a more humble assessment of her role in breaking societal barriers for trasngender individuals - Isis has explained: "I like to help people, but I'm here to follow my dreams."

While it probably can't hurt the CW's ratings (and we all know Tyra loves publicity), featuring a beautiful transgender contestant could also help the trasngender community gain mainstream acceptance by breaking stereotypes.

If you're a big ANTM fan Buzz has the skinny on the rest of the contestants, and Bella has predicted how Tyra will handle makeover day. I wonder if Isis's gender identity will be a major theme of the show, or whether it will be something viewers easily forget.

Photo courtesy of The CW.

Could Sex Without a Condom Be the New Engagement Ring?

CitizenSugar — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:30:46 -0700

Condom-free sex is the new engagement ring. As shocking and lurid as that sounds, the story behind the headline is actually kind of logical. As told in an NPR piece in conjunction with the Youth Radio organization, for young kids in physical relationships now, they've never known a time before the threat of HIV/AIDS. What they have known however, is the impermanence of marriage. A ring, as they say in the piece, is temporary - STDs are not.

That's why the new engagement is sitting down with your partner, having a serious talk about commitment, and taking the plunge to get tested together. One of the teens interviewed said, "to have sex without a condom, it's like saying I love you." What it stands for is trust, a commitment, and a shared future together. Precautions are still taken to prevent pregnancy - it's not about that, it's about the trust that the other person won't stray or put your health in danger.

Does this trend make sense? Is trusting your health to another, the truest form of commitment? Want more? You can listen to the whole three-minute piece.

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What's Good Sex?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0700

In a recent article in The Huffington Post, Dr. Sue Johnson asks "what is 'good sex'?" and proceeds to examine what she refers to as the three kinds of sex, including sealed-off sex, solace sex, and synchrony sex. Before addressing each, she notes:

What really determines what kind of sex you are going to have isn't the novel positions you find in the sex manual or the new tips in the latest magazine. It's how safely attached you are to your partner. Emotional presence and trust are the biggest aphrodisiacs of all.

Accordingly, sealed-off sex is all about satisfaction and pleasure, and relies on emotional detachment, while solace sex is more about emotional needs and reassurance than physical pleasure. Synchrony sex, on the other hand, is when emotional desire and connection open the way to erotic satisfaction, and as implied by the article, is "good sex."

I certainly don't think there's any definition of good sex that works for every person, but I do know many who would argue that under the right circumstances, simple, physical sex can be great and so can comfort sex. So ladies, let me ask, what's your definition of good sex?

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When in Dubai . . . Don't Have Sex on the Beach

LibertySugar — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:00:25 -0700

A British woman working in Dubai faces six years in jail, after Dubai officials caught her allegedly having sex on beach. Dubai may be the Las Vegas of the Middle East, but it's no sin city. The thirty-year-old businesswoman has been charged with sex outside marriage, indecent behavior in public, being drunk in public, and assaulting a police officer. Her male counterpart also faces a maximum of six years.

The woman involved, who apparently made the mistake of traveling to the Middle East to have sex in public, fears that Dubai will make an example of her by issuing the toughest sentence. The minimum is three months.

While this woman should have known that having sex on a beach, in Dubai nonetheless, would be against the law, I think a six-year sentence offends a universal understanding of fairness and human rights. Do you feel sorry for the woman, or should she rightly suffer the local consequences for her misbehavior? Would this make you reconsider a trip to Dubai?

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No Death Penalty, But Should Rapists Face Castration?

LibertySugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 15:45:43 -0700

Convicted rapists and other sex offenders now face chemical castration in Louisiana, under legislation signed on the day the US Supreme Court struck down the state's child-rape death penalty. California was the first state to subject its sex offenders to the procedure popularized by the Nazis who wanted to prevent "undesirables" from procreating.

Upon signing the law, Louisiana's governor Bobby Jindal said: "I am glad we have taken such strong measures . . . to put a stop to these monsters’ brutal acts."

