TresSugar

Don't Ask, Can Tell: Sexual Orientation Screening On the Web

LibertySugar — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 09:00:20 -0700

Roommates.com cannot require users looking for roommates to list their sexual orientation. A federal appeals court just ruled that antidiscrimination rules apply to the Internet.

The panel ruled 8-3 that inquiring electronically about sexual orientation is no different than asking someone in person or over the phone whether they are black or Jewish.

Users can offer additional information, including sexual orientation, but the current practice is illegal because "Roommate makes answering the discriminatory questions a condition of doing business." The ruling does not stop users from asking potential roommates about their sexual orientation.

The dissenting judges thought that the "expansion of liability for Internet service providers threatens to chill the robust development of the Internet." Basically - we better not regulate the Internet, or it will stop growing.

Since the Fair Housing Act prohibits such screening in person or over the phone, does it make sense that it also applies to the Internet?

Source

News to Me: Bisexuality Is NOT a Phase

DearSugar — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0800

Most of you probably view bisexuality as a separate sexual orientation, but some scientists and people in society see it as just a phase, a time to experiment with sexual freedom and to have fun. Bisexual women are stereotyped as people who fear commitment, are promiscuous, or don't want to admit that they are lesbians. These insulting assumptions are made about bisexuals because there are hardly any scientific studies done about it, until now.

A new study shows that bisexuality isn't a phase at all - it's a lifelong sexual orientation just as heterosexuality and homosexuality are. The new findings also suggest that the distinction between lesbianism and bisexuality is a matter of degree rather than a kind of orientation.

There are a lot of social pressures among gays and lesbians, but bisexuals often have even greater hurdles. Hopefully with more studies like these, people will have a better understanding about bisexuality, which will in turn decrease prejudices.

Source

DearSugar Needs Your Help: Is My Boyfriend Gay?

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 09:00:00 -0800

DearSugar and Freaking Out Frankie need your help. She's always had a gut feeling that her boyfriend was gay and she's worried that her worst nightmare has just come true. So is her boyfriend gay? Weigh in and give Frankie some advice.

Dear Sugar,

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. I recently came across a gay DVD (it also featured a fetish of his that we now share together) at his place. He is well groomed, liked by many people, he lights up a room and loves flattery. He is well known in the community and is very successful. As you can tell, he's a great guy and I care for him very much, but about a year after dating I began to have this hunch about his sexual orientation. Blinded by love, I pushed it out of my head until yesterday when I found this DVD and my suspicions grew. My feelings are not of betrayal, but of sorrow for him. The DVD is old, dusty, and under things that have been sitting there for awhile so could this have been something he was experimenting with when he was younger? If so, then why hold onto the DVD? Things are so great with us and I don't want anything to change. I am thinking of keeping my mouth shut, but is that a bad idea?

Source

Hump Day: How Can I Become Multi-Orgasmic?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0800

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I keep hearing about women who can have 'multiple orgasms' and I can't figure out exactly what this means. Does it mean a woman who can have more than one orgasm in a night? One orgasm after another with little downtime? (Is that even possible? Most women are so sensitive after having an orgasm!) Anyway, if it exists, is there a way I can become multi-orgasmic?" To hear Dr. Glickman's response, read more

Part of the challenge in defining “multiple orgasms” is that different people use the term to mean different things. For some women, it means more than one orgasm during a single sex session, whether they’re 5 minutes or 30 minutes (or more) apart. For other women, it means one after another, without much time between them.

You’re right that many women are extra sensitive after an orgasm, but not everyone. In fact, some women find that they can just keep going, especially if they change what they’re doing. For example, someone might find that she can have an orgasm from clitoral stimulation and then switch to penetration for a second one. Or maybe she might have one orgasm from oral sex, take a break for a bit with something else to keep the passion up, and then go back to oral sex for a second orgasm. And there are women out there who don’t need a break after one orgasm before they start building towards a second one.

Not all women can become multi-orgasmic, but many women can. Some women find that their ability to be multi-orgasmic can change over time, too. So if it doesn’t happen for you now, don’t stress about it. You may find that in a few years, something changes and suddenly, it falls into place.

One really great place to look for more info on how to do it is Mantak Chia’s book The Multi-Orgasmic Woman. He approaches sex from the Taoist tradition, which works with sexuality as a form of energy that we can learn to channel, harness, and expand. If you’re familiar with energetic practices such as yoga, this perspective might be familiar. He has a book for men and one for male/female couples, too.

Another place you could look for information about this is Tantra. While most people only know about Tantra as a laundry list of sex positions from the Kama Sutra, there’s actually a lot more to it than that. Tantra is a set of practices that teach you to work with your sexual energy and it can help you expand your ability to experience pleasure, deepen intimacy, and have multiple orgasms. There are some good books like Urban Tantra and Tantric Sex for Women, as well as some DVDs.

In my experience, the best way to learn about Tantra is through experiential workshops because these are techniques that are much easier to understand when someone is demonstrating them. Most Tantra classes are fully-clothed and many are designed for people to come solo, while others are for couples. You can find out more about Tantra or look for workshop teachers on www.tantra.com.

One thing that I do want to be clear on: not everyone can become multi-orgasmic. If it doesn’t happen for you, there’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve seen a lot of people become very goal-oriented about it and they often end up sabotaging themselves because they’re not actually enjoying the sex that they’re having. So I encourage you to try it out and see what works for you, but don’t get so caught up in it that you forget to have fun. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Cleveland: Future Host of the 2014 Gay Games

TresSugar — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:42:00 -0700

While America's first family arrives in Denmark with hopes of bringing the 2016 Olympic Games home to Chicago, Cleveland, OH, has just been awarded the 2014 Gay Games! The sports and cultural event should attract more than 10,000 athletes, along with spectators ready to spend millions of dollars. In fact, the games can generate up to $80 million in economic impact.

The Gay Games were started in 1982 by US Olympic decathlon competitor Tom Waddell, who has since lost his battle with AIDS. The event's philosophy is that "doing one's personal best should be the paramount goal in any athletic endeavor." Anyone can participate, regardless of his or her sexual orientation or skill level, and competitors represent their cities, not their countries.

Cities like New York and San Francisco have hosted the Gay Games, but it's fun to see a less predictable location choice like Cleveland. Would you check it out?

City Officials Fail to Prevent Porn Star Invasion

TresSugar — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:00:00 -0700

The Exxxotica Expo opened today in Edison, NJ, for the second year in a row, meaning that blushing city officials failed in their attempt to prevent the porn convention from coming to town.

The city, hell-bent on keeping local fans from meeting their favorite porn stars, passed an ordinance that prohibited sexually oriented products at gatherings within 1,000 feet of a school, church, hospital, or playground. Only problem? The convention is being held more than 1,000 feet from any of those sites. Score one for the porn stars.

The city's focus on the annual convention borders on an obsession. It's become a major issue in the town's mayoral race, and one candidate produced ads that say: "Mayor Candidate Says YES to PORNO!" The candidate under fire for not getting on board the anti-porn convention train responded by saying, "No, it's not something that I would personally approve of. By the same token, I don't think we should be foisting our personal values upon everyone else, unless they're harmful.”

Do you agree, or would you be bothered if a porn convention came to town?

Gay-Friendly Curriculum Sparks Lawsuit From Parents

TresSugar — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0700

The decision by a California school district to introduce gay-friendly curriculum has been met with a not-so-friendly reaction. Parents are suing the Alameda Unified School district, alleging that inappropriate curriculum is being forced on their children.

Once a year, students in kindergarten through the fifth grade would be taught about LBGT issues. Kindergartners would learn about the harm caused by teasing or using the word "fag," while older students would learn about stereotypes based on sexual orientation. Certain parents are particularly upset because they would not be allowed to opt their children out of the lesson.

Do you agree with teaching students at school to be more tolerant, or should these lessons be learned at home?

Hump Day: TrèsSugar's New Sex Advice Column!

TresSugar — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:00:00 -0700

Are you confused about sex? Do have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird?

Never fear, TrèsSugar is rolling out a new sex advice column by our good friend Dr. Charlie Glickman at Good Vibrations, your friendly neighborhood sex toy/video/bookstore. It will be published, appropriately enough, every week on Hump Day! No matter what your sexual orientation is, if you have a sex question, send it to TrèsSugar and we will pass it along to the good doctor.

Dr. Glickman is a sexpert par excellence. He is the education program manager at Good Vibrations, trains the sex educator-sales associates, blogs for Good Vibes, and teaches classes on sexuality for psychotherapists and sex educators. He received his doctorate in adult sexuality education, and he’s certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

We're excited about this new feature, and we can't wait to hear your sex questions and Dr. Glickman's advice! Again, send 'em in to TrèsSugar.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Save or Scrap?

TresSugar — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Victor Fehrenbach, an F-15 fighter pilot in the US Air Force, has been serving his country with honor for 18 years. In that time, he's flown 88 combat missions, logged 1,500 fighter hours, and received nine air medals. He's gotten word, though, that his record doesn't matter as much as the fact that he is gay.

Under the Pentagon's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, he will be fired two years before he could receive a full Air Force pension, which he discussed recently on The Rachel Maddow Show. Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which allows gay people to serve in the military as long as they don't disclose their sexual orientation and which forbids their supervisors from asking if they are gay, was enacted in 1993 and approved by Bill Clinton, who saw it as a compromise between his campaign promise to let all people serve in the military regardless of sexual orientation and what was a ban on gays in the military.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is based on the premise that being gay "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of moral, good order, discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." Many argue that it's time for President Obama and Congress to review - and get rid of - Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Do you think it's a good policy based on sound reasoning, or is it antiquated and discriminatory?

Do, Dump or Marry? Rachel Maddow

TresSugar — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:00:00 -0700

Lipstick lesbians a la the glam ladies from The L Word have given way, according to the Village Voice, to a new kind of sexy: the butch woman as typified by MSNBC news anchor Rachel Maddow.

She’s desired, they say, by lesbians, straight women, and men. (I can attest to that - I’ve heard people of varying sexual orientations say they think she’s hot!)

In the article, Maddow is quoted as saying that she’s “a big lesbian who looks like a man. I'm not Anchorbabe, and I'm never going to be. My goal is to do the physical appearance stuff in such a way that it is not comment worthy." Oh, but comment worthy it is! Do, dump, or marry?