On a side note, Governor Jindal is all sorts of interesting. Currently the youngest US governor, and the nation's first of Indian decent, the potential McCain VP has defended intelligent design and written about his participation in an exorcism.

Not everyone supports chemical castration like Governor Jindal. While it can reduce physical urges, critics argue, psychological counseling is needed to address mental addiction behind assaults. Do you favor sentencing sex offenders to chemical castration?

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Powersuit of Tradition: Sworn Virgins In Albania Are Dwindling

CitizenSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:05:57 -0700

In Albania, gender equality has a literal meaning - and a less modern, more traditional translation that your 9 to 5 or Working Girl tropes. For centuries, sworn virginity has allowed woman to live as men, with all the responsibilities and rights that accompany the role in a conservative society.

In closed-off rural northern Albania, the practice of swapping genders was a practical solution motivated by social necessity, for a family with a shortage of men. One woman decided to make the change after her father was killed leaving no male heir. The custom she chose requires a vow of lifetime virginity - in exchange for living as a man with all the authority the gender commands - including the obligation to avenge her father’s death. Though she says she wouldn't necessarily do it now, then it was an easy decision:

Back then, it was better to be a man because before a woman and an animal were considered the same thing. Now, Albanian women have equal rights with men, and are even more powerful. I think today it would be fun to be a woman.

With sexual equality and modern trappings seeping into Albania (including MTV which popped in after the fall of the Berlin Wall) the tradition is fading. Not needing to make the vow to own property, move freely, or avoid an arranged marriage, now there are only about 40 sworn virgins remaining. The decision not only created equality in life, it created equality in worth. A woman is worth is half that of a man, but a virgin is worth the same as a man - 12 oxen.

The changes of modern times don't sit well with all the sworn virgins. To see why, read more.

One, who served as a senior army officer, grumbles that women do not know their place.

Today women go out half naked to the disco. I was always treated my whole life as a man, always with respect. I can’t clean, I can’t iron, I can’t cook. That is a woman’s work.

The remaining few are well respected for their sacrifice. One sums up her life on the border between genders saying:

I guess you could say I was partly a woman and partly a man. I liked my life as a man. I have no regrets.

It's a sacrifice perhaps not on par with donning a shoulder-padded 80s powersuit in the quest for gender equality, but not without its own message about the role of femininity and authority - that shunning sexuality brings power. Do we require female leaders to participate in a tacit subtle version of this custom still? Are femininity and authority mutually exclusive?

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Dear Quiz: What's Up With Erections in the Morning?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Ever noticed that your man wakes up a little excited sometimes? Well it actually happens pretty often, but do you know why? Take this quiz and find out!

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Take the quiz

Annulment Based on Bride's Fake Virginity Outrages French

LibertySugar — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:00:51 -0700

A court's decision to annul a marriage because the bride lied about being a virgin has the French worried that their secular values are under siege by religious immigrants.

The case involved a Muslim couple. Under their strict religious tradition, a woman must prove virginity on her wedding night. The court ruled that since the couple was Muslim, virginity was a prerequisite to the marriage. Thus, her misrepresentation of the requirement made the marriage invalid.

Women's rights activists say that the ruling treats women as a defected good in a commercial transaction. In addition, France's champions of secularism, who have worked to resist the religious influence of some 5 million Muslims that help make up France's population of 64 million, are outraged.

Their interpretation of secularism often leans towards forced secularism. To see how, read more.

France could be a secular state if it allowed its citizens to marry and divorce according to their own religious values. Instead, the French brand of secularism prefers no religious expression, to freedom of all religious expression - see France's ban of headscarves and other religious symbols from classrooms as an example.

It appears that once again, the French are the mirror image of their American counterparts, many of whom worry that the country's religious roots are being attacked. Do you think religious requirements should be left out of a state marriage proceeding? Or was the court correct to release the man from his contract, since he thought he was marrying a virgin?

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